Undeniably, Thailand attracts some real characters. However there do seem to be some "types" that are more common than others.

1. The Bitter Guy: If you've ever read the message boards over at ThaiVisa you know the type. He hates everything about Thailand and Thai people (though he may be married to a Thai and have half-Thai children). He is unable to carry on a conversation for more than 5 minutes without somehow finding a way to start talking about "those fucking Thais."

Chances are he was a miserable asshole back in his home country and after a few holidays in Thailand (and maybe a divorce back home in Farangland) he came to Thailand thinking it was going to be like a lifelong holiday. After a few years in Thailand his miserable asshole tendencies come back and now he hates being in Thailand but finds it a better choice than going back home and being the same miserable asshole there.

2. The Hometown Hero: This is a guy who back home was supposedly the most successful person you could have ever known. He owned a multi-billion dollar company, used to party with Mick Jagger, had a school named after him, etc, etc. Despite the fact that he displays absolutely no successful characteristics in Thailand and has a low paying job which forces him to live paycheck to paycheck, he is quick to tell you tales of what a total success he was back home.

3. The ex-SAS, Delta Force, Navy SEAL, CIA Agent: Based on casual conversations I've had in bars, Thailand, and Bangkok in particular, must have the highest concentration of ex-CIA, SAS, Delta Force, Navy SEAL and Green Berets in the world. Lost on them is the irony of the fact that nobody who was actually a member of any of those elite forces would openly announce it in a crowded bar after knowing you all of five minutes.

4. The Barely Functional Alcoholic: Typically this is someone who either owns or manages a bar, is retired, or works offshore contract jobs with long periods of downtime. Every day is the same routine:

1. Wakeup

2. Start drinking

3. Pass out

You can often find these guys around 11am sitting in an outdoor bar nursing a beer.

5. The Buddhist Rapper: This guy might be the easiest of all bar types to spot because he'll be wearing a Buddhist amulet about the size of a small pizza around his neck. Off of the big amulet will be another 10 or 15 smaller Buddhist amulets. Most likely he'll also be pissed out of his skull, chain smoking, and bouncing his prostitute du jour on his knee as he tells anyone who will listen why his 7th ex-wife was a complete monster and how he won't make that mistake again.

6. The Mooch: You can always tell who the mooch is because nobody wants to spend too much time talking to him because sooner or later the conversation will come around to him being a little short of cash and maybe you can spot him 1000 baht until next week.

Of course, he's probably in for a few hundred thousand total all around town and your chances of ever seeing your 1000 baht are about as good as