LudwigVonMises Posted October 31, 2005 Report Share Posted October 31, 2005 I don't know if dirty jokes are allowed (or if so, how dirty they can be), so mods, feel free to delete/edit/whatever at your discretion if things get out of hand. That said, what are your favorite dirty jokes? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harleyguy Posted October 31, 2005 Report Share Posted October 31, 2005 "Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old man. "You always feel like you have to pee and most of the time you stand there and nothing comes out." "Ah, that's nothin," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy, you don't have a bowel movement any more. You take laxatives, eat bran, sit on the toilet all day and nothin' comes out!" "Actually," said the 80-year-old, "Eighty is the worst age of all." "Do you have trouble peeing, too?" asked the 60-year old. "No, not really I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock; no problem at all." "So, do you have a problem with your bowel movement?" "No, I have one every morning at 6:30." With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said, "Let me get this straight. You pee every morning at 6:00 and poop every morning at 6:30. So what's so bad about being 80?" "I don't wake up until 7:00. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wissy81 Posted October 31, 2005 Report Share Posted October 31, 2005 10 Halloween Phrases That Sound Dirty 10. She's a goblin! 9. I'd like to get a little something in the sack. 8. Let me see your bag.... Oh! You're having a great night! 7. Just get on your hands and knees, and bob your head. 6. She's got a couple of nice pumpkins on her porch. 5. If you just lick it, it'll last longer. 4. Show me your Jujubes and I'll let you see my Zagnuts. 3. Have your mom check it before you put it in your mouth... 2. You scared me stiff! 1. He's got Candy spread out on the living room floor! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wissy81 Posted October 31, 2005 Report Share Posted October 31, 2005 i got a really good dirty joke.....last thanksgiving we were sitting at the table eating and my 9 year old announces "you want to hear a dirty joke?" i was in shock and of course immediately yelled "NO" but she continued anyway to my horror. my 80+ year old catholic grandparents were sitting at the table. then she says "a pig played in the mud". i was very relieved and i did laugh ALOT but my grandparents saw no humor in it. ok maybe it was lame but i loved it here's the versions that makes me smile WANT TO HEAR A DIRTY JOKE , 2 PIGS JUMPED IN MUD. WANT TO HEAR A CLEAN JOKE, THEY TOOK A BATH :wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wissy81 Posted November 1, 2005 Report Share Posted November 1, 2005 fine i am a little drunkmaybe i did say it wrong You wrote nothing wrong I just added the clean one I've read :wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DJTX Posted November 1, 2005 Report Share Posted November 1, 2005 i got a really good dirty joke.....last thanksgiving we were sitting at the table eating and my 9 year old announces "you want to hear a dirty joke?" i was in shock and of course immediately yelled "NO" but she continued anyway to my horror. my 80+ year old catholic grandparents were sitting at the table. then she says "a pig played in the mud". i was very relieved and i did laugh ALOT but my grandparents saw no humor in it. ok maybe it was lame but i loved it here's the versions that makes me smile WANT TO HEAR A DIRTY JOKE , 2 PIGS JUMPED IN MUD. WANT TO HEAR A CLEAN JOKE, THEY TOOK A BATH :wink: That joke must get around quite a bit - in different variations. I always heard it as: Want to hear a dirty joke? A little boy fell into a mud puddle! Want to hear a clean joke? He took a bath! :roll: Anyway :twisted: Two guys were standing on a bridge over a river. Both had to pee so they unzipped pulled out their willie and started to pee into the river. One guy looks at the other and says: "damn, that water is cold". The other guy looks back and says: "yeah, and it's deep too" :roll: :wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i_love_som_tam Posted November 1, 2005 Report Share Posted November 1, 2005 A guy walks into a bar and orders 5 shots of Tequila. The bartender lines the up on the bar and the guy slams them down one after the other. The bartender looks at him inqusitively with a raised eye brow. The guy says " I just had my first blow job." "And now you're celebrating?" asks the bartender. The guy replies "NO. I'm trying to get the taste outta my mouth." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
biachung Posted November 3, 2005 Report Share Posted November 3, 2005 Another clean joke. Q: What's the difference between the pope and a woman in a bath? A: One has got hope in the soul, the other has soap in the... :shock: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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