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A Real Howler


primetime

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Read this on another forum about titled "Funny things you've heard said" Here are a few samples, but there are a million of these. Which one is your favorite.

Feel free to add your own.

1. After a long night clubbing a mixed group (thai/ farlang) sat down for an early breakfast, after the initial ordering and arrival of various foods and drinks one of the Thai guys with us announced, and I quote " There's nothing like a big cold cock in the morning."

After we all picked ourselves up from the floor, got the laughter under control and explained to him what he'd just said, he announced that from now on he'd be drinking pepsi.

2. Friend of mine discussed with his favorite waitress about the lunar years. Found out he and she where born under the same 'rooster'. (For sure different cycles)

Next time he walked in and said 'hello my hen'. Her reply absolutely serious, 'Hello my cock'

3. I once was trying to explain to a bar girl that most of my ex English girlfriends turned out to be sluts, she asked me to explain this word ''SLUT''. I told in simple terms it was a person the fu--ed as many people as possible no matter if they were married single. She thought about it for a while and proudly told me she was also a slut also.

4. My wife watching an advert for Siemens mobile phones in the UK..."Oh I like Siemen" Even the educated ones often drop the final "s"...

5. Had a note left on my desk asking to see a Thai member of staff. Thought I'd be a smart a*se and practice my limited Thai with her. Walked up to her desk and tried to say "did you want me?" in Thai I thought was "khun ow phom mai?"... She was in hysterics for five minutes, during which a crowd of more Thai staff had gathered around to see what was going on. When she came to her senses, she asked me to repeat it, so I did. Now the entire crowd was in hysterics. When they all came too, I asked them for the real translation of what I just said..."Do you want to f*ck me?"

6. On my first trip to thailand i was getting to grips with my first two thai sentences - i love you and thank you very much.

I went into the 7 11, and waited my turn in a line of about 5 - 6 thai girls to be served to fags, aftter paying and collecting my change i told the one of ugliest looking thai men i have ever see, that i loved him. I asked why all the girls were laughing to a girl behind me and she told me that the guy asked what hotel i was in. I wanted to die!!

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Read this on another forum about titled "Funny things you've heard said" Here are a few samples, but there are a million of these. Which one is your favorite.

Feel free to add your own.

1. After a long night clubbing a mixed group (thai/ farlang) sat down for an early breakfast, after the initial ordering and arrival of various foods and drinks one of the Thai guys with us announced, and I quote " There's nothing like a big cold cock in the morning."

After we all picked ourselves up from the floor, got the laughter under control and explained to him what he'd just said, he announced that from now on he'd be drinking pepsi.

2. Friend of mine discussed with his favorite waitress about the lunar years. Found out he and she where born under the same 'rooster'. (For sure different cycles)

Next time he walked in and said 'hello my hen'. Her reply absolutely serious, 'Hello my cock'

3. I once was trying to explain to a bar girl that most of my ex English girlfriends turned out to be sluts, she asked me to explain this word ''SLUT''. I told in simple terms it was a person the fu--ed as many people as possible no matter if they were married single. She thought about it for a while and proudly told me she was also a slut also.

4. My wife watching an advert for Siemens mobile phones in the UK..."Oh I like Siemen" Even the educated ones often drop the final "s"...

5. Had a note left on my desk asking to see a Thai member of staff. Thought I'd be a smart a*se and practice my limited Thai with her. Walked up to her desk and tried to say "did you want me?" in Thai I thought was "khun ow phom mai?"... She was in hysterics for five minutes, during which a crowd of more Thai staff had gathered around to see what was going on. When she came to her senses, she asked me to repeat it, so I did. Now the entire crowd was in hysterics. When they all came too, I asked them for the real translation of what I just said..."Do you want to f*ck me?"

6. On my first trip to thailand i was getting to grips with my first two thai sentences - i love you and thank you very much.

I went into the 7 11, and waited my turn in a line of about 5 - 6 thai girls to be served to fags, aftter paying and collecting my change i told the one of ugliest looking thai men i have ever see, that i loved him. I asked why all the girls were laughing to a girl behind me and she told me that the guy asked what hotel i was in. I wanted to die!!

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My daughter is i/2 Thai and 1/2 American and she was born in Korat. At the age of 3months old we moved to America. Unfortunately she does not speak Thai. However we were in a disco a few years ago and her nick name is Banana. She learned to say her name in Thai and was very proud.

Well, as usually happens to all of us when we get tipsy, so started talking. We were with several Thai friends and she blurted out nice to meet you My Name IS Quay. The laughter did not stop for several minutes.

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On Holloween this little boy was ticking n treating and the lady giving away the candy asked him;

"Oh, what a cute pirate, where are your buckineers, and the boy replyed under by buck'n hat"

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