So what so new about another day?

Lots.

especially for me.

So yes, haven't written in a while. apologies. I'm either busy, or the internet connection's a ***** (yes, i'm still using dialup). Okay so here's the rundown.

I begin the night by having a large, 10 course family dinner, Seafood Chinese style. We had shark's fin soup, something i disagree on, (but drink anyways - cause apparently they only use something like 4% of real shark's fin, and the rest is fake, jello strings)... i actually started out pretty full, had a large lunch and tea, but consoled myself that because i was going to go clubbing later, i'd burn the calories off.

and indeed i did! Nouvo (KL's best RnB den) was excellent. it was packed to the brink. Too bad i couldn't find my girlfriends until after midnight, but it didnt bother me that much..nor did it matter to the guy who was *trying* to grind on me from behind..

okay i'm sorry, its a very poor description of my New Years. Reason being, my mind isn't exactly on that topic right now. Its more on this guy i met at the party (remember? The dude who slipped me into the VIP lounge), well we've been meeting up a couple of times, and we talked a little (a lil more than a little ).....whether or not anything's going to develop, is still uncertain. He seems like a totally upfront, honest guy...hmm. Yes, i'm intruiged, yes, i like his persona, and the aura that he exudes. Yes, he has potential, and ... Yes, i still miss my ex. Or do i just miss the feeling of being with someone?

dilema dilema.

I'm afraid i'm on rebound. I'm also afraid i'm not. Playing it cool though, dont want to seem overly desperate here do we.

Why do we do that? why do we put up this front of not being totally upfront with someone, when deep down inside we're screaming our hearts out? Is it really the hardest thing, to show someone we're interested? I for one detest playing games, and yet at this moment i find myself holding back on calling him, just because he said he'll call me later. what a hypocrite~!@

wouldnt life simply be easier if we went up to the people we fancied, told them so, and await the results? But then again, i suppose when it comes to love (or lust)...things arent meant to be simple, and sometimes the more complicated it gets, the more we appreciate and treasure it. Besides. Little mind games are kinda fun.

Its all about our insecurities...everybody is afraid to make the first move for fear of being rejected. Moving slowly and cautiously is still the best way.