just some random thoughts with no real point

Recently I caught up with a high school friend who I hadn't talked with since shortly after high school. She was like in the top 5 academically and very silly person. Most people didn't know about the wild slutty side of her and I only knew because of a mutual friend from another high school who was one of her best friends and hung out with her alot.

I was surprised to find out she has a 12 yr old daughter and depsite her high academic achievements in high school she only obtained an AS in computer science and now has a 12 year old daugher and has been married about the same amount of time. It was really great to see someone my age making it past the 10 yr mark of marriage since statiscally they will remin married for over 25 years. I guess she was over an ocer achiever in what she put her mind to. lol It did however bring me back to things my mind keeps going over and over more and she brought up even....

When I do have a kid and they graduate high school I will be 50! Man It's crazy when I think about people I have seen doing some porn worthy things or drunken frat wrothy things having kids and being the ideal suburban parents! It's one thing I guess when you see people evolve but when it's suddenly sprung on you from nothing to 'oh yeah I've been married for 12 years my daughter is 12 also'...etc. It's pretty much a shock to the system! Then in the next sentence talking about how they used guys because... well they could!? WTF! Sometimes Just when things seem to be along fine life throws you a little curve to make you think ...hey maybe you should take a look at getting to those other ideas you had like starting a family and forget about what every one says about having fun, being single, etc. You don't have to be scared about bieng hurt or going through divorce, or dealing with racist family members (last serious gf family hated non taiwanese but lives here in the US).

I tell my friends that with big rewards come big risks and it's very true but it's hard to live. Some of my female friends say they feel like giving up and just getting pregnant and not telling the guy and then raising the baby alone. I wonder how many guys feels like just getting married to have a family, do men think of just adopting or hiring surrogates to have babies for them so they can have children with bothering with relationships also?

I've also been hearing from a lot of guys who have gotten involved with girls younger (and yes vice versa also)who still want children but they no longer do or they already have kids and no longer want anymore. I refuse to be one of those guys!!!! I am debating at what age if i have not had a kid to decide to not have them at all. I know the comments from Beej, loburt, zbh, and their ilk will say do it now and as always their contributions are always appreciated.

The best time to have kids is when you are ready. I will say this - my ex and I had our first child only a couple of years after we married - it was not really unplanned, but was still a surprise - and when I said that it was scary, my ex thought that I meant that I didnt want to have kids - not true at all - but for the first time to become a father is really a scary feeling - suddenly you have absolutely real responsibilities to another human - because you have created that life yourself. I now have three kids with my ex, and I love all three of them to bits. When Grezzzy and I have things ready, I am sure we will add to the family...another little sister or brother...will I feel nervous? Yes I am sure...not scared any more, but the responsibility that goes with having a child is very real and should not be taken lightly...you will be the focus of that little ones life for many years...and the one responsible forever... it's true ...in a parents eye, the child never grows up...

when my ex-wife thought she might be pregnant and I just sat down almost in shock and because she had been adamant about waiting until wewere 30 I asked what do you want to do. An all encompssing question as in stay in US, have them in Germany (where she grew up), in Thailand with the family (which I doubted because she hated the heat), actually wait, and she thought the same... it ment I just didn't want to have it. Which was of course the furthest thing from the truth. She of course expected a giant party or something lol.

My ilk says do it now.

You should NEVER be allowed to breed..... ever.