today ..actually right now still online with her. My friend told me she finally fell in love for the first time! I was incredibly happy for her because it was not just falling in love but dramatic change including this statement... Khom says: i alway believe that i can live alone without marry, but now i change all of my plan in my lifeKhom says:i took him to meet all of my family, aunts, sister and my nieces,  This from a woman who is still a virgin, almost 30, and a sucessful IT professional.  However her happiness and hearing this makes me feel more well many feelings.  Especially in this city of not only superficial people but where in the city you live can matter between one nice neightborhood vs another, what job you have, your degree becomes secondary sometimes to what school you went to even! I wonder can I make someone feel that way? She of course says it has nothing to do with his family or anything the reality is that it does even if she doesn't want to admit it. If he was not from good family they would not support him to go college, if they did not have money he would not have been able to go, he would not be going for masters, he would not have been able to go to thailand. Maybe my life has been to hard on me and at this point woman expect to much. So I wonder what chance is there for regular guys like me. My family sucks to the nth degree. The only person in my family I liked died so now at 32 almost 33 I have no wife, no kids, not even a gf, gig, or even a cat! lol I have some wonderful friends around the world. One of them helped to make sure I got home from Posh's lounge (as I wrote about in a previous journal). lol I however miss being in love and wonder the older I get can it happen? I refuse to be one of those old white guys who go to Thailand and find some young girl who either just wants a white guy or has some daddy issues! lol I feel like I keep ending up in the friends zone because I was raised around a great group of very loving gays and lesbians. So I'm more open then most guys and a lot of my female friends come to me for advice because of this.  Even if it's a friends with benefits or "gig" in thai and they love sex with me ... don't want to risk friendship over possible dating as bf/gf.  It's late and I'm rambling on and on so I guess someones happiness can make you sad or insecure afterall. However the bottom line is I'm at least happy my friend has found love since love is the most beautiful thing in the world.

get over it paul

there are millions of people who have had hard lives..am one of them..poor family, bad choices on my part, family i dont like or care for..plus am divorced, my kids are on the other side of the world...

some how i see the light always at the end of the tunnel things do get better...fight the good fight rather then go down in a pool of self pity which i think you are feeling right now...

theres a light at the end of the tunnel paul you just need to open your eyes to see it..

sorry was so blunt at the start but you asked for it,,

peace troy

You're only 32, a person doesn't choose something as important as love, it either comes your way or it doesn't.

I fell in love at 17, and not again until 63........the gigs that happen in between just come and go, until the true one comes along and you will know happiness........

trock69 - good comment

afook06 - 17 and 63 T_T cruel life. I can't wait till 63 lol

paul - for me it's believe you have to stick on it. Believe in love and live for it. It will come when it come. So don't sad for your life, you still got friends on the way before you meet the right one.

You will find the right girl for you very soon I hope ! And congratulation to your friend too !

32 is just a number , he he...

thanks for the verbal smack troy lol

5cm---ever see a hamster laugh...check out ebaums world they have video of it lol

X-glad to hear you talk this way better then how you were sounding the other night

Veesa... always the encouraging words