This morning, a former employer called me and asked if I could do them a favour...

They had a one-off English seminar for the Police and the teacher had rang in sick. ( I believe the teacher chickened out to tell you the truth.) The call was at 10.30am this morning and the seminar was at 1 pm.

Could I teach the session? So with no lesson plan or idea what to do, I agreed. This will be interesing!

On the way to the office, I scribbled together a lesson plan. What would the Police want to know?

Where I live is a district of Bangkok with hardly any foreigners and no spoken English of any sort by Bangkok's finest. So then, myself and my former boss were picked up in a Mecedes and taken to the local Cop Shop.

There was a room with about 40 police in and a microphone....FCUK!

I went for the basics.

INTRODUCTIONS.

Hello, can I help you Sir/ Madam?

I am officer .....

What country are you from? How old are you? Do you live here? Are you on holiday? Where are you staying?

Do you have your passport please?

DIRECTIONS.

Left, Right, Forward, Behind, Next to, In front of, Here, There, The corner of, stop.

Embassy, drug store, hospital, shopping mall, bus/train station, airport school, police station, sky train, hotel.

REPORTING A CRIME.

What happened please? TIME/DATE/WHO/ WHERE

Stolen Assaulted Rape Bag Money Ring Watch Necklace Bracelet Credit Card ATM card Traveller's cheque Camera Laptop Passport Tall Thin fat Short Hair eyes.

MAKING AN ARREST.

Come Here. You are under arrest. Hand cuffs, baton, gun.

Driver's permit/ licence/card Insurance motorcycle helmet

Have you been drinking/taking drugs?

And of course,Numerals...

100 200 300 and so on....they really enjoyed that bit....I wonder why?

All in all, it was a great opportunity for me to see a part of Thai life that usually you wouldn't see.

It was a great success and they have already asked if I can teach courses there...That I don't know, because it may lead to me being stopped going to work, and donate in a very nice, clear and concise, Engish accent...

My apologies if I missed anything you feel I should of taught...I had an hour to teach and a couple of hours notice.

In the end, we had photos and they presented me with a huge basket of fruit..They all approached me  and thanked me personally...

See, they're not all bad...

"Sir you are under arrest for being in possession of an unusually large nose and pale skin. There is an on-the-spot 500 baht fine to be paid."

"My apologies if I missed anything you feel I should of taught"

... the use of the word "have" perhaps ;-)

Neo, you are just being pedantic...comb right through it...spelling mistakes and grammatical errors in abundance, I'm sure...8-)