The first time I was in Bangkok, I was lost. This amazing city was quite easy but given my sense of direction, which was worthless, I could not simply 'follow' a street as I could in other cities. To get somewhere I had to know in advance where I was going. I was a stranger, and moreover as always, I found myself curiously reluctant to consult a map. For the first three days I was there, I walked around in circles. Bangkok was not big at the time, a city whose streets could be probably be memorized in ten days. And yet, even if I was lost, would it not have been possible for me to ask directions of some passerby? Theoretically, yes, but in fact, I was unable to bring myself to do so. It was not I was afraid of strangers, nor that I was physically reluctant to speak. More subtly I found myself hesitating to speak English to the Thai. I know a handful speak perfect English. Even more, I could easily ask directions from some 'local' farangs littering the city. This ease of communication, was upsetting to me, as if it would somehow rob this wonderful place of its foreignness. Not that I was seeking the exotic but in the sense that the place would no longer be itself - as if the Thai by speaking English, would be denied their Thainess. If I could had been sure that no one would understand me, I would not had hesitated to rush up to a stranger and speak English, in a comical effort to make myself understood: with words, gestures, grimaces, etc...As it was, I felt myself unwilling to violate the Thai people's Thainess. Therefore I held my tongue, wondered, walked around in circles, allowed myself to be lost. After awhile I was in Bangkok, I discovered, I would only be a few feet from my destination, but not knowing where to turn, would then went off in the wrong direction, therefore taking myself farther and farther away from where I thought I was going...Sometimes looking back, it occurs to me that perhaps I was wandering in the circles of hell, that this great city had been designed as a model of the underworld, based on some classical representation of the place. And if this is hell, and if hell is memory, then I realize that perhaps there are some purpose to my being lost. Cut off from everything familiar to me, unable to discover sometimes even a single point of reference, I see now that my steps, by taking me nowhere, were taking me nowhere but into myself. I was wondering inside myself, and I was lost. Far from troubling me, this state of lost became a source of happiness, of exhilaration especially during moments of confusion and great distress in Bangkok. And as if on the brink of some previously hidden knowledge, I breathed it into my very bones and said to myself, almost triumphantly: I am lost.

3 journals... 3 thumbs up... 3 for 3!!

Lost in translation -and possibly lost in comprehension :-)

GM: finally i get my 3 for 3

Goldmember: I am lost, as always!

yes

I too had trouble with my bearings last month on myfirst trip to Bangkok

-- my sense of direction has alway been the one sense I have had--and it was good,

so it felt strange to me, but for some reason i never really was troubled...

I think I sensed that anywhere the kindness of the people

around me could rescue me if need be... maybe angels on my shouders!??!

Best way to get to know a place, just dive in, get lost, see where your feet take your.

So true Neutron... My first day in BKK was a Sat. I walked out of my hotel on Suk Soi 18 made a left and walked for 5 hours... had no clue where I was. Just jumped into a taxi.. gave the cab the card to my hotel and he took me back.. of course he also took the very long way back and completely ripped me off.. but as it was my first time in BKK so I was clueless about it! LOL...