A life-long prisoner broke the jail he has lived for 25 years. During his escape, he went to a house while husband and wife who own the house were sleeping. He tied the wife up on a bed while the husband was tied with a chair down the floor.

In the dark, the husband saw the bad guy jumped up the bed and kissed his wife before leaving the room.

“My dear” The husband calls his wife, he says,

“The bastard must have not seen women for a long time, I guess, I saw him kissing you”, “Now! He may find something he wants.” “Dear, you must be patient and let the bad guy do what he wants to save your life, I will always love you!”

“Oh….honey, I am very appreciated for what you said.” The wife said with her impressive feeling toward her husband. She continues,

“You are right about he has not seen women for a long time but he didn’t kiss me.” Actually, he was whispering to me that you are very lovely and would be finding some vasaline.”

“Be strong, dear!”

“I will always love you.”enjoy ur weekend ^.^

I think you NEED something

Oooooooooo!

What does she need geee? I sent her a strap on and Vaseline....

gee- i think u need something 2.

digit- thx i love it ^.^

Jack was about to marry Jill and his father took him to one side.

"When I got married to your mother, the first thing I did when we got home was to take off my trousers. I gave them to your mother and told her to try them on, which she did. They were enormous on her and she said that she couldn't possibly wear them as they were too large. I said to her, 'of course they are too large for you. I wear the trousers in this family and I always will.' Ever since that day, we have never had a single problem."

Jack took his father's advice to heart and as soon as he got Jill alone after the wedding he did the same thing. He took off his trousers and handed them to Jill and told her to try them on. When she did she said, "I can't wear these, they're far too large for me."

"Exactly," Jack replied, "I wear the trousers in this family and I always will. I don't want you to ever forget that."

Then Jill took off her knickers and gave them to Jack. "Try these on, Jack," she said, so he tried them on but they were too small.

"I can't get into your knickers," said Jack.

So Jill replied "Exactly, and if you don't change your ******* attitude, you never will!"