CocoaBrotha Posted July 23, 2005 Report Share Posted July 23, 2005 Gift giving, at least in the Thai Tradition, revolves around the concept of Nam-Jai (spelling may be incorrect). Nam-Jai in farang terms means (in approximation), generosity. The concept Nam-Jai is one of the central themes in Thai culture. The Dowry and the idea of giving money to your girlfriend or wife's parents comes from this precept and is deeply embedded in the Thai psyche. If you don't take the time to understand Nam-Jai, you do so at your own peril. In the beginning, I found some of the requests irritating and I still do today, but in a different degree.I considered it showing-off and the funny thing, now that I understand Nam-Jai..... too a bit, is that it is showing-off! Now before any of you jump down my throat, It's not so much showing off, in fact, it's showing me off!. I still find all this face-saving-prestige-inspired stuff as mostly bullshit, but at least I am trying to understand it. On the other hand, when done properly, Nam-Jai works. The bottom line concerning gifts is this: any gift is a good gift, but the best gifts are those that show the highest degree of Nam-Jai. Giving money and/or gold are probably the highest on the list for the average Thai, but anything that gives the recipient a high degree of face will do. I still don?t like the whole concept too much because many Thai girls like to stir up jealousy and waaaaaaay too much envy by showing-off the things they receive from their boyfriend. It is similar to the farang way of showing wealth with expensive cars and/or clothes. You all know the saying, ?He who dies with the most toys wins?, right? In my opinion, ?he who dies with no regrets? is a much better slogan for success in life, but hey, that?s just me. I can tell you from my personal experience that since I?ve learned about Nam-Jai in a short time, I am still trying to suck it up and accept it for what it is. A word of caution is needed concerning Nam-Jai. Do not think that because you give a lady/boyfriend a gift that you are going to get something back in return. If you do this you are bound to be disappointed. Also, don?t be stupid and buy gold necklaces for a girl/BF until you have a good idea that she actually likes you. If you buy an expensive gift too early, a Thai lady will think you are an idiot and properly label you as a **** or a buffalo. Mr.DM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiamHotel Posted July 23, 2005 Report Share Posted July 23, 2005 hahaha bro!! http://web.utk.edu/~wratchuk/learningthai/feb27.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiamHotel Posted July 23, 2005 Report Share Posted July 23, 2005 and wh1le on thix... why don't you juzt mix DEEPAK's with the DALAI's {life'x} philosophy man?!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carlinho Posted July 23, 2005 Report Share Posted July 23, 2005 i just love the european thai forums...about 90% of the guys there are married with prostitutes (..this is either bgs or those who took the rather subtle path..the so-called "catalogue-chicks")..these guys truely believe that their monthly "donations" to her family are part of a traditional thai culture. what would life be without the big movies ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiamHotel Posted July 23, 2005 Report Share Posted July 23, 2005 about 90% of the guys there are married with prostitutes so... what about m3 Carlito's way??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiamHotel Posted July 23, 2005 Report Share Posted July 23, 2005 oooopx... minkia!.... xzorry, I f'got my eunuch's background na ja :wink: :!: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiamHotel Posted July 23, 2005 Report Share Posted July 23, 2005 nam jai is one of the most difficult words for foriegner to get iteven for thai people still hard :evil: hehe ROO MAAK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiamHotel Posted July 23, 2005 Report Share Posted July 23, 2005 mai dee na! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiamHotel Posted July 23, 2005 Report Share Posted July 23, 2005 8) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
primetime Posted July 23, 2005 Report Share Posted July 23, 2005 While we are talking about gifts are there any Thai holidays such as Christmas or Chinese New Year where gifts are commonly exchanged? What gift giving protocol needs to be followed? What are common gift giving mistakes? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiamHotel Posted July 23, 2005 Report Share Posted July 23, 2005 mai dee na! arai mai dee? nam-jai? #@!*$§*%!! * note 2 the end-[L]user* > FREE after the first 3,565 monthx....:twisted: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carlinho Posted July 24, 2005 Report Share Posted July 24, 2005 about 90% of the guys there are married with prostitutes so... what about m3 Carlito's way??? i am just the guy who introduced them to each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melasinsh Posted July 24, 2005 Report Share Posted July 24, 2005 i want to pay anything myself i want to work to make my own money i wanna be proud of myself *make money myself then use it* but...what if my husband doesnt want me to work? :roll: i'll tell him..... " if you dont want me to work but just want me to bring the kids up at home and do all houseworks,better you find a maid :evil: i'm your wife not your maid,i studied at uni for 3 years to be your maid? if my education is useless for your type of wife better not to get married with me till you change your thought... i study b/c i wanna work,make my own money,take care of my parents,etc. if anyone see this mesage,is there any guy want to marry me? am i too independent? :evil: but i cant change this stuff sorry... :evil: You don't want to study to work or make money. You should study to improve yourself. To become better educated which leads to your independence. There is absolutely nothing wrong with what you have written about wanting to work, not being a housewife/maid, etc... You do need to discuss this up front with any potential lover where things might develop into something serious. But it sounds like you have your priorities straight to me and if I was 20 years younger I would PM you. I was talking to a friend of mine tonight, she teaches Thai to Thai and a few foreigners (not necessarily farangs) at a private school in BKK. She gave me really different meanings for "kreng jai" and "nam jai." Best wishes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
germanwulf Posted July 24, 2005 Report Share Posted July 24, 2005 A description of 'Nam Jai' is normaly not related with gifts or money. It's free translation means heart - water and means good heart. Absolute the same stuff in a farangland. You can show it easely ( and without any cost ) when someone need your mental support, visiting friends at the hospital, handon help, or just care someone feelings. Support with money or a gift is a modern institution and only happens when a farang meet a Thai women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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