farangnbkk Posted February 14, 2005 Report Share Posted February 14, 2005 If life is a bowl of cherries, what am I doing in the cesspit. Okay, so my friend (a cute thai girl) is over my house on Saturday. We do some work, waste some time and joke around. She's off to the bathroom several times (I'm wondering if she's got a problem), and then we head out. Have a great time, I get home to get dragged back out by another friend. I stumble home. Finally get to sleep at 6:30am on Sunday. I get calls at 8:30am and at 9:30am. GAHHHH Can't anyone SLEEP. Okay, I take a wee wee. Crap. She STUFFED my TOILET!!!! How can a little cute Thai girl do a NUMBER on my toilet!!! I gotta take bigger craps than her, don't I? Okay, I can deal with it later. Back to sleep. Today's Monday. I haven't felt the urge, but I know it's gotta come. You know, the old number 2. There's nothing in the world like doing number 2 in your own place. Even if it's a crappy place (pun intended). Okay, it's Monday, NOTHING has worked. Warm water, cold water, and DRANO. Nothing is working. Stuffed as stuff can be. Just WHAT did she do? Okay, so here it is, Valentines day, and I'm hunting for a toilet bowl plunger. I'm looking in Lotus, Carrefoure and HomePro. I'm trekking all over Bangkok for a decent plunger. I'm actually looking for one of those industrial looking ones where the bell on the end is about 8 inches long and 5 inches in diameter. Some heavy duty gear. Had a model in the States that I fell in love with. How romantic is this? Looking for a plunger on Valentine's day. In any case, that's not the plunger on sale here. I can only find the cheapest weakest type of plungers here. No snakes for sale either that I can see. So what gives? Do Thais sh!t in such little itsy bits that they don't need good plungers? Ever (except for my friend)? Central is marginally better in this department but still no super duper clog remover plungers. And what do I say to my friend? If this was back in the States I'd rib her endlessly, ruthlessly, I wouldn't stop until she got something bad on me to blackmail me with!!! Would I offend her "Thai" sensibilities if I brought this up in conversation? Would she, oooh, dare I say it, lose FACE!!!!! Maybe I'll just send her a card saying, "I know what you did to my poor defenseless toilet, but I'm not going to say anything." type of card. Oh what a quandary. Farangbkk, reporting to you live, in the sh!tter! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
biachung Posted February 14, 2005 Report Share Posted February 14, 2005 **** happens!...no pun intended Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farangnbkk Posted February 14, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2005 Got back from dinner a little bit ago to turn on the TV to the Grammy's. Melissa Etheridge was awesome!!!!!! Bald and All. So vivacious. Okay, enough of Grammy's, this is about Thailand. The local "number" (well in my case, they aren't numbered) hotels had the lights on and the red lanterns out. Doing a brisk trade it seems! Valentines is alive. Totally unrelated, I got a cheap plunger Was nice to see all the regular couples but there seems to be some discourse as well as love in the air. The Grandmother of one of my local restaurants took a cleaver to her son (fortunately she was stopped). On the positive side, the woman who cooks Pad Thai had to convert one of the water buckets into a flower bucket because she was receiving SOOOO many flowers. Was pretty cute to see as she clearly didn't know how to handle all the attention. So very cute. The now, unclogged, farangnbkk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OutOfOrder Posted February 18, 2005 Report Share Posted February 18, 2005 well - to be fair - u can't just blame the girl u know! it could be your toilet that sucks ((well, in this case 'didn't suck'))...!!! Right? Come on - whose $%@# would be THAT hard to flush??? unless if u got something stuck in there at the first place, eg: condoms...etc etc.... <<(random example!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farangnbkk Posted February 20, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 20, 2005 have you thought of making this thread in form of journal instead? Cause I'm a dumb **** Look, all I've got is toilet humour. I really don't have thoughts. If I did, I might make this a journal entry Been a veddy veddy busy weekend. Friday was a long night out. The rest was filled with writing array formulas to kicking some serious butt in bridge. Oh, and one more thing: what else? shoveling ****. Okay, with the **** I shoveled I'm attempting to save my dead plant. Here's the finished product. Actually, this picture is a very good picture of the plant. It looks like it actually has some green. It doesn't. It's all putrid reds and yucky yellow and the ever too present brown. Personally I think it's dead. But I bought soil, repotted the plant about six hours ago so we'll see. Now I've got 4 plants and one weed (not THAT kind). Maybe I'll take pictures of all my plants and post them tomorrow. Oh, my toilet does suck. Maybe I'll post a picture of that tomorrow too!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farangnbkk Posted April 26, 2005 Author Report Share Posted April 26, 2005 People are eager to know how my plant is doing. I've been fielding phone calls, sms, and emails non-stop for literally months. Well it's been two months and what do we have? Pathetic looking huh? Well, least my toilet is in fine working order!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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