Behind every successful woman, there is  a satisfied man.But behind a satisfied woman, there is usually an exhausted  man. Why was the two piece swimsuit  invented?To separate the HAIRY section from the DAIRY  section. Woman complaining to dentist: "It's  so painful, I'll rather have a baby than have a tooth removed. Dentist: "Make  up your mind soon, I'll adjust the chair accordingly. Old lady, 85, a virgin, about to  die. wanted her tombstone to read :BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A  VIRGIN.The engraver shortened it to: " RETURNED UNOPENED " A kid asked the priest " Father, what is your  pastime? "The priest tapped the kid's shoulder and replied  "Nun" ,my Child, ~ None 75 yr old man got married to a 15  yr girl. On their first night both were crying - Why?Reason - Because she  didn't know anything, and he had forgotten everything..! ................................................................................................................................   Voted Best Joke in Ireland 2006

 John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life!,

 between the legs of me wife!"

 That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

 He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of

 the night" She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?" John said,

 "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."

 "Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.

 The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street

 corner.

 The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at

 the pub with a toast about you, Mary." She said,  "Aye, he told me, and I

 was a bit surprised myself.  You know, he's only been there twice in the

 last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him

 by the ears to make him come."

2 laughs 2 you, hehehehieeee....!

haahaa i hear you lagh ^^

Papa, you safe me from terribel headache!!

LOL!

hehehe G! from GG...lol

Good jokes! :-)