I wasn't going to do another journal today, but on reading Cow-ard by farangfarang I was reminded of this story.

Some years ago, when I was working for a TV production company in Brisbane, we were commissioned to make a series of promotional documentaries for the Queensland Department of Education.

These would focus on some of the degree courses on offer. The one I particulary remember was about the veterinary sciences.

I was TD (Technical Director) on the shoot, and we went to a number of schools and off-campus locations to shoot interviews with veterinarians. It occurred to me that there seemed to be far too many interviews where the interviewee (the veterinarian) was standing at the "business end" of a large animal, usually buried up to his shoulder in the beasts back passage...or to put it more conventionally...he had his arm up its arse!

Several times in mid-interview, we were asked to "stand back", whereupon the vet would jump out of the way and there would be a torrent of something rather nasty gush out...yuck!

The last interview was the one that left me laughing...we arrived at a property where a number of students were being taught how to collect semen from a bull.

They had a young bull held in a "crush" (like a large very strong toaster rack that can be closed in to stop the animal from moving).

The vet picked up a thing that looked a bit like a model rocket, or a large dildo, that was smooth, but had metal rings embedded in its surface every inch or so. The vet lubriucated the rocket shaped device and went behind the bull. I was at the other end, and would not have thought a bull could register surprise, but it made a sort of shocked "Urgh...", and its eyes widened as the vet shoved the object up the bulls backside...

It was connected by a cable to a box that had two large knobs, and the vet then proceeded to rhythmically turn the knobs up and down, explaining that the metal rings carried a small electrical charge into the inside of the bull and the movement of the knobs resulted in a pulsating muscle spasm that eventually made the bull ejaculate into a glass beaker held under it's penis by one of the students....

The "expression" on the bull was priceless, but the thing that made me wonder was the vets parting comment to the mixed group..."After lunch we'll come back and you can learn how to collect semen manually."

The female students seemed a little concerned....

In your next episode, can you cover chickens and snakes?

Aow...damn..! I was studying up on Siamese Fighting Fish... blast!

No Bulls**t there greer!!!

Disclaimer: No Bulls were hurt in the filming of this show.