I have been feeling “unlike myself” ever since my BD on July 21.

Been having a mood swing without being in a RED WAR. (Women’s war only)

Luckily I’ve only turned 29 and not 59 or else I would think I hit that “Golden age” thingy! Perhaps…I hit it early than I should? Ugh…hope not.

Have you ever had those days when you feel everything is NOT right?

One of those “Out of luck” day....

Woke up late coz your alarm clock ran out of battery.

Ran into the shower and found the water is not running.

Went to get the shoes by the door and saw your dog chewing it.

Got in office and found out there’s no internet coz server was down.

Got so down and depressed then someone called and end up they called wrong number.

Got some sms, hoping they r from some friends but all you got was some advertisement crap…..etc.

Well…these didn’t happen to me today but sure did happen to me .

What I’m trying to share is that lately, recently I have been feeling like I’m out of luck for many reasons.

Then today I talked with someone and she asked me to think of the good things in life hiding somewhere around me. Good little things that happened in those bad days that might make me smile just thinking about it.

I mean... I know this is a good way to look at it and cheer myself up. But sometimes we need someone to tell us what we have already known. We need to hear those we love support us, show us they care and all. We like to feel we are still mean something to someone who means to us.

After I talked to this “someone” who has become one of my best friends. Who seems to stick around no matter how busy she could be with her own life. She reminded me to think of the good things. And she was right! In those bad days of mine…there’re still some good parts in them. There’re still some meaningful moments.

I’m here sitting, focusing on what are the good things that have happened to me lately. And 1^st thing came up on my mind is that I’m happy to be born and alive. Thinking this reminds me of one of my favorite quote ….

“If sometimes you feel yourself little, useless, offended and depressed,

always remember that you were once the fastest and most victorious sperm

out of hundreds of millions" LOL

Well…damn I smiled already hoho

The next good thing happened is that someone from a far away land who I didn’t get to talk to much anymore remembered my BD and sent sms from Spain while he was traveling, getting out of the plane and sent me sms to wish me HBD! It might sound like a little deal to someone but It mean a lot to me and It sure made me smile and will always bring a smile to my face thinking about it.

Also I got a letter from my 1^st ex’s grandparents who still write me every now and then and remember my BD for every year ever since I broke up with my ex. Imagine 80 years old people spent times writing someone who they have never met in real is quite special, right? Even though I have never heard about my ex for a long time now as his grandparents never mentioned him on the letters and I never asked about him, I’m still happy Nana and Gramps love me. Gotta thanks Trevor for he was once made his grandparents loved me and still do! Being able to keep in touch with them is such a beautiful thing to me. They did mention on their last letter though that they will have a family reunion in Aug. I think I will finally speak up and ask how everyone is doing (including Trevor).Might share with you all if the story is fun enough to share haha.

My friend was right! Now I can really come up with many good stories. Lots of good things that happened or good things I got right here with me. But I won’t bore you guys to death with all the stories as this is getting too long already.

There are a lot of things I can think of and make me smile really. Even though something, some moments have happened and ended.I can still smile just thinking about it.

One last thing on this journal though, I’m happy I’m alive and be able to explore the world. It can be beautiful world, shitty world, f**ked up world and so on but I’m still happy I’m here having many good friends and family who love me and proud of who I am.

Have a nice new week everyone and Thanks a lot if you manage to read it from the top to the bottom

Smily

PS. Special thanks to that someone "Aom" for the poke you gave me to get the good, witty, positive, funny Smily back in action!

Colorful day or cloudy day...I will try to smile everyday

awwwwwwwwwwww i told you that don't say my name >.<"

Oi : Thanks ja. Wish you a nice new week too na

Aom : You really thought I would follow your command? You know me better than that mate! I'm stubborn!

for now and forever if you say and mean it "Oh, i have a bad day" I will kick your ass

Hahaha @ Aom. But we can't have always a good day, u know that! Oh well...I will just NOT say it to you then when I have a bad day

change the way you think and say "at least"

And u call this "uneventful" day, oh boy, I would not like to see what happens when u have a GOOD day! :-O

When you have a bad day, one feels like the *only* person in the world having a bad day...the truth is, of course, it happens to all of us....some ppl even have a bad day *every day* :-P

So, Smily, it's all a matter of perspective :-)

be positive, no matter what happen ;-)

always make the best of any situation sis , i know you can do that

Every day like that at least provides for a good story when you can finally laugh about it.

Yes, and I love you too.. i mean p'nudie, not admin