I too was an immigrant when I was young and I've moved around so much over my life that it's hard to say where I'm from and what is my 'real' culture'. I've had to figure that out and just get on with it, get up every day and just give each day my best shot. I've never carried this as any badge of sympathy. Rather, i see it as a personal blessing and constant advantage.

Regarding comments and criticisms specifically, this of course is entirely relative to the environment you choose to be in at the time. For example, if you really need some nice, kind and soothing words, you wouldn't really go looking for them in your local working class pub when the football finals are on. If you are only prepared for nice words, try your local church or geriatric centre.

In the same way, it doesn't take much trouble to look though past forums here in TF to get an idea of the type of characters who are regular posters in forums. They seem to be a very varied bunch in attitudes, intelligence, nationalities, backgrounds and ethos. Some are downright rude, some are kind or witty. Some are extremely intelligent and some are plain, boring dumbf*cks. A very mixed bag of souls you might say.

From where I come from, when someone stands a sobs and whinges (particularly a guy) because someone spoke badly to them, swore, or pulled a dirty trick on them, they will usually be met with more of the same ridicule. I'm not saying this is wrong or right, but it is they way it usually goes. That's life.

You would do yourself a big favour by not looking at yourself so much in the mirror, and being so introspective, and looking out into the world of infinate variety around you. Picking fluff out of your navel wont really achieve very much.

It really aint that bad, depending on how you choose to see it.

Especially if you just have a good laugh at it (and laugh at yourself too).

u r a **** .... trust me on this one !!!

CiaranM : LOLLLLLLLLLLLL

AT LEAST I HAVE HAIR ON MY HEAD

CiaranM : BTW did you read the forum yesterday about comments on people working in FACTORIES........... Go check it out....its about people like you

PeeMarc - nope...sorry...completely wrong...

Picking fluff out of your navel always achieves the same result...a fluffless navel...!

Sounds like Marc grew up travelling as did my brother and I...a few years here, a few there, I have no way to relate to people who can remember their 2nd grade teachers name and the little boy or girl who sat near them...

This kind of lifestyle gave me a failry tough exterior (OK don't beat me up about the Delhi Update journal)...and sometimes life is just that way...you get on with it, and don't worry about the things people call you...

There will always be those who can't see beyond the folds of their arse cheeks, and there are others who will just be real...the false bravado acts just gives me the sh*ts...(see my response to R.Win's Dangerous places journal).

If the criticism hurts because it is accurate, then maybe do something about it if you can...if you can't, or it's not accurate or real...ignore the one criticising...they have already shown their ignorance.

It's your own life...get on with it as you see fit...you only get one!

Greer

KingLing, I will just add one more insight here and share with you something I learnt in design school which has stayed with me ever since. I also include this in lectures and workshops I do from time to time.

One of the hardest things to overcome in any creative school or forum is criticism - constructive or not. Perhaps this is why it tends to be called "critiques" in a rather pretentious, wanky sort of way, in the hope of people feeling somehow differently about it.

There comes a time when one has to put their work (creation, design or idea) on the wall, with everyone elses. The whole class can see. The one by one, every single piece is criticised, discussed, pulled apart, praised, questioned, examined or shitted on. To a young kid like me in design school, this was a profoundly difficult experience, especially the first time. And I guess it is for any one. Writers have to go through the same thing too.

When you have an idea, or a thought or anything which exposes something about yourself, its as though there is part of you stuck up on that wall for all to see.

I grew to understand, over many years, the real importance of criticism (even uncalled for and negative ones) and the shere and profound value it can have. But only if you choose to use it this way, for all of its positive worth.

I think posting something on a journal or forum is much the same. Especially if it is something that is really important to you. You have some emotional attachment to it. This is very natural.

The very act of sticking something on the wall, or posting it in public on the internet is asking all and sundry to say anything they want about it. Afterall, you put it there. They didnt ask you to do that. And it IS everyones right to say what they wish, however they wish. This is the internet and I don't need to tell you that.

But, it's what you choose to do with these comments which will determine if its a good experience for you or not. Afterall, the commentors are not responsible for you or how you react or how you deal with it or what you use those comments for.

You are.

one rambling was enough, so i didn't read any of peemark's comments...

kingling...stop ******* whining! I mean...having afook as buddy is one thing...but all this whining is ******* annoying! really...what's the story...were you an ugly school kid that never got asked to dance or something? you wonder about negative comments, but you continue to beg for 'em!

a piece of advice: GROW A PAIR AND GROW UP!