Knowing when to stay and when to walk away

by Lisa Weseman Published: 08/30/2006

Love is such a powerful thing, it can convince you that there's a way to "be" with someone without

actually being in the same place as them. If you're considering such a relationship, take a long, hard

look at the good and bad aspects of long-distance love.

Good: Absence makes the heart grow fonder

Bad: Absence makes the libido wander

It's the oldest clich? in the book: the more time you spend apart, the more you'll miss and appreciate

each other. To a certain extent it's true. Being separated from the person you love really does make

you realize how much you like being around him. But the dark side of that is the loneliness that comes

with it. As strange as it may seem, a lot of people use missing their partners as an excuse to find physical

comfort in the arms of someone else.

If you want to make a go of long-distance love, you have to honestly evaluate whether it's a reasonable

expectation for you and your partner to stay faithful. If you both want to stay monogamous, you must both

really commit to it. That also means you'll promise to communicate the need for other sexual relationships

if things change over the long-distance period.

Good: Your life is all your own

Bad: Your life is all alone

In some ways, being in a long-distance relationship is perfect for the independent spirit. You get the security

of being in love without having to really share your life. You're on your own to make decisions about everything

from what to eat for dinner to where to live.

But in some ways, being in a long-distance relationship is the worst of both worlds. You don't enjoy the

benefits of being single, yet you don't get any of the perks of being coupled. You can't experience the

excitement of going out and flirting with new people, yet you don't have the comfort of cuddling up with

the same person every night.

In order to make your long-distance relationship work, you've got carve out separate lives. Just because

your honey's not around doesn't mean you can't have fun. Don't just wait by the phone -- go out with friends

or treat yourself to a solo date. Long-distance love will work only if it's one element of an otherwise full, happy life.

Good: You want a future together

Bad: You want a present together

If you decide you're up for the challenge of long-distance love, it's only because you care for your partner

and don't want to risk losing him. You're clearly committed to making the relationship work for the long-term

because you want a future together.

But if you love your partner that much, you probably want more than a future -- you want a present together!

Love is about big things like feelings and commitment, but it's also about little things, like sharing meals and

cuddling on the couch.

If you decide to try a long-distance relationship, know you'll be giving those things up. But if the possibility of

a future together is enough to make you happy, long-distance love just might be worth the sacrifice... only you

can tell.

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good article.

yeah! easy to get rid of the other person when u don't want to see him/her lmao

( just kidding yall )

hmmm...interesting ja and congrats na.

No such thing as a long distance relationship... just a good imagination.

Something that's always intrigued me in my line of business which is export labour, is that of all the thousands of workers we send abroad to work on contracts usually for a period of two years or more there are very few breakups of relationships.

The workers leave their loved ones behind to seek their fortune abroad to transfer their earnings back to their families and loved ones and because they want to work as many hours as possible, for the most part there is not much in the way of exposure to wo/manizing in the countries where they work because most of their time is spent on site which mostly involves a lot of drinking or gambling and usually if there is a problem it's the person left at home that goes astray.

I guess maybe a lot depends on how much temptation is looming to the relevant parties left alone in a long distance relationship.

Never the less it still impresses me how small the ratio of relationship problems actually occurs considering the numbers involved.

From my very own theory !!!

Bad : We don't get to see each other, phone calls are always expensive .

Good : ( for him ) I dont have to throw a phone at him when I'm angry !!

Enough said !!

Life is passing/impermanent... Gotta go for the gusto!