football teams = movie stars

[zeusbheld]

i was thinking about Man City's Toxic Implosion... and it occurred to me that if they were a movie star, they'd have to be James Dean. so promising, yet always inevitably destined to die in a big fireball.

Ajax as i've mentioned already on another thread, are Sunset Boulevard-era Gloria Swanson.

Arsenal are William Shatner. No, that's a compliment really. once-boring, workmanlike and painful to watch (TJ Hooker??? ugh). Now a stylish post-modern icon (Denny Crane! and that record with Ben Folds).

Liverpool are Brando. once spectacular, then* fat, lazy, erratic and more than a little insane.

ManUre are, of course, Rock Hudson. good looking, adored by people who don't even understand why, and utterly, irreverisbly gay.

alright then... you come up with some.

*i was going to say "now," but Brando's dead.

[zeusbheld]

Man United = Arnold Schwarzenegger (Beats you in your head before you step into the ring. Predictably wooden with occasional flashes of inspiration.)

can't be. by most accounts, arnold isn't gay. although, he DOES cry like a schoolgirl when things don't go his way, a very united-like trait.

Arsenal = Best supporting actor (Always a bridesmaid rarely a bride.)

copout! besides they had a good run and some kitchenware a few years ago.

Man City = Sly Stallone (Looks like real meat, but can't measure up to Arnie.)

ugly enough, but not self destructive enough.

Chelsea = The cast from Fame (Or Vinnie Jones wannabees.)

maybe something like the cast of the 'star wars' prequels. some notable talent, but they're in it for the money.

Liverpool = Ocean's Eleven. (The team that was almost great. But not quite.)

good call. like liverpool, the original was better.

(The vote options seem a tad limited.)

i realize it's not perfect.

i would have left off the beer option, but TF won't let you create a poll with just one option.

[zeusbheld]

actually, AC Milan would be a good Stallone: used to be a badass but a little too long in the tooth to be taken seriously as full-time action heroes.

Real Madrid can be Tom Cruise: yeah, you're hot ****. but you're still a scientologist (and more than a little bit nuts).

[zeusbheld]

And you wonder why no one replies...

Sheesh.

"Hey, what do you think?"

"Hmm I think this."

"F*ck off. Your opinion is sh*te."

"You asked for it."

"No I didn't, I merely alluded to asking in order to lure you in."

"Ahhh..."

(And it ain't even my sport.)

typical ManUre fan, whining like life itself has it in for 'em.