>>Late last Saturday night; a young chap was walking home from a club. It
>> was
>>a cold, wet, windy evening, and he was tired and freezing. Most of the
>>streetlights in the area were broken, and the silence was only
>>
>>broken by the occasional sound of a stray cat sifting through a dustbin.
>>Then suddenly he heard a strange noise.......
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>BUMP........
>>
>>
>>
>
TO MY DEAR WIFE:
During the past year I have tried to make love to
you 365 times.
I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of
once every ten days.
The following is a list of why I did not succeed
more often:
54 times the sheets were clean
17 times it was too late
49 times you were too tired
20 times it was too hot
15 times you pretended to be asleep
22 times you had a headache
17 times you were afraid of waking the baby
16 times you said you were t
1) NOT KISSING FIRST.
Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the
erogenous zones makes her
feel like you're paying by the hour and trying to
get your money's worth by
cutting out nonessentials. A proper passionate kiss
is the
Ultimate form of foreplay.
2) BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR.
Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love
this. Well, there's a
difference between being erotic and blowing as if
you're trying to
extinguish the candles on your 50th
linford christie goes into a golf club
the man on the door, rather embarassed, says
'i'm sorry we don't allow black people here, but there is another club 10 minutes down the road that does'
linford says
'don't you know who i am, i'm linford christie'
the man says 'oh right, it's only 5 minutes then
