For anyone in a relationship who sometimes finds it hard to get a night out without your partner, feel free to use these handy forms...  

APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS

 

Name of boyfriend/husband/fiance...................................

 

I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest authority in my life for the following period;

 

Date................        Time of Departure....................     Time of Return (not to exceed)..............

 

Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit the locations stated below, and at the stated times. I agree to refrain from hitting on or flirting with other women. I shall not even speak to another female, except as expressly permitted in writing below. I will not tun off my mobile phone after 2 pints, nor shall I consume above the allowed volume of alcohol without first phoning for a taxi AND calling you for a verbal waiver of said alcohol allowance. I understand that even if permission is granted to go out, my girlfriend/fiance/wife retains the right to be pissed off with me the following week for no valid reason whatsoever.

 

Amount of alcohol allowed (units)   Beer......  Wine......  Spirits....... Total........

 

Locations to ve visited;

 

Location 1 ......................   From..............   to ...................

 Location 2.......................   From................ to.....................

Location 3.........................  From................ to....................

 

(any more than 3 locations must be negotiated)

 

Females with whom conversation is permitted.................................................................

 

IMPORTANT - STRIPPER CLAUSE: Not withstanding the female contact permitted above, I promise to refrain from coming within one hundred (100) feet of a stripper or exotic dancer. Violation of this clause may result in immediate termination of relationship or withholding of sex for a to be determined period.

 

I acknowledge my position in life. I know who wears the trousers in our relationship, and I agree it's not me. I promise to abide by your rules and regulations. I also understand that this is going to cost me a fortune in flowers and choclolates. You reserve the right to obtain and use my credit cards whenever you wish to do so. I hereby also promise to take you on an unlimited shopping spreee should I not return home by the alloted time. On my way home I will not pick a fight with any stranger, wear a traffic cone on my head, nor display my naked buttocks at passing cars. On my return home I also promise not to urinate anywhere other than the toilet. In addition, I wil refrain from waking you up, breathing my vile breath in your face, or attempting to interest you in sex.

 

 

I declare that to the best of my knowledge (of which I have none compared to my better half), the above information is correct.

 

Signed - Boyfriend/fiance/husband....................................

 

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Request is APPROVED/DENIED  (delete as appropriate)

 

This decision is non negotiable and if approved, this slip must be carried with you at al times.

 

Permission for boyfriend/fiance/husband to be away on;

 

Date..............   From...................  To..................

 

Signed - Girlfiend/fiance/wife..........................................

 

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APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE GIRLS

 

Name of Girlfriend/fiance/wife........................................................

 

I'm going out......

 

 

Signed...................................................................................

 

This needs to be translated in Thai with a map to all locations. Every page must be signed.

lmao..................55555555555555555.... where you get that form from??? hahaha... i have to copy and give to my bf..lol....

Hahahahahaha love it!