This post is inspired by Rob's and is also about adjusting life back in America but with the added twist of coming back to Thailand for holiday.

I don't think I had the problems adjusting that Rob did. We've probably been out of the US for the same amount of time but his time was here in Thailand and I spent about half of the time in Europe before coming to Thailand. I sort of got used to a nomadic existence. Never owning more than I could pack in some suitcases and be off to somewhere else in the world.

Also, the CEO of the company I'm working for is my old boss when I was working in Gibraltar so there's a little less culture shock. Oh, and two other employees in the company are people I worked with in Gibraltar too. In fact, one was my employee. And I've recruited two people from the company I worked for before I went to Gibraltar so I sort of landed into a comfortable group of people I've known for a long time and know that we work well together.

On top of all of that, the company I'm working for is owned by the company I worked for in Gibraltar so many of the people I end up dealing with from the parent company are people I've worked closely with in the past. It's funny because many of the people working at my company have never met the people back in Gibraltar and they sort of have a fear of them like they're the big bad parent company that you don't want to piss off.

For me, I know all of them well. When I need something I don't need to go through some internal request channel I just call the people back in Gib who handle this or that and everything gets handled.

For instance, the parent company has always had very strict computing standards. Access to install programs on your computer is limited to just a few people but I was one of those people when I worked back in Gibraltar. When I got to California I needed to install a bunch of applications and our IT guy said there's no way since it's corporate policy from the parent company and he can't override them.

So I got on the phone with one of the IT guys I know who comes to Thailand on holiday quite often and we had about a 20 minute conversation about what it was like living in Thailand and then I asked him about this restriction on installing software and he said, "Ahh, let me shoot your IT guy over a message telling him it's okay for you to have admin access." Boom. Taken care of. :-)

It didn't hurt that I was very busy at the new job and starting a new life. Finding an apartment, buying a car, buying furniture for the apartment, utilities, blah, blah, blah. I landed on a Sunday night and went to work on Monday. It felt like I was running, running, running non-stop for the first two months.

Ked and I were able to stay in touch quite well while she waited for her visa. We spoke at least twice a day and texted. It was hard on both of us being apart but when one of us would start to get impatient or frustrated with the process the other would be there to give support.

On the day of Ked's interview I was 101% sure she would sail through with no problems. It was like a kick in the balls when she called me and told me they had turned her away and told her the paperwork wasn't complete. Part of the feeling was because she was so upset she didn't remember exactly what they told her so I had no idea what we needed. Eventually we both calmed down and we figured things out and I stayed up all night preparing the extra paperwork which I emailed to her that evening and she went back the next day and they gave her the visa.

It was sort of a bullshit thing they pulled at the embassy. I had to prove I wasn't living in Thailand anymore. There were several documents in the packs that we had sent them that should have served as proof but for whatever reason they couldn't put two and two together. They also wanted proof of the "ongoing nature of our relationship" so I pulled every phone bill from when I had returned which listed all of the calls and all of the sms messages. Just that packet of information was about 70 pages.

Coming back to Thailand has left me with mixed feelings. I love seeing everyone again. I love seeing my old stomping grounds and seeing what has changed and what has stayed the same.

But at the same time, with the flood, the last elections, trying to bring Thaksin back, etc, I also feel as if Thailand, as a nation, is spiraling into an abyss. In Rob's post he talked about how the Thai way is to just do nothing and hope things get better. I don't think he's right on that. They do nothing because there is nothing they can do.

And that's the part where I feel like giving up on Thailand as well. Not in terms of never coming back here or anything like that. I just mean, not giving a shit about what happens here. You can't change anything.

I miss the people. I miss some parts of the lifestyle of living here. But I don't miss all of Thailand's problems. I don't miss the general retardedness like a hotel that turns off all of the hallway lights after midnight so that the only light on the floor is the lighted ring around the elevator button. Who does that? You can't even see the room numbers.

This trip back just reminded me of all of the stuff I forgot I hated about Bangkok. Stuff I had gotten so used to living here that when I left it didn't even bother me anymore. But coming back, it does bother me. Trying to walk down Sukhumvit dodging guys pushing soapy massage pamphlets in my face, hawkers, beggars, cops having lunch with a guy selling vibrators and viagra, the fake survey takers, the tailor shop guys, the tuk tuk drivers offering 1 hour for 10 baht, almost breaking an ankle on the same sidewalk that has been in disrepair for the last 6 or 7 years, etc, etc, etc, etc.

I had forgotten how much I hated that shit. When I was living here it just sort of became normal. But when you go back home and then come back it hits you just how screwed up some things are.

I know that all sounds negative but I'm not feeling negative. I'm just reflecting on some things I've realized about Bangkok and Thailand. This will be the first time in all of the years I've been coming here I won't be planning my next trip here as soon as I get home. We'll come back a few times a year to see friends and family but there just isn't that same level of excitement like I need to get back here as soon as possible.

I think part of that is because it feels like we're starting a new life which is probably because we are starting a new life together. :-)

I want to take Ked to Las Vegas in December (and she's salivating at the thought of hitting the slot machines). My dad wants us to come visit him at his beach condo in Florida after the new year. Man, the list just goes on and on. In fact, we literally have a list written of things we want to do and see.

And maybe in a few years we'll end up living back in Thailand. You never know.

Great journal Bill. A really interesting read on how you and Rob feel since leaving.

Saying that....pipe down and get your ass to Gullivers. ;-)

A great read indeed. Interesting that we both feel the same way in terms of not really missing Thailand the way we had before.

One thing that you reminded me of is just talking to people in the service/retail industry that really want to help (and have the intelligence to help). In the states, things get done...most things are efficient in comparison. In Thailand, if it's not directly benefiting the person with whom you're trying to work, you're shit out of luck. Getting answers to questions and problems can be the biggest headache...makes you dread going out to find a not so common thing or to head to a bank to try and change something on your account. I still have that fear here in the states and find myself in shock when I'm in and out if a bank in 10 minutes with more completed than I had originally planned.

Now get to Gullivers and stop complaining.

green grass on both sides of the fence --- I think!

I think you should take P'Ked and meet me in Paris because it so easy for me to apply for the Europe countries visa, US visa is too difficult for me because I don't have any job and bank statement... And I don't think if we can catch each other in Thailand... ;p

kikikiki

Great journal and sort of makes me stop and rethink some of my plans for the next 2 years. Thailand seems to be losing its smile and its allure as a place to settle. All the **** with elections and the increasingly obtuse bureaucracy is making the 'against' column longer than the 'for'. Now would be a good time for the Thai government to relax the red tape and attract inward investment at all levels, but the Thai government and good ideas seem to be mutually exclusive...

We had a new TF'er show up tonight, Joey1967. She's recently returned from living in the US for awhile and has a lot of interesting stories I tried to get her to promise to post here.

She had a lot of really interesting perspectives on the differences between Thailand and the US like the fact that in the US she could get jobs based on whether or not she was qualified for the job and how here in Thailand, her own country, it's all about age or height. Both of which are illegal to even ask about in a job interview in the US.

I'm looking forward to seeing her posts.

green grass on both sides of the fence --- I think!

And rock hard clay dirt on both sides too.

Happy to hear our Admin are doing well.