Guest MarkCJ Posted March 11, 2011 Report Share Posted March 11, 2011 (edited) This is actually an old joke .. but I adapted it for Thailand and posted it on a "guys only" forum a few years ago. I thought I might resurrect it here and see what the Thai girls think. Is there any truth to it? 1. Be RICH. This is important for you, but not for her. For her the number two rule follows. 2. Spend MONEY on HER. This is the most important thing for her, whether you are rich, have any money, or must lie, steal, or kill to do it. 3. Be TALL. Of course you have no real control over this, but if you don't do it, she will secretly and forever resent you for it and it will come out of left field to smite you. Preferably be about one foot taller than her - not for comfort or aesthetics, but because you are a trophy and, as always, "the bigger the better" 4. Be a MINDLESS ZOMBIE RULED BY HER. Forget what you've heard about submissive Asian women. They actually rule every relationship with insidious and painful, passive-aggressive, guilt-evoking, whiny, crying mind-control. 5. Have the EMOTIONAL STABILITY OF A 4-YEAR-OLD. She will be impressed and enraptured by your delight at the sight of Hello Kitty, stuffed animals, puppies, kitties, duckies, bunnies, as well as chocolates, shiny jewelry and other trinkets and knickknacks. Also, she will understand perfectly well if you pout over the smallest perceived slight or slip and demand to be appeased, assuaged, or made-up to. If you behave any other way, she will never understand it. 6. Dress like a PRETTY-BOY GEEK. This will save her the trouble of replacing your wardrobe and dressing you, herself. 7. Remove EVERY HAIR ON YOUR BODY EXCEPT THOSE ON YOUR SCALP. The sight of a whisker on your face reminds her that somewhere inside you, something is trying to grow. You must not grow - you must be as unchanging and constant as the firmament. 8. Loose all your friends, never go out and if you go ... blindfold yourself so she will not have to look at your eyes all the time to see where you are looking 9. Do not try to go your native country without telling her. 10. Get her in touch with some woman at your place of work so she can discuss you and your manners towards other ladies. 11. Never take her to a party where she is not the most beautiful girl. 12. Tell your friends and family to assure her she is very beautiful. 13. Never wave or smile to any woman you know unless she knows them too. 14. Do not stay in bathroom longer than 5 minutes 15. Make sure she can check your outgoing and incoming calls on the mobile. 16. ... absolutely NEVER let her find out the names of any ex-girlfriends. Infidelity is retrospective to a Thai girl, and what you got up to behind the bike shed with Kylie Smith when you were 16 is direct evidence of your philandering, you lying cheating bastard! This requires the cooperation of your friends and family and will therefore commit you to a lifetime of exposure to blackmail. If she finds out she will throw the names back at you at every minor disagreement for the rest of your life or until you kill her. As far as she is concerned, she is the first girl you have ever had a romantic dalliance with, despite the fact that you are over 40 and every girl you ever met so obviously wants your body. There are NO MORE RULES to making your Thai girlfriend eternally happy. If any situation arises which you feel the rules have not been addressed, you are mistaken - immediately refer to primary rules #1 and #2 - they are the solutions in every case. Edited March 11, 2011 by MarkCJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chang Doe Posted March 11, 2011 Report Share Posted March 11, 2011 Disagree. When you followed these rules, there will nothing remain than a boring muppet. And then she's gonna leave you :-P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CiaranM Posted March 11, 2011 Report Share Posted March 11, 2011 Disagree. When you followed these rules, there will nothing remain than a boring muppet. And then she's gonna leave you :-P not until she's spent all ur money !!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaunitz Posted February 23, 2013 Report Share Posted February 23, 2013 Regarding para 10: Not a good idea as she will be jealous of them because, as we all know, you are a lying cheating bastard. Regarding para 13: It does not really matter whether she knows them or not - you are a lying bastard anyhow cheating on her with these cheap b*tches! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CocoaBrotha Posted February 23, 2013 Report Share Posted February 23, 2013 Hmm. Someone said this to me one day: "Derwin, opinions are like orgasms, **** hers, it's all about yours." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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