PeeMarc Posted March 21, 2008 Report Share Posted March 21, 2008 ok ok.... great guys... and now the story unfolds...As he sat on the end of the bed, buttoning his shirt, he knew she was going to talk about money, but he didn't know what it was in the bag she had left on the bedside table... He worried about the knife incident a few weeks before. And what about those helium balloons he saw in the wardrobe.... And that business card he found on the bureau from the chief surgeon at Siriraj Hospital's Penis Reattachment Surgery Center Visions of his manhood floating away ran through his mind. He opened his wallet and asked... whats next? ...as he watched the moths fly out... "How sick is the water buffalo?" Noi wiped a single tear from her left eye and said "Oiy, Charlie, he is so sick. Dr. Thitiporn called me today and said he is close to death unless he gets more money. Charlie could see the writing on the wall. "Just how much money does he need?" A small smile crossed Noi's lips as she knew that she had him now. Dr. Thitiporn says for hospital bed... 1000 Baht each day. IVs each day... 1000 Baht. EKG and CAT Scans... 5000 Baht." Charlie, rubbing his new shiner, asked Noi "How much for a new buffalo? 4000 Baht? Just let the biatch die and I will buy a new one." BAM, a right cross came out of nowhere and crunched Charlie's jaw, laying him out on the floor. "But we love Tik. She is like family. How can you say that?" Charlie, laying on his stomach and trying to chase the stars from his head, realized he had the presence of mind to maintain his grip on his stuffed wallet. He reached in and, unseen by Noi, removed all but 100 Baht from the wallet, secreting the 50,000 Baht beneath his gaudy Hawaiian shirt. He rolled over onto his back and deftly flipped the wallet through the open door and over the balcony railing. Like a Golden Retriever after a downed duck Noi swept across the room and leapt over the railing, landing cat like on the Soi Sansabai,10 feet below. Charlie made for the door. Charlie raced down the stairs trying to chase the cobwebs from his head. As they cleared he gained momentum and was soon in the lobby of the 500 Baht a night hotel. He ran towards the back of the lobby where the attached laundromat had a door to the alley behind the hotel All the while cussing i_love_som_tam for setting him up with this girl at the Safe "T" Stop bar in Patong Beach (sorry, some cheap advertising here). Charlie exited the laundromat and safely reached the alley, where as luck would have it, he came across a motorbike taxi just outside the door. "Where to Boss?" was the question from the driver as Charlie hurdled a smelly, fish entrails filled trash can and landed on the back of the motorbike. "Anywhere but here baby... Anywhere but here"....... but as they tried to speed away, a huge crowd gathered from no-where. People were running and shouting. Then he noticed Nio lying, crumpled on the road, cluching his wallet.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i_love_som_tam Posted March 21, 2008 Report Share Posted March 21, 2008 ok ok.... great guys... and now the story unfolds...As he sat on the end of the bed, buttoning his shirt, he knew she was going to talk about money, but he didn't know what it was in the bag she had left on the bedside table... He worried about the knife incident a few weeks before. And what about those helium balloons he saw in the wardrobe.... And that business card he found on the bureau from the chief surgeon at Siriraj Hospital's Penis Reattachment Surgery Center Visions of his manhood floating away ran through his mind. He opened his wallet and asked... whats next? ...as he watched the moths fly out... "How sick is the water buffalo?" Noi wiped a single tear from her left eye and said "Oiy, Charlie, he is so sick. Dr. Thitiporn called me today and said he is close to death unless he gets more money. Charlie could see the writing on the wall. "Just how much money does he need?" A small smile crossed Noi's lips as she knew that she had him now. Dr. Thitiporn says for hospital bed... 1000 Baht each day. IVs each day... 1000 Baht. EKG and CAT Scans... 5000 Baht." Charlie, rubbing his new shiner, asked Noi "How much for a new buffalo? 4000 Baht? Just let the biatch die and I will buy a new one." BAM, a right cross came out of nowhere and crunched Charlie's jaw, laying him out on the floor. "But we love Tik. She is like family. How can you say that?" Charlie, laying on his stomach and trying to chase the stars from his head, realized he had the presence of mind to maintain his grip on his stuffed wallet. He reached in and, unseen by Noi, removed all but 100 Baht from the wallet, secreting the 50,000 Baht beneath his gaudy Hawaiian shirt. He rolled over onto his back and deftly flipped the wallet through the open door and over the balcony railing. Like a Golden Retriever after a downed duck Noi swept across the room and leapt over the railing, landing cat like on the Soi Sansabai,10 feet below. Charlie made for the door. Charlie raced down the stairs trying to chase the cobwebs from his head. As they cleared he gained momentum and was soon in the lobby of the 500 Baht a night hotel. He ran towards the back of the lobby where the attached laundromat had a door to the alley behind the hotel All the while cussing i_love_som_tam for setting him up with this girl at the Safe "T" Stop bar in Patong Beach (sorry, some cheap advertising here). Charlie exited the laundromat and safely reached the alley, where as luck would have it, he came across a motorbike taxi just outside the door. "Where to Boss?" was the question from the driver as Charlie hurdled a smelly, fish entrails filled trash can and landed on the back of the motorbike. "Anywhere but here baby... Anywhere but here"....... "Where to go? Where to go?" ran through Charlie's mind as the motorbike headed up Soi Sansabai towards Nanai Road. "Som Tam. Som Tam. I gotta kill Som Tam for getting me into this ****. The bastard." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i_love_som_tam Posted March 21, 2008 Report Share Posted March 21, 2008 ok ok.... great guys... and now the story unfolds...As he sat on the end of the bed, buttoning his shirt, he knew she was going to talk about money, but he didn't know what it was in the bag she had left on the bedside table... He worried about the knife incident a few weeks before. And what about those helium balloons he saw in the wardrobe.... And that business card he found on the bureau from the chief surgeon at Siriraj Hospital's Penis Reattachment Surgery Center Visions of his manhood floating away ran through his mind. He opened his wallet and asked... whats next? ...as he watched the moths fly out... "How sick is the water buffalo?" Noi wiped a single tear from her left eye and said "Oiy, Charlie, he is so sick. Dr. Thitiporn called me today and said he is close to death unless he gets more money. Charlie could see the writing on the wall. "Just how much money does he need?" A small smile crossed Noi's lips as she knew that she had him now. Dr. Thitiporn says for hospital bed... 1000 Baht each day. IVs each day... 1000 Baht. EKG and CAT Scans... 5000 Baht." Charlie, rubbing his new shiner, asked Noi "How much for a new buffalo? 4000 Baht? Just let the biatch die and I will buy a new one." BAM, a right cross came out of nowhere and crunched Charlie's jaw, laying him out on the floor. "But we love Tik. She is like family. How can you say that?" Charlie, laying on his stomach and trying to chase the stars from his head, realized he had the presence of mind to maintain his grip on his stuffed wallet. He reached in and, unseen by Noi, removed all but 100 Baht from the wallet, secreting the 50,000 Baht beneath his gaudy Hawaiian shirt. He rolled over onto his back and deftly flipped the wallet through the open door and over the balcony railing. Like a Golden Retriever after a downed duck Noi swept across the room and leapt over the railing, landing cat like on the Soi Sansabai,10 feet below. Charlie made for the door. Charlie raced down the stairs trying to chase the cobwebs from his head. As they cleared he gained momentum and was soon in the lobby of the 500 Baht a night hotel. He ran towards the back of the lobby where the attached laundromat had a door to the alley behind the hotel All the while cussing i_love_som_tam for setting him up with this girl at the Safe "T" Stop bar in Patong Beach (sorry, some cheap advertising here). Charlie exited the laundromat and safely reached the alley, where as luck would have it, he came across a motorbike taxi just outside the door. "Where to Boss?" was the question from the driver as Charlie hurdled a smelly, fish entrails filled trash can and landed on the back of the motorbike. "Anywhere but here baby... Anywhere but here"....... "Where to go? Where to go?" ran through Charlie's mind as the motorbike headed up Soi Sansabai towards Nanai Road. "Som Tam. Som Tam. I gotta kill Som Tam for getting me into this sh*t. The bastard." Charlie, after a few "Mai kow jai's and mai roo's" from the motorbike taxi driver, made his way to Som Tam's bar. Som Tam watched Charlie get off the motorbike and try to pay with a 1000 Baht note that he pulled out of his mottled abortion looking Hawaiian shirt. An argument ensued as the taxi driver had now small bills. Som Tam paid the 60 Baht fare and inquired about the disheveled and bruised appearance of Charlie. Charlie, acknowledging Som Tam's graciousness, told him about the, hereafter, known as the "Noi Incident" and asked for a place to hide out. Som Tam advised Charlie that he had a small room between his bar and the Thai restaurant next door. Charlie readily accepted the invitation to stay there until the Noi Incident settled down. Som Tam neglected to tell him about the phad gaprao constantly being cooked in the restaurant next door. The frying chilis could kill a buffalo. Som Tam set Charlie up in the room with a cot and a fan. As he closed the bar Som Tam told Charlie that he would have his staff check on him the following morning. Lights out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeeMarc Posted March 21, 2008 Report Share Posted March 21, 2008 ok ok.... great guys... and now the story unfolds...As he sat on the end of the bed, buttoning his shirt, he knew she was going to talk about money, but he didn't know what it was in the bag she had left on the bedside table... He worried about the knife incident a few weeks before. And what about those helium balloons he saw in the wardrobe.... And that business card he found on the bureau from the chief surgeon at Siriraj Hospital's Penis Reattachment Surgery Center Visions of his manhood floating away ran through his mind. He opened his wallet and asked... whats next? ...as he watched the moths fly out... "How sick is the water buffalo?" Noi wiped a single tear from her left eye and said "Oiy, Charlie, he is so sick. Dr. Thitiporn called me today and said he is close to death unless he gets more money. Charlie could see the writing on the wall. "Just how much money does he need?" A small smile crossed Noi's lips as she knew that she had him now. Dr. Thitiporn says for hospital bed... 1000 Baht each day. IVs each day... 1000 Baht. EKG and CAT Scans... 5000 Baht." Charlie, rubbing his new shiner, asked Noi "How much for a new buffalo? 4000 Baht? Just let the biatch die and I will buy a new one." BAM, a right cross came out of nowhere and crunched Charlie's jaw, laying him out on the floor. "But we love Tik. She is like family. How can you say that?" Charlie, laying on his stomach and trying to chase the stars from his head, realized he had the presence of mind to maintain his grip on his stuffed wallet. He reached in and, unseen by Noi, removed all but 100 Baht from the wallet, secreting the 50,000 Baht beneath his gaudy Hawaiian shirt. He rolled over onto his back and deftly flipped the wallet through the open door and over the balcony railing. Like a Golden Retriever after a downed duck Noi swept across the room and leapt over the railing, landing cat like on the Soi Sansabai,10 feet below. Charlie made for the door. Charlie raced down the stairs trying to chase the cobwebs from his head. As they cleared he gained momentum and was soon in the lobby of the 500 Baht a night hotel. He ran towards the back of the lobby where the attached laundromat had a door to the alley behind the hotel All the while cussing i_love_som_tam for setting him up with this girl at the Safe "T" Stop bar in Patong Beach (sorry, some cheap advertising here). Charlie exited the laundromat and safely reached the alley, where as luck would have it, he came across a motorbike taxi just outside the door. "Where to Boss?" was the question from the driver as Charlie hurdled a smelly, fish entrails filled trash can and landed on the back of the motorbike. "Anywhere but here baby... Anywhere but here"....... "Where to go? Where to go?" ran through Charlie's mind as the motorbike headed up Soi Sansabai towards Nanai Road. "Som Tam. Som Tam. I gotta kill Som Tam for getting me into this sh*t. The bastard." Charlie, after a few "Mai kow jai's and mai roo's" from the motorbike taxi driver, made his way to Som Tam's bar. Som Tam watched Charlie get off the motorbike and try to pay with a 1000 Baht note that he pulled out of his mottled abortion looking Hawaiian shirt. An argument ensued as the taxi driver had now small bills. Som Tam paid the 60 Baht fare and inquired about the disheveled and bruised appearance of Charlie. Charlie, acknowledging Som Tam's graciousness, told him about the, hereafter, known as the "Noi Incident" and asked for a place to hide out. Som Tam advised Charlie that he had a small room between his bar and the Thai restaurant next door. Charlie readily accepted the invitation to stay there until the Noi Incident settled down. Som Tam neglected to tell him about the phad gaprao constantly being cooked in the restaurant next door. The frying chilis could kill a buffalo. Som Tam set Charlie up in the room with a cot and a fan. As he closed the bar Som Tam told Charlie that he would have his staff check on him the following morning. Lights out.[/quote:43ccae1f29] CHAPTER 2 Noi had always loved Charlie and despised Som Tam, even though she sweet talked him all the time. She knew what she had to do... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I_am_George Posted March 21, 2008 Report Share Posted March 21, 2008 Unknown to Noi, Charlie always had a secret crush on Som Tam ..........life was about to get rather interesting for all three of them!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeeMarc Posted March 21, 2008 Report Share Posted March 21, 2008 Now she was feeling resentful of the time Som tam was stealing from her. She needed Charlies touch. But she needed the money more... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I_am_George Posted March 21, 2008 Report Share Posted March 21, 2008 "I'll show him..........No money, no honey" she said to herself Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeeMarc Posted March 21, 2008 Report Share Posted March 21, 2008 CHAPTER 3 Charlie did all he could to be around Som Tam, he hung on every drawling word. But he knew Som Tam would never admit their closeness. In fact, he thought, all the anger he felt from Som tam recently was just a cover-up... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i_love_som_tam Posted March 21, 2008 Report Share Posted March 21, 2008 CHAPTER 3Charlie did all he could to be around Som Tam, he hung on every drawling word. But he knew Som Tam would never admit their closeness. In fact, he thought, all the anger he felt from Som tam recently was just a cover-up... Charlie stewed and stewed all night. Phad gaprao.... chilis cooking all night. The powerful Thai chilis took their toll on Charlie and he died in the confined room behind Som Tam's bar, 50,000 Baht still hidden in his gaudy Hawaiian shirt. The following morning, per Som Tam's request, Kung, a woman of bad reputation, checked on Charlie and found that he had succumbed to the chili aromas. Ever resourceful, Kung gave Charlie a quick frisk and found the 50,000 Baht squirreled away in his ugly ass shirt. Looking in all directions, she stuffed the wad in the left cup of her already tissue stuffed bra. She readied herself and hauled the cold corpse of Charlie out to the trash heap, thinking all the way "50,000 Baht? And you never bought me a lady drink. Your name fits you, you cheap prick." After depositing the corpse in the trash heap, assured that his death would be another phad gaprao related fatality, Kung examined the fifty 1000 Baht notes. One note in particular.... On this note was a Thai mobile phone number... 0812575433...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i_love_som_tam Posted March 21, 2008 Report Share Posted March 21, 2008 CHAPTER 3Charlie did all he could to be around Som Tam, he hung on every drawling word. But he knew Som Tam would never admit their closeness. In fact, he thought, all the anger he felt from Som tam recently was just a cover-up... Charlie stewed and stewed all night. Phad gaprao.... chilis cooking all night. The powerful Thai chilis took their toll on Charlie and he died in the confined room behind Som Tam's bar, 50,000 Baht still hidden in his gaudy Hawaiian shirt. The following morning, per Som Tam's request, Kung, a woman of bad reputation, checked on Charlie and found that he had succumbed to the chili aromas. Ever resourceful, Kung gave Charlie a quick frisk and found the 50,000 Baht squirreled away in his ugly ass shirt. Looking in all directions, she stuffed the wad in the left cup of her already tissue stuffed bra. She readied herself and hauled the cold corpse of Charlie out to the trash heap, thinking all the way "50,000 Baht? And you never bought me a lady drink. Your name fits you, you cheap prick." After depositing the corpse in the trash heap, assured that his death would be another phad gaprao related fatality, Kung examined the fifty 1000 Baht notes. One note in particular.... On this note was a Thai mobile phone number... 0812575433...... Being as curious as the proverbial cat with one life left, Kung picked up the bar phone (why waste her own 12Call time) and called the number listed on the 1000 Baht note.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeeMarc Posted March 21, 2008 Report Share Posted March 21, 2008 CHAPTER 3Charlie did all he could to be around Som Tam, he hung on every drawling word. But he knew Som Tam would never admit their closeness. In fact, he thought, all the anger he felt from Som tam recently was just a cover-up... Charlie stewed and stewed all night. Phad gaprao.... chilis cooking all night. The powerful Thai chilis took their toll on Charlie and he died in the confined room behind Som Tam's bar, 50,000 Baht still hidden in his gaudy Hawaiian shirt. The following morning, per Som Tam's request, Kung, a woman of bad reputation, checked on Charlie and found that he had succumbed to the chili aromas. Ever resourceful, Kung gave Charlie a quick frisk and found the 50,000 Baht squirreled away in his ugly ass shirt. Looking in all directions, she stuffed the wad in the left cup of her already tissue stuffed bra. She readied herself and hauled the cold corpse of Charlie out to the trash heap, thinking all the way "50,000 Baht? And you never bought me a lady drink. Your name fits you, you cheap prick." After depositing the corpse in the trash heap, assured that his death would be another phad gaprao related fatality, Kung examined the fifty 1000 Baht notes. One note in particular.... On this note was a Thai mobile phone number... 0812575433...... he heard people coming down the alley. 50,000 baht cash in his hand. this wouldnt look good. he hurried down the soi.... he knew the phone number... but.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i_love_som_tam Posted March 21, 2008 Report Share Posted March 21, 2008 CHAPTER 3Charlie did all he could to be around Som Tam, he hung on every drawling word. But he knew Som Tam would never admit their closeness. In fact, he thought, all the anger he felt from Som tam recently was just a cover-up... Charlie stewed and stewed all night. Phad gaprao.... chilis cooking all night. The powerful Thai chilis took their toll on Charlie and he died in the confined room behind Som Tam's bar, 50,000 Baht still hidden in his gaudy Hawaiian shirt. The following morning, per Som Tam's request, Kung, a woman of bad reputation, checked on Charlie and found that he had succumbed to the chili aromas. Ever resourceful, Kung gave Charlie a quick frisk and found the 50,000 Baht squirreled away in his ugly ass shirt. Looking in all directions, she stuffed the wad in the left cup of her already tissue stuffed bra. She readied herself and hauled the cold corpse of Charlie out to the trash heap, thinking all the way "50,000 Baht? And you never bought me a lady drink. Your name fits you, you cheap prick." After depositing the corpse in the trash heap, assured that his death would be another phad gaprao related fatality, Kung examined the fifty 1000 Baht notes. One note in particular.... On this note was a Thai mobile phone number... 0812575433...... he heard people coming down the alley. 50,000 baht cash in his hand. this wouldnt look good. he hurried down the soi.... he knew the phone number... but.... Kung is poo ying Thai... but we can work around that :wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i_love_som_tam Posted March 21, 2008 Report Share Posted March 21, 2008 CHAPTER 3Charlie did all he could to be around Som Tam, he hung on every drawling word. But he knew Som Tam would never admit their closeness. In fact, he thought, all the anger he felt from Som tam recently was just a cover-up... Charlie stewed and stewed all night. Phad gaprao.... chilis cooking all night. The powerful Thai chilis took their toll on Charlie and he died in the confined room behind Som Tam's bar, 50,000 Baht still hidden in his gaudy Hawaiian shirt. The following morning, per Som Tam's request, Kung, a woman of bad reputation, checked on Charlie and found that he had succumbed to the chili aromas. Ever resourceful, Kung gave Charlie a quick frisk and found the 50,000 Baht squirreled away in his ugly ass shirt. Looking in all directions, she stuffed the wad in the left cup of her already tissue stuffed bra. She readied herself and hauled the cold corpse of Charlie out to the trash heap, thinking all the way "50,000 Baht? And you never bought me a lady drink. Your name fits you, you cheap prick." After depositing the corpse in the trash heap, assured that his death would be another phad gaprao related fatality, Kung examined the fifty 1000 Baht notes. One note in particular.... On this note was a Thai mobile phone number... 0812575433...... Being as curious as the proverbial cat with one life left, Kung picked up the bar phone (why waste her own 12Call time) and called the number listed on the 1000 Baht note.... "Hello, Porn's house of porn" was the greeting Kung received. As she began to speak, the recording continued... "If you are interested in employment please press 1 now. If you are interested in advertising please press 2 now. If you are interested in our product line please press 3 now." Still curious, Kung pressed...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I_am_George Posted March 21, 2008 Report Share Posted March 21, 2008 Does this mean the dreaded Kung was indeed a ladyboy??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i_love_som_tam Posted March 21, 2008 Report Share Posted March 21, 2008 Does this mean the dreaded Kung was indeed a ladyboy??? nah, i have it on good authority she was not :wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I_am_George Posted March 21, 2008 Report Share Posted March 21, 2008 Does this mean the dreaded Kung was indeed a ladyboy??? nah, i have it on good authority she was not :wink: 'nuff said :wink: ......now get back to the script!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i_love_som_tam Posted March 21, 2008 Report Share Posted March 21, 2008 CHAPTER 3Charlie did all he could to be around Som Tam, he hung on every drawling word. But he knew Som Tam would never admit their closeness. In fact, he thought, all the anger he felt from Som tam recently was just a cover-up... Charlie stewed and stewed all night. Phad gaprao.... chilis cooking all night. The powerful Thai chilis took their toll on Charlie and he died in the confined room behind Som Tam's bar, 50,000 Baht still hidden in his gaudy Hawaiian shirt. The following morning, per Som Tam's request, Kung, a woman of bad reputation, checked on Charlie and found that he had succumbed to the chili aromas. Ever resourceful, Kung gave Charlie a quick frisk and found the 50,000 Baht squirreled away in his ugly ass shirt. Looking in all directions, she stuffed the wad in the left cup of her already tissue stuffed bra. She readied herself and hauled the cold corpse of Charlie out to the trash heap, thinking all the way "50,000 Baht? And you never bought me a lady drink. Your name fits you, you cheap prick." After depositing the corpse in the trash heap, assured that his death would be another phad gaprao related fatality, Kung examined the fifty 1000 Baht notes. One note in particular.... On this note was a Thai mobile phone number... 0812575433...... Being as curious as the proverbial cat with one life left, Kung picked up the bar phone (why waste her own 12Call time) and called the number listed on the 1000 Baht note.... "Hello, Porn's house of porn" was the greeting Kung received. As she began to speak, the recording continued... "If you are interested in employment please press 1 now. If you are interested in advertising please press 2 now. If you are interested in our product line please press 3 now." Still curious, Kung pressed...... 1..... a moment went by and Kung heard a voice advising to go to Nanai Soi Song and knock on the door at 12/65 Nanai Soi Song. When asked 'Who is it' answer 'Big Joe sent me'" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeeMarc Posted March 21, 2008 Report Share Posted March 21, 2008 Big Joe was actually a midget, with a very pronounced lisp. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeeMarc Posted March 21, 2008 Report Share Posted March 21, 2008 Everyone used to call him Small Joe, but he could never pronounce it properly, so he changed it and had anyone who called hi Small Joe again beaten up. Who could this person be that Big Joe sent? Kung thought for a moment, then opened the door very slowly... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeeMarc Posted March 21, 2008 Report Share Posted March 21, 2008 bob was a well trained soi dog, often used by Big Joe to send messages. It would confuse people and Big Joe liked that. Kung saw a slip of paper attached to Bob's collar and bent down to carefully pry it loose. She unfolded it. The note said... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiamHotel Posted March 21, 2008 Report Share Posted March 21, 2008 g Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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SiamHotel Posted March 21, 2008 Report Share Posted March 21, 2008 o Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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SiamHotel Posted March 21, 2008 Report Share Posted March 21, 2008 { pauxe } Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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