We are all living in disguise? Masking away our identity.
Society has no rules and no life ? It?s all what we write into it.
In the mirror, my reflection isn?t there anymore ? Just someone else I?m living in. So I?d say - Don?t even think about digging into my core ? when you can?t even understand my skin.
Ever got SOOOO tired you can?t speak? ? So forget about explaining!!
...I?m not pretending to love or to hate, or to blame anyone for who I am at this moment.
But If I would throw away
I wonder?..
((warning: Bad sign* Bad sign* **PAM is WONDERING** run now* or *run forever!!))
Ok, here?(read this in a FAST MODE bc that's how it's going in my head.)
With all the 365 days a year I get and 24 hours each day... Why is it that I find it so HARRRRRRD for me to force myself to tuck me in bed, close the eyes and relax? ? I always feel the need to stay awake as much as possible ?cos there?s certainly no time to waste!!!
To really think u get 8,760 hours a year? but waste 2,555-3,
According to my journal earlier in the day ((that's been deleted due certain attack from my Silly Little Unfortunate Rebellious Miserable Slave))...
Well, I guess I'm gonna have to partially state the contents once more to make the journals connect...
And once again (duh- it's the third time I'm repeating this!)
As i said, I got donated a premium membership (snif snif)...
But - i don't really want to KNOW who voted for me and stuff... 'Cos i'm definitely not going to vote back to everyone a
Now everybody knows the meaning of 'bullshit'... obviously. Have you ever examined the real identification of the word?
I had this discussion with my client today...
Pam:
Where do you think the word 'bullshit' grew out from? In term of, why do u think ppl call it 'bullshit' and not something else?
Client:
Well, bullshit means when you're talking bullshit - u know... like ...
Pam:
No, no, no - i know what it means... but I wonder...
...Does it also mean that when someone say that to you,
Have you ever been told that complaining isn?t just a monotonous usage of language? but definitely another form of skill? Only that it?s a skill you rarely make money out of. Just like how most artists are meant to be poor, but aren?t they ?rich? in Artistry! Therefore, if you know how to complain? keep complaining. Soon you?ll be verbally wealthy!
Shame ? It?s the world that doesn?t make sense. It?s spinning the wrong way?What a stupid globe!! - But how many people on this planet do you think
Girls.. Guys.. Lesbians.. Gays.. Bi's..
Corious Couples..
TF members..
Total Strangers..
If you'd like to know things about ME...feel free to ask ME.
You can msg...msn...ems...sos...sms...bat signal....whatever! I'll answer if i can answer.
If u just like gossipping, you can come borrow 'hello' magazines from my place.
If ur such a big fan of my life... you can subscribe to 'my diary' ... edits weekly...
Less, u can pick a daisy... he loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me
(caution: it?s full A4)
Here?s the plan?. I?m gonna hide myself in this cave of mine today cos it will be simply pathetic to go out alone on Valentines. On Saturday I already got a cute little box with 6 heart-shaped chocolates? but it was from a 80 something year old man (who went to Starbucks while waiting for his 70++ year old wife who was at my shop, and then generously brought me a lil something). But I already ate two ? and the taste is awful (drop dead bitter, but I figured that goes
Well, the original journal got a little too long (fits A4 perfectly, but A4 is still just TOO long!) So I'm gonna cut the crap short(er) and skip that first two paragraphs.
SO...After Mystique hours, i popped for some food with 4 other ppl. Paul Collins is the only person I remember the name. The two girls, I hung out with a while during Mystique. (And sorry...I can't remember your names but thankfully, i don't think you're gonna read my journal...but if you do...pls! tell me your name again!!
I know you people don?t like depressing journals? But I gotta write it or else I?d explode! At least someone will read it ~ still good even if it just goes to a backhole!!!
So I wake up to realize my life?s a mess. And that?s why I don?t normally like to sleep.
This is another day I feel something is calling me, back to a place where I tend to belong better. Well, at least I got a home! (Sadness is what it?s called.)
There is the past holding this lame life back somewhere? But I have no
Life is a mystifying abstract art work.
Inexplicable pile of mess ? And yet attractive.
We?re all uglies living in a beautiful world.
We?re here to help uglify each other.
- Don?t worry? in the end, we can always blame it on the society!
You can be intelligent but dumb? Stupid but intellectual?
Therefore, no need to struggle promoting your value to others? It will automatically come to you when you?re dead. --- Effortless benefit!
Silence is something you can?t touch or see, but it c
my first appointment today was meant to be at 11 am ... so at 10 (which is actually the normal opening time anyway) i was still lying face down on the sofa... volumed up the cd, just so the music would wake my energy up.
a client happened to come over without an appointment~! She walked in, said hello - and as soon as i emerged my half-dead face up from the couch, she started laughing the hell out of it! (imagine, puffy seaweed hair... messed up mascara...etc etc.)
lucky enuff, i have a sensi
Time flies fast when you want it slow, and time goes slowly when you?re feeling cold.
My life hates me!!
Is it my past karma that keeps striking back? Or is it just typical human process that I forget to remember??
Something about life I never forget?
IT SUCKS!!!!!
I wonder why I feel so drained?. Has the spirit left my body??
nah... it doesn't matter. oh wait, it does ... no it doesn't... yes it does... <<<< the split personality fighting in my head....
blah.
About my copied journal yesterday... Here's the continued story!
Bam and I went to KSR last night.... And out of the crowded human population, guess who Bam saw! --- The girl who copied my journal!!! YUP! I was sanely sober - and i'm 10000000% sure that's her!!!
like - WoWe~! creepy co-in!!!
..... But then today, I got a note from another girl (on tf too) ... Who apoligized and claimed, she was the one who stole that journal ~ so little miss Magda' is not responsible for the crime anymore!
well well welllllllll ...... i wanted to keep this unexposed... But~ damn - how could you have sometihing funny and not tell!!
I'll do the mercy on keeping that person's name a secret then.
But here's the story....
If anybody remembers my Christmas day journal, which said...
How is everybody's Christmas going?? [ 25 Dec 2004 | 4:54PM ]
Well, mine just jumped out the window after long hours of gallopping all over my place. --- Oh... I'm talking about Christmas, my cat. This must be a real
Well...
Someone has been avoiding me, which i kinda knew.
My fault... i know that too BUT... i don't normally try to remain in the time warp - it's a scary place.
I don't normally get to make the decision of who i wanna be with... And when i wanna be where... And whenever I get involved with something i like too much, it strikes me that this thing will just end up a strain. So i'd lean back... numb my feelings... pretend it's not there.
Well... I never do the right things at the right t
Well, mine just jumped out the window after long hours of gallopping all over my place. --- Oh... I'm talking about Christmas, my cat. This must be a real Christmas's day!
Just got back from a quick shooping. Baked a super (fattening) chocolate cake...Now chilling in the fridge. Sad part is that - wrong calculation... I should have baked it yesterday cos it needs one night chilling before it's edible!!! duh!!!
Got another box of chocolate form my client. Marriott Hotel's thing.... Extremely t
Dear BAM
Never EVER EVER EVER leave me with that kind of GUY EVeR again!!!!!
That friggin BARRY ?he was fuking UGLY!!!! jeEEZzZZ ~ !
(Not close to kool not close to cute, duh!!!!)
And I didn?t even believe U left ME>>??? I had to go ask Scott ? I was like, Scott!! Where is BAM??? Barry said she left ? there?s no fuking way she?d do that to me!!!!
And Scott (with his eyes poking out) said, NO WAY ? she Won?t do that to you!!!
But well hell, you left!!
You horrible bitcho!!
Took me three Long years to think of this song... My teacher made me (and some friends) sing it in front of the class whenever we were late(only bc the teacher knew we only sneaked out to get snacks). (off course it comes with actions too.)
here goes...
WHO's the king of the Jungle (WHO WHO)
Who's the king of the sea (wha wha wha)
Who's the King of the universe,
The Jungle and the sea?
... J E S U S (YES!)
He's the king of me
He's the king of the universe..
the jungle and the sea!
Lets see?
Normally I?d spend around 900-1,500 baht on one night out. Normally, I go out 3-4 nights a week. This week I only went out two nights. I was pretty glad ? it?s about time I should fill up my secret savings again!
Yet, temptation never dies. I really felt the need of ?spending?.
So Bam and I went to Central. Gotta admit, after you spent 300 baht for a glass of poor quality cocktail ? everything else seemed so CHEAP!
And here?s the comparison:
CLINIQUE 200ml bottle of Toner = 750
My mom just called and said my cat at home (Chacha) is sick. He's got worms in his blood and also might have leukemia...
My old cat, Cassy, also died out of worms in the blood and leukemia. Now I'm getting a complete flashback of the misery i went through December 2002.
Funny (but not laughing), history knows how to repeat itself... Now I'm gonna head the New Year with another depression collected.
Chacha is such an active and charming cat. It hurts when things like these happen to such inno
So here's what Bam's got to say...
Thanawan (BAM):
And guess what? Last night while I was crusing with the guy I've been hanging out with, the police pulled us over and did a thorough investigation in my car. And bingo, they pulled Pam's bra out, didn't really figure out what that was at the beginning (it looked kinda like a hair band). After we got back in the car, the guy asked me how come you have bra in here? What have you been up to? I said "oh it's Pam's" without elaborating much.
This
And now the truth is out?
Been wondering why my bras have been disappearing and then being found tucked in some dark spots of Bam?s car. (Has she been taking advantage of my unsoberness???)
Well, last night was when the truth revealed. We were dancing at Tapas, while my strapless bra kept sliding down. (Due to the fact that there was nothing for the poor bra to attach on?) So in the end I decided to just take it off? And stuck it in Bam?s purse.
And there you go? I must have been doing thi
My cat, Christmas ? and her way of calling my attention, is to jump onto the monitor and stare at my face. Lately my computer screen has been f* up since Christmas may have been a lil too HeAvY for the poor monitor. Sometimes it goes green ? Most times, it goes green. ---- Well, ?less if you smack the top of the monitor a few times it might turn back to normal.
SO ? here comes Christmas with her attempt to jump onto the monitor again. So I used my hand to block her. *But then* her foot fell int
I know I?ve been mucking around the computer and TF for at least 15 hours a day? This month, work has dropped a bit. I think I?ve been really lazy and tired out of sleeping late and going out too much!
I?m planning to paint a few walls in December? kind of a semi-reno. for my place. Gotta find some motivation for the up-coming year! Can?t go on like this ?.No No Noooo!!
Anyways, today is Tuesday ?therefore, I go home to my mom?s?. so I can stay there all Wednesday. Which means, BAM?URXI?. I?
