?Whenever you're in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.?

- William James

yea, thats true

All thing is about attitude.But, it is quite hard when

thing get worse and you don't fall into "emotional trap".

It needs practice.I guess

Exploring>> yes, agree with you... somehow we let ourselves to be in "emotion trap"... and then we are blind and deaf.... but voice is louder... practise is a good answer... we just have to do it for life : )

True....

I think this is very true, but... it requires the answer to one question to make it complete: "what kind of attitude?".

Attitude: ?noun

1. Manner, disposition, feeling, position, etc., with regard to a person or thing; tendency or orientation, esp. of the mind: a negative attitude; group attitudes.

2. position or posture of the body appropriate to or expressive of an action, emotion, etc.: a threatening attitude; a relaxed attitude.

Often, in English, we use the term "where are you coming from?", which really means: "what is your attitude towards me or this situation based on?"

In a loving partnership/relationship there is usually a hope and trust (even expectation) that the other will have an attitude based on Love. But, sometimes, in conflict, discussions or arguments, one person may have an attitude based on fear (fear of losing face, fear of being wrong, fear of unknown, fear of anger, fear of being 'attacked' etc.). This can be very damaging as well as making communication very difficult.

I did a lot of study, particularly with groups when I studied psychology and Transactional Analysis in my 20's. Body language, tone of voice and general posture can say a lot about someone's attitude in a discussion or conflict. Sometimes even more than the words they are saying. For example: folding arms (putting up a barrier to protect oneself), pointing finger (used like a threatening weapon or accusation), tapping of fingers or foot (impatience, intolerance), raising voice, standing over or higher than the other (to intimidate), using sharp movements, interrupting, facial expressions, turning away.... many things that can send 'signals' to the other that the attitude is one based on Fear (closed), not Love (open).

I totally agree that attitude is one of the key factors that can determine if a conflict (or even a discussion) will have a damaging or deepening effect on the relationship. But to be more precise, I believe that the attitude should be Love based if the couple wish for a deepening effect.

The other thing to remember is that, with an attitude of Love from both people, the situation immediately stops being a 'conflict' where someone loses and someone wins. Only a Fear attitude creates a conflict.

I need a volunteer, I'm gonna make a banner of these words but who dare to put it somewhere by the airport ??!!

ooohhhhh talk like they do care !!!

.best thing to do is to change your paradigm...result of that will be a change of attitude...

sabaisabai >> to change the paradigm... that would mean to change "Concepts", "Values", "Perceptions" and "Practice".... that's possibly to change attitude........and also to change "oneself" : )

.change of paradigm doesnt mean u have to change your own values...empathy is not sympathy...