Have you ever feel this way but it wasn't your fault at all? I'm feeling like this these days.Before I start my journal, I wanna thanks Nave, who brought me beautiful box of chocolate visited me at my workplace na ja... you really made my day. OK. Sometimes working hard is really good for me, a monk said keeping busy full fill the empty brain, but if working too hard is unhealthy at all.I got some assignment, and I had seen it was impossible to finish on time, cuz so many requirements, I sent back e-mail that I couldn't make it happen. That was first time that I deny people, but I gave suggestions, where they could get it done, such as spending money for outsource. Believe me, I really felt bad about it. However, I don't know why it returned to me. From those requirements I cut them down, they said they agree with the deal, but after I started, more and more requirements added... It's getting to my personal life...Damn it! and today I woke up at 3 am. just to check e-mail, and really pissed of. hrrrrrrrrrrrr... Now 4 am already. better go to bed sleep for a bit.... and I will say "no" again tomorrow.Hope I won't feel "Guilty" when I say that.

Neung, you have to set limits on what you do for other people, be they friends or colleagues. It is important to do well, but it is mor eimportant to achieve som sort of balance so that YOU are not neglected. When work infringes on your personal life and you find yourself in a situtation of checking e mails at 3am, it is maybe time to take a small step back and make sure that you are allocating enough Neung time. Glad Nave cheered you up with a box of chocolates!! That always does the trick for me!!

: )

I'm sure the decision wasn't easy for you. Sooo ... congrats for your new experience with your personal time and energy management! :-) Learning to handle a good balance is a crucial factor for success in the long run and for getting satisfaction from work. Giving 150% is great for a while, but if you start to lose too much nerves or even friends then you lose too much. Sometimes a NO is a YES to a better life! :-)

Good to see you followed advice....... well, except for the part about "it being THEIR fault and not yours"...

I agree with all the advice you have been given, Neung!! Stay strong and hold your ground.

Hope you are feeling better after bed time. In my opinion, you have done the right way. If you were pending with something it should be advance inform them you couldn't make it so they have more time to study and work it out... If you let it come in but you made it so dalayed then they can blame on you.... Please beCool and be happy ...No need to be guilty ... Hug Hug

This year , I learnt to say No to my customers politely and give them the reasons...

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Yes, that kind of thing happens a lot - you tell them "no" at the first, then they accept the reduced scope of work, and once you start on it, they simply try to pile on the extras back to what they wanted at the beginning...it's extremely unfair, and very dishonest when people do that to you.

If they give you an assignment and you have said "no", but then accepted a reduced scope - quote that back at them when they want to pile on more and more - tell them everything else is an extra - and will add to the timeline...then it's up to them to accept it or not.

Emails at 3am - not good - I have done it myslef, and just wore myself out, so I was no good for the client or myself. Not worth it.

Stick to your guns!

Don't work too hard naka it'll cause you grumpy...

you dont really have to feel or be guilty when saying no to something or someone in order to make things better or get your work done !! I find that its fair enough to say it now rather than saying 'sorry but im behind my schedule'..It's cool, it's fun, it's challenging to live up to your full potentials! I love that and I do that but set your priorities first. You don't have to do all but you just have to choose what's the most important to you. What can be done by others and what are some little things that when you do it right away it will allow you more time to do your major things.

I'm a workaholic but never once that I feel guilty for saying NO !! because I know my priorities ! I often discuss about this to my boss so that he knows what I am doing and get his agreement. Also I pass that on to my people so that they know what I am doing. In return, my staff needs to tell me about what they are doing and I'm willing to help them as my boss has been helping me about my priorities as well.

It's call team work and once you set it to a go..go for it and enjoy it.

Not that difficult !!

Work to live. You don't live to work and overstress yourself. Stress is one of the leading causes of death. If you spoke truthfully about something you honestly felt that you couldn't accomplish on time and directed their sources elsewhere, you shouldn't feel guilty about it at all. Since it was re-directed back to you, handle to the best of your ability. If you don't meet the time frame, you have it documented. You've CYA on that one. But for no reason at all should you feel guilty sweetie.

And I strongly agree wih Nave.

Feel guilty to say no to other? Well, it's better than say yes and cant finish the task on time. Then everyone will be in trouble and u will feel more guilty for sure.

Sometimes saying "No" can be very healthy as well. if you know yourself that you cannot finish something or will not be able to do your best at it, it's actually much better to learn to say no.

Do not feel guilty though. You are doing your best and that should be more than enough to feel good about yourself. People who know that it's not possible to get things done in time, yet expect too much out of you, should be the one who is feeling guilty for putting too much pressure on you than necessary.