A Man's World
Entry posted by Indman ·
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1. Crying is blackmail.
2. Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. JUST SAY IT!
3. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair and by then you're stuck with her.
4. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navellint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
5. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.
6. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
7. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
8. You have enough clothes.
9. You have enough shoes. No... you have too many shoes.
10. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.
11. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us b!t*hing about you leaving it down.
12. Yes, peeing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
13. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
14. Mark Birthdays, Anniversaries and other important dates on a calendar. We don't know what day it is. We never will!!
15. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to any question.
16. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
17. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
18. Sunday = Sports .It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
19. If you don't dress like the Victoria Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
20. If something we said could be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
21. Let us ogle. We're gonna look anyway, it's genetic; and besides if we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?
22. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done...not both.
23. Women wearing wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
24. Check your oil!
25. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we're never going to think of it that way.
26. When we have to go somewhere, ABSOLUTELY anything you wear is fine. Really!
27. Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
28. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
29. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do!!
30. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together.
31. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
32. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
33. ALL men see in only 16 colors. Peach is a fruit, not a color.
34. If it itches, it will be scratched.
35. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
36. If we ask what's wrong andyou say, "Nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you're lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.
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