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The way you hold your glass can reveal much more than you might realise, a psychologist has warned. Dr Glenn Wilson, a consultant psychologist, observed the body language of 500 drinkers and divided them into eight personality types. These were the flirt, the gossip, fun lover, wallflower, the ice-queen, the playboy, Jack-the-lad and browbeater. Dr Wilson, who carried out the work for the Walkabout bar chain, said glass hold "reflected the person you are". The types of drinker are: THE FLIRT This is usually a woman, who holds her glass with dainty, splayed fingers and uses it in a provocative way. She may position it over her cleavage so as to draw attention to her attributes or peer over the rim to make eye contact when taking a sip - and she may "tease" the rim of the glass with her finger, perhaps dipping it into the drink and sucking it dry. THE GOSSIP Again, usually a woman who clusters together with her friends. She may be talking about other people, and can be critical. She holds a wine glass by the bowl and uses it to gesticulate and make points in conversation. She is inclined to lean over her drink, in towards others so as to speak confidentially. This person already has a close-knit social group with little inclination to extend it, therefore advances from outsiders are not usually welcome. THE FUN-LOVER This type of drinker could be a man or a woman. They tend to be sociable and convivial and "like a laugh". They take short swigs from bottled drinks so they don't miss out on chipping in with the conversation. The bottle is held loosely at its shoulder for ease. This type of person is always happy to extend their social circle. The best way to approach them therefore is to leap directly into light, good-humoured conversation and make them laugh. THE WALLFLOWER Usually a shy, submissive person who holds the glass protectively, not letting go, as though afraid somebody will take it away. Palms are kept hidden and the glass is used as a social crutch - the drink is never quite finished, with a mouthful left in case of emergency. The drink is small - maybe half a pint of lager for a man. When you're in a crowded bar, often all you have to go on is body language Dr Glenn Wilson It may be drunk through a straw, which is fidgeted with, and used to stir the drink between sips. The style and pace of drinking is an echo of those around them - very little is initiated. This individual needs to be approached in a gentle, sensitive way, with perhaps a few understated compliments to build self-confidence, but may eventually warm to overtures. THE ICE-QUEEN This is a mainly female type whose natural style is cold and defensive. She drinks from a wine glass, or a short glass, which is held firmly in a barrier position across the body so as to deter intimate approaches. It is usually a waste of time approaching this woman; she may be ready with a castrating put-down. THE PLAYBOY This man is active and self-confident; a "Don Juan"-type seducer. He uses his, usually long, glass or bottle as a phallic prop, playing with it suggestively. He is inclined to be possessive, and can be tactile with his female companions. THE JACK-THE-LAD This "peacock" is conscious of his image and will drink a bottled beer, or cider. He is inclined to be confident and arrogant, and can be territorial in his gestures, spreading himself over as much space as possible, for example, pushing the glass well away from himself and leaning back in his chair. If he is drinking with friends, he would be unlikely to welcome approaches from outside the group, unless sycophantic and ego-enhancing. THE BROWBEATER Again usually male, he prefers large glasses, or bottles, which he uses as symbolic weapons, firmly grasped, and gesticulating in a threatening, "in the face" kind of way. Something of a know-it-all, he can come across as slightly hostile, even if only through verbal argument, or jokes targeted at others. He should be approached with great care, or not at all. 'An unconscious thing' Dr. Wilson said: "The simple act of holding a drink displays a lot more about us than we realise - or might want to divulge. "When you're in a crowded bar, often all you have to go on is body language. "To a large extent, it's an unconscious thing and just reflects the person you are and the type of social relationships you have." But he warned: "The next time you're in a bar, it might be worth thinking about what you're saying to the people around you, just by the way you're holding your glass." so...which one are you?

It may be the greatest irony of the information age. All of that data flying at you by e-mail, instant message, cell phone, voice mail and BlackBerry--it could actually be making you dumber. Dr. Edward Hallowell, a psychiatrist who's studied attention deficit disorder for more than a decade, has identified a related disorder he calls attention deficit trait, and he says it's reaching epidemic proportions in the corporate world. Unlike attention deficit disorder, or ADD, people aren't born with ADT. It's the result, he contends, of the modern workplace, where the constant and relentless chatter coming from our computers, phones and other high-tech devices is diluting our mental powers. Q: What is ADT? Hallowell: It's sort of like the normal version of attention deficit disorder. But it's a condition induced by modern life, in which you've become so busy attending to so many inputs and outputs that you become increasingly distracted, irritable, impulsive, restless and, over the long term, underachieving. In other words, it costs you efficiency because you're doing so much or trying to do so much, it's as if you're juggling one more ball than you possibly can. You say technology in the form of e-mail, voice mail, instant messaging and so on is fueling this phenomenon. It's ironic that the information age is making a lot of us dimmer, isn't it? Hallowell: Absolutely. Technology is a great blessing. It is behind much of our progress. But if we're not careful with it, it can start running us ragged. This is the person who spends the day responding to e-mail and voice mail; the person who allows himself to be interrupted by the cell phone during an important meeting; the person who stays up late at night because he can't log off the Internet. We need to take charge of it. Right now, it's taking charge of us. We need to preserve time to stop and think. If you don't allow yourself to stop and think, you're not getting the best of your brain. What your brain is best equipped to do is to think, to analyze, to dissect and create. And if you're simply responding to bits of stimulation, you won't ever go deep. Are some people just better at multitasking than others? Hallowell: No one really multitasks. You just spend less time on any one thing. When it looks like you're multitasking--you're looking at one TV screen and another TV screen and you're talking on the telephone--your attention has to shift from one to the other. You're brain literally can't multitask. You can't pay attention to two things simultaneously. You're switching back and forth between the two. So you're paying less concerted attention to either one. I think in general, why some people can do well at what they call multitasking is because the effort to do it is so stimulating. You get adrenaline pumping that helps focus your mind. What you're really doing is focusing better at brief spurts on each stimulus. So you don't get bored with either one. for more information: http://www.news.com/Why-cant-you-pay-attention-anymore/2008-1022_3-5637632.html ---------------------------- Have you ever noticed this? Have you ever thought "multitasking" can bring the ailment? Are you the one at risk? How do you deal with it?

I have been advice numerous number of girls: Don't think of getting a partner.Otherwise it won't come to you. How does this psycologically works with men and women? I know a girl can sniff a desperate guy. For many years, I've always wanted a partner, but until this day, I'm still available. It kinda degrades my spirit most of the time. Check out my previous forum also: ""I feel good and fortunate to be a girl" http://www.thailandfriends.com/index.php?name=DB_phpBB2&file=viewtopic&p=105028#105028

http://www.queendom.com/tests/minitests/fx/people_pleaser.html I got 30 :shock: You had a low score on the people-pleasing scale, which means you have your limits and are able to say "no" when others ask too much of you. You trust your own opinion and ability to make decisions, and don't rely on the views of others to guide your every-waking move. Although some people (those with the disease to please) would interpret this as selfishness, this doesn't mean that you only think of yourself. You probably still want to make others happy and care about their well-being, but you aren't willing to sacrifice your own needs for them. You've got a pretty high self-esteem and the assertiveness skills to stand up for yourself. Just be sure not to go to the other extreme of people pleasing, which would be a demanding, self-serving nature. As long as you still consider other people's feelings, you've got a healthy approach. Way to go!

Well, recently with the new "moderation" policies I have seen things change and also have observed the change in people. Now the following passages are taken from Zimbardos famous "Simulation Study of the Psychology of Imprisonment Conducted at Stanford University" This simulation gave people an shocking insight into the psychology of life behind bars, even in a simulated setting people quickly adopted new personas often acting complately out of character and at times seemingly losing touch with reality. Now as "cyberspace" develops and we see "onlice communities" develop these "communities" develop and at some point, someone will suggest a system of "moderation" or to keep the community "guarded" Now as a little bit of fun, I have likened certain aspects of online moderation and psychology to that of the Stanford Experiment: FOR THIS PASSAGE LET'S REPLACE THE WORD "GUARDS" WITH "MODERATORS" The guards were given no specific training on how to be guards. Instead they were free, within limits, to do whatever they thought was necessary to maintain law and order in the prison and to command the respect of the prisoners. The guards made up their own set of rules, which they then carried into effect under the supervision of Warden David Jaffe, an undergraduate from Stanford University. They were warned, however, of the potential seriousness of their mission and of the possible dangers in the situation they were about to enter, as, of course, are real guards who voluntarily take such a dangerous job. FOR THIS PASSAGE LET'S REPLACE "UNIFORMS OF KHAKI" WITH 10 GOLD STARS AND THE "WHISTLE AND BILLY CLUB" WITH ADDED MODERATOR ENFORCEMENT PRIVALAGES, "MIRRORED SUNGLASSES" CAN BE REPLACES BY ANNONYMOUS MODERATION ENFORCEMENT. All guards were dressed in identical uniforms of khaki, and they carried a whistle around their neck and a billy club borrowed from the police. Guards also wore special sun-glasses, an idea I borrowed from the movie "Cool Hand Luke." Mirror sunglasses prevented anyone from seeing their eyes or reading their emotions, and thus helped to further promote their anonymity. We were, of course, studying not only the prisoners but also the guards, who found themselves in a new power-laden role. FOR THIS SECTION WE CAN TAKE GUARDS AS MODERATORS AND PRISONERS AS TF USERS. Asserting Authority The guards, too, were feeling out their new roles and were not yet sure how to assert authority over their prisoners. This was the beginning of a series of direct confrontations between the guards and prisoners. WHEN A PROBLEM AROSE GUARDS WANTED BACK UP, IN THIS PASSAGE LET'S SUBSTITUTE CALLS AS A MODERATOR GROUP MESSAGE BEING SENT OUT FOR "REINFORCEMENTS" AND THE GUARDS MEETING AS THE MOFERATOR FORUM. At first they insisted that reinforcements be called in. The three guards who were waiting on stand-by call at home came in and the night shift of guards voluntarily remained on duty to bolster the morning shift. The guards met and decided to treat force with force. Psychology of cyberspace..........what ya reckon? It's all good fun....... :twisted: