a god of my own choosing.

[steevolution]

WARNING: this is the rant of an ignorant small insignificant man against the powers in the universe over which he has no control (other than pleading, whining, begging, and offering coconuts and bunches of bananas).

if you have half a brain, you will stick your fingers in your ears, turn your back, and walk away.

and they say idle hands are the Devil's playground:

due to events attached to the recent upheaval, the (tire)Burning of Bangkok, i've engaged in some deep introspection and self-examination. i was required by outside, overpowering, irresistable forces to look deep within myself, evaluate my motivations and the direction of my life.

the conclusion i've reached is that i've lost my moral compass. i've lost all sense of proportion. i have forgotten what my place is in the world. without some higher power to remind me of acceptable behavior and action, well i'm just an ape with a hard-on, imposing himself on decent right-thinking folk. i need help.

what is necessary in my life is some narrowly interpreted, codified belief system to keep me on the right path. where can i find this? looking over that final final word in truth and wisdom, the TF Philosophy and Religion forum, i came across the Atheism Thread. unfortunately i tangled my clumsy mental feetworks in whether or not a true athiest says there is no god, or says she believes there is no god. it all went over my head, so atheism is definitely not the higher power i'm looking for. the invisible pink unicorn, and the giant spaghettimonster that some of you have chosen to surrender your free will to, well i've never seen an invisible unicorn or a spaghettimonster, so i'd have trouble making either one of these gods personal enough (and i'm told it's important to have a close working/speaking --hello imaginary friend-- relationship with your god). the god of Abraham? well i'm sorry, but any god that outlaws iPads on any day, or Crocs on Saturday is out. Mohammed's god, i like the multiple wife thing, but i don't really wash my hands that often and those crazy intense mofos wash their hands, faces, and behind their ears at least four times a day! the broomstick in the corner of the AAA people, i just can't get inspired. the Buddha i don't see as divine, and i'm not giving that up anyway. what is left, other than sacrificing myself upon the Consumerist Altar of White Skin?

well She was revealed to me in my youth, by a renowned (hated by the haters) San Francisco radio personality. this dark tinted man proposed that we should have a dark tinted female god. one that we could all imagine what she looked like. he called her The Big-Assed Black Woman in the Sky. Well, it's taken me all this time to "come to Jesus" (so to speak). but may i say IMA FEELIN IT NOW. HALLELUJAH!!! and just so You know i held You close in times of trouble in the past, Big Mama: http://www.thailandfriends.com/index.php?name=Journal&view=journal&jid=57957&juid=34002 and here http://www.thailandfriends.com/index.php?name=Journal&view=journal&jid=62029&juid=34002

sincerest apologies for taking all this time to FULLY embrace You.

now exactly what does the deity whose feet i have resolved to lick look like? i need a picture in my mind so i may fear Her properly. i'm thinkin the size and assheft of Queen Latifa (just to pick a black woman we can all google an image of easily). but Queen Latifa is a friendly soul. would she allow children to die cancerous, or the conception of **** Cheney? i think not. no. The Big Assed Black Woman in the Sky has a Fierce and Terrible Visage. think Medusa. those long and tangled braids are writhing snakes. and if you dare to look her in the eye, she will indeed turn man to stone.

as for her style, well many of us are maggots, are we not? don't expect warning or conversation, you deserve no more than ferocious justice from above, applied arbitrarily, unexpectedly, as the phase of the moon and the weather dictate. imagine a personality built on amphetamines in the morning, yaba at noon, and a handful of downers washed down with a glass of red wine so's She can sleep at night (Cali boto ganster style. i do hear it makes a woman feel like King Kong). that's the kind of god a wretch like me deserves.

"FOR BEHOLD, She is the Lord, and She will strike down with furious vengeance and a fury upon thee, if you molest Her chosen feeble and Her weak." [Ezekiel somethin somethin]

i apologize, i apologize, i apoligize. i am really feelin the pressure of this curfew. i don't think i'll survive much longer. my skull is bulging from the pressure buildup inside.

[PeeMarc]

you really need to go take a walk dude... or skin up a decent spliff.

[eagle]

you really need to go take a walk dude... or skin up a decent spliff.

sage advice !

[steevolution]

dope fiends. Amazing Randi and i don't defile our pristine consciousnesses with dirtyin dope.

you go right ahead tho.

[drlovelife8]

There is no god but Allah and the phophet Mohammed, peace be upon him, is his final messenger.

[LakeGeneve]

There is no god but Allah and the phophet Mohammed, peace be upon him, is his final messenger.

I was under the impression that your god was your penis?