Interracial Adoption

[Aomazon]

Guys, my previous topic got lots of feedback ( which mostly out of point but it doesnt matter ) Now im back to ask another question... what do think of " Interracial Adoption"

I personally disagree with this becuz the child who was taken away from his/her family will lose their identity... they dont know who they are or where they re from. Maybe they think they belong to another society .

I got to know lots of chinese who ve been adopted n lived in the States... The way they acted made me wanna kick their ass. When we talked bout China, they gave me a stupid attitude ( appearantly they forgot where they re from)

so get back to my point, what do you think ?

[anenglishman]

consider this...it happens to be true.

a thai woman is abandoned by her husband and left with a 2 year old girl. she tries her best over following years but finally falls into the hands of very bad people..the mafia. she gambles until she has nothing and then she meets a farang who helps her a little but refuses to deal with the mafia debt. he is friend, not bf...he likes the kid and feels sorry for the mother.

in a moment of despeartion the mother steals the farang's car (yeah it is me.....). The frang does not panic. He reports the theft anf decides to go and see the kid and gher grandparents. They have notheard from the mother. The farang expresses sympathy and says he will do what he can to find the mother.

8 weeks later he finds the mother but can't go near her for legal reasons. then he hears the kid has been badly hurt in an accident in which her friend was killed.

he goes back up north to find the kid and the grandparents. when he arrives he finds an emotionally distraught child...her firend has died and her mother has abandoned her. he tells the grandparents he will pay the hospital bills, plus monthly allownace for them and for the kid. he says he wiull leave the kid up north for afew months so she can learn to tust him. the, if she is ok, he will bring her to bkk to put herin a good school and give her stability, security and love. And he means it. He further says that if it is in teh best interests of the child he will adopt her so she can gain citizenship of his country.

tell me....did i do wrong? sorry if this seems angry but i am extremly sensitive on this issue. for the record...i have 3 kids already but i treat my thai child 100% as my own. we talk, we trust each other and i think she is happier than she ever was. i know i am.

[patrickbseattle]

Guys, my previous topic got lots of feedback ( which mostly out of point but it doesnt matter ) Now im back to ask another question... what do think of " Interracial Adoption"

I personally disagree with this becuz the child who was taken away from his/her family will lose their identity... they dont know who they are or where they re from. Maybe they think they belong to another society .

I got to know lots of chinese who ve been adopted n lived in the States... The way they acted made me wanna kick their ass. When we talked bout China, they gave me a stupid attitude ( appearantly they forgot where they re from)

so get back to my point, what do you think ?

Well first off,

I cant speak to chinese orphanages but generally speaking in any country they are a dreary place. In the states your more likely to be in a foster home(temporary parents) and the are most likely to be white too. In the US sometimes u hear black people objecting to white parents adopting black children because they wont know how to be black, etc etc

Well seeing that the vast majority of foster parents are also white, they will be growing up with white people anyhow.

But the real issue is this.

If your an orphan and grow up to age 18, you have no social support network, no family, the state is done with you, etc.

If you have a family, you have a family, whether its something like staying in their home while you continue your education or find a new job or

cosigning on a loan.

Being solo in this world is a heavy burden.

And while many parents that adopt a child from a different culture do not raise them with much contact with their birthplace culture, others do not.

I know a Korean girl, adopted by white people, she came here at 1 years old, now she is 26, so she is American by any standard and people still always ask her.

Do u want to see your real parents??

She's always shocked by this question, as says she has parents now and they are real.

[davewatts]

Adoption = buying and selling of a baby in some shape or form

Its all about people with a need to HAVE a baby AND HOW THAT NEED CAN BE SATISFIED

often their are many potive side effect for the children but the prinicpal remains the same. People buying babies

As for inter nation adoptions? Well its the same thing really only the excuses are more plenty and while it is still all about "people with a need to HAVE a baby AND HOW THAT NEED CAN BE SATISFIED

"

the other element here is that it is basicaly asset stripping of a country where people from the rich countries can buy babies from the less rich countries.

All very unprincipled and unethical really but rationalizations over come any such irritants and the industry/trade continues to thrive

[anenglishman]

Adoption = buying and selling of a baby in some shape or form

Its all about people with a need to HAVE a baby AND HOW THAT NEED CAN BE SATISFIED

often their are many potive side effect for the children but the prinicpal remains the same. People buying babies

As for inter nation adoptions? Well its the same thing really only the excuses are more plenty and while it is still all about "people with a need to HAVE a baby AND HOW THAT NEED CAN BE SATISFIED

"

the other element here is that it is basicaly asset stripping of a country where people from the rich countries can buy babies from the less rich countries.

All very unprincipled and unethical really but rationalizations over come any such irritants and the industry/trade continues to thrive

perosnally, i find this comment extremely offensive. unlike u, u dumbass moron, i speak from experience. u clearly have no idea about real life. the sooner u get off this site and back into ur smug, boring cocoon of a life, the better. and if u want to know why u pissed me off try reading the whole thread.

[The Punisher]

consider this...it happens to be true.

a thai woman is abandoned by her husband and left with a 2 year old girl. she tries her best over following years but finally falls into the hands of very bad people..the mafia. she gambles until she has nothing and then she meets a farang who helps her a little but refuses to deal with the mafia debt. he is friend, not bf...he likes the kid and feels sorry for the mother.

in a moment of despeartion the mother steals the farang's car (yeah it is me.....). The frang does not panic. He reports the theft anf decides to go and see the kid and gher grandparents. They have notheard from the mother. The farang expresses sympathy and says he will do what he can to find the mother.

8 weeks later he finds the mother but can't go near her for legal reasons. then he hears the kid has been badly hurt in an accident in which her friend was killed.

he goes back up north to find the kid and the grandparents. when he arrives he finds an emotionally distraught child...her firend has died and her mother has abandoned her. he tells the grandparents he will pay the hospital bills, plus monthly allownace for them and for the kid. he says he wiull leave the kid up north for afew months so she can learn to tust him. the, if she is ok, he will bring her to bkk to put herin a good school and give her stability, security and love. And he means it. He further says that if it is in teh best interests of the child he will adopt her so she can gain citizenship of his country.

tell me....did i do wrong? sorry if this seems angry but i am extremly sensitive on this issue. for the record...i have 3 kids already but i treat my thai child 100% as my own. we talk, we trust each other and i think she is happier than she ever was. i know i am.

By the sounds of it in this case, the child in question is old enough to understand what is going (to a certain degree). She knows who her biological family are as well. I commend you AnEnglishMan.

If the child was adopted as a baby, and brought up knowing no other family other than her adopted one, then yes, I beleive it could lead to problems of identity, no matter how well intentioned the adoptive parents are. This is only my opinion and I do not have any stats. I think adopted children in general (at least in NZ) seem to be more likely to be unsettled through childhood and especially adolescence. Cross-ethnic adoptions would surely enhance this, no?

[The Punisher]

While DaveWatts is a dumbass, I do agree that many (not all) peoples motivation for adoption is self serving. This does not mean that it has to be a bad thing, but could be if the wants of the prospective parents are put above those of the child.

[chrispilok]

I got to know lots of chinese who ve been adopted n lived in the States... The way they acted made me wanna kick their ass. When we talked bout China, they gave me a stupid attitude ( appearantly they forgot where they re from)

quote]

You seem to think that your race should determine your identity.

If a child of chinese ethnicity is adopted as a baby and grows up in a Western Country why should you expect that child to have any different attitudes than their peers? Of course nobody should have "stupid attitudes" but why should the color of your eyes or whatever determine how you think?

[The Punisher]

I got to know lots of chinese who ve been adopted n lived in the States... The way they acted made me wanna kick their ass. When we talked bout China, they gave me a stupid attitude ( appearantly they forgot where they re from)

Race is irrelevant. If you live in US since you were just a toddler, you are not chinese. Why should it be bad if they have no emotional ties to their genetic origins ?

They have not lived there and may or may not be interested in knowing much about it either. If they are happy with their lives in the country and culture they grew up in, why don't you just let them be happy that way, instead of blaming them for "forgetting where they are from" ?

I don't think you have any right to "kick their asses" just because they are happy by having chosen a different approach from yours towards ethnic origins.

What is it with some people who just can't let others be happy the way they are :roll:

I don't think it is irrelevant at all. Peoples apperance can affect their behaviour in numerous different ways, especially if it is ethnically based. Examples could include being friend swith people who have the same background (comfort and acceptance), copying popular/ media driven role models who share the same ethnicity as you, being aware that you look different form most of your peers and therefore behaving differently too.

[davewatts]

Adoption = buying and selling of a baby in some shape or form

Its all about people with a need to HAVE a baby AND HOW THAT NEED CAN BE SATISFIED

often their are many potive side effect for the children but the prinicpal remains the same. People buying babies

As for inter nation adoptions? Well its the same thing really only the excuses are more plenty and while it is still all about "people with a need to HAVE a baby AND HOW THAT NEED CAN BE SATISFIED

"

the other element here is that it is basicaly asset stripping of a country where people from the rich countries can buy babies from the less rich countries.

All very unprincipled and unethical really but rationalizations over come any such irritants and the industry/trade continues to thrive

perosnally, i find this comment extremely offensive. unlike u, u dumbass moron, i speak from experience. u clearly have no idea about real life. the sooner u get off this site and back into ur smug, boring cocoon of a life, the better. and if u want to know why u pissed me off try reading the whole thread.

thats too bad for you- so others cant have an opinion coz u find some unspecified aspect of it offensive?

as for your thread its ramblings with a story that has little or nothing to do with the reality of the issue of "adoptions"

Ideally there should be no such thing as adoptions anywhere but as humanity is bligthed by all manner of ills and greed we see the value of children reduced all the time and so now people who have mney but cant make babies simply "aquire" them which I regard as buying in some shape or form. The point is tha t it is overwhelmingly about what adults want and desire and not what children want or need.

if it were all just about heloing kids then there would any number of ways that people could help.

as I also pointed out the by product of the adoption business/trade/industry/institution .... is usally very good in practice for the child adopted so lets not have someone say i was saying that the practise of adoption was bad for kids on a practical indiviual case as opposed to the principle.

in a better world country, county, town, village people would always have someone to fall on in hard times and people would support each other on that level.

the road to hell is paved with good intentions when people try to rationalise actions that in principle are unethical and ultimately not solutions.

if people were willing to give and expect nothing for that giving in return then how better off kids everywhere would be.

shortsighted well intentioned actions always address the symptoms but not the root causes of the problems.

if any of my family died and there were kids however inconvenient or burdensome it wold be I and im sure my other family members wold never see any of our kin be orphaned which is the main problem. there should always be people close to help out when kids are orphaned.

as to why people give up ther kids that is another symtom of things wrong at a societal level coz nobdy should ever feel that pressure be it economic or otherwise, a world of genuine caring would always have supoorts for people

[Loburt]

I got to know lots of chinese who ve been adopted n lived in the States... The way they acted made me wanna kick their ass. When we talked bout China, they gave me a stupid attitude ( appearantly they forgot where they re from)

Maybe the way you act makes them want to kick your ass. Maybe they think your attitude is stupid - for trying to tell them who they are and what they should be, rather than recognizing their right to decide that for themselves.

Studies show most orphaned children would prefer to stay with their extended families or within their communities. That's not always possible. Extended family and the community may not want them. Often they don't. And so they remain in institutions, which can be horrible places where they receive little or no love and are sometimes abused.

I don't see why any child should be forced to stay in an institution and denied a loving family simply because that family has a different racial or ethnic background, and you don't approve of "race mixing."

That's wrong. In fact, that's just cruel.

[anenglishman]

thats too bad for you- so others cant have an opinion coz u find some unspecified aspect of it offensive?

as for your thread its ramblings with a story that has little or nothing to do with the reality of the issue of "adoptions"

Ideally there should be no such thing as adoptions anywhere but as humanity is bligthed by all manner of ills and greed we see the value of children reduced all the time and so now people who have mney but cant make babies simply "aquire" them which I regard as buying in some shape or form. The point is tha t it is overwhelmingly about what adults want and desire and not what children want or need.

if it were all just about heloing kids then there would any number of ways that people could help.

as I also pointed out the by product of the adoption business/trade/industry/institution .... is usally very good in practice for the child adopted so lets not have someone say i was saying that the practise of adoption was bad for kids on a practical indiviual case as opposed to the principle.

in a better world country, county, town, village people would always have someone to fall on in hard times and people would support each other on that level.

the road to hell is paved with good intentions when people try to rationalise actions that in principle are unethical and ultimately not solutions.

if people were willing to give and expect nothing for that giving in return then how better off kids everywhere would be.

shortsighted well intentioned actions always address the symptoms but not the root causes of the problems.

if any of my family died and there were kids however inconvenient or burdensome it wold be I and im sure my other family members wold never see any of our kin be orphaned which is the main problem. there should always be people close to help out when kids are orphaned.

as to why people give up ther kids that is another symtom of things wrong at a societal level coz nobdy should ever feel that pressure be it economic or otherwise, a world of genuine caring would always have supoorts for people

as in all ur other threads u show ur ignorance of real life. to call u opinionated would be to decry the word "opinion". U do not express opinions....merely prejudices.

[zeusbheld]

thats too bad for you- so others cant have an opinion coz u find some unspecified aspect of it offensive?

as for your thread its ramblings with a story that has little or nothing to do with the reality of the issue of "adoptions"

Ideally there should be no such thing as adoptions anywhere but as humanity is bligthed by all manner of ills and greed we see the value of children reduced all the time and so now people who have mney but cant make babies simply "aquire" them which I regard as buying in some shape or form. The point is tha t it is overwhelmingly about what adults want and desire and not what children want or need.

if it were all just about heloing kids then there would any number of ways that people could help.

as I also pointed out the by product of the adoption business/trade/industry/institution .... is usally very good in practice for the child adopted so lets not have someone say i was saying that the practise of adoption was bad for kids on a practical indiviual case as opposed to the principle.

in a better world country, county, town, village people would always have someone to fall on in hard times and people would support each other on that level.

the road to hell is paved with good intentions when people try to rationalise actions that in principle are unethical and ultimately not solutions.

if people were willing to give and expect nothing for that giving in return then how better off kids everywhere would be.

shortsighted well intentioned actions always address the symptoms but not the root causes of the problems.

if any of my family died and there were kids however inconvenient or burdensome it wold be I and im sure my other family members wold never see any of our kin be orphaned which is the main problem. there should always be people close to help out when kids are orphaned.

as to why people give up ther kids that is another symtom of things wrong at a societal level coz nobdy should ever feel that pressure be it economic or otherwise, a world of genuine caring would always have supoorts for people

as in all ur other threads u show ur ignorance of real life. to call u opinionated would be to decry the word "opinion". U do not express opinions....merely prejudices.

davewatts, sigmundyfreudy, etc. is all the same guy, a permanently-banned windup toy who insists on donning the armor of the keyboard warrior to have a go at this website now and then.

as much as he likes to pretend, he's not here for any kind of debate, so don't take him too seriously. it can be fun to pick holes in his so-called "logic" though. generally it should be obvious from his posts that underneath the facade of this dull little twerp is a misantrhope parading as a moralist. (whereas, i suppose, i'm a misanthrope parading as um... a misanthrope).

spiroidal: to give you further insight into this major literary and philosophical talent, one of his previous windups was "hitler wasn't so bad."

[GoldMember]

. I should have clarified that if living in a city like .... Sydney ...... - race is more or less irrelevant because the vast variety of ethnic origins found there. In places like that you do not feel different, no matter where you come from because so many around you come from all over the world.

Wonder how many Lebanese would agree?

That slightly tongue in cheek comment aside,generally speaking whatever the mass media make about mulitculturalism in cities like LA,NYC ,London,Sydney etc---like its all one big happy lovey-dovey family,the reality is somewhat less rosy, especially for the many that live in poverty ridden ghettos.