CiaranM Posted January 27, 2005 Report Share Posted January 27, 2005 can't usually be arsed posting topics as i don't usually have the time or inclination, but somebody seems to feel if we don't post topics we r not entitled to voice our opinions .... so .... how do girls (or anyone) on TF feel about someone who comes on here and his 1st two journals are (to my mind) unjustified comments on"normal" thai girls ?? 1st stating how thai girls always expect a guy to pick up the bill at the end of the night and the 2nd how 2 thai girls took advantage of a poor innocent farang by dragging him around shopping and then not giving him a f**k at the end of the day ... well for number 1 i would always expect to pay the bill when i take any girl out on a date whether she is thai, asian, african or farang, but it is also up to each individual if they feel happy/comfortable asking their date to share the bill. for number 2 if a guy is that stupid well what more can i add than what i have already said. however, my main point is this ... this is TF (Thailandfriends) and i have visited several sites which r just continuous bitching about how bad thai girls are, how stupid farangs are, thai girls are just after ur money, farang guys think they can have any thai girl for money etc ... i guess u get the picture. now i may be wrong but my initial impressions are : 1. The vast majority of girls on TF are decent girls and do not deserve to be bracketed with the type of girls mentioned in the 2 journals. 2. (Hopefully) some of the guys in TF will have enough brains not to spend 5,000 baht taking some girl they have never met b4 shopping. Or if they have enough money and are happy enough to do this, they don't then start bitching if they don't get a f**k. 3. Bearing in mind the above two points i feel journals or posts like these 2 are not needed on TF and only portray the negative aspect of both thais and farangs in thailand. they only serve to stir up resentment and usually end up in mud slinging sessions. 1 site i used to visit ended up barring any reference to bar girls on it's site things got that bad ... however, this is only my opinion and anybody who wants to in free to add their own views/opinions/comments ... if u agree with me obviously u have read the post carefully and fully understand it, if u disagree with me re-read it until u DO agree with me as it is blatantly obvious to a blind man I AM RIGHT >>> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sabaisabai Posted January 27, 2005 Report Share Posted January 27, 2005 sorry...too long...ill read it another time... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farangnbkk Posted January 27, 2005 Report Share Posted January 27, 2005 Well, now that's out, Do you feel better? Why haven't you burped yet? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zeusbheld Posted January 27, 2005 Report Share Posted January 27, 2005 ciaran, while i agree with you on points one and two, i strongly disagree on point three. i dont think a) he was making a generalization about ALL normal thai girls do this. it was one anecdote, and while it's a variation on a familar theme, it's not without interest, judging by the level of responses. any heated debate can degenerate into personal attacks. i think heated debates are good. the same thing happens in political discussions. c) if you dont like a post that's not attacking anyone you can skip it. for example i love him dearly but i often dont read celticcola's posts if they're longer than a4... as an aside about paying bills, in addition to date etiquette, in my experience all over asia, it's rare to "go dutch" with anyone--the person who invites pays. true of friends as well as dates. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zeusbheld Posted January 27, 2005 Report Share Posted January 27, 2005 going 'Dutch' - that where you both share the bill right ?i prefer to go 'Cockney' - thats when you eat the meal, ask where the toilet is and then run out the restaurant without paying :twisted: LOL i prefer the girl pays for the privilege of being serviced by me. zeus b ho Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sabaisabai Posted January 27, 2005 Report Share Posted January 27, 2005 1. The vast majority of girls on TF are decent girls and do not deserve to be bracketed with the type of girls mentioned in the 2 journals.2. (Hopefully) some of the guys in TF will have enough brains not to spend 5,000 baht taking some girl they have never met b4 shopping. Or if they have enough money and are happy enough to do this, they don't then start bitching if they don't get a f**k. 3. Bearing in mind the above two points i feel journals or posts like these 2 are not needed on TF and only portray the negative aspect of both thais and farangs in thailand. they only serve to stir up resentment and usually end up in mud slinging sessions. Alrighty then... Ive read it... Can't say i disagree with your statements...except for the 3rd one.. i beleive in freedom of speech. If u get upset by someone's journal...and start participating with mud slinging sessions...its your choice... *sabaisabai* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CiaranM Posted January 28, 2005 Author Report Share Posted January 28, 2005 you're absolutely right....and everybody else is absolutely wrong....thank god we have ciaran to tell us how it is!.....frankly...i don't have the energy to read and reread until i agree with your self-promoting rantings...i ain't gettin any younger.....get a life....change the topic...grow up! if you're gonna post....POST!....but for God sakes....tell us how feel! well if u have read my posts even once and don't know how i feel, i would suggest this displays a severe lack of intelligence on ur part. and i don't see anything here that is remotely self-promoting .............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eagle Posted January 28, 2005 Report Share Posted January 28, 2005 Hideko your good!!! that was some slash and burn. Always wonder why so many guys jump in when it is about how women feel. Hope someone was listening Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zeusbheld Posted January 28, 2005 Report Share Posted January 28, 2005 Here is how I feel... :arrow: Well if she does that, obviously she doesn't fancy you thats why you don't get what you are expecting. And think about it, why would she pay for meals or drinks when she has to spend hours or be seen with someone like you, actually you should be grateful for that. I would like to suggest you to find another one who you can directly pay to have sex. That will save your time and energy in the shopping mall. :roll: SNAP! nice one Hideko. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loburt Posted January 28, 2005 Report Share Posted January 28, 2005 This post is such bull, Ciaran, One the one hand you're complaining when moderators tell you to knock off or tone down your profanity-laced personal missives and stick to the issues, saying it will turn TF into the dullest site in Asia. On the other hand you're saying topics that inspire heated debate should not be allowed because they might cause some bad feeling between people. I didn't read Money Pt 1, but Money Pt 2 didn't say anything such as "all Thai girls are this or that" or all farang guys are this or that. There was situation presented for discussion. No one said it was emblematic of all poeple. Furthermore, if Thai girls didn't like the post they were free to comment upon it, which several of them did. None of them seemed offended by the post itself. And several of them came to different conclusions then you did about the tale. I tend to regard most of the Thai women on this site as reasonably intelligent, strong and mature people who can defend themselves and debate or take on others with whom they disagree. They don't need special rules on the site to protect their supposedly delicate feelings. If someone makes a post that blatantly says something like all Thai women are money grubbing whores, well of course that would get banned. That's just plain offensive and a negative stereotype. But we're all human, and as such we all have some less than stellar qualities that can inspire discussion and debate, and that goes for Thai girls too. There have been plenty of less-than-flattering comments about some of the negative behaviors of some middle-aged falang guys in the forums made by Thai women. We get blamed for all the country's problems by a few people. Should we just ban those kinds of things to protect the feelings of middle aged falang guys? I don't think so. Just as I don't think we need to do it for Thai girls. If you think we do then you're actually treating them unequally. Advancing the status of women doesn't mean they get special treatment. It means they get equal treatment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khun_lung Posted January 28, 2005 Report Share Posted January 28, 2005 By the way "going Dutch" in the Thai language is "American share" so don't think the Dutchmen have a patent on it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zeusbheld Posted January 28, 2005 Report Share Posted January 28, 2005 By the way "going Dutch" in the Thai language is "American share" so don't think the Dutchmen have a patent on it! um... sorry guys... that was me... i'm the american who made that happen... sorry to the rest of you yanks if i made you look cheap and stingy... my bad... LOBURT: ciaran's just sensitive. he's hurt because i've been oppressing him. i'm the unfair moderator in question. my bad. as for your comments on the post, i agree the author in NO WAY implied that this example was typical. i agree, what's the problem? CIARAN: have another tissue, it'll be alright. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loburt Posted January 28, 2005 Report Share Posted January 28, 2005 LOBURT: ciaran's just sensitive. he's hurt because i've been oppressing him. i'm the unfair moderator in question. my bad. as for your comments on the post, i agree the author in NO WAY implied that this example was typical. i agree, what's the problem? Um, I think Ciaran's initial complaint about moderators was directed at me after I told he and frankenburner to cool down and not get personal. as for your second point, there's no problem. why do you think there's a problem? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OutOfOrder Posted January 28, 2005 Report Share Posted January 28, 2005 Hasn't it been globalized (globally recognized) that men should pay for the first uptill the 300th date? hmmm.... :wink: well, there was a time and older lady educated me about this... and that is that...If a 'gentleman is a gentleman - he should not let the lady pay' ... nice theme :wink: :wink: But,with my ex...though i let him pay for meals and stuff but i'd always buy something back for him.. eg, if i knew he was up to something (like re-decorating the garden for instance, then i'd buy him the garden magazines... And I was always in charge of the photography department (getting films developed)... and buy him shampoo...hair gel etc etc ...U know how men dont really go shopping...! (Though, my ex was too darn nice... so if i bought him something - he'd buy me something back!!... so it's a never ending story...) :oops: hehe So i think, the girls also shouldn't just take and take ... I don't think that its about the money but it's a matter of how much you appreciate the other person. Same thing for the guy - like, if he's not willing to pick up the bill, not that it only makes him appear so 'cheap' ... but it also identifies that he doesn't feel that the time he spent with the woman was worth it. But anyways, CiaranM, if the blokes need to write journals about it...let them do... BUT DON'T forget to forward me the journal so i can help take part of the fuss!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zeusbheld Posted January 28, 2005 Report Share Posted January 28, 2005 LOBURT: ciaran's just sensitive. he's hurt because i've been oppressing him. i'm the unfair moderator in question. my bad. as for your comments on the post, i agree the author in NO WAY implied that this example was typical. i agree, what's the problem? Um, I think Ciaran's initial complaint about moderators was directed at me after I told he and frankenburner to cool down and not get personal. as for your second point, there's no problem. why do you think there's a problem? i think that ciaran's initial complaint was directed at you but subsequent complaints are available in the money 2 thread and are directed at me. the bulk of them are directed at me in fact. and as for a problem, well.. *i* dont have a problem with it, and if ciaran does i offered him some options for seeking to redress the injustices i've inflicted upon him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CiaranM Posted January 28, 2005 Author Report Share Posted January 28, 2005 This post is such bull, Ciaran, well that's part of the reason why i don't usually bother posting ... Re: how do you feel about....Posted: 27 Jan 2005 10:44 pm -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- frankenburner2 wrote: how do you feel about people who read other people's forum posts, b*tch and complain about its content....and never really have anything constructive to say.....or even...don't bother to put their ideas in a post so others can b*tch and complain....if you ain't got nothin' nice to say....at least try and be constructive! so i thought just this once i should post something and i did tell ppl to feel free to post whatever they wanted .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zeusbheld Posted January 28, 2005 Report Share Posted January 28, 2005 This post is such bull, Ciaran, well that's part of the reason why i don't usually bother posting ... Re: how do you feel about....Posted: 27 Jan 2005 10:44 pm -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- frankenburner2 wrote: how do you feel about people who read other people's forum posts, b*tch and complain about its content....and never really have anything constructive to say.....or even...don't bother to put their ideas in a post so others can b*tch and complain....if you ain't got nothin' nice to say....at least try and be constructive! so i thought just this once i should post something and i did tell ppl to feel free to post whatever they wanted .... i thought this thread you posted was legit, regardless of whether i agreed with it. but wait a minute... what are you saying now??? ok. so let me get this straight: you posted here, and told ppl to feel free to post whatever they wanted. CHECK. got it. Loburt posted "this post is such bull" CHECK. got it. you replied "well that's part of the reason why i don't usually bother posting" CHECK. got it. OK then, you tell ppl to post whatever they wanted, what does that mean really then? if you dont like what they posted you're going to sulk and not post anymore? is that the point your'e trying to make here? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CiaranM Posted January 28, 2005 Author Report Share Posted January 28, 2005 Re: how do you feel about....Posted: 27 Jan 2005 10:44 pm -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- frankenburner2 wrote: how do you feel about people who read other people's forum posts, b*tch and complain about its content....and never really have anything constructive to say.....or even...don't bother to put their ideas in a post so others can b*tch and complain....if you ain't got nothin' nice to say....at least try and be constructive! so i thought just this once i should post something and i did tell ppl to feel free to post whatever they wanted .... i thought this thread you posted was legit, regardless of whether i agreed with it. but wait a minute... what are you saying now??? ok. so let me get this straight: you posted here, and told ppl to feel free to post whatever they wanted. CHECK. got it. Loburt posted "this post is such bull" CHECK. got it. you replied "well that's part of the reason why i don't usually bother posting" CHECK. got it. OK then, you tell ppl to post whatever they wanted, what does that mean really then? if you dont like what they posted you're going to sulk and not post anymore? is that the point your'e trying to make here? okkkkkkkk ... i assumed (maybe incorrectly) that Loburt was labelling the "topic" as being bull ... CHECK.u got that. my reply was meant to convey that i don't usually post Topics or Journals. CHECK. u got that. however i do occassionally comment on other ppl's Topics and Journals. but after franken's complaint i thought it only fair to give others the chance to ***** and complain. and no i didn't mean i would sulk and not post any more, not really in my nature to sulk for more than 5 minutes as i can't keep quiet for any longer than that (and even 5 minutes is a struggle sometimes). i told ppl to post whatever they wanted as i was interested in ppl's views on the topic (even if the topic was bull). sorry if my poor use of english confused anybody hope this helps to clarify things for U. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jhoney Posted January 28, 2005 Report Share Posted January 28, 2005 CiaranM : you are right, I do agree. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zeusbheld Posted January 28, 2005 Report Share Posted January 28, 2005 okkkkkkkk ...... hope this helps to clarify things for U. ok. got it. that makes sense. fair enough. ps as i said waaaaaaay above i agreed with points one and two you made but not 3. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loburt Posted January 28, 2005 Report Share Posted January 28, 2005 I'm with zeus on this. I agree with 1 and 2. It's 3 where you go astray. I guess we'll have to punish you. Where would you like it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zeusbheld Posted January 28, 2005 Report Share Posted January 28, 2005 um... can i be punished too? i have been a bad boy. i guess bobby spears or melanie will need to do it as i am in new york. OH! WAIT! i have my thesis defense tomorrow. that will be punishment enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CiaranM Posted January 28, 2005 Author Report Share Posted January 28, 2005 3. Bearing in mind the above two points i feel journals or posts like these 2 are not needed on TF and only portray the negative aspect of both thais and farangs in thailand. they only serve to stir up resentment and usually end up in mud slinging sessions. 1 site i used to visit ended up barring any reference to bar girls on it's site things got that bad ... ehhhhhhh .... what is soooooooooo wrong with point 3 ????? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loburt Posted January 28, 2005 Report Share Posted January 28, 2005 we just spent two and a half pages telling you what's wrong with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zeusbheld Posted January 28, 2005 Report Share Posted January 28, 2005 3. Bearing in mind the above two points i feel journals or posts like these 2 are not needed on TF and only portray the negative aspect of both thais and farangs in thailand. they only serve to stir up resentment and usually end up in mud slinging sessions. 1 site i used to visit ended up barring any reference to bar girls on it's site things got that bad ... ehhhhhhh .... what is soooooooooo wrong with point 3 ????? they portray a negative aspect but in a very specific narrative and not in attempt to draw general conclusions based on stereotypes. i see the moderator role as merely slowing things down when the mud slinging starts, i think it's OK if ppl disagree to the point of resenting each other. i am a big fan of free speech, but even where it's protected by the constitution (US for example) there are legitimate limits (slander, libel, and even assault). so the short version: his was a fair post, although i rather sharply disagree with his point, dont like the example and havent experienced what he illustrates. i much more am in agreement with this thread you started, except #3, what i dont agree with is that i do not feel it is my place as moderator or to eliminate the thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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