PSYCHOLOGY of CHATROOMS

[PeeMarc]

I came across this info and just wanted to share it. Perhaps I should have posted it on my journals. Either way, discussion and opinions on this would be great.

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Internet Psychology Reveals Why People Lurk & Don't Participate

Lurking In Chat Rooms

Most internet surfers lurk on forums, chat rooms, and discussions instead of participating. Here's why we lurk in chat rooms (some of us really do fear chat rooms).

Lurking in chat rooms is part of internet psychology. Specifically, lurking in chat rooms is defined as "the tendency of internet surfers to loiter in chat rooms, forums, and website discussions instead of actively participating." (Chat room psychology isn't a technological term, and neither is lurker psychology. It's not a psychological disorder either -- not yet, anyway!)

Chat room psychology may be the next big trend in internet psychology. Soon ? if there's not already ? there will be chat room psychology research grants to study the effects of loitering on discussion forums.

Here's why we lurk in chat rooms instead of actively participating.

Lurking in chat rooms: The answer is too obvious

If a question is answered authoritatively in a chat room, there's no need to answer it again or even discuss the topic. Or, lurkers in chat rooms may not feel qualified to answer specific questions. For example, "Should I leave my boyfriend?" may be too difficult and vague to answer. "Should I leave my abusive, cheating, lying, stealing, alcoholic, incarcerated boyfriend?" seems too obvious (the answer to that is "yes" by the way).

Lurking in chat rooms: Fear

Lurkers may fear ridicule, teasing, or humiliation. The island I live on has a community forum; for months I was afraid to post on it because people posted rude and insensitive remarks in the past. The forum has changed a great deal since then and I participate when I have something to offer ? but I am careful what I say. I live with my fellow posters on a little island, after all!

Lurking in chat rooms: Boring topics

Perhaps lurkers just aren't all that excited about the topics.

Lurking in chat rooms: Self-confidence

It's possible that lurkers don't have the self-confidence or self-esteem to share their opinion or knowledge. They're self-conscious about making their presence known; they'd rather just watch the interaction between others. Like watching a play or being a voyeur.

Lurking in chat rooms: Voyeurism

If you're a voyeur, you get sexual pleasure from watching other people. Most psychologists/psychiatrists classify it as psychological disorder. Lurking in chat rooms is a type of voyeurism, but not necessarily a psychological disorder.

Other reasons we lurk in chat rooms:

overbearing or arrogant posters (that's off-putting)

slow typists (takes too long to write)

lack of time (even for fast typists)

past disappointments

bad experiences

goofy or thoughtless answers from others

concern about grammar or spelling mistakes

These are valid and fair reasons to lurk in chat rooms, but it's more fun to participate ? like with everything else in life! Getting involved is an adventure that can change your perspective, habits, and attitudes. Lurking in chat rooms isn't as rewarding as actually participating.

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8 Signs of Internet Addiction:

Millions of Users are Addicted to the World Wide Web

Is internet addiction a symptom of other psychological conditions such as depression or obsessive compulsive disorder? Find out here. Plus, 8 signs of internet addiction.

Some psychological conditions such as depression or obsessive compulsive disorder encompass other symptoms, such as internet addiction. Whether excessive internet use or internet addiction is part of a bigger mental health issue or is in its own category of psychological disorder is still being determined.

Signs of internet addiction include excessive internet use and poor relationships.

Internet addiction: how much is too much?

Researchers at Stanford University conducted studies in 2005 and 2006 about internet addiction, but have not reached a consensus about how much time is ?too much? and is therefore a problem. Is one hour a day too much indicative of internet addiction? Three hours? Seven? Three is the average number of hours per day computer users spend on the internet. Whether this indicates an internet addiction in the scientific research world is separate from whether it's a problem in your household or life. Internet addiction may be a relative term.

A "small but growing number" of internet users are seeking medical help, says Elias Aboujaoude (assistant professor in psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Stanford). The drive to constantly check e-mail and visit chat rooms (signs of internet addiction) is similar to the struggles of substance abusers or impulse control disorders (such as obsessive compulsive disorder). Internet addiction may be as difficult to overcome as any other addiction.

Who is most likely to struggle with internet addictions?

Singles and young people are most likely to be addicted to the internet, perhaps because singles have more free time at home and young people are more comfortable with daily computer use, because they grew up with it. Even more specifically, single white college-educated men in their 30's are most likely to spend over 30 hours a week on non-essential computer use, which could lead to internet addiction. Even if some of this time is spent on creating and building internet relationships -- it may be unhealthy.

As with any addiction, an internet addiction can be a serious problem.

Signs of internet addictions:

1.You check your email every five minutes, and spend more time in chat rooms than chatting in your living room with friends and family.

2. Your relationships suffer because of your internet use. Weak relationships are a sign of internet addiction.

3. Your family and friends complain about your computer use (a sure sign of internet addiction is friends complaining).

4. You hide the amount of time you spend on the internet. This is a strong sign of internet addiction.

5. You hide the websites you surf. Secrecy is a sign of internet addiction.

6. You use your computer to escape problems or avoid reality (this could be a huge sign of an internet addiction or other psychological disorders)

7. You have a hard time staying off the computer for a day or two.

8. You feel preoccupied by the internet when you?re not online. This is a sign of internet addiction.

Pay attention to the signs of internet addiction, because it can overtake your life. Dealing with an internet addiction can involve seeking medical or theraputic help, or simply limiting the amount of time you spend surfing or blogging. To beat an internet addiction, try new activities. Take a class or join a team -- often, kicking an internet addiction involves incorporating new activities into your life.

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Finding Love on the Internet:

Internet dating sites can be highly successful and even fun, but be careful when you're dating online. Consider these factors before you look for love on the internet

Think you can't find love on the internet, or that you'll get conned? Think again. One of my friends married her husband within three months of meeting through an online dating service. They were both unhappily single so they tried a Christian internet dating site - and now they've been happily married for five years. Now, after three years of marriage and one son, they wouldn't change a thing about finding love on the internet.

Internet dating is so popular that a single friend once asked me, "Well, how else am I going to meet someone?" Indeed, finding love on the internet often seems to be the only option for singles dating.

Internet dating sites are becoming the rule, not the exception. More and more people are building successful relationships after finding love on the internet - and they aren't afraid to share their experiences with internet dating.

What you should know before finding love on the internet:

Researchers at the University of Bath discovered some internet dating facts:

94% of couples who met online keep seeing each another, but only if they spent a significant amount of time getting to know one another online before meeting the first time. Before you find love online, you should spend time really getting to know someone. Internet dating takes time.

Internet dating relationships lasted an average of seven months.

Men are more committed to online relationships and more dependent on their "e-partner" than women, possibly because it's easier for them to honestly share opinions and emotions in writing (women, more relational than men, may bond better in person). Finding love on the internet dating is different for men and women.

Couples rarely use webcams because they prefer the anonymity of writing and e-mailing when internet dating. Not all online dating services encourage webcams.

These researchers found that online relationships last as long as traditional relationships, which means you have a good chance of finding love on the internet.

[robbie36]

I am convinced that humans really worry what to do with their spare time.

There really is a lot of it you think about it (or dont have a family).

Other animals just dont seem bothered. Really puzzles me.

[PeeMarc]

I am convinced that humans really worry what to do with their spare time.

There really is a lot of it you think about it (or dont have a family).

Other animals just dont seem bothered. Really puzzles me.

Agree. We humans are a very odd species indeed. Endlessly fascinating.

[zeusbheld]

interesting, but i think the researchers at the University of Bath have their heads up their asses.

whenever i've seen people spend too much time getting to know each other online before actually meeting, then even if they get together their relationship has an air of unreality, of net fantasy, to it.

i'd say just the opposite, exchange a few emails but meet in person ASAP.

[Geri]

Ok, I admit. I am an internet addict.

[PeeMarc]

interesting, but i think the researchers at the University of Bath have their heads up their asses.

whenever i've seen people spend too much time getting to know each other online before actually meeting, then even if they get together their relationship has an air of unreality, of net fantasy, to it.

i'd say just the opposite, exchange a few emails but meet in person ASAP.

Im with you in that one Zues. Nothing can beat 2 humans meeting face to face. Sorts out most things really.

To me, the most interesting part of this was the parallel they try to draw between internet addiction or obsession and other addictions such as drugs or alcohol. The latter requires definately 'enabers' to fuel and assist the addiction. So im wondering who play these 'roles' if one is 'addicted' to the internet.

[afook06]

geri: be careful.........because lurking in chatrooms with a bunch of childlish guys could get you arrested.........

[zeusbheld]

To me, the most interesting part of this was the parallel they try to draw between internet addiction or obsession and other addictions such as drugs or alcohol. The latter requires definately 'enabers' to fuel and assist the addiction. So im wondering who play these 'roles' if one is 'addicted' to the internet.

i think a distinction should be made between the kind of addiction wherein you have physical withdrawal symptoms when you quit (heroin, alcohol, nicotine, etc) and psychological dependence.

if viewed as the latter, i can buy the parallel, although i want to make it perfectly clear: i can quit at any time.

as to enablers....www.thailandfriends.com, TOT....

[PeeMarc]

To me, the most interesting part of this was the parallel they try to draw between internet addiction or obsession and other addictions such as drugs or alcohol. The latter requires definately 'enabers' to fuel and assist the addiction. So im wondering who play these 'roles' if one is 'addicted' to the internet.

i think a distinction should be made between the kind of addiction wherein you have physical withdrawal symptoms when you quit (heroin, alcohol, nicotine, etc) and psychological dependence.

if viewed as the latter, i can buy the parallel, although i want to make it perfectly clear: i can quit at any time.

as to enablers....www.thailandfriends.com, TOT....

Hmmm....ok, i buy the addiction distinction, for the moment until gather thoughts on that.

As to the enablers, here's and except from Eric Bernes 'Games People Play' where he discribes the 'Game' of 'alcaholic'. You can see the enablers here.

What are the equivillants in internet addiction I wonder, since most other addictions follow a similar pattern of enablers?

Alcoholic: A Life Game

In game analysis, there is no such thing as alcoholism or "an alcoholic," but there is a role called the Alcoholic in a certain type of game. If a biochemical or physiological abnormality is the prime mover in excessive drinking - and that is still open to some question - then its study belongs in the field of internal medicine. Game analysis is interested in something quite different - the kinds of social transactions that are related to such excesses. Hence the game "Alcoholic."

In its full flower this is a five-handed game, although the roles may be condensed so that it starts off and terminates as a two-handed one. The central role is that of the Alcoholic - the one who is "it" - played by White. The chief supporting role is that of the Persecutor, typically played by a member of the opposite sex, usually the spouse. The third role is that of Rescuer, usually played by someone of the same sex, often the good family doctor who is interested in the patient and also in drinking problems. In the classical situation the doctor successfully rescues the alcoholic from his habit. After White has not taken a drink for six months, they congratulate each other. The following day, White is found in the gutter.

The fourth role is that of the Patsy, or Dummy. In literature, this is played by the delicatessen man who extends credit to White, gives him a sandwich on the cuff or perhaps a cup of coffee, without either persecuting him or trying to rescue him. In life this is more frequently played by White's mother, who gives him money and often sympathizes with him about the wife who does not understand him. In this aspect of the game, White is required to account in some plausible way for his need for money - by some project in which both pretend to believe, although they know what he is really going to spend most of the money for. Sometimes the Patsy slides over into another role, which is a helpful but not essential one: the Agitator, the "good guy" who offers supplies without even being asked for them: "Come have a drink with me (and you will go downhill faster)."

The ancillary professional in all drinking games is the bartender or liquor clerk. In the game "Alcoholic" he plays the fifth role, the Connection, the direct source of supply who also understands alcoholic talk, and who in a way is the most meaningful person in the life of any addict. The difference between the Connection and the other players is the difference between professionals and amateurs in any game: the professional knows when to stop. At a certain point a good bartender refused to serve the Alcoholic, who is then left without any supplies unless he can locate a more indulgent Connection.

In the initial stages of "Alcoholic," the wife may play all three supporting roles: at midnight the Patsy, undressing him, making him coffee and letting him beat up on her; in the morning the Persecutor, berating him for the evil of his ways; and in the evening the Rescuer, pleading with him to change them.

[R.Win]

Ok, I admit. I am an internet addict.

Same here :!:

[PeeMarc]

... by the way, anyone who has a problem with drugs or alcohol.. or knows someone who is, the above except from Ereic Berne can be very helpful in understanding the real issues of addiction. Simply removing the 'drug' or 'drink' is definately NOT the way to go. Removing the 'enablers' is far more effective. For with out them, its very difficult for the addict to continue their behaviour.

[PeeMarc]

About that lurking part... isn't that the same reason people in real life don't take part of conversations?

perhaps. what do you think. And are you an internet addict?

[PeeMarc]

But there's one big truth I've learned: You don't get rid of any addictions or habits in your life. You just change one for another, they do not simply disappear. If you spend X hours everyday online, then in order to be able to stay offline you'll need to spend X+/-1 hours on some other equally addictive habit. Could be a drug, TV, a relationship, tuning your car, a job or the gym. Doesn't have to be bad or good. Just like internet is not bad unless you're stuck. Using a drug can be beneficial for your life if you do it the right dosis, and going to the gym or internet can completely destroy your life.

Oh aint that the truth buddy. Glad someone else feels that. I think I have one big addiction that keeps changing from one to the other. Interestingly, i think ive used every kind of substance known to man, but thee only one that 'got' me was fags. So, here I am, knowing full well that i have to replace that addiction ewith another. I gave up for 5 years before and became addicted to endorphine. I became a fitness junkie. I would ride my bike so hard... sometimes 100+ clicks in a go... just to get that high. Bored the f*ck out of me in the end (so did the fitness junkies i was hanging with at that time). But what you say is so true and bang on.

[Geri]

geri: be careful.........because lurking in chatrooms with a bunch of childlish guys could get you arrested.........

afook06: Well, I rarely go to chatrooms --- (Except for today since I wanted to know what the fuzz was all about with regards to the journal posted hours ago)....Yes, not only am I an internet addict, but I am nosy too...hehehe

[PeeMarc]

But there's one big truth I've learned: You don't get rid of any addictions or habits in your life. You just change one for another, they do not simply disappear. If you spend X hours everyday online, then in order to be able to stay offline you'll need to spend X+/-1 hours on some other equally addictive habit. Could be a drug, TV, a relationship, tuning your car, a job or the gym. Doesn't have to be bad or good. Just like internet is not bad unless you're stuck. Using a drug can be beneficial for your life if you do it the right dosis, and going to the gym or internet can completely destroy your life.

Oh aint that the truth buddy. Glad someone else feels that. I think I have one big addiction that keeps changing from one to the other. Interestingly, i think ive used every kind of substance known to man, but thee only one that 'got' me was fags. So, here I am, knowing full well that i have to replace that addiction ewith another. I gave up for 5 years before and became addicted to endorphine. I became a fitness junkie. I would ride my bike so hard... sometimes 100+ clicks in a go... just to get that high. Bored the f*ck out of me in the end (so did the fitness junkies i was hanging with at that time). But what you say is so true and bang on.

Peemarc turned on his side just after his profile's sexual orientation has changed LOL

You have quite a healthy imagination, dont you dear :wink:

[zeusbheld]

But there's one big truth I've learned: You don't get rid of any addictions or habits in your life. You just change one for another, they do not simply disappear. If you spend X hours everyday online, then in order to be able to stay offline you'll need to spend X+/-1 hours on some other equally addictive habit. Could be a drug, TV, a relationship, tuning your car, a job or the gym. Doesn't have to be bad or good. Just like internet is not bad unless you're stuck. Using a drug can be beneficial for your life if you do it the right dosis, and going to the gym or internet can completely destroy your life.

Oh aint that the truth buddy. Glad someone else feels that. I think I have one big addiction that keeps changing from one to the other. Interestingly, i think ive used every kind of substance known to man, but thee only one that 'got' me was fags. So, here I am, knowing full well that i have to replace that addiction ewith another. I gave up for 5 years before and became addicted to endorphine. I became a fitness junkie. I would ride my bike so hard... sometimes 100+ clicks in a go... just to get that high. Bored the f*ck out of me in the end (so did the fitness junkies i was hanging with at that time). But what you say is so true and bang on.

Peemarc turned on his side just after his profile's sexual orientation has changed LOL

You have quite a healthy imagination, dont you dear :wink:

she's a man u fan, so naturally she's unaware that heterosexual males exist.

[PeeMarc]

But there's one big truth I've learned: You don't get rid of any addictions or habits in your life. You just change one for another, they do not simply disappear. If you spend X hours everyday online, then in order to be able to stay offline you'll need to spend X+/-1 hours on some other equally addictive habit. Could be a drug, TV, a relationship, tuning your car, a job or the gym. Doesn't have to be bad or good. Just like internet is not bad unless you're stuck. Using a drug can be beneficial for your life if you do it the right dosis, and going to the gym or internet can completely destroy your life.

Oh aint that the truth buddy. Glad someone else feels that. I think I have one big addiction that keeps changing from one to the other. Interestingly, i think ive used every kind of substance known to man, but thee only one that 'got' me was fags. So, here I am, knowing full well that i have to replace that addiction ewith another. I gave up for 5 years before and became addicted to endorphine. I became a fitness junkie. I would ride my bike so hard... sometimes 100+ clicks in a go... just to get that high. Bored the f*ck out of me in the end (so did the fitness junkies i was hanging with at that time). But what you say is so true and bang on.

Peemarc turned on his side just after his profile's sexual orientation has changed LOL

You have quite a healthy imagination, dont you dear :wink:

she's a man u fan, so naturally she's unaware that heterosexual males exist.

and she's actually a katoey too :wink: (as rumour has it)

[PeeMarc]

and she's actually a katoey too :wink: (as rumour has it)

What exactly is needed for a rumor to become rock-solid-hard-evidenced-fact?

Hahaha... There is actually another thread called "gossip" but anyway....hmmm....

Someone once said that if you keep telling a lie long enough, it eventually becomes a fact (paraphrasing coz couldnt be arsed searching for that quote).

Our cute little "Impressionable" friend has already been busily changing her profile as of yesterday. We may see further changes in time. Who knows? Could be fact already :wink:

[PeeMarc]

PS... sorry about slaughtering the quotes, my friend. Anyway, what does "Imperfectionist" actually mean? Hmmm.....Could this actually be some sort of sign or hint? Afterall, katoeys can never really be "perfect" females. Right? :wink: The mind boggles.........

[PeeMarc]

PS... sorry about slaughtering the quotes, my friend. Anyway, what does "Imperfectionist" actually mean? Hmmm.....Could this actually be some sort of sign or hint? Afterall, katoeys can never really be "perfect" females. Right? :wink: The mind boggles.........

I'm clumsy actually that's it .... Yes I have androgen insensitivity syndrome

:cry: If you wanna laugh so it's ok

so I look like girl just no womb, no pubic hair and no period and no need of operation

So now let's see how far can this rumor be !!!

See? keep telling a lie long enough.... and it starts to become......

[PeeMarc]

so I look like girl just no womb, no pubic hair and no period and no need of operation

The perfect woman... a miracle!!

Let's see how peemarc supports him !!

Yes... the perfect katoey... eventually indistinguishable from the real thing. Grown from young. She/he is still in early stages .... but....soon...BEHOLD! the PERfect wo-man. (cackles madly at the ceiling, dramatic music and sfx)