Does molestation lead to promiscuity?

[CocoaBrotha]

I think people react differently to different circumstances and the manifestations of child sexual abuse are varied. There are numbers of women and men who have been victims of abuse who go on to lead normal, well-rounded, productive lives. Still others are impacted to the point that they have little interest in sex, and the opposite effect takes place.

But I have noticed from reading and talking with therapists that there is a connection between high levels of promiscuity and past abuse.

Comments?

[Stramash]

mmm, touchy subject but having worked in child protection few years back, one i fell slightly qualified to answer (subjectively)

Generally not a big fan of therapists; as with all groups there are good and bad, but the bad cast a far bigger shadow than their good colleagues. Too many instances of therapists discovering 'hidden' child abuse through hypnosis which then tears families apart and then proves to be more a product of therapists mind than childs/alleged abusee.

But I digress; research has shown that former child abusees will not show any set pattern of behaviour. Rather they will fall into many.(I suppose everyone reacts to stress/trauma differently - why shouldnt they?)

So, some will repeat the pattern of abuse (learned behaviour), some will succumb to depression and/or psychosis in later life which can lead to suicide, drug/alcohol abuse, self harming (in itself a very common coping strategy), some will exhibit promiscuity (again very mental health related - they are usually diagnosed with nymphomania) and some will settle for celibacy.

What the research does agree on is that it is very rare for former abusees to lead 100% normal lives. At some point, their awful experiences will return to haunt them with anything from mild to severe repercussions.

To return to my general anti-therapy stance, interviews with former abusees (we always try to avoid the term 'victim') show that the form of therapy they most appreciate and which has the most beneficial effects, is self help groups; groups run by abusees for abusees. The only external input is in support such as money to run group, premises to hold them in and training for those abusees who wish to be group facilitators)

As I said at first, a sensitive and thought provoking subject, and one that when discussed makes all parents shiver. Hope this helps a little with your question.

[CocoaBrotha]

This is not a subject easily approached or talked about, but it should be talked about more. Kudos to you cocoabrotha.

Unfournately when these young girls and guys get molested, they don't know the ramifications of what was done and the only thing that the sick bastard is telling them is that they love them. The brain takes all that in and starts to relate to sex as love.

It is not to say that they are not recieving love at home but they are looking for that difference that is that much more intense and not from a family member. It's screwed up because this something that without serious help, they will never change their ways.

[beej]

I have no idea.

[SiamHotel]

Comments?

qu!te plenty

[SiamHotel]

I h{d}ope...

[PJack]

i sure hope so

[PJack]

The brain takes all that in and starts to relate to sex as love.

probably true for 50% of humanity

females

[kennyke]

its one of the most horrible crimes someone can do :twisted: :twisted: , cant imagine what to do if it happen to some kid you know or some of your own kids

[eagle]

I think it definately does have effects. I've seen it over and over again. I see a friend or friend of a friend and they are wacky sexually and often it comes out they were molested. When innocence is taken away the door is open for sexual behaviour outside the normal patterns, from slightly odd to plain wacked out wierd. It does all depend on the degree and the individual of course.

[kennyke]

its one of the most horrible crimes someone can do , cant imagine what to do if it happen to some kid you know or some of your own kids

People caught doing it should be hung and anyone who dissagrees should be watched closely.

If it happens to a kid you know it can be very crushing spiritually.

i do agree with you :wink:

[SiamHotel]

i do agree with you :wink:

oh r3ally? will you cum up with something a bit more "xpectacular"??? ... b4 you die, juzt in case anyway.... bhudda's willing & croxxin' fingers & blah blah blah Janni'z Joplin.....

-- Dalai M

[condotown]

There is nothing wrong with sexual promiscuity in adults....

Ask any guy out for a night of fun.

There are hypocrites galore around here.

[CocoaBrotha]

I think it definately does have effects. I've seen it over and over again. I see a friend or friend of a friend and they are wacky sexually and often it comes out they were molested. When innocence is taken away the door is open for sexual behaviour outside the normal patterns, from slightly odd to plain wacked out wierd. It does all depend on the degree and the individual of course.

I have(or had) a couple of friends who were molested at a young age and they cant seem to stay off sex. My cousin was raped by her mothers boyfriend when she was 11 years old and now shes 28 years old. She has sex more than a hooker on the best day!.

A friend of mine whom I known for years told me a while ago that his girlfriend got raped by her uncle when she was 5 years old. Now she's 30 somethng and she can't breathe with out a man "pounding" inside of her. His relationship went down hill very fast .

Some males and females that have been molested act out in a promiscuous way aren't bad people at all, they just had a troubled past and have self-esteem problems or are looking for attention...... but in the wrong way.

[Dave40]

There are hypocrites galore around here.

The best thing you have ever said!! Don!!!

[Loburt]

I think it definately does have effects. I've seen it over and over again. I see a friend or friend of a friend and they are wacky sexually and often it comes out they were molested. When innocence is taken away the door is open for sexual behaviour outside the normal patterns, from slightly odd to plain wacked out wierd. It does all depend on the degree and the individual of course.

I have(or had) a couple of friends who were molested at a young age and they cant seem to stay off sex. My cousin was raped by her mothers boyfriend when she was 11 years old and now shes 28 years old. She has sex more than a hooker on the best day!.

A friend of mine whom I known for years told me a while ago that his girlfriend got raped by her uncle when she was 5 years old. Now she's 30 somethng and she can't breathe with out a man "pounding" inside of her. His relationship went down hill very fast .

Some males and females that have been molested act out in a promiscuous way aren't bad people at all, they just had a troubled past and have self-esteem problems or are looking for attention...... but in the wrong way.

What I find odd is that this never comes up in the threads on prostitution. How much you wanna bet that a high percentage of women in prostitution suffered some form of sexual abuse as a child or young person.

[PJack]

I think it definately does have effects. I've seen it over and over again. I see a friend or friend of a friend and they are wacky sexually and often it comes out they were molested. When innocence is taken away the door is open for sexual behaviour outside the normal patterns, from slightly odd to plain wacked out wierd. It does all depend on the degree and the individual of course.

I have(or had) a couple of friends who were molested at a young age and they cant seem to stay off sex. My cousin was raped by her mothers boyfriend when she was 11 years old and now shes 28 years old. She has sex more than a hooker on the best day!.

A friend of mine whom I known for years told me a while ago that his girlfriend got raped by her uncle when she was 5 years old. Now she's 30 somethng and she can't breathe with out a man "pounding" inside of her. His relationship went down hill very fast .

Some males and females that have been molested act out in a promiscuous way aren't bad people at all, they just had a troubled past and have self-esteem problems or are looking for attention...... but in the wrong way.

What I find odd is that this never comes up in the threads on prostitution. How much you wanna bet that a high percentage of women in prostitution suffered some form of sexual abuse as a child or young person.

i thought it was common knowledge. you will find the same is true of the porn industry.

[Stramash]

yeh that's right, there are only 3 options open to you if you are abused as a child; become an abuser, become a prostitute or become a porn star. dont think I have sworn on this site, but what a lot of narrow minded unthought out patriarchal bollocks!!!!!

I have worked in child protection. I have spoken to former abusees. I have read abusee led research. There is an awful lot of bollocks on this thread about the inevitability of 'promiscuous type behaviour' as a result of abuse. This will only account for a tiny percentage of former abusees. Most problems in later life are more likely to manifest as self harm, depression or drug or alcohol abuse than anything sexual. If you are going to make a comment on soemthing so sensitive make sure you know what you are f**kin talking about!!!

[PeeMarc]

Looking for real information on this subject, I did not come across much evidence to support the OP proposition on promiscuity from childhood abuse. While it cannot be ruled out, one doesnt automatically lead to the other. There are however, many other sad facts...

Sexual Abuse: Surviving the Pain

Barabara E. Bogorad, Psy.D., A.B.P.P.

Founder and Former Director, Sexual Abuse Recovery Program Unit

South Oaks Hospital, New York

Every year in this country, two million children are brutally beaten or sexually abused. 340,000 new cases were reported in 1989 (U.S. Advisory Board, April, 1991). Of these abused children, 3,000 to 5,000 die every year. In New York State alone, 200 bodies of sexually and physically abused children are found each year and not even identified. These are the ultimate victims.

Children who are neglected or sexually abused are known to have lower IQs and an increased risk of depression, suicide and drug problems. Abused children are 53% more likely to be arrested as juveniles, and 38% more likely to be arrested for a violent crime. During preschool years, abused children are more likely to get angry, refuse direction from teachers, and lack enthusiasm. By the time they reach grade school, they are more prone to being easily distracted, lacking in self-control, and not well-liked by peers.

Myths

There are many commonly held beliefs about sexual abuse. One is that abusers are always men. In fact, reports of female perpetrators are on the rise, involving both male and female victims. At least 5% of abusers are known to be women. Another myth is that the abuser is usually a stranger. More than 70% of abusers are immediate family members or someone very close to the family. Remember - bad guys don't always look bad; they're often the people we love. A third myth is that the abuser is always hated. Often the victim loves and protects the perpetrator. Some children feel "special" about the abuse. It may be the only attention or physical contact they're getting. Because of this, some survivors even into adulthood will deal with the abuse by minimizing it. Thus, they make the abuser and the events "OK", to make it feel like they're okay. An additional myth is that only females are sexually abused. In fact, 30% of all male children are molested in some way, compared to 40% of females.

Identifying Adults Abused As Children

The effects of early sexual abuse last well into adulthood, affecting relationships, work, family, and life in general. Individual symptomatology tends to fall into four areas:

1. Damaged goods: Low self-esteem, depression, self-destructiveness (suicide and self-mutilation), guilt, shame, self-blame, constant search for approval and nurturance.

2. Betrayal: Impaired ability to trust, blurred boundaries and role confusion, rage and grief, difficulty forming relationships.

3. Helplessness: Anxiety, fear, tendency towards re-victimization, panic attacks.

4. Isolation: Sense of being different, stigmatized, lack of supports, poor peer relations.

- Adult incest survivors may demonstrate some of the following symptoms:

- Fear of the dark, fear of sleeping alone, nightmares, night terrors

- Difficulty with swallowing, gagging

- Poor body image, poor self-image in general

- Wearing excessive clothing

- Addictions, compulsive behaviors, obsessions

- Self-abuse, skin-carving (also addictive),

- Suicidality

- Phobias, panic attacks, anxiety disorders, startle response

- Difficulties with anger/rage

- Splitting/ de-personalization, shutdown under stress

- Issues with trust, intimacy, relationships

- Issues with boundaries, control, abandonment

- Pattern of re-victimization, not able to say "no"

- Blocking of memories, especially between age one and 12

- Feeling crazy, different, marked

- Denial, flashbacks

- Sexual issues and extremes

- Multiple personalities

- Signs of post-traumatic stress disorder

[PJack]

yeh that's right, there are only 3 options open to you if you are abused as a child; become an abuser, become a prostitute or become a porn star. dont think I have sworn on this site, but what a lot of narrow minded unthought out patriarchal bollocks!!!!!

I have worked in child protection. I have spoken to former abusees. I have read abusee led research. There is an awful lot of bollocks on this thread about the inevitability of 'promiscuous type behaviour' as a result of abuse. This will only account for a tiny percentage of former abusees. Most problems in later life are more likely to manifest as self harm, depression or drug or alcohol abuse than anything sexual. If you are going to make a comment on soemthing so sensitive make sure you know what you are f**kin talking about!!!

agreed. it is the other way around. that is...it seems that those in the porn industry and prostitutes had suffered abuse. not all abusees (sp?) are destined to be porn stars / prostitutes.

[Loburt]

I don't think anyone said that there are only three options for people who have suffered abuse.

There are a range of possible outcomes. Some people do cope.

But, as you have worked in child protection, would you agree that the chances of a good or bad outcome can be enhanced by the type of support a person does or does not receive after having been abused?

In a place like Thailand, very few children who have been abused will receive any kind of counseling or support to improve their chances of coping and leading a normal life. As someone I know who works in child protection in Thailand said recently "emotional trauma is not a concept many people in Thailand acknowledge or recognize.''

And as many people and communities here still regard children as property and the family is not to be interfered with, no matter what type of abuse is repeatedly taking place, I would guess the possibility of a negative outcome might be greater than in the West.

No reliable statistics on child abuse in Thailand exist. No reliable statistics exist in Thailand as to the number of women in the sex industry, much less how many may or may not have suffered abuse as children.

But I suspect that a good percentage may have.

I brought it up in relation to the many threads that have been posted on this site about sex workers because some posters here dismiss it simply as that's the choice the woman made.

Without considering what factors may push certain people to make certain choices.

[Stramash]

Thanks Marc - a voice of reason at last!! There is such a small percentage of abusees (sp is correct) who go on to show promiscuous behaviour compared to the multitude of other problems that Marc has quite correctly listed. I would also reiterate my anti-therapist stance as these pseudo professionals can often do more damage than good. What has consistently shown to have far more benefits is self help groups run by and for former abusees. These groups, though not removing the distress of the original abuse, can help the people involved confront and sometimes reduce the distress of the after effects.

What used to make me really angry (I moved to drugs work from child protection because of how stressful it is to those who work in this field) was how many abusers suddenly discover the convenience of claiming they were abused themselves. While for sure some of them are telling the truth, the majority see it as a way of garnering sympathy for themselves and to reduce the horror of their crimes.

To say prostitutes and porn stars have chosen their industries because of childhood abuse is ignorant, stupid and insensitive. While there may often be social problems or self esteem issues behind these choices, abuse is very very rarely a factor!!

[PeeMarc]

I don't think anyone said that there are only three options for people who have suffered abuse.

There are a range of possible outcomes. Some people do cope.

But, as you have worked in child protection, would you agree that the chances of a good or bad outcome can be enhanced by the type of support a person does or does not receive after having been abused?

In a place like Thailand, very few children who have been abused will receive any kind of counseling or support to improve their chances of coping and leading a normal life. As someone I know who works in child protection in Thailand said recently "emotional trauma is not a concept many people in Thailand acknowledge or recognize.''

And as many people and communities here still regard children as property and the family is not to be interfered with, no matter what type of abuse is repeatedly taking place, I would guess the possibility of a negative outcome might be greater than in the West.

No reliable statistics on child abuse in Thailand exist. No reliable statistics exist in Thailand as to the number of women in the sex industry, much less how many may or may not have suffered abuse as children.

But I suspect that a good percentage may have.

I brought it up in relation to the many threads that have been posted on this site about sex workers because some posters here dismiss it simply as that's the choice the woman made.

Without considering what factors may push certain people to make certain choices.

as i quoted above, people who are abused as a child do suffer from very low self esteem and low self-worth as adult. Counselling or not, this in itself could obviously contribute to a girl ending up as a prostitute or sexually promiscuous. That makes sense. But i think there are myriad reasons why a girl (or guy) will do what they do and I believe, in most cases it is a combination of factors.

[Stramash]

I don't think anyone said that there are only three options for people who have suffered abuse.

There are a range of possible outcomes. Some people do cope.

But, as you have worked in child protection, would you agree that the chances of a good or bad outcome can be enhanced by the type of support a person does or does not receive after having been abused?

In a place like Thailand, very few children who have been abused will receive any kind of counseling or support to improve their chances of coping and leading a normal life. As someone I know who works in child protection in Thailand said recently "emotional trauma is not a concept many people in Thailand acknowledge or recognize.''

And as many people and communities here still regard children as property and the family is not to be interfered with, no matter what type of abuse is repeatedly taking place, I would guess the possibility of a negative outcome might be greater than in the West.

No reliable statistics on child abuse in Thailand exist. No reliable statistics exist in Thailand as to the number of women in the sex industry, much less how many may or may not have suffered abuse as children.

But I suspect that a good percentage may have.

I brought it up in relation to the many threads that have been posted on this site about sex workers because some posters here dismiss it simply as that's the choice the woman made.

Without considering what factors may push certain people to make certain choices.

Completely agree re the support Loburt. Think it is very often a cultural or national response as to how abuse is addressed. While the UK is making great strides, there are still instances of institutional sexual and physical abuse coming to light (for those of you who follow UK news, Jersey care home scandal currently in news). So we are not perfect. In fact much institutional abuse has come from areas traditionally seen as caring and trustworthy (priests, nuns, childrens homes etc).

The only way to get progress is not to hide it under the carpet. This was done in the UK and it is only in the last 20 years or so that the debbate has really been brought into the open. If it is not confronted in Th today, it does not mena it never will be. Public debate and discussion is needed, whether on forums like this, in newspapers, through politicians etc.

I think Th, like the UK, sees many people choose or forced into sex industry through social exclusion rather than childhood abuse. Maybe most Brits like to think we are so civilised and advanced, but the truth is, just like Th, the gap between rich and poor is huge and is getting bigger every year. Unfortunately governments only care about their people when there is an election coming and will make hollow promises to swing some votes.

I am so glad there have been quite a few intelligent posts on this thread (cocoabrother, loburt and marc take a bow) but there have also been narrow minded ignorant posts as well.

It is a subject that inspires an emotional response immediately, but it is also a subject that demands a well thought out and intelligent response if we are to improve things in the future...for Thai kids, British kids and kids everywhere.

[Loburt]

What has consistently shown to have far more benefits is self help groups run by and for former abusees. These groups, though not removing the distress of the original abuse, can help the people involved confront and sometimes reduce the distress of the after effects.

I don't think you will find that exists in Thailand in any significant way. So essentially there is no help for most children here who have been abused.

To say prostitutes and porn stars have chosen their industries because of childhood abuse is ignorant, stupid and insensitive. While there may often be social problems or self esteem issues behind these choices, abuse is very very rarely a factor!!

Well, I certainly did not write that they chose their professions because of abuse. It could be a factor in what led them to those industries. The factors that lead anyone to do anything can be quite complex.

And I would like you to show some evidence that among women working in the sex industry in Thailand, or women working in the porn industry in the West, that abuse is "rarely" a factor. I suspect it is different from what you say, but I am not saying I "know" the answers. I don't.