I‘ve been asked from time to time since last 3 months until now as “I saw you with that guy u still with him? Where your bf? What happened with your bf? Where is that guy ur bf?” To be honest he is not my bf even we dated almost a year but I not considered that as a relationship. 

The truth is Mr. A. (not his really name of course) we’ve been dated since May 2007 he quite nice, and I like him coz he is comforted to be with and talk to even he is not my dream guy but he is real human tho. We dated for sometimes I shared my experiences about date guys and I mentioned Mr. B & C whom I used to date over a year before that and he seem interested in them till I suspicious and asked if he knows them and he said yes, but turn out 2 guys are his  best friends and one even lives in same house, he told me one day Mr. B&C talked about me in front of him, who was first date Soda and so on……and that made Mr. A went search on a net (Google? I don’t know) who Soda is, finally he shown his friend, this is Soda that you guys talk about? His friend said “Yes, be careful she got lots of guys” (I WISH……) 

After 2 or 3 months I be told that Mr. A doesn’t serious coz he can’t accepted that all his friends were….me but I still insist to date perhaps 2 lazy to recount 0 again or lonely? I don’t know. First we meet almost every weekend, we live a few bus stops far but sometimes he off his phone I don’t know where he went and when we met again he said he went to the beach with friends and sometimes went out party.

Then he asked me to meet at his house late like 9 PM or 10 PM, some how I felt like I’m his door mate or call girl, I hate those words but the way he treats me I have to admit it. 

In March 08 I told that I going to move out so that we can see each other more often but what he said was” I think we meet like this is ok”, I got some idea what he means but I’ve come up with my final exam, I know what the most scary to men so I talk to him while we were together “ I think I want to get marry and pregnant in this year, I’ll going to get annual check up soon” he immediately said “ I don’t think I’m ready yet not even in next 2 years” that’s it, games over. 

After that he kept text me as “if u want to talk just call me dear” and so on, my excused were “I’m not well, I’m not in mood and what ever”, I thought he knew that and it was about end of April or early May 08 not so sure. I presumed his friend might told him what man Soda wants to date and how she would test the guy first before decide for second date, that’s how he behave so well.  

I presumed that one of his friends bet him to get Soda, perhaps offer him a bottle of beer or what ever….

I remember once while I told him I may move to Abu Dhabi to work then he offer me his friend who work there, said he wants baby too and that made me said “do u want me to get involved with all of your friend?” he just smiling I don’t know what that mean. I always think that he must date someone while we were dating until I saw his forum not long ago about experiences dating or something so I was right. 

Anyway, If someone got to be blamed it must be me I should stop shortly after knowing who he is but becoz of my ego or confident or what ever make me went on like that, since there is certain rule that you shouldn’t date your best friend‘s ex. I don’t hate or angry him but a bit disappointed of my stupidity. 

I’m on a high now and I’m just a human, I was born to try……..

I’m not good in relationship anyway, and stay alone in 60+ is already in my back up plan

I know Friend + Trust = relationship but the problematic is I CAN’T TRUST anyone, not anymore… 

If anyone have any question ask, and asked me now before I forget…..

Dont worry Soda - the right man is out there for you, someone who will share and listen. Just keep smiling until then!

I dont think i could live my life without trusting someone..

Iain_D: Thanks for your pampering, i'm fine my dear

mamasan :I feel better for so long ago my darling but just don't wana hear ppl keep asking....

Pink_lemonade: Oh I can darling....

Huh?

1) You already know most men will not a long-term relationship with someone who has slept with, not one, but two of his close friends. It's not your fault in any way, but that's the way it is.... so you should have cut your losses and run...

2) ? I think I want to get marry and pregnant in this year..." Again, score 0/10 for "man management skills"

3) "Then he asked me to meet at his house late like 9 PM or 10 PM, some how I felt like I?m his door mate or call girl"

I think the correct term is "**** buddy" or "kik"

If you don't learn to either 1) get out of a relationship like this sooner or else 2) enjoy the "**** buddy" relationship for what is, you are going to find yourself repeating the same kind of relationship

Then again you surely know that already!

Milk Biscuit: Well I don't see how saying "Don't worry sis, everything will be alright, you'll meet the right guy sooner or later will help her much"!!

bad Niranahm!!!! Ever heard of supporting rather than criticising!!! Your bad!!!

Supporting doesn't mean just saying nice things to make some one feel better!! You disagree with my comments or what?

Of course it's hurtful when someone hasn't treated you right and your trust has been misplaced (should we put PeeMarc and Soda in a room!!??)

She didn't do anything morally wrong, but she's "guilty" of not getting out of a relationship that was obviously going nowhere. For many people that's a negative pattern that is not cured by tea and sympathy

Niranahm : Thanks for advice but i think i can't accept either 1 or 2 coz i just can't sob sob. I love ur comment any way

Milk : come on you're Orite..lol..

Lain_D: Don't worry, I'm a big girl and tough one

ghee: thanks but somehow when u date someone too long you got to have some idea like, are we there yet?

Ah, ha - the dangers of 'internet dating'. Sad but true that many people use the internet as a mechanism to create and live another life as they are usually away from their home country.

And - Know someone before you trust them.

Wasnt disagreeing completely Niranahm; Just feel that when a friend is upset, you support, even when they may have been in wrong or made bad judgement. The friendly advice as to how to avoid same situation in future can come later!!!

Soda - sorry, know you are big girl. I just get overprotective of friends sometimes!! : )

Wasnt disagreeing completely Niranahm; Just feel that when a friend is upset, you support, even when they may have been in wrong or made bad judgement. The friendly advice as to how to avoid same situation in future can come later!!!

Soda - sorry, know you are big girl. I just get overprotective of friends sometimes!! : )

Aidon2004 : yes I agree with you but the most embarrassed is that you get involved with a group of men.

Iain_D: Thanks for being so kind darling, i'm ok :)

Good advice Niranahm. Much more constructive than most of the other comments.

Ahh, so many troubles Soda...stop worrying and looking, just enjoy life instead...some of us will stay single all of our lives, maybe it's destiny?

come to me i can make you feel better with the beer

keep your life going guy..don't look back just for the future.. I been broken heart manytime with wrong guy, but you know never too late to meet new guy.. cheer up!!

you are so brave to share your other side of life... it is useful for many girls who is getting lost in the relationship... Thus , people from different family, different cultures and different experiences can share the different points of this issues.

Somehow you also have right to listen or ignore any comments.

Everyone use to make the wrong decision... Enjoy your life ...Hug hug .

ÊÙé ÊÙé or lets go to hang out to gether..(with me ) ok? ....just a girl.. you and me and other na.....

you can learn from your experience... and you can make it better next time...

just stay with consciousness... brain and heart should go together...

cheers!

There is nothing wrong with dating a friend of a friend or anything like that because when you date someone you end up having similar circle of friends which often includes their close friends.... there was nothing wrong in your actions.

On most accounts I have to agree with Niranahm playing the I want to get prego and married in this year.... you only are 'dating' as you said and suddenly talk marriage? Very bad imagine if a guy you were just dating said that to you? I'm sorry you were hurt it sucks so now time to find someone better.

Godd luck

that's how I look at Thailandfriends and other online dating sites...I am no longer looking for love or relationship here . Once you realised the same guys that we dated also have been dating another girls or as your case ..dating your ex's best friends Ewwwwwww it's hurtful .

what other options we have for finding lover?

occasionly attend for a dance class ,travel alone ( beaches or mountains) sometimes or take only one friend with you , or wait patiently for the cupid to do their job

I'll sit and wait for my case as I still have fully support from my ex coz the bond (our princess) is so strong...no rush for a new one

I could be a match maker if you like hehehe

cheer up ja

My dear Soda....don't worry, be happy ja. I am still single and never once see myself as a lucky in love kinda girl.

I often think I'm not giving up on love but perhaps...love has given up on me hahaha.

Don't you worry about finding a nice man who can love you the way you wish for. Just love yourself, cherish yourself and enjoy life...with or without someone. That's what I have been up to as well. Lots of hugs!

So let me get this story right... You started with Mr. Z and you worked your way up to dating Mr. A.....

.....And now you are out of letters, so you need to stop dating.... Or you have to start using numbers instead of letters....