falangboy Posted October 2, 2004 Report Share Posted October 2, 2004 I just read a journal entry about a girl who thinks her English teacher is cute. I suggested she just ask him out rather than spend a lot of money going to classes where she's going to be day dreaming. Do any of you TF girls ever ask out guys or do you just resort to trying to get the guys to ask you out? Just curious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ttesta Posted October 2, 2004 Report Share Posted October 2, 2004 Personally I think I'll do it the subtle way. :wink: Like being friend with him first or chat him up platonically. (no corny lines) If I wanna be with someone I won't be so assertive or straightforward to ask him out. I'll see if he's interested. If not I won't wast my time. :twisted: Noochy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
falangboy Posted October 2, 2004 Author Report Share Posted October 2, 2004 So you wouldn't ask him out per say. You would talk with him and try to get him to ask you out. But what if you already know him (say it's a co worker or friend of a friend) and you know that you like him. Would you ask him out then or still wait for him to ask you out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ttesta Posted October 2, 2004 Report Share Posted October 2, 2004 I'll ask him out with lots of friends or coworkers first and see how it goes. If he is a nice person to be with then next time I'll try to ask him out. One on one . Are you trying to figure something out falangboy? :twisted: Noochy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
falangboy Posted October 2, 2004 Author Report Share Posted October 2, 2004 No, I'm not trying to figure anything out. I don't have a single male friend right now who is dating someone that asked him out. So when I saw the journal entry it got me thinking,... how many women are willing to try to ask a guy out. I very rarely hear of this happening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asianchickygirl Posted October 2, 2004 Report Share Posted October 2, 2004 To me.....culture plays an important role in this case. We probably see girls asking guys out for a date a lot more in western countries, rather than here in Thailand though. It just looks that way to me. Personally, I will just let him know that I like him by my interaction with him or paying attention to him more than I will do for a friend...lol. But I don't think I would ask him out. Ut oh, now it just switches to "personal trait" role. Well.....I do try my best by giving him some hints that I like him that much. So ... now I will just leave it to him ,if he wants to keep the distance or want to get a bit closer to me. It's just the way I am though. Sadly, I wish I could be more assertive, but guess it will never happen :? -Asianchickygirl- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
falangboy Posted October 2, 2004 Author Report Share Posted October 2, 2004 I don't expect to have anyone breaking down my doors to ask me out but it did happen to me when I was younger. Twice. Once I accepted and once I declined. And while I felt a little bad about turning someone down I still felt great that I was asked. It was really flattering and I think more women should try it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zeusbheld Posted October 2, 2004 Report Share Posted October 2, 2004 i agree with asianchikygirl in that culture plays an important role in wether women ask men out. most places ppl stick to cultural conventions in my opinion. women expect men to be able to pick up on the little hints they drop, rather than ask a guy out, in most cases that i know of. although i'm not likely to ever win any beauty prizes, i've been asked out a few times here in the US. unfortunately the vast majority of these women turned out to be COMPLETELY insane. mainland china may be a little different, at least as a white guy. most of the time it works the same, the women drop hints, etc. but quite a few times when i was women were rather cheeky. for example at the forbidden city in beijing, the girl i was dating sat down to read a book while i toured. i was barely 100 meters into the place and a girl came up to me and asked, not if i *had* a gf, but how many. i dont know that the really agressive chinese girls arent a small minority but hte ones that are aggressive are *very* agressive, in my limited experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
music Posted October 3, 2004 Report Share Posted October 3, 2004 iwomen expect men to be able to pick up on the little hints they drop, rather than ask a guy out, in most cases that i know of. then the problem for me is that if a woman did ever drop hints, i may be completely oblivious to them. i've had cases where days later i'm slapping myself on the forehead in a train or on a plane, about a seemingly innocuous encounter that probably remained that way because of my inability to pick up on these signals. it's like, what the frick was i thinking? i always thought this was a subconscious thing, not wanting to get rejected, but after talking to my friends, no, i'm a major dolt in this area. well, another area for improvement, huh? lol jo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
biachung Posted October 3, 2004 Report Share Posted October 3, 2004 If you like them, then ask them out,coffee etc.... rejection is better than regret! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
biachung Posted October 3, 2004 Report Share Posted October 3, 2004 yeah , you got something there Celticcola, I find talking to girls from other cultures much more challenging than my own, what I mean is the local girls here(nz) are beautiful and interesting in their own way, but after that it's just same ole same ole bal bla bla and I'm bored ...next :? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
biachung Posted October 3, 2004 Report Share Posted October 3, 2004 :arrow: crawl on your bare hands and knees over broken glass and barbed wire just to get her to give you a chance :?: maybe she's just not interested, i mean that sounds a bit desperate does it not? just so she can give you a chance??...nothing personal but i read alot of this sort of stuff in here, esp about falang woman!... umm forgot what i was gonna say Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carlinho Posted October 3, 2004 Report Share Posted October 3, 2004 it may still be a common for a man to make the first move (although women have a phantastic talent to get us to make the first move). what i find very different compared to women in western societies is that the conversation with asian women gets personally quite quickly. (or at least what we take as "personally") it is not really usual in europe that a girl asks the guy (and vice versa?) about his relationship status after knowing him only for some minutes. i was really astonished when being in one of our asian offices and my female collagues there asked me very straight forward whether i am married or not. i did not not feel uncomfortable about this as i am used to this direct and personal talks from my brazilian friends (...plus i am not the most diplomatic person either). but for sure many other europeans would have been irritated, especially if that happened at work. anyhow, that may differ from country to country. none of my japanese collagues asked me that, maybe i am not the right type for japanese women :wink: too big? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aphrodite Posted October 3, 2004 Report Share Posted October 3, 2004 I think its pretty normal nowaday. I mean man things changed! Sometimes women cant just wait for a guy to ask her out. What if there's no guyz interested to ask her out at all , wouldnt she be ended up as an old maid?! Well to me, i still think its ok to ask some guyz out. I know guyz wouldnt mind it right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
music Posted October 3, 2004 Report Share Posted October 3, 2004 It is often so much easier to strike up a coversation with someone from the other side of the world than it is from someone from your own village,town,city a good observation which i can confirm through my experiences. i've got a slightly different situation in that my face is asian, i've got a common japanese name, but i'm a western canadian through and through. i blend in easily in most countries of the northeast and southeast regions. if i keep my mouth shut, the women treat me indifferently. as soon as i struggle with the local language at a hotel reception desk, often things change. even this cowboy can pick THAT up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
falangboy Posted October 3, 2004 Author Report Share Posted October 3, 2004 FiLuRiNa, I don't think you have a problem with guys wanting to ask you out. But to answer your last, somewhat rhetorical question, no, guys wouldn't mind this at all. At least most guys. After spending most of their time trying to figure out ways to ask girls out it's nice to have the roles reversed. I agree with the string regarding the ease of talking to people from other cultures. I find that has been true in my life too. Although I thing that's a psychological issue amongst all people rather than a cultural one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
music Posted October 3, 2004 Report Share Posted October 3, 2004 sorry i had to say no sprite, but hey i really apreciate you asking and dont let rejection put you off asking other guys. you're joking, right? if not, are you out of your fcuking mind!? but seriously, you must be content with your current circumstances? that's a swell place to be, man. congrats! jo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zeusbheld Posted October 3, 2004 Report Share Posted October 3, 2004 jo, 2 tips for 'reading' the signs. first, it's like baseball, .350 is all star material... so basically expect to suck and just hope u get it right sometimes... second, get hang with a 'wingman' friend who will let you know what's up... i can be really oblvious but my friends keep any eye out for my dumb ass... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zeusbheld Posted October 3, 2004 Report Share Posted October 3, 2004 that in itself is an answer of sorts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
music Posted October 3, 2004 Report Share Posted October 3, 2004 2 tips for 'reading' the signs. first, it's like baseball, .350 is all star material... so basically expect to suck and just hope u get it right sometimes... yeah, i'd be happy batting .350, no doubt! lol second, get hang with a 'wingman' friend who will let you know what's up... i can be really oblvious but my friends keep any eye out for my dumb ass... good to have friends like that! thx for the tips, jo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
music Posted October 4, 2004 Report Share Posted October 4, 2004 Oh and BTW being of Asian extraction but actually being a westerner you must be fighting the women off! You lucky baxxxxxd! i wouldn't mind being a bastard if i was that lucky! first of all i'm stuck out here on the us east coast in a small city that has one thai restaurant and two vietnamese. could be worse i suppose... ... and i'm just a poor man's version of bruce lee. lol jo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zeusbheld Posted October 4, 2004 Report Share Posted October 4, 2004 hey jo, being a poor man's version of bruce lee has gotta be a damn sight better'n being a poor man's version of nosferatu Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
music Posted October 4, 2004 Report Share Posted October 4, 2004 celticcola, i thought more about your comment; being of asian descent with a western mindset has it's pluses and minuses. on the whole my experience has been that the girls i've dated in japan and korea might have been intrigued by the "banana" that i am, but i also realize that they were probably more conservative in nature and felt at ease dating someone who didn't look like an obvious foreigner. i remember being on a bus with my girlfriend in seoul, just me and her and a driver, late at night. whenever i started talking she'd ask me to keep my voice down because it was clear she didn't want the driver to know that she was with a non-korean, let alone a japanese-canadian non-korean! double no-no! so if i date a thai lady, i'm hopin' she won't give a damn about all that. but i'd understand if she did. i wouldn't want her to get stressed out over trying to overcome local social conventions. maybe that's not the case anymore. i've been away for 12 years. how about it gals? obviously most of you are TF members because you want to socialize with foreign nationals. Great. But if your blue-eyed blonde hair partner has his arms around your waist, the two of you walking down the street in your neighborhood, would you be down with that? or am i just way behind the times? jo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
music Posted October 4, 2004 Report Share Posted October 4, 2004 hey jo, being a poor man's version of bruce lee has gotta be a damn sight better'n being a poor man's version of nosferatu it depends on the girl i suppose. i could see those who follow a goth lifestyle being all over nosferatu! i listen to goth music and i've met people who are totally into that scene. they're pretty serious, man! jo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OutOfOrder Posted October 4, 2004 Report Share Posted October 4, 2004 i guess i only did it once when i was really drunk (to the guy i really liked). Other times to the stangers would be when I'm REally REALLY drunk. when both ppl are drunk, you don't get no for the answer anyway (i guess)... But if I have to 'seriously' ask someone out ~ it'll have to wait another decade. But I know my suggestion is not helpful at all...heh heh... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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