Would you marry an (ex) prostitute?

[eagle]

eagle wrote:

Whatever job or position she may hold has nothing to do with her mindset.

that's simplistic bullshit. so, your being a musician as opposed to being a stockbroker, has nothing to do with your mindset? and being a musician, hanging out with musicians hasn't affected your mindset at all?

I didn't say that mr god you miss quoted me that was wagners comment. how you got my name on it I don't know My whole point was and is if your getting married I would think you fell in love. And sayng a girl is worthless to anyone if she was a hooker is wagners point. If you prefer not to marry a hooker thats your buisness but to say they can never change is stupid so I will continue to roll my eyes.......

[eagle]

Hmm... Sad to hear some of this comments. Somehow i feel sorry to da hookers/slut.. or whatever ya name it.

Seem like most guys wont marry them. But so many guys go to them? Even if it seem they're too well-known of being slutty..

I think some of those gals if they have choise they would not do that. Maybe some does and some dun. All hooker are not all that bad. I know they shag for money. But what else they could do if they have no education and yes always end up with no buck bcoz of poverty.

Its so easy to say and blame out to something we dun ever know what it feel like or experience it.

again: i think for most guys it's not a question of blame or morality but of compatibility.

my observation here in bangkok is that most of the guys who married bargirls were frequenters of go go bars. now, if i don't happen to make a habit of that, don't have much interest in that scene, if go go bars bore me, what exactly am i going to have in common with this girl in the first place?

obviously boy and girl don't have to have *everything* in common but one hopes they might have *something* in common, otherwise they have a lot of years with nothing to talk about to look forward to, don't they.

so people need something in common , and you misquote me as being simplistic ? taking notes general ........

[zeusbheld]

eagle wrote:

Whatever job or position she may hold has nothing to do with her mindset.

that's simplistic bullshit. so, your being a musician as opposed to being a stockbroker, has nothing to do with your mindset? and being a musician, hanging out with musicians hasn't affected your mindset at all?

I didn't say that mr god you miss quoted me that was wagners comment. how you got my name on it I don't know My whole point was and is if your getting married I would think you fell in love. And sayng a girl is worthless to anyone if she was a hooker is wagners point. If you prefer not to marry a hooker thats your buisness but to say they can never change is stupid so I will continue to roll my eyes.......

then you forgot to put it in quote boxes, sir, look back a couple of pages. here it is, in its entirety, from page 7

Whatever job or position she may hold has nothing to do with her mindset. I think it is safe to say that a lot of despicaple characters hold very high positions in Thai society. How do you like Samak, head of PPP ?Chances are he will be the next PM, representing Thailand all around the world.

By all means lets have more hookers and thugs in important positions.

SO your worried about her mind set right cause she was once a dispicable *****.? I think your just an insecure ***** looking for a virgin so there is no threat to his manhood. Wouldn;t want some ex Hooker in an important position eh' that evil sex machine. Lilly your were so right :roll:

btw i didn't come away with the impression that Wagner was saying such a girl is worthless to anyone. maybe i missed something.

[paulgh3rd]

i personally wouldnt marry one but its all in the name.

ive had fun with hookers but i leave my heart at home!!

what defines a hooker? a girl who sleeps for money?

i know of a farang girl who has an older rich guy who buys her clothes gives her money etc!! is she a hooker?

some males would brag if they married a pornstar who may have slept with the same amount of men as a hooker and also get paid!! is she a hooker?

:shock:

couldn't say it better.... in the US we have craigslist.com a popular site for finding, buying, renting, selling,finding, or anything of well everything and the personals of women looking for men would make you question what is a prostitute or the next time you go out with your mates and some girls chat you up all night and you buy her drinks and she leaves with never having intent of ever doing anything other then getting drinks (often plot devise in movies and books) what is a prostitute?

[eagle]

eagle wrote:

Whatever job or position she may hold has nothing to do with her mindset.

that's simplistic bullshit. so, your being a musician as opposed to being a stockbroker, has nothing to do with your mindset? and being a musician, hanging out with musicians hasn't affected your mindset at all?

I didn't say that mr god you miss quoted me that was wagners comment. how you got my name on it I don't know My whole point was and is if your getting married I would think you fell in love. And sayng a girl is worthless to anyone if she was a hooker is wagners point. If you prefer not to marry a hooker thats your buisness but to say they can never change is stupid so I will continue to roll my eyes.......

then you forgot to put it in quote boxes, sir, look back a couple of pages. here it is, in its entirety, from page 7

Whatever job or position she may hold has nothing to do with her mindset. I think it is safe to say that a lot of despicaple characters hold very high positions in Thai society. How do you like Samak, head of PPP ?Chances are he will be the next PM, representing Thailand all around the world.

By all means lets have more hookers and thugs in important positions.

SO your worried about her mind set right cause she was once a dispicable *****.? I think your just an insecure ***** looking for a virgin so there is no threat to his manhood. Wouldn;t want some ex Hooker in an important position eh' that evil sex machine. Lilly your were so right :roll:

btw i didn't come away with the impression that Wagner was saying such a girl is worthless to anyone. maybe i missed something.

sorry about quote boxes, Wagner has been pushing the once a hooker always a hooker idea which gives me the impression he could never get over it hence my insecurity crack. I never met someone who set out to marry a hooker and its obviously not first on the list of desirable marraige partners but we all fall in love and that could twist things up a bit for some people.

[grezzzy_greer]

i think its not about that the guys consider themselves being to good for marrying a prostitute but to know that it will implicate heavy emotional problems when facing the fact that she got screwed by mabye 1000 guys before...

Maybe she is not a hooker but still got screwed by thousands, take Britney Spears for example.

This was exactly my point - are you more concerned that she got screwed by a lot of guys or that she took money after it instead of every month or every week? If you are worried about her having sex with the guys, then you should forget about women altogether and become a monk! There are virgins out there, but precious few....so either work it out, or forget it!

Greer

[zeusbheld]

Hmm... Sad to hear some of this comments. Somehow i feel sorry to da hookers/slut.. or whatever ya name it.

Seem like most guys wont marry them. But so many guys go to them? Even if it seem they're too well-known of being slutty..

I think some of those gals if they have choise they would not do that. Maybe some does and some dun. All hooker are not all that bad. I know they shag for money. But what else they could do if they have no education and yes always end up with no buck bcoz of poverty.

Its so easy to say and blame out to something we dun ever know what it feel like or experience it.

again: i think for most guys it's not a question of blame or morality but of compatibility.

my observation here in bangkok is that most of the guys who married bargirls were frequenters of go go bars. now, if i don't happen to make a habit of that, don't have much interest in that scene, if go go bars bore me, what exactly am i going to have in common with this girl in the first place?

obviously boy and girl don't have to have *everything* in common but one hopes they might have *something* in common, otherwise they have a lot of years with nothing to talk about to look forward to, don't they.

so people need something in common , and you misquote me as being simplistic ? taking notes general ........

no you're not taking notes you're too deeply entrenched in what you've made your mind up that i've said to actually read it.

[zeusbheld]

sorry about quote boxes, Wagner has been pushing the once a hooker always a hooker idea which gives me the impression he could never get over it hence my insecurity crack. I never met someone who set out to marry a hooker and its obviously not first on the list of desirable marraige partners but we all fall in love and that could twist things up a bit for some people.

not to put words in his mouth (but i will anyway): i believe the point of his glib saying was that, sex workers tend to have a lot of baggage.

i agree with that; in my experience they do. and most of what i know about sex workers is from TALKING to them WITHOUT having sex with them, so while they might not be perfectly candid, they don't have a stake in convincing me of anything. sure everyone has baggage, most people have quite a bit. sex worker baggage though in my observation is consistently a kind of baggage that a) is easy to spot, *without* knowing the details of their history, the history just confirms it, and does not appeal to me for dating/mating purposes at all.

if i couldn't tell from her behavior at all then it is not very likely to be a deal breaker, but would depend on the circumstances. as far as i'm concerned the problem is the baggage, not the fact that people have sex for money. i have no morals i don't care about that part of it.

[zeusbheld]

i personally wouldnt marry one but its all in the name.

ive had fun with hookers but i leave my heart at home!!

what defines a hooker? a girl who sleeps for money?

i know of a farang girl who has an older rich guy who buys her clothes gives her money etc!! is she a hooker?

some males would brag if they married a pornstar who may have slept with the same amount of men as a hooker and also get paid!! is she a hooker?

:shock:

couldn't say it better.... in the US we have craigslist.com a popular site for finding, buying, renting, selling,finding, or anything of well everything and the personals of women looking for men would make you question what is a prostitute or the next time you go out with your mates and some girls chat you up all night and you buy her drinks and she leaves with never having intent of ever doing anything other then getting drinks (often plot devise in movies and books) what is a prostitute?

prostitution is generally clearly and easily defined: someone who has sex for money. i would consider porn stars to be prostitutes yes. but even if you don't be advised that most of them are available through extremely expensive escort agencies.

in the scenario you present the girl scamming you for drinks is a con artist and your'e a sucker, an easy mark.

[zeusbheld]

i think its not about that the guys consider themselves being to good for marrying a prostitute but to know that it will implicate heavy emotional problems when facing the fact that she got screwed by mabye 1000 guys before...

Maybe she is not a hooker but still got screwed by thousands, take Britney Spears for example.

This was exactly my point - are you more concerned that she got screwed by a lot of guys or that she took money after it instead of every month or every week?

neither. i'm more concerned with all the baggage that comes with spending any significant time living that lifestyle. if someone can do that without baggage, fine.

obviously, britney spears is totally f**ked in the head regardless of whether she worked as a prostitute, sexed up a thousand guys, etc.

If you are worried about her having sex with the guys, then you should forget about women altogether and become a monk! There are virgins out there, but precious few....so either work it out, or forget it!

see #1 above. also, the careful observer will note that all women do not fit into one of those two categories a) being prostitutes, and/or women with over 1,000 sex partners, or virgins.

shockingly, i have met very few women who have had over a thousand sex partners. outside of whorehouses that is. or britney (i have yet to meet her).

[Wagner]

The girls didn't force you to picked her up.

Not looking for further confrontation but I'd nevertheless like to say that actually the vast majority of hookers do very much force themselves upon customers. Not only do they actively seek contact but many times the contact includes physically holding on to the person and at some establishments they also present their private parts for you to examine in order to 'close the deal'

Add to this all the sick buffalo stories to get sympathy with the target of further financial 'aid'.

I dare to claim this constitutes using every possible means available to force you to pick them up. Goes with the job description. Many men can resist the offer but a lot of them also cannot.

If the product for sale was anything else, I don't think it would be deemed fair marketing practices.

let's hope it in the near future we wouldn't see as much ranting over and over Thai (Bar) Girls.

If we see less bar girls in Thailand in the future, then there will certainly be less talk about them too. Until that happens, I don't see any reason why the subject would recieve less attention. Not that I prefer the subject but as one can see from the popularity of this thread, it does intrigue a lot of people. Including me.

In my 4 years in Thailand I have not seen the numbers of bar girls declining. I'd actually estimate their numbers to be increasing but I have no data to back up this claim. Just my gut feeling. I'm sure someone who's been here considerably longer can offer a more educated opinion on this.

If you want to see people not talking about a problem, then you should fix the problem instead of trying to shut them up.

[Wagner]

Unless you fnd a vigin your woman has had maybe more men in her then you would like to think about hooker or not.

You don't seem to be able to see anything beyond your fixed stance. This is not about the amount of sexual partners to me. I have made no referral to that. I am talking about mental and emotional baggage these women carry with them.

I would see it as a warning sign just the same if I came across a woman in her 30s and still being a virgin. Especially if she was from a western culture. In Thailand it is more common but nevertheless not a positive sign either.

I tried to explain to you through comparative examples the importance of likelyhoods. Something you seem to ignore.

I'm not saying you have to live my way in order to be happy. I'm just saying that if I was your friend, I would feel compelled to try to inform you of the potential dangers, were you too blind to see them yourself.

We are talking about marraige not dating so I would assume you love her to even think about it and if you love her its not like shopping for an unused appliance

A marriage without a dating phase, though not unheard of, is in my books very close to insanity.

For me love is a combination of many emotions - honesty, trust, respect, passion, friendship. Each and every one is needed for me to call it love.

Trust and respect would be, atleast for me, very difficult to achieve with a hooker. I don't blame her for continuing to live the way she has learned to survive. All I'm saying is that it's too much baggage for me. The odds are stacked against it. One should not confuse a crush with love.

A lot of the girls are really cute and adorable but that's just the surface. For some a pretty trophy wife is good enough and they don't care about what's underneath. Fine with me. By all means let them be happy.

However I need more, much more than just a pretty face stuck to a divine body.

A woman is capable of not hooking just like the good girl can be true in fact I would think most hookers would love to stop if they could.

I beg to differ. The first time is always the most difficult one. After that it becomes easier. Most of those of those who ride on their high horse aiming to 'save' all the poor bar girls like to think most hookers want to quit. Not so. A lot of them actually prefer that job. If you are in doubt, just do a little research on how many girls continue hooking, even if they already have secured financial income or even a man willing to marry them.

[samy5000]

if you will look to the first page you will see that " we are talking global " !...but i didnt see any " globalization " here , everybody stick in thailand and thai hookers !....no body visited dubai or turkey or italy for exapmle ??.....please !

[CiaranM]

The girls didn't force you to picked her up.

Not looking for further confrontation but I'd nevertheless like to say that actually the vast majority of hookers do very much force themselves upon customers. Not only do they actively seek contact but many times the contact includes physically holding on to the person and at some establishments they also present their private parts for you to examine in order to 'close the deal'

Add to this all the sick buffalo stories to get sympathy with the target of further financial 'aid'.

I dare to claim this constitutes using every possible means available to force you to pick them up. Goes with the job description. Many men can resist the offer but a lot of them also cannot.

If the product for sale was anything else, I don't think it would be deemed fair marketing practices.

i've seen some absolute bollocks posted on TF .... but this is up there with the best of them !!

u just see all those terrified punters in nana, pat pong et all turning white with fear and running for the exit when the girls approach !!!

[Wagner]

i've seen some absolute bollocks posted on TF .... but this is up there with the best of them !!

u just see all those terrified punters in nana, pat pong et all turning white with fear and running for the exit when the girls approach !!!

It is nice to excel in something so early in the game.

You do have point in if indeed a forceful marketing strategy should be seen as such if the clientel readily accepts it. I don't intend to deny that in any way.

But I also hope you don't intend to deny these strategies described earlier do take place.

I think we both have a valid point.

[PeeMarc]

XAO - "As for the question, I'm unsure if I could, marrying a Thai woman seems so hard without her having worked in bar, it would require so much more effort and understanding between each other to work, I just don't know.

edit: Love overcomes all, so the answer would be yes."

Xao - marrying a Thai woman who has NOT worked in bar and has never been a part of that life is NOT as hard as you think. There are so many great Thai girls who have never even seen these places.

The problem doesnt only lie with them....its also with those farang who refuse to try to go where the great girls are and find how to meet and get along. This requires a sh*t load of patience, learning about language, customs and culture. Not so easy.... but entirely possible and is happening all the time.

So many farang follow the path of least resistance here and just end up with only the girls who are easiest to meet and speak reasonable english... not to mention play pool, drink beer, party and chew gum etc....lol

As far as 'Love conquors all...." I dont agree entirely.

[bigKus]

Oh.. please.. You guys dont think too much.. just marry them, k ?

Here promotion vdo support..,

convinced ?

[PeeMarc]

Haha... BigKus.... well done!!

[bigKus]

Haha... BigKus.... well done!!

Pee Marc.. thanks.. actually, i feel a bit sad.. but whatever.. hope education would help some people :?

[iBatch]

Seem like most guys wont marry them. But so many guys go to them? Even if it seem they're too well-known of being slutty..

I think some of those gals if they have choise they would not do that. Maybe some does and some dun. All hooker are not all that bad. I know they shag for money. But what else they could do if they have no education and yes always end up with no buck bcoz of poverty.

Interesting point. Well, prostitution is not a job like any other but then again it is a job. I think that most of the people who participated in this thread expressed somehow that the girls should be "saved" from that profession. It is not that self-evident to me coz I assume many of them like it but many don't. On the other hand I think none can participate in this profession without being seriously fu*ed up - including receivers of services.

But then again there are guys who go for these girls and if they like the girls and if the girls like them and if they feel like that why not get married. As you say some girls may not be bad at all and maybe they can even help to each other. Some guys may loose lots of money by being cheated, others will find out it's not what they want... but for some it may work.

Agreed 8)

[PeeMarc]

Haha... BigKus.... well done!!

Pee Marc.. thanks.. actually, i feel a bit sad.. but whatever.. hope education would help some people :?

The whole situation is very sad actually BigKus, if we choose to see that way. But, I think that people putting their thoughts and feelings about this (even if not agree with all) in the open is healthy and can lead to some good. Or at least a better understanding between people.

Surely this is better than closing eyes and hoping it will all go away.

[Yoi]

I suppose because Thailands prostitution is unique in that the public farang side of it involves very little in human trafficking, and a lot more in social economics. Italy is a HUGE human trafficking center, hence marrying one of those girls seems so much more absurd when she's confined in a room all day or constantly over looked by a pimp with fierce deadlines to meet per day backed by violence when not.

Are you sure trafficking is less of a problem in Thailand than in Italy? On google it doesn't look obvious.

[Loburt]

I suppose because Thailands prostitution is unique in that the public farang side of it involves very little in human trafficking, and a lot more in social economics. Italy is a HUGE human trafficking center, hence marrying one of those girls seems so much more absurd when she's confined in a room all day or constantly over looked by a pimp with fierce deadlines to meet per day backed by violence when not.

Are you sure trafficking is less of a problem in Thailand than in Italy? On google it doesn't look obvious.

There is a huge amount of human trafficking in Thailand, and not just for the flesh trade.

But in venues that most falangs tend to patronize, it appears that most of the women were not trafficked.

[anenglishman]

will you marry man who pay for sex...?

Rather a good point.

How about we define prostitute? Working in a gogo or beer bar. Goes to Biergarden on Soi 7? Works in pool bar but can be barfined? A student finding a bf to pay her uni fees? An office girl finding a bf to pay rent? A model sleeping with a director to get work? And so on.....

I met a woman, a long time ago, from Estonia, via Russia. Very nice, very beautiful and very sexy. Most important of all, a great heart. We dated for a while and then I went to see her in Estonia.

A few things about her story did not add up. mainly that the name in her passport was not the same as her name! Well the stpry unraveled She was broke and decided to get a job as a stripper, working in Iceland. She bought the passport from another woman to enable her to travel. She insisted that it was dancing only. Did I believe her? Not really but it mattered little. Her reasons for doing the job were simple. As a Russian living in Estonia, getting work was almost impossible. She had a young daughter and no husband, she needed the money.

Was she a prostitute? Maybe....I really don't know. Did I care? No. We stayed together for 5 years. It did not work out ultimately....my fault not hers. And she is now married to a great guy from Scotland.

It is very easy to make judgments about people. Often we get it wrong.

[CessyInBkk]

will you marry man who pay for sex...?

Rather a good point.

How about we define prostitute? Working in a gogo or beer bar. Goes to Biergarden on Soi 7? Works in pool bar but can be barfined? A student finding a bf to pay her uni fees? An office girl finding a bf to pay rent? A model sleeping with a director to get work? And so on.....

I met a woman, a long time ago, from Estonia, via Russia. Very nice, very beautiful and very sexy. Most important of all, a great heart. We dated for a while and then I went to see her in Estonia.

A few things about her story did not add up. mainly that the name in her passport was not the same as her name! Well the stpry unraveled She was broke and decided to get a job as a stripper, working in Iceland. She bought the passport from another woman to enable her to travel. She insisted that it was dancing only. Did I believe her? Not really but it mattered little. Her reasons for doing the job were simple. As a Russian living in Estonia, getting work was almost impossible. She had a young daughter and no husband, she needed the money.

Was she a prostitute? Maybe....I really don't know. Did I care? No. We stayed together for 5 years. It did not work out ultimately....my fault not hers. And she is now married to a great guy from Scotland.

It is very easy to make judgments about people. Often we get it wrong.

Actually I post the above comment in the wrong place..It's just my reaction to the way many guys here make judgment about the other sex.So I only want to look at it from the other side. Woman who sleep with guys for money is bad but guys who pay for sex is ok ??? Any way this is the other issue.

Well I totally agree with your last sentence...and thanks for sharing ur experience here.