Arriba Mexico Night... LAST NIGHT!

[Shamu]

It wasnt me....! No rude comments from me,

I didnt get to go out (

Sorry Cherie... lame excuse i know, But at least I will be able to SEE you at the next one.!

Bring your mrs along if you can, mate :wink:

Cherie - if my Mrs was a donkey no worries but she is a camel, she told me just didnt feel like she could fit in

[English_Bob]

English Bob is called Dave and runs a Mexican restaurant?

Thats nothing; Used to know an Indian called Pev who ran an Irish bar called O'Malleys in Croatia!!!

:twisted:

And English Bob who runs a Mexican Restaurant used to date a Vietnamese girl called Kim who runs an Italian Restaurant in Thailand...

[LakeGeneve]

Though I didn't witness any of it myself, I heard enough stories and received enough complaints about what he did last night.

I have sent this member a message and a warning regarding his actions.

I find this quite interesting. Where does the right of the site administrator stem from in order to be able to admonish someone for inappropriate behaviour at a TF event? I'm not stating that it was wrong of you and not welcomed by those involved but wondering where it leads admin.

The behaviour characterised was most inappropriate and seemingly a form of sexual harassment. The latter should NEVER be tolerated whatever the circumstances and a cross cultural setting often makes it more acute. Cherie has shown maturity by not name calling while stating the conduct and restraint in not identifying the person. (Lots of people get sworn at for much less on this site.) I would hope that the guy concerned having read Cheries posts at least shows some maturity and responsibility to at least apologise in some way after.

Surely, it is the obligation on those in attendance to intervene in such situations if someone is in obvious distress, or if later advised. The manager of the premises obviously did just that in the end. I have the impression that Dave is the type that would not shirk from tossing out any jerk and giving them a stern talking.

It would seem reasonable for the organiser of the event to have a responsibility to ensure that no one who has signed up for the event acts inappropriately and to intervene accordingly. They would be well within their right to ask the person to leave if it warranted. And if someone who did not sign up turns up, (TF member or not) then the organiser could ask the manager to take action.

I was not there and don't know what happened but it was obviously very upsetting and annoying for a number of TF members. So throwing the idiot out seemed to have dealt with the situation and I am sure he will not get invites again (word gets around).

I am just wondering how admin sees that they have the right to admonish and warn someone when admin was not there (distinguishing between admin.s role as site administrator and an act based on personal friendship to any party). Others who were there are perhaps better placed to so.

Ok, I understand that Admin received many complaints and this is a clear case of inappropiate behaviour based on the info posted. But this could be a slippery slope for Admin. When you sign up for TF there are clear Terms and Conditions (which are quite good in scope) regarding online conduct.

However, regulating conduct in the real world at TF events (does this include dates or initimate interaction following an event?) seems much more problematic. If there is a Conditions of Attendance when you sign up for an event then it may be appropriate. It was dealt with by Cherie & Dave at the time. The TF community will deal with it by giving the guy a wide berth.

This site is going to attract all types and as is evidenced almost every week by some idiot who operate on the gross misunderstanding that they can post a request for sex or ?a companion? for a holiday. They generally get a pretty quick strong rebuke so there is a good amount of self regulation among the posters taking place. I would assume that it is generally the same at TF events.

The balance between providing a space for the wide diversity of social interaction and ensuring respect and responsibility for members is an invidious balance on any social networking site. I do not envy those charged with doing so.

I could be wrong but any attempt at regulating members conduct off line at TF events is going to be very tricky for you and the mods if your not there as an attendee, fraught with many dangers. (How to deal with rumours, vexatious complaints, standard of proof, right of response etc) You create a precedent and potentially expectations without a clear mandate, due process and a framework. It may lead you to place where it become quite burdensome or potentially unreasonable.

Then again it could be just a once off?

[Administrator]

I was there, and did speak with the TF member in question that evening.

TF is a community, be it online or off. We as mods and admins try and make everything related to TF as safe and fun as possible.

You do bring up a good point. Where do we draw the line? If someone was meeting people on TF, inviting them out, drugging them, having their way with them, and then coming back to TF to find more prey, would you ban them from the site? I sure would...in a heartbeat.

Sexual harassment, online or at any of our events is simply not allowed (unless it's one of those sexual harassment theme parties).

Where would you draw the line?

[LakeGeneve]

I was there, and did speak with the TF member in question that evening.

TF is a community, be it online or off. We as mods and admins try and make everything related to TF as safe and fun as possible.

And this is great and why it seems that the site and community does so well.

You do bring up a good point. Where do we draw the line? If someone was meeting people on TF, inviting them out, drugging them, having their way with them, and then coming back to TF to find more prey, would you ban them from the site? I sure would...in a heartbeat.

Sexual harassment, online or at any of our events is simply not allowed (unless it's one of those sexual harassment theme parties).

Where would you draw the line?

I appreciate your response and didn't realise you were there and had acted accordingly so it obviously negates my query. What you did in speaking to him is cleary what should be done as well as being turfed out of the place. The example given inferring sexual assault by someone preying on the site resulting in being banned is very obvious and desired. We would all agree that it should rightly lead to more serious repercussions under the law (if so sought).

Clealry, the line in relation to sexual harrasment is clear when I said it should never be tolerated. The fact that men are willing to take responsibility in dealing with other mens inappropiate conduct towards women is important and this can play a positive role beyond the 'TF community'. That you as the site admin are making such a clear statement on this on the site is also important, not that is was ever questioned.

But as it is difficult to police everyones conduct outside the online world at TF events iof one ins not in attendence, so I was wondering how you saw admins responsibility and the causal connection. So thanks for your response.

(I must confess I have never seen one of those sexual harrasment theme parties listed but I am willing to make the sacrifice to be on the receiving end......assuming that I am harassed by a person of my sexual preference!).

[Chatty]

What's happen?

I was there but I didn't know? I might left too early to see such a thing... :roll: It was good party so pity when someone screwed up.

[Chatty]

I didnt notice neighter as I went home at midnight...

perhaps a reason to stay longer next time??

hmm you are the host, right?

[English_Bob]

OK... I stayed to the end and I was involved... obviously as I'm the manager.

There was a TF guy who drank too much and got out of control.

I had three separate complaints about his behaviour - touching inappropriately and verbal abuse towards the TF ladies.

I politely asked him to leave. He agreed to leave but wanted one more round of touching the girls. Then I insisted he leave BEFORE grabbing the girls again... still with no drama.

I walked him to the door, where he turned nasty and was ejected 'with reasonable force' onto the soi.

There was no blood or broken bones... maybe a couple of bruises and a monster hangover.

Everyone has the potential to get drunk and nasty. I know he drank a LOT that night and I'm sure he's embarrassed about what happened.

I'd like to draw a line under this one unpleasant episode and remember the rest of the night which was GREAT!

[tonyP]

I walked him to the door, where he turned nasty and was ejected 'with reasonable force' onto the soi.

Where was Condo's camera when this happened - damn!

:wink:

[Stramash]

I agree totally with Bob - it is perhaps time that a line was drawn under this. The responses of site admin and Bob (as owner of hostelry) have been quick and admirable, and it has been made very clear that this sort of behaviour is unacceptable at TF events.

I'm sure that the person responsible woke up not only with a monster hangover, but hopefully a deep rooted sense of shame and regret at his actions, an diwll never repeat them.

Other than this, it sounds as though everyone enjoyed themselves, so maybe we should concentrate on that.

And Bob, if I use your place for my arrival party, will you promise not to let the bouncers bruise me too much when I get on table piss*d and start singing 'Flower of Scotland'???

:twisted:

[English_Bob]

And Bob, if I use your place for my arrival party, will you promise not to let the bouncers bruise me too much when I get on table piss*d and start singing 'Flower of Scotland'???

:twisted:

They have flowers in Scotland? I thought it was all thistles and concrete...

Actually I have no bouncers... it's just me....

And I'm not tangling with those crazies from over Hadrian's Wall!!!

(unless my Thai kitchen boys wanna come out with their meat cleavers... )

[Stramash]

And Bob, if I use your place for my arrival party, will you promise not to let the bouncers bruise me too much when I get on table piss*d and start singing 'Flower of Scotland'???

:twisted:

They have flowers in Scotland? I thought it was all thistles and concrete...

Actually I have no bouncers... it's just me....

And I'm not tangling with those crazies from over Hadrian's Wall!!!

(unless my Thai kitchen boys wanna come out with their meat cleavers... )

see, that would be fighting talk (if it wasnt for the thought of Thai kitchen staff with meat cleavers)

And anyway, we are harmless, tuneful drunks (until some idiot mentions Celtic or Rangers, or even Bannockburn!!)

No bouncers?? Want one? lol

:twisted: