Why do girls go back to women beaters. I have a mongolian girl who works for me who has a bf that hits her. One time I rang her up to tell her when to next come in to work and found myself speaking to a jealous idiot of a bf or ex bf as she told me. He decided to threaten me down the phone, I told him I was her boss and he really shouldn't be getting jealous but he just got worse so I told him not to be stupid and not to give her a hard time because I was calling her. After this chat I told her I do not want her personal life brought in to my work and I did not want him coming to my bar. This is when she told me that she moved to get away from him as he beat her but he kept calling her so she eventually met up with him, he then forced her to show her where she lived.Yesterday he turned up at my bar when she was working and I was off duty having a drink with a few friends just before heading off to meet some others people. He starts rowing with her at the bar and so I step up and say what's going on here. He started shouting and said she had to go with him, she was looking very upset so I pushed him out the door of the bar and said to him that he cant behave like this here its my business and my customers cant see this. With this he gets quite aggressive and threatens me. Bad move!!!! It's not easy running a bar where I am I have to put up with with lots of gangsters on a regular basis and this guy really wasn't in their league.I grabbed him and told him if he wasn't careful he was going to be in a whole lot of trouble, not the words I used but you get the idea. He instantly realised he had messed with the wrong person and backed down apologising and left. I thought this was the end of it so I left to go out with my friends.

After I had gone he turned up again calling her from outside constantly looking in the window at her and summoning her outside, My supervisor did not know how to deal with this so he told her the best thing to do was just to leave with him to stop the customers seeing it. I then got a phone call from her friend who was also mongolian telling me that this girl had called her (in her language so he could not understand) to tell me that she was ok he was just drunk and she would call me tomorrow. I think I will have to tell her not to come back to work I cant have this sort of behaviour going on it's not good for business and could have gotten very messy. I feel sorry for her but if I get involved it will just cause more problems for her as she has not learnt from her mistakes. Such a shame when people let people control their lives apparently its not the first job she has lost because of his behaviour.  

stay out of it brother i have help 3 different women 3 different times and each time it cost me. granted the last time was worth it because the guy got 25 years of jail time but damm it cost me a business..

you can stop him coming to you'r bar , but cannot get invold in there personal problems ,,,,

Sacking the girl because of her boyfriends behaviour is a bit harsh, but I can understand why youre thinking that way.

As a matter of interest, would you have to follow a disciplinary procedure before you can sack her, eg verbal and written warnings etc............. or does she not have those rights as an employee? Shes hardly guilty of gross misconduct which is usually the reason for instant dismissal.

you mess in that with thai man i bet my last dollar only you will get hurt ,you should talk with you'r ladies and tell them you don't want they are boyfriends to come to you'r bar ,

Posted by I_am_George [ 7 January 2008 | 6:18PM ]

Sacking the girl because of her boyfriends behaviour is a bit harsh, but I can understand why youre thinking that way.

As a matter of interest, would you have to follow a disciplinary procedure before you can sack her, eg verbal and written warnings etc............. or does she not have those rights as an employee? Shes hardly guilty of gross misconduct which is usually the reason for instant dismissal. <<<

depends how long she's worked there ... unless the law has changed (or i'm wrong which is highly unlikely) u can sack someone for no reason in their first 2 years of service !!

I am george

She has already had warnings and a letter because she turned up late because of him before not forgetting him threatening me down the phone, She was already told that he was not allowed to come in to the bar and if he turned up causing trouble she would not be able to work here any more. If I am losing business because her bf is turning up causing trouble I have no alternative not forgetting it is not safe for my other staff. I have to think of my business and other staff first.

Theres one couple, a wife let her husband beat the baby to dead.

you really should have beat him into a pulpy mess. the only way they learn not to hit is if their hands are broken in so many places they never heal.

that said, bottom line is *she* has to be the one to kick him to the curb, and you can't let her screwed up life ruin your business so you did what you have to do.

oh...u be careful. The man might try to take a revenge for sacking her.

You are right Shorty - dont let this be your business. Down south at Phuket there are those mafia -like structures as well and if you poke your nose into the wrong business you might easily end up with a spoke in your lungs - killed by a burmese paid killer for the price of two thousand Thai Baht..

maybe they are a sadist couple..thats why shes still with him..

Hmmm this sitiation happens everywhere. Yep it seem many ladies like the bad boys

well, I know someone who cant leave her bf who beat her many times when he lost his mind (effected by drugs). She ran away many times but the guy never stop trying to give her more shame, he'd calling anyone in her family also call to their works untill she turned up and he would stop after all... Just he wont beat her after found her but once in awhile after taking drugs for some amount then he will turn to be an evil again...

They are a couple, they have one lovely son together.. everytime the guy'd found her or made her show up so it been years and she can never left... Only way to solve this is the guy die. I have never been in her shoes, well I had a bf who use drug and beat me a few times when he totally lost his mind. I didnt left him when he was in that terrible moment but we split up after he got all well. I can just tell myself that how lucky I am that I dont have to live my life with someone who use drug that long. I didnt say I didnt like to be with my ex but Im glad he's no longer involve with drug even we're not together anymore.

You're not right or wrong but its only way to do as a boss... to be the leader you have to take action.. As a boss, you got right to sack her as no one would like their staff who is always sick, always has problem, always late etc..

but if as a friend, as a brother, as a relative.. maybe this is not the right way to do but maybe the best way to do.. who knows.

JC HKT---he said his employee was mongolian not thai. Didnt you know his bar was in Mongolia?? You should check it out.

These guys are scumbags.....they get involved with a lady and slowly rob them of thier dignity and self esteem. Unfortunately, the longer the lady stays with the "man" ( I'm using that word very lightly right now) the harder it becomes to get away. I work at a jail here in Hawaii and I have worked with female prisoners and i've heard this story a thousand times, I think a lot of it has to do with the lady's self esteem in the first place and once in the situation, they just can't seem to find the strength to leave the relationship.

I feel sorry for the lady you were talking about. I understand that you can't have that sort of thing happening at your business, but more than likely two things happened on that day. 1...this lady lost her job because of an a**hole 2...this lady probably got badly beaten when she got home that day.

If she were a good employee, you might want to give her a little time off to put things in order and get things straightened out (if it's possible). Perhaps this may give her the "push" she needs to get away from this jerk and if she does, who knows....you might end up with one of the best employees you ever had.

@Dan501 - you are right somehow - but more likely he will end up dead murdered by a paid burmese killer. I have heard that story more than once over the years at Koh Phuket. These guys are relatively easy to find for the bad guys, they are cheap, quite reliable and they leave the country as soon as the "job" is finished. And who cares if another Farang is executed and found dead ? Such cases are among the first to be closed by authorities. Bar business, even if it is a normal bar aint our business. I would give her a time limit and if she wasnt able to set things straight, then sack her with a backdoor - comeback option after a three months break. This is a quite human decision.

@Damnam1- You to are also right, you need to be careful about "poking your nose" is someone elses personal business ( although I'm sure shortyg meant well, and I'm pretty sure I would have done the same thing....can't stand pricks like that! ). Unfortunately, it is way too easy to have someone killed or badly beaten in Thailand ( and quite a few other countries as well !!! ). I have a friend whos sister was murdered in Koh Samui in July.....a man simply walked into her office, asked for her by name and then shot her three times (rumor has it her husband was behind this)....still unsolved.

hmmm I think u did the right thing! better just avoid this kind of person ..when they get angry they even more stupid and if a gun in their hand..ur story will end up like the farang who die in Pai..not worth it...i feel sick if the girl really want him back....but that kind of story is not new to me... i was in the same situation as u when i have to fight for the girl´s right...but at the end...when they get back together...I feel like ****!!

this girl is really stupid , i got too many friends acting like this , let man tell her what she should do and called that @love@ , u r right, should let her learn her lesson

if she clean herself ( him) then she can always come back , but i sure she wont' haha.

if the girl likes to hang with guys like this, that's her business...........everything is up to the person..........you can only say so much, if they don't wish to listen to you........why bother to get involved?