This is the cost of breaking up. There are many costs you may have to pay. Breakup cost is the main reason why people become stuck in dysfunction or mediocre relationships. Mathematically, breakup cost is written as:

breakup cost = breakup emotional cost + breakup financial cost + total benefit from current love + unrealized invested cost from current love + replacement cost for another love + previous friendship loss*

replacement cost for another love = search cost for another love + rejection cost for another love + research cost for another love

*Note: Only include for love that accidentally evolved from a previous friendship.

1. Breakup Emotional Cost

If you are the one being dumped, your emotional cost may be lowered self-esteem, depression, loneliness, and/or regret. If you are the one who initiated the breakup, you may feel guilty for inflicting so much pain on your former lover or wasting his/her time. Both you and your former lover may suffer love withdrawal symptoms, such as anxiety, insomnia, and loneliness after the breakup.

2. Breakup Financial Cost

If your relationship was serious, additional financial cost may emerge. If you are married and getting a divorce, your former spouse may be entitled to half of your net worth. Also, you both may have to hire divorce lawyers. You may have to pay alimony if you have children. If you moved in with your lover, you may have to find another place to live. If you are engaged, your fiancé may decide to keep the engagement ring.

3. Total Benefit of Current Love

When love ends, all benefits of that love are lost.

4. Unrealized Invested Cost of Current Love: Emotional, Time, and Financial Cost

As a relationship's duration increases, the total cost of love increases. After breaking up, the expected returns from invested cost of finding, researching, and maintaining your doomed relationship will not be fully realized. As people invest more time, money, and emotions into a relationship, people become more committed to the relationship. It is hard for people to admit to themselves that they have made the wrong choice and have wasted their time, money, and emotions on the wrong person.

5. Search Cost for Another Love

What is your search cost of finding someone comparable or better than your existing lover? If the relationship ends, could you find another love? What will the market for you look like?

6. Rejection Cost for Another Love

What is the rejection cost for another love? How will you feel if you are rejected by another love?

7. Research Cost for Another Love

What is the research cost for another lover? How much more time, money, and energy will be spent to verify that your next lover will be the right one.

8. Previous Friendship Loss

This cost refers to love that had arisen unexpectedly from a friendship. This cost was invested before the relationship started so this cost differs from the cost that was spent while in love. Usually the best loves are those that started off as friendships. However, the question, whether falling in love would change or end the friendship if the relationship ends, always becomes a big issue.

----- so ...think before breaking up.... or even start having relationship....

To break up with someone is headache enough ... I give up to think further about the cost ... lol ...

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So thats a total cost of 350 baht and a sore head?

Beej...where is TB350 from ja?

ha ha!! Puriku.... ¡ÒÃŧ·Ø¹ÃÕ¤ÇÒÃàÊÕè§ .... ¤ÇÃÈÖ¡ÉÒãËé´Õ¡èù¡ÒÃŧ·Ø¹.... ¢Ö鹤ҹ¡çÂÃùÃà¹ÕèÂ....

investment is risky... better analyze and research before investing....

anyway... high risk - high return....

10 year relationship...What is the total breakup cost???

...a lot probably. ---- But if it makes the person feel better then it's all worth it.

AAA, from the marriage-divorce statistics, we can only say that "hope triumphs over experience."

But, if you make certain that your future hubby can provide at least as much satisfaction as that puppy, you will probably be OK. ;-))

funny u mention. i just ran into my old friend a few hours ago............... the last time i ran into him was about 8 months ago, back then he told me that his gf was very jealous and psychotic.

this time he told me that they have split up, then the girl came back to try to patch things up... it didnt work out... so she left him (again) ... But this time, along with his 2 electric guitars and a laptop!

i didnt ask how much they cost.....

(they are both Thai, btw.)

Geri >> it might mean nothing ja.... 1 years or 10 years.... all ended up with nothing...

PiAnt>> rather agree so... BUT.... i recalled your 3 high heels shoes..... errrrr....... what should i tell you? ...errrr....

friendlyCat >> i agree so... ammmm... my tentative hubby VS that puppy.....ammmmm...

OutOfOrder >> ammm... now breakup cost mainly is for financial one.... 2 electric guitars and a laptop

and.... he would pay for emotional cost... "pity".... not for girl but for those stuff....

Sounds like the only ones that win are the lawyers.

I knew there was something about bachelorness that makes it a higher form of being... ;-)

funky...why just lawyer???

how about investor?

PiAnt >>> ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! .... acknowledge that....

PiAnt>> already beautiful ja... but need to fill up a bit more...

good night kaaaaaaaaaaa........

The emotional cost was high for me when I broke up with Amy, but I am saving money now. We are still in touch though

Aum I just cant help seeing some positives here!! LOL!.... See my journal!

do we need to add 7% vat and 15 % service fee?

OutOfOrder: "(they are both Thai, btw.)"

....... the laptop and guitars, or your friends??? confused... sorry..its early Sunday morning here in HKG...headache...cost of beers...too difficult...

Beej: I think I know that place...but I suspect the prices are higher these days...

Greer

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do!

But it's always on the cards that you will find a better suited partner as one knows what he or she is looking for and find a partner with more suited qaulities.

NigelBragg >> i know you are paying "research cost" now.... Ghee... you, too..right?

ukjamie >> no pain no gain ja....

hbkbkk >> 7% is for our government...so doest count.... for service fee, 15%, why that's (too) high? i have seen only 10%.... ohhh... have you got the extra charge?.... better find the right market though....

Imperfectionist.... high risk - high return.... but have to know how to idetify and control risk.... so you could manage it... or maybe just try low risk - some return

BJ >> right!! it's like playing card.... sometimes we know the great card (or the card we want to fulfill ours) might be in someone's hand ..... but we cant have it...unless that one drop it...when s/he realizes it's not important anymore....

Ghee, i know you have financial strength....

Posted by OutOfOrder [ 11 May 2008 | 1:04AM ]

funny u mention. i just ran into my old friend a few hours ago............... the last time i ran into him was about 8 months ago, back then he told me that his gf was very jealous and psychotic.

this time he told me that they have split up, then the girl came back to try to patch things up... it didnt work out... so she left him (again) ... But this time, along with his 2 electric guitars and a laptop!

i didnt ask how much they cost.....

--------------------------------------

Well..quite alot i suppose..

Right... costs are important, better to think about before to breakup, but i think that gains are much more relevant.

Everything good you learned from your partner, all the joy you felt with him or her, the life you shared together helping each other in difficult times...

These things are all gold to me, and I think they deserve to be protected by the frustrations or sadness that relationship not ending at the right moment will bring along.