I am caught in the middle between two choices: once in a life time wedding reception or an awesome honeymoon in an exotic destination.

My family somewhat expects a wedding reception due to the tradition and social expectation. I believe all parents want to see their daughter in her wedding gown. With Thai wedding here, the guests will mainly be the parents' guests. I want my wedding day to be my day with people who matter in my life, not my parent's bosses and colleagues. Yet it's inevitable.

But if I don't have a reception, I'd disappoint my family.

With the estimate budget for a wedding reception, it is more than enough to splurge in an exotic destination like Maldives or Japan. It'd be "our" time and "our" celebration. I am more than certain we'd have a great and memorable time with each other. But I might kick myself later for not choosing the big day.

If you were to choose between these two, what would you choose and why?

Thanks for your comments!

umm... Do you mean these are the choices after the wedding ceremony in the morning right? if so, I will choose an awesome honeymoon. As I think the wedding ceremony is already tell people that I am going to spend the rest of my life with someone.

but if you mean you are not going to have any wedding ceremony. I disagree as I think every mom wants to see their child get married. It's a way to make your mom happy.

or maybe you can do the Thai wedding ceremony in the morning and save money for the wedding reception for your honeymoon...

It's not a once-in-a-lifetime holiday... You can go to the Maldives any other year.

Your wedding is (supposed to be) a once-in-a-lifetime experience...

In Farangland we make this an easy question because the parents of the bride pay for the wedding ceremony/reception. They can have as extravagant an event as they want to since they're paying for it.

One thing I've learned over the years is that people always want more than what they themselves would be willing to pay for.

For instance, assuming you live on a modest budget (not rich and not poor) if you go to a restaurant and you have to pay the bill, you eat within your budget. If your friend tells you that they're paying then all of a sudden you're browsing the steak and lobster sections of the menu.

So if you really want to get a good idea on how much you should spend on your ceremony/reception ask your parents how much they would be willing to give you to pay for it. You don't have to actually take the money, but that is about what they think it's worth. Of course they would like to have something better but we would all love to eat steak and lobster every night too. :-)

Self Indulgence.

Wedding is a show.

Self Indulgence.

Wedding is a show.

What does the groom want?

Definitely go for the wedding over the honeymoon. It's such a memorable day for EVERYONE. Believe it or not, many of the guests won't forget that day too. I'm sure you and him are both special to many people, and not giving those who care about you a day like that over a honeymoon is a bit selfish (in my opinion).

And honestly...having a great wedding day is a bit selfish in and of itself. Self indulge in the wedding!!

wedding , Shannon, you won't be disappointed.... (when is the date? lucky girl!!!!!)

I cheer for the wedding, too. There are many wedding organizations in BKK so you can save a lot of money to find the suitable but nice one for your great day ^^

i would suggest that ... for ur 1st wedding have the big once in a lifetime wedding reception ... paid for by ur parents .... or bith sets of parents !!!

then for ur second wedding have the truely awesome honeymoon .... however, unless u r into beaches, sand, sun and diving (or snorkelling) i wouldn't recommend the maldives !!! there's **** all to do there except eat, drink, sunbathe, dive and shag !!

What is a wedding for?

For you or for your relatives?

If you have to pay for it, just choose the honeymoon option! It is about the two of you and I personally would not give a crap on the opinion of aunts, uncles and cousins.

Do what you think is good for you!

Hey guys... thanks a lot for your comments. Seems like having a wedding ceremony is a better option, even my fiance said so as well. Although he's the one paying for everything, he said I should have a reception however I see fit, because it will not be the same doing it later. Honeymoon can be done later, and not that we haven't been to all these cool places in the past anyway.

So yeah... I'm going ahead with the white wedding gown, the venue, cards and souvenirs hunting soon! Wish me luck!!!

If I had that chance I would go for the wedding. As Sasie says, there are many wedding packages in BKK.

Good luck na kha...

Just speak with your parents about it: they can hear this...

go for the wedding girl! coz wedding cannot come again and you can go on vacations again later in ur life

Wedding Day. As Thais wedding goes, your parent's friends arrive the party with money in the envelop. Invite lots and lots of them. Then that's paid for the party itself and maybe some left for your honeymoon.

I know this is heartless and cold comment, but it's real and rational eh?

My sister was to be married next year, sadly my mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer this year. My sister immediately moved the wedding to the nearest day we could fit it in, this was 6 weeks after they said my mum was teminal. The night before the wedding my mum took a turn for the worse, in the morning my sister went to cancel her wedding but my mum insisted she went ahead with it. We had the ceremony and the reception with friends and family taking turns to come back to the house and sit with my mum. She was so happy to have a all the family together to see us dressed for the wedding and to share the moment with us. The next evening we all stayed with my mum and about midnight I gave her a kiss on the cheek and said goodnight, by this point she had stopped eating and drinking and was already in a coma from the drugs. Ten minutes later I had a knock on the door saying she had passed away. She was happy she got to see my sister married and share that with her family. I will never again think a wedding is just for the husband and bride. For this reason I feel you will have the rest of your life with your partner so maybe give the family that one day.

My sister was to be married next year, sadly my mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer this year. My sister immediately moved the wedding to the nearest day we could fit it in, this was 6 weeks after they said my mum was teminal. The night before the wedding my mum took a turn for the worse, in the morning my sister went to cancel her wedding but my mum insisted she went ahead with it. We had the ceremony and the reception with friends and family taking turns to come back to the house and sit with my mum. She was so happy to have a all the family together to see us dressed for the wedding and to share the moment with us. The next evening we all stayed with my mum and about midnight I gave her a kiss on the cheek and said goodnight, by this point she had stopped eating and drinking and was already in a coma from the drugs. Ten minutes later I had a knock on the door saying she had passed away. She was happy she got to see my sister married and share that with her family. I will never again think a wedding is just for the husband and bride. For this reason I feel you will have the rest of your life with your partner so maybe give the family that one day.

Your story brought tears to my eyes. Earlier today, I was thinking of scraping the whole plan, because I haven't seemed to make progress during the past few weeks on getting the initial stage finalize. I will keep you story in mind. Thank you very much for sharing.

My condolences for your loss as well.

stay determined Shannon!

too many people just give up -- let the smaller things pile up --or other people invade.

.. you know what you want and and have found fullfilling

...now is the time to get on with it! -- Happy for you! :)