Would you marry an (ex) prostitute?

[jnathan]

i think its not about that the guys consider themselves being to good for marrying a prostitute but to know that it will implicate heavy emotional problems when facing the fact that she got screwed by mabye 1000 guys before...

you cant change your past but you can make your future.. I dont think not many women like to be screwed by 1000 guys who they hardly know, but some time they just cant say NO.

If I gonna marry someone I will decide by what kind of person he is not just what is his sexual history...I hope many guys (not all I know) will do the same.

I'd love her if she had loved me, its a give and take. prostitution is just a profession, I respect them. I'd surely marry a pros.

[venus]

How about we define prostitute? Working in a gogo or beer bar. Goes to Biergarden on Soi 7? Works in pool bar but can be barfined? A student finding a bf to pay her uni fees? An office girl finding a bf to pay rent? A model sleeping with a director to get work? And so on.....

ermmmmm a prostitute is a woman who sleep with more than one man ( with many at the same day, week, month. ect.,) simply just to get money?

[Loburt]

I think if she's sleeping with only one man simply to get money, then she qualifies.

[zeusbheld]

I think if she's sleeping with only one man simply to get money, then she qualifies.

and the man she sleeps with qualifies as a trick.

[Geri]

...Ok, we're now on page 11.

Still no sure definition of what a prostitute is. =)

[grezzzy_greer]

This was exactly my point - are you more concerned that she got screwed by a lot of guys or that she took money after it instead of every month or every week?

neither. i'm more concerned with all the baggage that comes with spending any significant time living that lifestyle. if someone can do that without baggage, fine.

obviously, britney spears is totally f**ked in the head regardless of whether she worked as a prostitute, sexed up a thousand guys, etc.

If you are worried about her having sex with the guys, then you should forget about women altogether and become a monk! There are virgins out there, but precious few....so either work it out, or forget it!

see #1 above. also, the careful observer will note that all women do not fit into one of those two categories a) being prostitutes, and/or women with over 1,000 sex partners, or virgins.

shockingly, i have met very few women who have had over a thousand sex partners. outside of whorehouses that is. or britney (i have yet to meet her).

yes absolutely, in fact that is what I am trying to say - that women do fall into two categories, but not those two...they are either virgins (not terribly liklely these days), or they are not. The point being that these are the only two choices, and that I feel it is fairly irrelevant as to how many guys she has or has not had before, but more relevant is the simple question of the relationship and the trust...I too would be shocked/surprised to meet a girl who had screwed 1000 guys, whether they had given her money or not...

I guess I would be in awe of such a feat! Haha!

[beej]

We are all Prostitutes in one way or another so don't go claiming any high ground.

[Guest sandalwood]

This was exactly my point - are you more concerned that she got screwed by a lot of guys or that she took money after it instead of every month or every week?

neither. i'm more concerned with all the baggage that comes with spending any significant time living that lifestyle. if someone can do that without baggage, fine.

obviously, britney spears is totally f**ked in the head regardless of whether she worked as a prostitute, sexed up a thousand guys, etc.

If you are worried about her having sex with the guys, then you should forget about women altogether and become a monk! There are virgins out there, but precious few....so either work it out, or forget it!

see #1 above. also, the careful observer will note that all women do not fit into one of those two categories a) being prostitutes, and/or women with over 1,000 sex partners, or virgins.

shockingly, i have met very few women who have had over a thousand sex partners. outside of whorehouses that is. or britney (i have yet to meet her).

yes absolutely, in fact that is what I am trying to say - that women do fall into two categories, but not those two...they are either virgins (not terribly liklely these days), or they are not. The point being that these are the only two choices, and that I feel it is fairly irrelevant as to how many guys she has or has not had before, but more relevant is the simple question of the relationship and the trust...I too would be shocked/surprised to meet a girl who had screwed 1000 guys, whether they had given her money or not...

I guess I would be in awe of such a feat! Haha!

I believe you, and trust is still the operative word.

Personally, (on the physical side) I couldn't care less if she'd been had by the same guy 1000 times or there have been queues round the block for her, my reservations remain the same, (1000% increase in STD risk notwithstanding.)

When she takes that first conscious decision to put out purely for cash, to me that means she's already started, in her own mind, to block out, to completely detatch herself from any personal or emotional involvement whatsoever with any guy who will be with her. Commonsense if she wants any chance of trying to keep her head together, and I wouldn't blame her.

Why this?

I had a friend once who told me point blank that (over time) she didn't just "shut the guy off" (her words), she really hated what she was doing and actually hated every guy she was with.

And I believed her.

Sorry guys , I may be old now and still single, but I never could marry out of sympathy.

But maybe that's just me.

[zeusbheld]

We are all Prostitutes in one way or another so don't go claiming any high ground.

the bulk of the 'claiming.. high ground' i've seen on this thread has been from people who were outraged at them that are not interested in marrying prostitutes.

[eagle]

We are all Prostitutes in one way or another so don't go claiming any high ground.

the bulk of the 'claiming.. high ground' i've seen on this thread has been from people who were outraged at them that are not interested in marrying prostitutes.

what i see is people reacting to those not just saying they would not but adding some hacks at the girls for working. No matter what we say here a cute girl can get a husband. She can always not tell him what she did if honesty doesn't work for her. The double standard one way or the other will always be there.

[zeusbheld]

We are all Prostitutes in one way or another so don't go claiming any high ground.

the bulk of the 'claiming.. high ground' i've seen on this thread has been from people who were outraged at them that are not interested in marrying prostitutes.

what i see is people reacting to those not just saying they would not but adding some hacks at the girls for working. No matter what we say here a cute girl can get a husband. She can always not tell him what she did if honesty doesn't work for her. The double standard one way or the other will always be there.

while i don't agree that most of what people construed as taking shots at the girls really is, (most of what *i* saw was people pointing out that the girls are likely to have baggage and this is the real reason why they'd avoid them),

i do agree that the hot ones will find a husband. there are a great many guys who base their mating decisions entirely on looks. quite often these end badly, but i'm sure some of these people are content.

for the ones that lie (not tell him), and i'm sure there are quite a few: most i expect would be easy to spot. the ones that aren't easy to spot, after a good few months of dating (which i'd expect would be mandatory before marriage) most likely have genuinely got a move on with their lives.

generally i don't have much patience with liars but if i'd been married to someone a while and things were fine and their 'dark past' came out it wouldnt bother me too much as a) they'd obviously moved on and i can see why they wouldn't want me to know.

short version: if she's no longer working in that particular field, and can act convincingly like she ain't been a ho, then she ain't a ho for my purposes.

[eagle]

That was good summary Zeus. Alot of working girls out there and they sure do need some hope for there future. Alot got forced into the life and without hope its hard to change..........

[Ozman_Bkk]

I suppose it would depend on whether you believe that people [1] deserve the benefit of the doubt [2] deserve the chance to change one's life [3] believe that people can change at all.

What are really talking about here ? A woman who had sex for money. At the end of the day is it different to a woman who "puts out" to get a date/dinner/movie. The only difference is the consideration.

There are women here in Thailand who have moved on from working in bars to live respectable lives. Who will cast the first stone ? My reaction is "GREAT". Not wanting to push my own barrow but I have help several move on to better things and it made me feel good.

[zeusbheld]

FYI i've seen allegations of human trafficking for purposes of prostitution, both INTO thailand (mainly eastern european women, most of whose customers will be asian) and OUT OF thailand (mostly throughout asia, notably HK and singapore, but also to the west).

whether these allegations can be substantiated is another matter, but anecdotal evidence suggests there's something to this.

the following isn't necessarily thailand-specific:

incidentally, prostitutes don't all have horrible lives. some prostitutes make fantastic amounts of money, a few even manage to avoid the drugs and stuff that go with the lifestyle and save that money. the hours are relatively short, and the work is not that heinous, at least compared to the jobs most of the rest of you have...

still, i'm not keen on marrying one... unless of course she wants to pay off my school loan.

[Loburt]

FYI i've seen allegations of human trafficking for purposes of prostitution, both INTO thailand (mainly eastern european women, most of whose customers will be asian) and OUT OF thailand (mostly throughout asia, notably HK and singapore, but also to the west).

whether these allegations can be substantiated is another matter, but anecdotal evidence suggests there's something to this.

Look, there is really no doubt about this. There is plenty of hard evidence.

As I said before, you won't find a lot of trafficked women in places like Nana, Patpong, etc.

But go up to the north and you will find many of the brothels patronized by locals have lots women and underage girls trafficked from Burma.

There are plenty of Thai prostitutes trafficked to Japan, Singapore, Germany and the Middle East.

And in some brothels in Bangkok which are mainly patronized by locals you will find underage girls who are virtual prisoners.

This is from the opening paragraph of the chaper on Trafficking in People from "Guns, Girls, Gambling, Ganja" by Phongpaichit, Piriyarangsan and Treerat:

"Between 1991 and 1994, 20,982 Thai females were deported from Japan as illegal workers. Many had not proper travel documents as they had entered Japan using fake passports of other nationalities. About 80 percent had worked in sex services..."

The information came from Japan's Ministry of Justice.

The book is a few years old, but there is no reason to believe the problem or the numbers have gotten better. More likely, from 1997 onwards they got worse.

[zeusbheld]

FYI i've seen allegations of human trafficking for purposes of prostitution, both INTO thailand (mainly eastern european women, most of whose customers will be asian) and OUT OF thailand (mostly throughout asia, notably HK and singapore, but also to the west).

whether these allegations can be substantiated is another matter, but anecdotal evidence suggests there's something to this.

Look, there is really no doubt about this. There is plenty of hard evidence.

As I said before, you won't find a lot of trafficked women in places like Nana, Patpong, etc.

But go up to the north and you will find many of the brothels patronized by locals have lots women and underage girls trafficked from Burma.

There are plenty of Thai prostitutes trafficked to Japan, Singapore, Germany and the Middle East.

And in some brothels in Bangkok which are mainly patronized by locals you will find underage girls who are virtual prisoners.

This is from the opening paragraph of the chaper on Trafficking in People from "Guns, Girls, Gambling, Ganja" by Phongpaichit, Piriyarangsan and Treerat:

"Between 1991 and 1994, 20,982 Thai females were deported from Japan as illegal workers. Many had not proper travel documents as they had entered Japan using fake passports of other nationalities. About 80 percent had worked in sex services..."

The information came from Japan's Ministry of Justice.

The book is a few years old, but there is no reason to believe the problem or the numbers have gotten better. More likely, from 1997 onwards they got worse.

i had forgotten your earlier post on the numbers of trafficked women in whorehouses in thailand, especially in those places catering to locals.

i figured as much, i was just covering my ass since I don't have the evidence to back up these claims.

i'm guessing the eastern-europeans-into-thailand can probably be substantiated i just haven't seen the info, though i have seen substantial documentation of trafficking of eastern european women into the US, UK, Israel and Dubai. no reason to believe that the 'russians' in bangkok and pattaya are here of their own free will as far as i can tell.

what i'd heard, which may or may not be true, is that women trafficked out of thailand may actually be stabilizing or even declining as more women are being trafficked out of cambodia and the philippines. that i most definitely cannot back up and you'd probably know better than i.

[eagle]

I lived and had a girlfriend in Minnesota, US who was a youth councilor and got called in for a white slavery case. 17 young girls came in who were kidnapped tortured and assaulted by a couple who were preparing tem for sale in Miinneapolis. They were caught and sent to jail the girls adjusted and my GF went Went to Rapid City Hospital for rest and therapy. Trafficing is everywhere .

[robbie36]

There is also the practice that is fairly common in northern Thailand of parents SELLing their daughters - usually to massage parlours. To me this is the equivalent of trafficking given that the girl in question has no say in her own future. It appears that this practice is almost legal in this country while clearly an infringement on basic human rights.

[zeusbheld]

There is also the practice that is fairly common in northern Thailand of parents SELLing their daughters - usually to massage parlours. To me this is the equivalent of trafficking given that the girl in question has no say in her own future. It appears that this practice is almost legal in this country while clearly an infringement on basic human rights.

by most definitions i've seen that IS trafficking yeah.

[Loburt]

by ANY definition that is trafficking.

but it's also not unheard of that some girls sold in this manner rationalize it in their own minds as helping the family. i said "some", repeat SOME.

[zeusbheld]

by ANY definition that is trafficking.

but it's also not unheard of that some girls sold in this manner rationalize it in their own minds as helping the family. i said "some", repeat SOME.

that's why i said "most definitions"; i'm aware of such grey areas with trafficking in thailand but by most definitions i've seen those cases too is trafficking. i think that is correct it should be defined in terms of freedom given up even if this is done knowingly.

[Yoi]

by ANY definition that is trafficking.

but it's also not unheard of that some girls sold in this manner rationalize it in their own minds as helping the family. i said "some", repeat SOME.

Maybe it would be better to use terms like enslaving and slave trade instead of trafficking.

[Yoi]

what i see is people reacting to those not just saying they would not but adding some hacks at the girls for working. No matter what we say here a cute girl can get a husband. She can always not tell him what she did if honesty doesn't work for her. The double standard one way or the other will always be there.

I think there is much confusion in this thread because we weren't able even to define what prostitution was. Also I don't know whether we may consider prostitution as any other regular job. I don't think so but some may disagree.

A girl may work as a prostitute and consider it her profession and she may feel it is OK to do so. On the other hand it may be the only way for her to support her family. Then again girl may be forced into prostitution by any form of coercion or enslavement. Also there seems to be Thai curiosity that some girls join profession in order to find farang husband (it sounds odd but I think somebody mentioned it). There are probably many other reasons, just too many to be discussed.

And finally there are ex-prostitutes. Some may be hiding what they were doing not because they mind it but because they are hiding it before their husbands. Others may deeply regret what they were doing.

From my perspective they all don't seem as ideal group to find a wife. Girls who used to be prostitutes but regret that and are willing to admit their past to theit partner are in my opinion no more ex-prostitutes - they have changed and moved forward (but I wonder how many people like this are there). On the other hand those who are hiding it are the worst possible option. They may be pretty as you mention but they are like that only on the outside. Then there are girls who take prostitution as their profession so they are generally OK and somebody may find them a good match, but to me it feels like too much baggage. And finally there are many women who are in this business because they were coerced and I think we all feel that they should be set free and helped somehow. Somebody may feel that marrying such girl is a great gift to her but I disagree - I feel that is an egoistic and selfish point of view. Marriage is union of two equal persons, not relation between self-conceited man who gives money for sex to a woman that is deeply hurt.

[Wagner]

Somebody may feel that marrying such girl is a great gift to her but I disagree - I feel that is an egoistic and selfish point of view. Marriage is union of two equal persons, not relation between self-conceited man who gives money for sex to a woman that is deeply hurt.

I fully agree with you. These men are actually sentencing the woman to a lifetime of inferiority. Equality is imperative.

I could not offer that to a prostitute and am convinced my company would be detrimental to her in the long run. I don't feel the need to polish my image by running around saving hookers.

If someone is serious about saving a hooker and really in it unselfishly, there are NGOs which can offer balanced and professional assistance to these girls.

However you can't shag that proor pretty hooker now can you if you contribute to the cause through an NGO.

Please notice that I don't mean to imply all those who would consider marrying a prostitute fall under this category, but even by just judging from the posts in this thread it is obvious there are quite a few out there who certainly do.

[Yoi]

If someone is serious about saving a hooker and really in it unselfishly, there are NGOs which can offer balanced and professional assistance to these girls.

However you can't shag that proor pretty hooker now can you if you contribute to the cause through an NGO.

Yeah, that's right. People should be careful what they do with their money because money accelerates what it was used for.