The advice from Mr. Ostrich: how to keep a man
Entry posted by soda ·
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Mr. Ostrich is a friend of my friend?s friends, so then we are friends. Mr. Ostrich is a fine man in his mid thirties, tall, handsome and charming. I always wonder about his life, since he has been living in Thailand for a year or so. I?ve never seen he has girlfriend before, but one thing I know about him is he has BIG & LONG fingers. I used to ask his male friend about his relationship and the answer is? he is a mysterious guy, no one knows about his personal life?.
Mr. Ostrich knows that I curious about him and he always play with my curios mind to entertain himself. One day after party while we sitting in our friend?s car, Ms. Human Specialist. I got questions to ask.
Me: I never heard you have gf, and I wonder how your relationship & sex life like?
Mr. Ostrich: Soda, have you ever heard they say ?lady in pubic and a ***** in bed? this applicable to man, too.
Me: then tell me if you ever shag any girl on this site so I will ask her directly about your?...
Mr. Ostrich: No, I don?t shag girls on this website
Me: why?
Mr. Ostrich: if I did, everyone would know
Me: So you afraid that your manhood would be gossiping about with no spare details?
Mr. Ostrich: Exactly, some girls are kiss and tell here
Ho..ho?I feel as if he slaps me again and again, over and over. Well, we love details though?..
On June 21 we met again it was pool party in a friend?s condo. While everyone enjoy swimming, Mr. Ostrich just sitting by the edge. I asked why he doesn?t swim he said he got flu, that scary. Anyway, I?m on my period, and I don?t want to taint the pool, too, so I just sat next to Mr. Ostrich.
Mr. Ostrich: Soda, I?ve talked to my friends last night about our new rule of dating.
Me: oh yeah?
Mr. Ostrich: from now on we will date a girl who?s less than 28 y/o or upper 35 y/o.
Me: why is that?
Mr. Ostrich: well because girls between 28-33 y/o are very serious in relationship and want to settle, but we?re not in a hurry to make commitment. We need to take time??
Me: so you mean when you are 47-48 you will be settle and looking for serious relationship.
Mr. Ostrich: exactly, when I?m 48 my target is 27-33 coz she?ll be very serious?, too. How old Mr. Kiwi?
Me: 38 y/o. good age eh? The best thing is he has all quality that I looking for, which are maturity, calm & inner peace. Actually my target is between 40-45, and Mr. Kiwi is still in my target?
11.07.09: 8.00 PM at Mr. Grizzly?s condo. Mr. Grizzly invited me to join dinner with other friends, so I took Ms. Swan with me (I prefer to call her Ms. Wild Swan though)
Me: Hey, Swan, look at Mr. Ostrich fingers.
Ms. Swan: Oh yes, what?
Me: He got 8.5?
Ms: Swan: Oh Really? Can I see it? Please??
Mr. Ostrich: No, if you see it, you?ll want to try it. And if you tried it, you?ll want it more & more.
Ms. Swan: C?mon, I just want to see it, but i don't want to use it. I?m not let man shag me before married me.
Mr. Ostrich: Oh Really?????
Mr. Grizzly: Soda, I thought Mr. Kiwi dumped you sometime long ago.
Me: No, he doesn?t dump me. How could he?. He told me he knew he liked me before he met me. How nice to here that. I thought, he kept tracking me until he met me when he said so.
Mr. Grizzly: Well, Mr. Kiwi is the man with his club, after hitting your head. He?d drag you into his cave and presses your head down to his lab. He is the hunter!
Mr. Ostrich: Soda, you need to learn how to keep your man.
Me: in my ending email I wrote? looking forward to give you lots and lots of BJs, is that work?
Mr. Ostrich: well, but you need to act, too. I can give you some advices how to keep a man.
Me: ok, thanks.
Mr. Ostrich: first is BJ. To do good bj you got to have eyes contact, and don't forget to use hair clip to clip your hair fall back. Men love that, it?s excited...
Ms: Swan: do man doesn?t help while woman doing that?
Mr. Ostrich: Well, sometimes they do.
Me: And what else?
Mr. Ostrich: Second is massage you have to go to Wat Po to learn massaging. And third is cooking.
Me: That is not a big deal to me accept the first one. Can I do hand j instead?
Mr. Ostrich: NO, it?s not excited coz men can HJ themselves. Soda, if after 6 months you come back to me, and said ?he?s gone to find someone who gives him BJ?. You?d regret later, so you better practice now.
Me: Ok, Ok, I will practice with cucumber, is that ok?
Mr. Ostrich: HAHA.. That is ok, Good idea!!!
Anyway, If I do that (BJ) and someone ask me to marry immediately I would do my best?lol? 
:D
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