drlovelife8 Posted October 31, 2010 Report Share Posted October 31, 2010 Just for the sake of the thread. Mods, ethnic minorities (and other crappy groups after a buck)... Shut it. Here goes: What's pink and goes up and down in a pram??????? A paedophile's (or my) arse!! Do your worst. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
funky_house Posted October 31, 2010 Report Share Posted October 31, 2010 Gary Glitter is in Chile now. The only place you can slide a minor up and down your shaft and get applauded. :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaunitz Posted October 31, 2010 Report Share Posted October 31, 2010 As I see the way you and some others are posting, I know that it is a kind of "kingdom of darkness", which I generally like. So if you offend me, no harm done because I can retaliate and it's fun. But if you offend my wife like you did recently, then I don't think it's funny anymore but a sign of low-level creature. She's not part of the game we are playing here, so IMHO she should be left out. Go for me instead and we'll have a good fight. For the rest, I'm fine in picking up even a dirty "fight" as long as we know that it's all a troll job! Pun intended! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
English_Bob Posted October 31, 2010 Report Share Posted October 31, 2010 You know when your date is too young for you, when you need to make the 'choo-choo' sound to get your **** in her mouth. Sad that Princess Diana died and all London got was a shitty fountain. But it's better than Paris - all they got was a 'slow down' sign. From this guy at his best... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SagayzX2T7Y Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaunitz Posted October 31, 2010 Report Share Posted October 31, 2010 You know when your date is too young for you, when you need to make the 'choo-choo' sound to get your d*ck in her mouth. Reminds me of the playboy who finally got the 14-year-old girl in his bedroom. Naked, he points between his legs and asks her: "You know what this is?" She answers "That's the pee-pee-man" He, generously smiling, says "no, my dear, this is a PENIS" She answers: "Well, I've seen some penisses, but this is and ever will be a pee-pee-man" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beej Posted October 31, 2010 Report Share Posted October 31, 2010 Haha.... whats with all the Pedo theme jokes? A woman approached me the other day in The Paragon cosmetics department and asked which grooming products I used... .... I replied, Jelly Beans and Barbie dolls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
funky_house Posted October 31, 2010 Report Share Posted October 31, 2010 My girlfriend said to me that my penis closely resembled a Tic-Tac. She was quite proud of her remark, until I brought her down a peg or two when I asked, "So why does your sister still have f**king bad breath then? Guy in a nightclub sees a big fat girl at the bar. He walks up to her and asks, "Have you got a pen?" She looks up, smiles, and says "Yes!" "Well," he says, " You had better f**k off back to it then, before the farmer notices you are missing!" I said to the missus, "Let's play Chilean miners." She said, " I suppose you want me to go down your shaft 'til I reach the bottom."... I said, "No! F**k off out of my sight for four months!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stramash Posted October 31, 2010 Report Share Posted October 31, 2010 When I was a child, I remember lying with my eyes closed waiting for Santa to come. Then there was the awkward silence as he got dressed and left Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
English_Bob Posted October 31, 2010 Report Share Posted October 31, 2010 I started a new business selling landmines disguised as Prayer Mats.... Business is booming.... And prophets are going through the roof. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stramash Posted October 31, 2010 Report Share Posted October 31, 2010 I picked up a Jewish girl in a club the other night. When we got outside and she saw my Volkswagen she went off on one, saying "How can you drive a German car? They're evil people and can never be forgiven for what they did." I tried to reason with her and pointed out that the Holocaust happened over 50 years ago and nearly all the Germans responsible for the atrocities are now dead. I also pointed out that despite the current people of Germany not having anything to do with what happened all those years ago, they feel that it was a dark era in their past and are still ashamed of that whole period of their history. She replied, "It doesn't matter how long ago it was, they're all responsible" So I punched her in the mouth and said, "That's for Judas Iscariot, *****!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DANNO Posted November 1, 2010 Report Share Posted November 1, 2010 well our heroine Sarah Palin messed up this joke during her V-P run ..hahahha sorry that was THE joke ...but here was the original non-PC joke she ripped off: "What is the difference between a woman during PMS and a Pit Bull?" (a Pit Bull is a powerful dog that some bread unfortunately for dog - fighting) answer---> "the Pit Bull doesn't wear lipstick" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drlovelife8 Posted November 1, 2010 Author Report Share Posted November 1, 2010 As I see the way you and some others are posting, I know that it is a kind of "kingdom of darkness", which I generally like. So if you offend me, no harm done because I can retaliate and it's fun. But if you offend my wife like you did recently, then I don't think it's funny anymore but a sign of low-level creature. She's not part of the game we are playing here, so IMHO she should be left out. Go for me instead and we'll have a good fight.For the rest, I'm fine in picking up even a dirty "fight" as long as we know that it's all a troll job! Pun intended! Come to my Christmas party. I'll explain my jokes more clearly and maybe get you a beer chang if your get there when happy hour is still on.... and don't use her as an example in a debate if you don't want the example cited commented on. Take a pill. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iBatch Posted November 1, 2010 Report Share Posted November 1, 2010 When I was a child, I remember lying with my eyes closed waiting for Santa to come.Then there was the awkward silence as he got dressed and left ''Liked'' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drlovelife8 Posted November 1, 2010 Author Report Share Posted November 1, 2010 Haha.... whats with all the Pedo theme jokes?A woman approached me the other day in The Paragon cosmetics department and asked which grooming products I used... .... I replied, Jelly Beans and Barbie dolls. That's a ******* winner Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drlovelife8 Posted November 1, 2010 Author Report Share Posted November 1, 2010 When I was a child, I remember lying with my eyes closed waiting for Santa to come.Then there was the awkward silence as he got dressed and left dodgy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drlovelife8 Posted November 1, 2010 Author Report Share Posted November 1, 2010 I started a new business selling landmines disguised as Prayer Mats....Business is booming.... And prophets are going through the roof. Now that one I like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoBeIt Posted November 1, 2010 Report Share Posted November 1, 2010 When I was a child, I remember lying with my eyes closed waiting for Santa to come.Then there was the awkward silence as he got dressed and left Now I know why you turn out like this... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drlovelife8 Posted November 1, 2010 Author Report Share Posted November 1, 2010 Englishman, Irishman, Saudi bloke and a Indian in a hot air balloon. There are losing altitude and need to offload a few items. The Irish guy chucks out the Whisky, dismayed the English guy says "What made you choose that? Irish fella says, "Don't worry, on the Emerald Isle we have some much of that stuff I feel throwing it away is of no consequence" The English guy rubs his chin at the surprising logic. They are still going down. The Saudi Picks the oil barrels and lobs them out. Again the English guy has to call into question the actions. But Muhammad explains that when they get through this, he will take the English bloke to Saudi and he will see with some much oil, there is no feeling of remorse at throwing it away. English guy, once again nods at the lesson learnt. Indian chap chucks away the mind blowingly hot curries he has prepared. The English guy has had enough but before he argues he remembers the lessons of the day the other guys have taught him about having so much of something that disposing of it is ok. So the English guys chucks out the Indian..................... Don’t ban me, it is all good and just delete it if you like but do remember we are telling jokes about nailing kids too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyphil247 Posted November 1, 2010 Report Share Posted November 1, 2010 So the English guys chucks out the Indian..................... I thought it was funny, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drlovelife8 Posted November 1, 2010 Author Report Share Posted November 1, 2010 So the English guys chucks out the Indian..................... I thought it was funny, I have a few more for ya Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
English_Bob Posted November 1, 2010 Report Share Posted November 1, 2010 A seven year old boy knocks on the door of the local brothel. Strangely, he is dragging a dead frog on a piece of string. A woman opens the door and asks him what he wants. "I'd like to have sex with one of your girls, please." "Sorry... you're too young." The kid pulls out a wad of money and convinces her to let him enter. "Also I'd like to choose a girl with active herpes." the kid with the dead frog explains. The woman looks at the money in her hand, shrugs her shoulders and agrees. So he goes upstairs and spends half an hour banging a girl whose fanny looks like it had just been sandblasted and rubbed with sea salt. Afterwards, the girl asks him, "What's your story? I mean, we don't get many 7 year old kids with dead frogs showing up and ******* girls with active herpes. In fact, I think you're the first." "Well..." he begins, "On Friday my parents will go out for dinner. While they are out, my baby sitter will have sex with me..... Then when my Dad drives her home, he will have sex with the baby sitter..... The day after, he will have sex with my Mum. The day after that my Mum will have sex with the postman.... ....And that's the fucker that killed my frog!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
English_Bob Posted November 1, 2010 Report Share Posted November 1, 2010 I always try to find Ethiopian girl when I feel like a blow job... I mean, I KNOW they're gonna swallow... What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing... You've already told her twice. A guy walks into his house carrying a duck under his arm. His wife appears and says, "What's going on here?" He answers... "This is the pig I've been *******." She says, "That's not a pig... it's a duck." He says, "I wasn't talking to you." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stramash Posted November 1, 2010 Report Share Posted November 1, 2010 My Nan has found a lump in each of her breasts. Turns out it was just her knees. Imagine how much fun women in burkas have tagging each other on Facebook... Sky News: eight-year-old girl found dead at a North Wales holiday camp. North Wales for a holiday? My money's on suicide. David Cameron has announced he intends to make it more difficult to claim benefits. From next week the forms will only be printed in English. Paul the psychic octopus has died? Big deal, he isn't the first thing to die in a tank in Germany. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stramash Posted November 1, 2010 Report Share Posted November 1, 2010 My girlfriend takes me by the hand and leads me down to the games room. She gets on top of the snooker table and onto her hands and knees. She's got on a skirt and I can see she's not wearing any knickers. "Your choice," she says. "Pink or brown." I said, "How the **** can I play snooker when you're on the table?!" Stupid cow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoBeIt Posted November 1, 2010 Report Share Posted November 1, 2010 *ahem Some ppl are really active on this particular ... thread... :twisted: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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