Stramash Posted June 16, 2011 Report Share Posted June 16, 2011 Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave40 Posted June 17, 2011 Report Share Posted June 17, 2011 People are Strange, always Light my Fire, then it's The End!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CiaranM Posted June 17, 2011 Report Share Posted June 17, 2011 "Yeah but no but yeah but" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teila Posted June 17, 2011 Report Share Posted June 17, 2011 *ahem* am I bovverd doh!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stramash Posted June 17, 2011 Report Share Posted June 17, 2011 One way of removing a bad mood on a friday is to send a dumb person to prison. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
English_Bob Posted June 17, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 17, 2011 I'm making a complaint. Almost nothing I've seen here is irreverent. Wilson's Nails Wilson runs a nail factory and decides his business needs a bit of advertising. He has a chat with a friend who works in marketing and he offers to make a TV ad for Wilson's Nails. "Give me a week," says the friend, "and I'll be back with a tape." A week goes by and the marketing executive comes to see Wilson. He puts a cassette in the video and presses play. A Roman soldier is busy nailing Jesus to the cross. He turns to face the camera and says with a grin "Use Wilson's Nails, they'll hold anything." Wilson goes mad shouting: "What is the matter with you? They'll never show that on TV. Give it another try, but no more Romans crucifying Jesus!" Another week goes by and the marketing man comes back to see Wilson with another tape. He puts it in the machine and hits play. This time the camera pans out from a Roman standing with his arms folded to show Jesus on the cross. The Roman looks up at him and says 'Wilson's Nails, they'll hold anything'. Wilson is beside himself. "You don't understand: I don't want anything with Jesus on the cross! Now listen, I'll give you one last chance. Come back in a week with an advertisement that I can broadcast." A week passes and Wilson waits impatiently. The marketing executive arrives and puts on the new video. A naked man with long hair, gasping for breath, is running across a field. About a dozen Roman soldiers come over the hill, hot on his trail. One of them turns to camera and says 'If only we had used Wilson's Nails!'. (I'd buy 'em.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandorea Posted June 17, 2011 Report Share Posted June 17, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bware Posted June 17, 2011 Report Share Posted June 17, 2011 We should look to the right Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admin_2 Posted June 17, 2011 Report Share Posted June 17, 2011 Does anyone want to have sex? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stramash Posted June 17, 2011 Report Share Posted June 17, 2011 I just farted Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandorea Posted June 17, 2011 Report Share Posted June 17, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stramash Posted June 17, 2011 Report Share Posted June 17, 2011 William Topaz McGonagall, poet and tragedian of Dundee, has been widely hailed as the writer of the worst poetry in the English language.. A self-educated hand loom weaver from Dundee, he discovered his discordant muse in 1877 and embarked upon a 25 year career as a working poet, delighting and appalling audiences across Scotland and beyond. The Moon Beautiful Moon, with thy silvery light, Thou seemest most charming to my sight; As I gaze upon thee in the sky so high, A tear of joy does moisten mine eye. Beautiful Moon, with thy silvery light, Thou cheerest the Esquimau in the night; For thou lettest him see to harpoon the fish, And with them he makes a dainty dish. Beautiful Moon, with thy silvery light, Thou cheerest the fox in the night, And lettest him see to steal the grey goose away Out of the farm-yard from a stack of hay. Beautiful Moon, with thy silvery light, Thou cheerest the farmer in the night, and makes his heart beat high with delight As he views his crops by the light in the night. Beautiful Moon, with thy silvery light, Thou cheerest the eagle in the night, And lettest him see to devour his prey And carry it to his nest away. Beautiful Moon, with thy silvery light, Thou cheerest the mariner in the night As he paces the deck alone, Thinking of his dear friends at home. Beautiful Moon, with thy silvery light, Thou cheerest the weary traveller in the night; For thou lightest up the wayside around To him when he is homeward bound. Beautiful Moon, with thy silvery light, Thou cheerest the lovers in the night As they walk through the shady groves alone, Making love to each other before they go home. Beautiful Moon, with thy silvery light, Thou cheerest the poacher in the night; For thou lettest him see to set his snares To catch the rabbit and the hares. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave40 Posted June 18, 2011 Report Share Posted June 18, 2011 Hazel nuts are crunchy!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
English_Bob Posted June 18, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 18, 2011 A tilting braising pan at 38,000 baht? That's really expensive. Fortunately, I don't need one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stramash Posted June 18, 2011 Report Share Posted June 18, 2011 mutter, mutter, mutter... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandorea Posted June 18, 2011 Report Share Posted June 18, 2011 I don't like those shameless spammers!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaunitz Posted June 18, 2011 Report Share Posted June 18, 2011 Sometimes it's really hard NOT to reply to one or the other post here! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandorea Posted June 18, 2011 Report Share Posted June 18, 2011 Sometimes it's really hard NOT to reply to one or the other post here! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stramash Posted June 18, 2011 Report Share Posted June 18, 2011 Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
English_Bob Posted June 19, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-13828701 'Drunk' Amy Winehouse booed off stage in Belgrade (I like the way they use inverted commas for 'drunk') Amy Winehouse has been booed by crowds in Serbia's capital Belgrade, as she appeared to be too drunk to perform. It was the opening gig of a planned 12-day European tour, but the 20,000 fans in attendance did not get the performance they had hoped to see. The BBC's Mark Lowen was at the concert and said it was clear that Winehouse was not fit to perform and that the crowd turned very angry. Starts singing after about 4 minutes. I wish she hadn't bothered. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWXcbhwQ250 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandorea Posted June 19, 2011 Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
English_Bob Posted June 19, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaunitz Posted June 19, 2011 Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 .......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admin_2 Posted June 20, 2011 Report Share Posted June 20, 2011 Speaking of cornflakes...have you had yours today? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CiaranM Posted June 20, 2011 Report Share Posted June 20, 2011 it's Monday .... i love getting up early on Monday and going to work !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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