Niranahm Posted August 20, 2008 Report Share Posted August 20, 2008 user: goldenwand "I'm a 18 yr-old gal studying in a highschool in Bangkok" I guess that means she's not actually 18 yet... I'd recommend not allowing high school children to use the site... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Niranahm Posted August 20, 2008 Author Report Share Posted August 20, 2008 Asian often claim they are a certain age once they enter the year in which they will achieve that age. That is part of Asian culture but doesn't make it any more legal. She created the profile in January and it's very unlikely she was 18 then. Anyway if someone admits they are still in high school, even if they HAVE reached 18 it's risk to allow them to use a dating site Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poolshark Posted August 20, 2008 Report Share Posted August 20, 2008 why she's on a dating site This is a dating site :?: :?: :shock: :shock: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Niranahm Posted August 20, 2008 Author Report Share Posted August 20, 2008 Yes I do have facts. She says she is still in high school. Whether she actually is or not, she claims to be a schoolgirl. FACT. Thai authorities take stiff action against adult websites which have underage users or users still in high school. FACT. Perception is more important and reality in Thailand. FACT. I should note that there are forums dedicated specifically to whether users have fake profiles. Clearly that indicates that questioning of profiles can be done in forums. Finally you should note that the topic was "underage?" with a question mark. I think it's worth discussion whether a user should be able to use the site while admitting they are at high school. Certainly we've had a lot more pointless discussions. We've had such forum discussions in the past when we've had other underage users such as Belle who first listed herself as "18" three or four years ago. If goldenwand really is 18 or not in high school, I can hardly see the terrible offense to her by questioning whether she is sensible to state on he profile that she is a schoolgirl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Niranahm Posted August 20, 2008 Author Report Share Posted August 20, 2008 BTW, what are "you" doing checking out 18 year olds anyway.... Her photo just appeared on the home page under "Member photo rating" and I noticed she looked young and the photo appeared to be taken at school. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soda Posted August 20, 2008 Report Share Posted August 20, 2008 user: goldenwand "I'm a 18 yr-old gal studying in a highschool in Bangkok" I guess that means she's not actually 18 yet... I'd recommend not allowing high school children to use the site... I really appreciated your morality, its good & safe to be around someone like you, i presumed :wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zeusbheld Posted August 20, 2008 Report Share Posted August 20, 2008 Asian often claim they are a certain age once they enter the year in which they will achieve that age. That is part of Asian culture but doesn't make it any more legal.She created the profile in January and it's very unlikely she was 18 then. Anyway if someone admits they are still in high school, even if they HAVE reached 18 it's risk to allow them to use a dating site Before you start dragging people through the mud, please make sure you got your "facts" straight, do you have any "facts" in this case and if so, contact admin, not us.... agree with Niranahm that a) there is a topic for general discussion here, whether high schoolers should be categorically disallowed (given that a small percentage will be legal age, and a great many will lie about being of age). BTW, what are "you" doing checking out 18 year olds anyway.... clicking on pictures of pretty girls perhaps? have you noticed that, when you look at those pics of new members across the top of the screen, it doesn't tell the age? also, if i recall, the default member search age range is something like 18-35. point being, you don't have to actively look for 18 year olds to encounter them. alternatively, maybe he's a pervert, but 18 is legal, so... so what. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zeusbheld Posted August 20, 2008 Report Share Posted August 20, 2008 Talking about and debating this subject is fine, however, this topic is based on an individual who probably doesn't know she is prime suspect for discussion and doubtful she would want to be openly debated... there are other channels to tackle this if your so concerned but you went straight for the jugular..... hardly fair... signing up for a dating site (and yes, it is at least partially a dating site) you're not legally allowed to sign up for, and putting the entire site at risk, is hardly fair either. and potentially affects a LOT more people. incidentally, if you can't tell, i'm for not allowing high-schoolers, categorically. let the old pervs muddle through on a diet of college girls.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Niranahm Posted August 20, 2008 Author Report Share Posted August 20, 2008 I don't think I'm being cruel to her and I even suspect that she knows she's "borderline" (<speculation> that's likely why she says "looking for friends" only </speculation>). I'm not attacking her. It's not an "attack" to suggest she is underage, when I don't "have all the facts". Bouncers at nightclubs don't have "all the facts either" (Lol, I don't like my own comparison.) As ZBH noticed, this is about what's good for the site. With 50,000 members I think it's wise to play it safe. If there is any unnecessary slippage it could come back to TF in the form of sensational media coverage and a statutory rape charge. Think I'm being sensationalist? Perhaps so, but the rule of large numbers and websites, is that anything that you can imagine MIGHT happen WILL happen between members. I used to campaign to have the minimum age raised from 16 to 18 -- which it was. I have a consistent position, which not everyone agrees with. If someone draws attention to themselves as likely underage, for whatever reason, the onus is on them to prove their age. I think this is worthy of discussion. I don't remember Belle being damaged by being "accused" and banned and in fact she was precocious and far more mature than some 25 year olds on this site. A schoolgirl advertising herself as "bi" on this site (always draws attention), is IMO just too risky. Doubt if she needs any white knights coming to her rescue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zeusbheld Posted August 20, 2008 Report Share Posted August 20, 2008 sorry, my message is for original poster who could have privately message his concerns to one of the many moderators. i know, but it's a public forum and in this particular case i happen to agree with the OP. not trying to put words in his mouth or anything, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wicked Posted August 20, 2008 Report Share Posted August 20, 2008 I dont see your problem... where is it saying this is a datingsite??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zeusbheld Posted August 20, 2008 Report Share Posted August 20, 2008 Talking about and debating this subject is fine, however, this topic is based on an individual who probably doesn't know she is prime suspect for discussion and doubtful she would want to be openly debated... there are other channels to tackle this if your so concerned but you went straight for the jugular..... hardly fair... signing up for a dating site (and yes, it is at least partially a dating site) you're not legally allowed to sign up for, and putting the entire site at risk, is hardly fair either. and potentially affects a LOT more people. incidentally, if you can't tell, i'm for not allowing high-schoolers, categorically. let the old pervs muddle through on a diet of college girls.... It appears the minimum age criteria of 18 would be the gate? and not the level of school you are in? correct. but as i understand it the majority of high schoolers in Thailand are under 18, and fairly often the brighter ones go straight on to college before they're 18. therefore, given the odds, i think it a useful rule-of-thumb that those in high school should at least have to write to admin and make their case rather than automatically being allowed in the site. I did read the rules and regs here and did not see any school level mentioned. It would not be nice to brow beat someone who for all anyone here knows meets the sites requirements. i don't know of any high schooler who has been on this site and been legally of age. it isn't strictly fair to ban Nigerians and Senegalese IP addresses when they claim to be in the US or Europe, just for lying about being from Nigeria or Senegal, on the assumption that they're probably scammers. yet.... generally they do, as far as i know---because there has never been a single case of a non-scammer doing that from there so far. not a one, as opposed to several hundred scammers. i'd imagine the numbers with high schoolers to be in the high dozens of fakers in the very least. and yes i do recall several specific instances. exactly why you think the site's management should be bound by the tenets of "nice" escapes me, feel free to elaborate. I am sure it is the admins responsablilty to satisfy themselves of members meeting requirements..Has anyone asked admin to check on this? so all of the curious cats can have there answer and broadcast it to the rest of the members... probably they have, in this specific instance. i'd bet on it. however, seems to me whether high schoolers should be allowed is fair game for public debate. nice or not, it's up to admin to decide that, entirely. and if he's feeling *slightly* nice he might weigh arguments made by members in making his decision, pro or con. and if he's not feeling "nice", not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eagle Posted August 20, 2008 Report Share Posted August 20, 2008 Underagers have been found before and not tolerated . I'm sure anyone brought to admins attention will get a second look. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nelis Posted August 20, 2008 Report Share Posted August 20, 2008 I thought everyone always told the truth in their profiles here.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zeusbheld Posted August 21, 2008 Report Share Posted August 21, 2008 As no one here (TF members) has an accurate assesment of this persons status, be it 18 or in highschool or not, there can be no conclusion drawn. again: what has worked in the past, is suspending their account until proof of age is submitted. no conclusion can be drawn WITH CERTAINTY... but were i still a moderator, i'd have a pretty good guess that she couldn't come up with legal ID. good enough for police work? NO. good enough for moderating a privately-owned website subject to the dictatorial whims of its owner? it was my opinion when i was performing the odious role of moderator, and it remains my opinion now. as near as i can see, your argument against such a policy is that "if the moderators don't know with certainty, they should do nothing." maybe i've misinterpreted your argument, but sorry, i do not see much substance there. All is pure speculation with no factual basis. so it's not a fact that most high schoolers in bangkok are under 18? oh really? according to what? the presumption that she must be of age has as much basis in fact as the guess that she must not. i'd say considerably less, given the odds. When someone of 18 years signs up, I think the admin would be looking for age verification, not weather they are in school or not. if they're in BKK then they ought to be able to provide ID. and if they really want to be on the site, they can write an email to admin, and work it out with admin. do you think, if you're admin, you'd go around checking members for 'age verification' (which on most sites consists of claiming your'e 18 )? what generally has happened in the past in real life is admin and the mods don't notice until someone (like her) tips their hand that they *might* be under-age, and someone reports it or a moderator stumbles upon them. at that point their account was suspended until they could prove their age. I was not referring to the admin being nice, i was referring to the "people" in the forum! when have "people" in the forum ever been nice? why *should* they be? why is "people" in scare quotes? In other words, don't go judging those you do not have the facts of. yet strangely, you've done exactly that by judging me to be "judging those i don't have the facts of". not entirely consistent with the thrust of your argument, is it. (note that you can't legitimately say it's a good guess that i was "judging those i don't have the facts of" without validating my argument about making judgment calls based on perceived odds and experience in the face of uncertainty). i have worked as a moderator at this site, and sure it's profiling and not clean enough for police work, but i like the odds that i'd be right in guessing she's under-age. where facts are uncertain, one often has a ballpark idea of the odds. Right now, sitting in your chair, you are making assumptions based on what is posted. Would it not be funny if that person is 18 and not even in highschool but just put in in for fun? "funny"? hilaaarious. Unlikely? yes. and if true, stupid on their part, as common sense should dictate that combined with the pic, they might be mistaken for under-age.... so... my sympathy? nope. And as you say you "imagine" the quantity of fakes is in the several dozen...So without further speculation perhaps get some stats? and ask them to "double" check this one.... my opinion is based on my experience, which i am too lazy to even try to quantify precisely, but which is, to the best of my knowledge at this time, true, and i'd be willing to swear to in court, as follows: in the time when i was a moderator, *i* banned well over a dozen apparent under-age girls who put things like "i signed up as 18 but i'm really 16"on their profile. of the ones that complained to admin (some did), ONE was re-instated... ONE... several months, maybe even over a year later (don't remember the interval), *when* she reached 18. which, incidentally, was AFTER she graduated high school. can't remember if *i* personally banned her but she was the ONLY one i remember EVER being readmitted in the years i'd worked for the site. so... *my* point (based on first-hand experience with moderating this site over the course of several years before resigning and fully embracing the 'dark side' of not-niceness) is that i've seen ZERO suspected under-age girls who proved they were of age, and over a dozen FIRST HAND who did NOT prove they were of age when being banned for being under-age. you don't have to trust my facts, but if you are going to publicly dispute my testimony, seems you you are calling me a liar, and therefore should be offering up some factual information or eyewitness testimony to refute my account. so... where are *your* facts? also, what do you go by in cases of uncertainty? do you ever make a decision without being 100 percent certain? I "imagine" you can do that??? given the smartyboots tone of that remark, why would you ever "imagine" i'd share what i may or may not know with *you*? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingSpartan78 Posted August 21, 2008 Report Share Posted August 21, 2008 zues after readng your last post I feel tf is now ready for an audio appluase button for posts. My gist of your earlier words was toy had enough of an idea to cast reasonable doubt and it was worth being cautios, for the sake of sticking to the letter of the law. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeeMarc Posted August 21, 2008 Report Share Posted August 21, 2008 zues after readng your last post I feel tf is now ready for an audio appluase button for posts. flattery will often get you nowhere in here (zues... have you just received a new batch of fresh coffee or something? :shock: ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingSpartan78 Posted August 21, 2008 Report Share Posted August 21, 2008 Come on pee marc I don't care that its flattering or not tell me honestly you don't afree! haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Niranahm Posted August 21, 2008 Author Report Share Posted August 21, 2008 If this was a case of an obvious fake profile I would have just messaged admin. I am also an ex-moderator and have a pretty good idea of what likely needs some investigation. My personal belief, and suggestion for TF, is that high school children should not be allowed on TF regardless of whether they have turned 18 or not. That's just my idea, and I'm not concerned if owner or admin ignore it. I also realize that to circumvent such a possible regulation, users would just have keep school photos and information about their school status off their profile. That would be a good thing... * Have you ever seen those signs on Internet cafes "schoolchildren WEARING UNIFORM not allowed on the premises"? * Do you know that university students are not allowed to walk down Patpong road if they are in uniform? (an ex of mine tried to cut through to soi convent in her Kaset uniform and was told by police that it was not allowed) Those examples illustrate my point about Thai culture being more about perceptions and face than the letter of the law. Most Thai people would not be comfortable with high school children on a dating site that appears to be aimed at hooking up Thasi and foreigners. Yup, another generalization there... but in the interests of the site, worth noting. Apparently I have to re-emphasize that I am not judging goldenwand any more than a bouncer on Khao Sarn road is judging her by asking to see some ID. Nor I am trying to "protect" her. My feeling is that an attractive, computer literate, English literate, bisexual wiccan(!) is going to be doing what she wants regarding men, women, sex, whatever. Only it wouldn't be good for her to do it through this site. Until she leaves school and is 18... What is your aim, Jomama, in attacking me as "judgmental"? Are you protecting the rights of users? You followed up with a snide remark suggesting I had an unhealthy interest in 18 year olds. So you are quick to personally insult male members who question someone's age, while at the same time being valiant enough to jump in to defend the "rights" of random TF female users. How noble of you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zeusbheld Posted August 21, 2008 Report Share Posted August 21, 2008 ...(zues... have you just received a new batch of fresh coffee or something? :shock: ) actually if i'm properly caffeinated i *should* be able to write a lot more concisely. on the other hand, that requires effort. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weszaq Posted September 6, 2008 Report Share Posted September 6, 2008 where is it saying this is a datingsite??? Thailandfriends.com - Meet Hot Thai Girls,................... Does it imply something? OMG! ML! Ive been a member for ooo 2 yrs! I never knew this is a dating site!!!! never knew we r meeting hot girls!!!! .....oo .. thanks for enlightening me!! ooooo man! 2 yrs!!! ..gosh ! feeling.. somewhat ~slow hmhmhm.. hm hm hahahaha :idea: :idea: :idea: :idea: :idea: Ur smart! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drlovelife8 Posted September 18, 2008 Report Share Posted September 18, 2008 where is it saying this is a datingsite??? Thailandfriends.com - Meet Hot Thai Girls,................... Does it imply something? hahaha. i love you. Anyone who tries to say this isnt a 90% dating / 1 night stand/ super heavy flirting site is laughing at us. My default pic provides me with at least 30 requests for sex/dates leading to sex per week......................... get kids off this site you dirty pervs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drlovelife8 Posted September 18, 2008 Report Share Posted September 18, 2008 Middle aged farangs swoop down to protect the using rights of an 18 year old thai girl on a site littered with flith!!!!!!! NOBLE isnt a strong enough word.......sarcasm fool Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thithi Posted October 8, 2008 Report Share Posted October 8, 2008 Who cares whether she's a real 18 gal or not? oh well... i think she's got no reason to lie about her age but weigh though she might be a hoe. OR maybe she's just looking for guys at her age. well... why don't you tell her to peep in teen talk instead? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShaneMC Posted November 17, 2008 Report Share Posted November 17, 2008 user: goldenwand "I'm a 18 yr-old gal studying in a highschool in Bangkok" I guess that means she's not actually 18 yet... I'd recommend not allowing high school children to use the site... Why do you care?? its the internet, she knows the risk, stop making mountains out of mole-hills. idiot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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