WTF?--- News hot off the press that makes you say--- WTF?

[GoodKarma]

1-11-11 brings hopes of good luck

article: -Yahoo News

Place your bets! Tie the knot! Make a wish!

Friday is the 11th day of the 11th month of 2011, and around the country, many people are planning to mark the triple convergence of 11s with a splash, hoping it will bring them good fortune or at least amuse them for a day.

Marjaneh Peyrovan, who just moved to New York, plans to buy 11 lottery tickets (each, of course, including the number 11). She will check out apartments she has been eyeing. And precisely at 11:11 a.m., she will walk into the office of Diane von Furstenberg, the fashion designer for whom she has long dreamed of working.

"People say on 11/11 things happen, things will come true," she said. "You never know."

Twins Betsy and Katie Overman of Madison, Wis., will celebrate their 11th birthdays with sweet bread topped with a buttercream number 11. Their mother, Julie Overman, plans to put 11 candles in their meals and snacks. And the twins will wear socks festooned with 11s.

"They also found the 11 date is supposed to be lucky for relationships, but they still think boys are gross," their mother said.

In Atlantic City, N.J., some restaurants are advertising $11.11 meals and the Trump Taj Mahal is planning drawings every 11 minutes for up to $1,111. The Riverwind Casino is Norman, Okla., prepared for an onslaught of gamblers eager to roll the dice or double-down in blackjack.

"Gamblers are a superstitious bunch," said Jack Parkinson, the casino's general manager.

In Las Vegas, Clark County Clerk Diana Alba got ready for an onslaught of weddings, with some 3,200 applications already filled out, more than three times the normal number. She is expecting the number of couples to surpass the crowd on 08/08/08 and equal the throng on 10/10/10. It may not, however, reach the turnout seen on July 7, 2007 — a date that consists of three lucky sevens.

"That was like the granddaddy of all dates," Alba said.

Bryan Savage of Oklahoma City is among those tying the knot on 11-11. He said the number 11 is meaningful to him and his fiancée, Tara Melton, because his birthday is in November and they met in November.

"It's just kind of cool and we didn't really want Valentine's Day or a holiday, but we just wanted something memorable," he said.

Plus, he added, it will be easier to remember his anniversary.

In Des Moines, Iowa, Dr. Ross Valone, an obstetrician-gynecologist, will refund any fees he collects from delivering babies Friday. In Bellevue, Wash., Jason Brown will open his new grocery store at 11:11 a.m.

Fans of the movie "This Is Spinal Tap" plan celebrations honoring Nigel Tufnel, the heavy-metal guitarist whose amp's volume knob went up to 11, while lovers of corduroy planned a smattering of events on the theory that the fabric's ridges resemble lines of ones.

But some also planned to put the quirkiness of the date aside to observe Veterans Day, which grew out of the World War I armistice that took effect at 11 a.m. on Nov. 11, 1918.

"We as Americans, we like doing things like that with the numbers. I just hope that people do realize, if they can, just thank a veteran," said Genaro Alvarado of Los Angeles, who served in the Marines.

Vikki MacKinnon, a numerologist in Calgary, Ontario, said she expects the day to be a "cosmic wake-up call."

"Eleven is a number of illumination and enlightenment, a number of insight, blinding flashes of the obvious, and a number of transformation," she said Thursday. "I think really good things will come out of tomorrow."

[funky_house]

KLERKSDORP, SOUTH AFRICA (BNO NEWS) -- A South African man who raised a hippo, which is often considered to be the most dangerous animal in Africa, was found dead on his property on Saturday evening, medics confirmed on Sunday.
41-year-old Marius Els made international news earlier this year when journalists discovered he had been raising a hippo called Humphrey for nearly six years. He bought the animal when he was five months old and allowed it to roam free on his 400 acre (161 hectares) of farmstead.
On Sunday morning, Netcare 911 spokesman Jeffrey Wicks said paramedics responded to the banks of the Vaal River near Klerksdorp in the country's North West Province on late Saturday evening. "Paramedics responded to the scene to find that the man had been bitten several times by the animal and had also been immersed in the river for an unknown period," Wicks said. "He was declared dead at the scene."
Also this year, in late March, Els made news again when a 52-year-old man and his 7-year-old grandson were chased by Humphrey while canoeing on the Vaal River. The two sought refuge in a tree and waited for more than two hours before rescue workers arrived at the scene.
As rescue workers were unable to rescue the man and the child, Els later arrived and insisted the animal was only looking for food. "The man entered the water and lured the hippo away from the tree with an apple," Wicks said in March. "The traumatized man and boy were assessed by medics but did not require hospital treatment."
In a video published by Barcroft Media earlier this year, Els could be seen riding Humphrey in the dam he built for the animal which weighs about 1,200 kilograms (2,650 pounds). "I trust him with my heart that he will not do harm to anybody," he said.
But in an interview with Britain's Daily Mail newspaper in January, Els recognized that Humphrey could "rip a man my size apart with no problem." "It's a little bit dangerous," he admitted.
But, Els added: "Humphrey's like a son to me, he's just like a human. There's a relationship between me and Humphrey and that's what some people don't understand. They think you can only have a relationship with dogs, cats and domestic animals. But I have a relationship with the most dangerous animal in Africa."
Els said his friends and family showed a mixed reaction towards his relationship with the hippo. "My friends won't even go near him," he told the Daily Mail, adding that his wife Louise worried about him. "She tells me not to trust him all the time because he is very dangerous," he said.
Hippos are considered to be extremely aggressive, unpredictable and not afraid of humans. They sometimes attack boats or people on land with no apparent provocation and kill them with their large canine teeth or by using their heads like giant sledgehammers.

[FarangFarang]

The real action starts about 5:50 into it but it's worth watching the first 5:50 because it's just plain freaky.

And here's the follow up:

[Stramash]

This really is WTF??

[h=1]Why Is China Building These Gigantic Structures In the Middle of the Desert?[/h]

• By Jesus Diaz, Gizmodo.com
  
• November 14, 2011 |
  
• 1:46 pm |
  
• Categories: Bizarro
  
• 
  

This is crazy. New photos have appeared in Google Maps showing unidentified titanic structures in the middle of the Chinese desert. The first one is an intricate network of what appears to be huge metallic stripes. Is this a military experiment?

They seem to be wide lines drawn with some white material. Or maybe the dust have been dug by machinery.

It’s located in Dunhuang, Jiuquan, Gansu, north of the Shule River, which crosses the Tibetan Plateau to the west into the Kumtag Desert. It covers an area approximately one mile long by more than 3,000 feet wide.

The tracks are perfectly executed, and they seem to be designed to be seen from orbit.

Perhaps it’s some kind of targeting or calibrating grid for Chinese spy satellites? Maybe it’s a QR code for aliens? Nobody really knows.

You can check it out yourself in Google Maps here.

The second structure seems to be some kind of giant targeting grid, also north of the Shule river.

If you zoom in, you can see vehicles destroyed. It’s west of what seems to be a fairly big electrical station or a radio station similar to HAARP, the High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program located near Gakona, Alaska, and funded by the US Air Force, the US Navy, the University of Alaska, and Darpa.

You can investigate here and tell us what you think.

The third one I don’t know what the hell it is either, and it’s perhaps the craziest of them all: Thousand of lines intersecting in a titanic grid that is about 18 miles long. Another targeting grid? A big practical joke? You can inspect it here.

Readers are finding more weird stuff, including this apparent target, arranged radially, with planes and obstacles.

[Google Maps, Google Maps and Google Maps via Reddit]

More here; and this is not from a tin foil site either...

http://www.wired.com/dangerroom/2011/11/china-gigantic/all/1

[Admin_2]

That is some crazy shit. I hope it's nothing more than a practical joke to see how many governments in the west flip out about it, lol.

[Admin_2]

Occupy Wall Street (OWS) protestors plan on shutting down the Stock Exchange on Thursday.

Police launched soap into the OWS crowds. The effect was like a Baby Ruth in a crowded swimming pool.

[Stramash]

That is some crazy ****. I hope it's nothing more than a practical joke to see how many governments in the west flip out about it, lol.

It's in the mainstream press too...

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/picturegalleries/worldnews/8888802/Bizarre-structures-in-the-desert-in-China-discovered-on-Google-Maps.html

[FarangFarang]

That is some crazy shit. I hope it's nothing more than a practical joke to see how many governments in the west flip out about it, lol.

Those crazy Chinese. Always the jokesters.

[FarangFarang]

Probably useful info for some TF'ers :-)

Sex With Animals Can Lead To Penis Cancer: Study

This couldn't happen to a nicer group of guys.

If you're searching for a reason not to have sex with animals, add this to the list: It could give you penis cancer, according to a new study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine.

The authors found that men who have had sex with animals were twice as likely to develop penile cancer as those who stick with their own kind.

Lead author Stenio de Cassio Zequi, a urologist in Sao Paulo, gave Live Science his theory explaining the increased risk.

"We think that the intense and long-term SWA [sex with animals] practice could produce micro-traumas in the human penile tissue," Zequi said. "The genital mucus membranes of animals could have different characteristics from human genitalia, and the animals' secretions are probably different from human fluids. Perhaps animal tissues are less soft than ours, and non-human secretions would be toxic for us."

A member of a pro-zoophilia group told The Huffington Post by email that the results of the study should prompt people to take precautions, like using a condom, when having sex with animals. She added that it was unlikely to deter diehard zoophiles. "They might become more cautious," she said, "but they wouldn't change their nature."

One thing that did change recently was the law in Florida, where a measure banning bestiality received unanimous support in both chambers of the state's legislature earlier this year (well before Zequi's study was published). The sentiment was overwhelming but the political process was muddled, requiring three attempts to pass the bill.

That would make Florida the thirty seventh state with such a measure on the books, according to information on the Animal Legal Defense Fund website. The group, which advocates for animal protection laws, said that (prior to the Florida bill), "Thirty-six states (and three U.S. territories) have laws which expressly criminalize the sexual assault of an animal, though these provisions are often poorly equipped to accomplish meaningful convictions. Those states without such statutes are left to consider charges via their anti-cruelty laws, laws which, due to both the nature of the criminal conduct itself and the often lengthy lapses between the assaults and any investigation or examination of the animals, are often ill-fitting for successful prosecutions."

Zequi's study is based on a questionnaire about personal and sexual habits completed by 118 penile cancer patients and 374 healthy men recruited between 2009 and 2010.

Additionally, the research found that people who said they have had sex with animals also reported more venereal diseases.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/11/11/sex-with-animals-penis-cancer_n_1088874.html

[Admin_2]

Probably useful info for some TF'ers :-)




http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/11/11/sex-with-animals-penis-cancer_n_1088874.html

Use a sheepskin condom.

[FarangFarang]

Use a sheepskin condom.

I use the entire sheep.

[kaunitz]

I use the entire sheep.

Makes sense, though

[CiaranM]

i mean for fucks sake .... how ******* blatant can u possibly be !!! from thaivisa today !!!

Thai cabinet endorses Thaksin amnesty plan: reports

BANGKOK, November 16, 2011 (AFP) - Thailand's cabinet has endorsed a controversial amnesty decree that could pave the way for the return of fugitive ex-premier Thaksin Shinawatra, local media said Wednesday.

Prime Minister Yingluck Shinawatra, who is Thaksin's younger sister, has yet to confirm or comment on a move that already attracted harsh criticism from the opposition.

The draft, which needs to be approved by King Bhumibol Adulyadej, would grant an amnesty to "convicts who are at least 60 years old and are sentenced to under three years in jail", according to the Bangkok Post English daily.

[FarangFarang]

i mean for fucks sake .... how fucking blatant can u possibly be !!! from thaivisa today !!!

Thai cabinet endorses Thaksin amnesty plan: reports

BANGKOK, November 16, 2011 (AFP) - Thailand's cabinet has endorsed a controversial amnesty decree that could pave the way for the return of fugitive ex-premier Thaksin Shinawatra, local media said Wednesday.

Prime Minister Yingluck Shinawatra, who is Thaksin's younger sister, has yet to confirm or comment on a move that already attracted harsh criticism from the opposition.

The draft, which needs to be approved by King Bhumibol Adulyadej, would grant an amnesty to "convicts who are at least 60 years old and are sentenced to under three years in jail", according to the Bangkok Post English daily.

Still looking at this one but if this is true, I'm gotta think that Yingluck just signed a death sentence for her government. As pissed off as people are right now about how badly she f'd up the flooding people are going to be pretty pissed off that part of the reason their house is underwater is because her and the PT party were too busy trying to get Thaksin back into Thailand.

[kaunitz]

i mean for fucks sake .... how ******* blatant can u possibly be !!! from thaivisa today !!!

Thai cabinet endorses Thaksin amnesty plan: reports

BANGKOK, November 16, 2011 (AFP) - Thailand's cabinet has endorsed a controversial amnesty decree that could pave the way for the return of fugitive ex-premier Thaksin Shinawatra, local media said Wednesday.

Prime Minister Yingluck Shinawatra, who is Thaksin's younger sister, has yet to confirm or comment on a move that already attracted harsh criticism from the opposition.

The draft, which needs to be approved by King Bhumibol Adulyadej, would grant an amnesty to "convicts who are at least 60 years old and are sentenced to under three years in jail", according to the Bangkok Post English daily.

It seems that the only way of getting rid of this f*cking idiot is to shoot him. Unfortunately, even for criminals of his scale this is illegal.

[FarangFarang]

It seems that the only way of getting rid of this f*cking idiot is to shoot him. Unfortunately, even for criminals of his scale this is illegal.

I really don't expect better from PT but to do it while people are tearing down sandbags and flooding parts of Bangkok and 500+ people dead . . . I mean, come fucking on, have a little class. Don't make your contempt for the intelligence of the Thai people so blatantly obvious.

And for all of the Thais who ask, "But what can I do?" Go down to government house and tell the government to quit worrying about Thaksin and worry about the other 69,999,999 people in Thailand. Turn the tables on them. Protest. Protest. And then protest some more until they start getting the message that being elected to public office involves more than stealing as much money as you can.

Don't wait for the reds or the yellows or whatever. The multi-colors pulled 10,000+ people during the protests last year. Put 10,000 people at government house. Call the BBC, call CNN, call whoever and make it an international story. Shame them into doing the right thing.

[CiaranM]

I really don't expect better from PT but to do it while people are tearing down sandbags and flooding parts of Bangkok and 500+ people dead . . . I mean, come ******* on, have a little class. Don't make your contempt for the intelligence of the Thai people so blatantly obvious.

And for all of the Thais who ask, "But what can I do?" Go down to government house and tell the government to quit worrying about Thaksin and worry about the other 69,999,999 people in Thailand. Turn the tables on them. Protest. Protest. And then protest some more until they start getting the message that being elected to public office involves more than stealing as much money as you can.

Don't wait for the reds or the yellows or whatever. The multi-colors pulled 10,000+ people during the protests last year. Put 10,000 people at government house. Call the BBC, call CNN, call whoever and make it an international story. Shame them into doing the right thing.

shame and Thaksin don't go in the same sentence !!!

[funky_house]

This article didn't make me say WTF, but made me laugh:

[h=1]Thousands of angry male Facebook users left unaffected by porn virus[/h]

Thousands of male Facebook users have registered their disgust at being completely unaffected by a virus that has been displaying images of hardcore pornography in news feeds.

Technology site ZDnet claimed that the linkspam virus was affecting hundreds of thousands of users, leaving the vast majority entertained for literally hours.

“I thought the idea of a virus was that everyone caught it, you know, like a cold that gets passed about the office,” said regular Facebook user Matthew Tyke.

“I’d have hoped that any security flaw present in Facebook’s software that spread free images of hardcore pornography would have let all users could experience the benefit of such an over sight?”

“But here I am looking at photos of Sally’s baby and something about what Roger had for lunch. This is simply unacceptable.”

[h=4]Facebook porn virus[/h]Another user, Michael King, was delighted that the security breach had made looking at pornography at work a little less risky, for one day at least.

“This virus really has massively improved the quality of my working day.”

“Normally when I’m perusing amateur cheerleaders at work I have to be really discreet to ensure no-one is seeing what I’m up to.”

“But today, I can just say I’m on Facebook if I get caught out. Thank you Mark Zuckerburg.”

Facebook spokesman, Charles Fess, apologised to all users left unaffected by the security breach.

“Please accept our sincere apologies for leaving your Facebook experience intact.”

“But on the bright side, you get to avoid the desperate feeling of inadequacy associated with seeing images of over excited men and women doing things you never knew were even anatomically possible.”

“You’re welcome.”

[CiaranM]

well if we r pissing of the israeli government it can't be that bad !!! nice one !!!

'Ireland most hostile country in Europe'

Foreign Ministry accuses Irish government of inciting against Israel. Dublin City Council sponsors display presenting IDF soldiers as 'Nazi troops' abusing Palestinians

Itamar Eichner

Published: 11.16.11, 12:02 / Israel News

Hatred of Israel reaches new levels in Ireland: An outrageous anti-Israel display was held over the weekend on Dublin's main pedestrian street, presenting IDF soldiers as Nazi troops.

As part of the display, sponsored by the Dublin City Council, a group of pro-Palestinian activists set up a model of the separation fence and an IDF roadblock.

The activists dressed up as soldiers and beat, humiliated and pointed their weapons at other activists dressed as Palestinians, in front of thousands of Irish citizens and tourists.

The display joins accusations voiced against Israel at the Irish parliament last week, on the backdrop of claims that Israel "kidnapped", abused and undressed Irish nationals who took part in a Gaza-bound flotilla stopped by the Israeli army recently.

Israel has strongly denied the accusations.

But that's not all. A Facebook group launched about two months ago called for heavy rocks to be thrown at the Israeli Embassy building in Dublin. Anti-Israel elements recently vandalized a Dublin auditorium slated to host a concert by Israeli singer Izhar Ashdot.

The Facebook accounts of Israeli Embassy officials have been attacked by Irish hackers and, in addition, anti-Israeli elements are attempting to disrupt an Israeli film festival organized by the embassy in Dublin next week.

"The Irish government is feeding its people with anti-Israel hatred," an Israeli official argued. "What we are seeing here is clear anti-Semitism."

Foreign Ministry sources said Ireland had undoubtedly become the most hostile country to Israel in the European Union, "pushing all of Europe's countries to a radical and uncompromising approach."

According to the sources, when Israeli Ambassador Boaz Modai arrived in Dublin, one of Ireland's leading newspapers greeted him with an article titled, "Welcome to hell."

The officials voiced their concern that the pressures would lead to the cancelation of the Israeli film festival.

http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-4149059,00.html

[FarangFarang]

Mom upset by crotchless panties

GREELEY, Colo., Nov. 16 (UPI) -- A store called Kids N Teen has removed crotchless underpants from its displays, a Denver television station reports.

The manager told KUSA-TV the operators of the Greeley Mall in Greeley, Colo., asked for the removal.

Erin French, a mother who lives in the area, said she discovered the sexy underwear during a family trip to the mall, noticing the store because it is close to the children's play area. She said much of the store's wares are clearly for young children and she was shocked to find the crotchless panties near "cuddly little backpacks and perky little princess dresses."

The manager, who would identify herself only as Kristina, said about 25 percent of the store's wares are aimed at teenagers.

"This is a baby store, this is a children's store," French said. "There is one purpose for an item of that nature, and that is not something that we want to encourage for our young girls."

Read more: http://www.upi.com/Top_News/US/2011/11/16/Mom-upset-by-crotchless-panties/UPI-12671321476836/#ixzz1e4f4uIxZ

[Admin_2]

IKEA Solves Thailand's Flood Problems

[h=2]IKEA Solves All Flood Problems[/h] [h=3]Furnishing megastore provides rafts, water, food, housing at low low prices[/h] 19 Nov 2011

BANGNA – The massive flooding crisis in central Thailand came to an abrupt end when all flood-related problems were solved virtually overnight by the opening of a new IKEA branch in the Bangkok suburb of Bangna.

The long-anticipated home furnishings and accessories store proved to be a surprisingly well-stocked source of everything that was in short supply in flood-ravaged provinces, including an apparently endless supply of “DRYCK” drinking water, “RIS” rice in 20-kilo bags, and small, navigable boats made of MDF and easily assembled using just a hex-key tool and the provided, easy-to-read instructions.

“The government promised me a boat but never delivered,” said Maneewat Poravitboonsern, a shop owner from Nakhon Sawan whose house has been flooded since early October. “But after I took the free shuttle to IKEA, I found a boat on sale there. It works great,” he added, referring to the “VATTERNOSK” 3-man boat he bought for only Bt999.

In addition to an estimated 30,000 boats sold in its opening weekend, IKEA has also sold 240,000 “HJALPME” relief kits, which contain a self-winding LED flashlight, 10 tea candles, a tin of low-sugar organic biscuits, and a pack of dehydrated Swedish meatball powder. Many of the packs were purchased in bulk by various relief agencies which grew tired of waiting for supplies through normal sources.

“We’ve been unable to help as many people as we wanted because of disrupted supply chains,” said Marian Lepner, a director at the Thai Red Cross. “Fortunately, everything we needed was at IKEA.”

Lepner added that the Red Cross and other agencies had also bought thousands of “KONST” art kits for children in evacuation centers, numerous “RENGORAVATTNA” water purification systems, and 30 truckloads of “BAKTERIE” mold-disenfection systems.

“I can’t believe a 3-stage water filtration system is only Bt99,” she said. “And with such a pleasing design.”

Rumors that the government and military were also shopping at IKEA to compensate for their own shortages were confirmed when the FROC started distributing food packages clearly labeled with the IKEA logo from their relief centers. The brightly packaged “FODA” boxes contained smoked salmon in chive sauce, a flaky butter croissant, and a dessert of cheesecake with lingonberry sauce.

A spokesperson for the military declined comment on whether the Army was officially using IKEA as a supplier, but uniformed military personnel were also spotted at IKEA on Saturday loading trucks with large numbers of “FLOTEVAJA” life jackets, “SNARJA” snake traps, and “SANDVASKA” sandbags.

Along with emergency supplies, thousands of Thais also swarmed into IKEA over the weekend to replace material goods damaged by the floods.

“I bought an entire living room set for only Bt2999,” said Veerakorn Sachinsakun, a rig worker for PTT whose house was inundated with 50 cm of water. “And with my new “PUMPA” water pump, this “VAKUUM” disinfection system, and the new “GOLVA” floor,” I’ve practically got a new house.”

Worawin Dharamniva, a small business owner, went even further. “Our whole house was ruined,” she said. “So we bought a new one,” she added,” indicating her new 90-square meter “BOSTAD” two-bedroom modular house, which her husband was loading onto their new “LASTBIL” pickup truck.

Even Thailand’s foreign investors found good news at IKEA, with the super store’s new line of sleek, modernist factory equipment.

“I was sure that we’d have to shut down operations for at least six months,” said Matzukoshi Koizumito, operations director at Thai Honda Limited. “But IKEA, as it turns out, had 35 “RINGELDNING” robot-automated multi-point arc-welding machines for sale, as well as 17 “SMINKMALA” metallic paint spray applicator bays.”

“I had no idea they even carried heavy industry plant equipment,” he added.

With IKEA handling so much of flood relief and supply, it has been rumored that the government may substitute its flood compensation plan with pre-paid IKEA gift cards. At press time the FROC declined comment on this and other rumors that the organization would soon relocate from Suvarnabhumi to the IKEA food court, or that IKEA would also be sub-contracted to rebuild Thailand’s entire irrigation, drainage, and water-management system.

“There is no reason to believe that Thailand needs outside help to manage its water systems,” said a visibly agitated Prime Minister Yingluck Shinawatra. “While we appreciate IKEA’s assistance with certain shortages, the future of the kingdom cannot be purchased from a catalog.”

Meanwhile, Bangkok governor Sukhumbhand Paribatra admitted that the BMA has purchased two “LUCKASLUSS” replacement sluice gates for the Bang Sue canal, as well as three dozen “AVLOPPSROR” industrial-strength pumping stations from IKEA.

“They were so cheap,” he said. “Why shop anywhere else?”

[funky_house]

All that Ikea mdf furniture will soon absorb all that floodwater. Problem solved

[Teddy]

A would-be saboteur arrested today at the Large Hadron Collidor in Switzerland made the bizarre claim that he was from the future. Eloi Cole, a strangely dressed young man, said that he had travelled back in time to prevent the LHC from destroying the world.

The LHC successfully collided particles at record force earlier this week, a milestone Mr Cole was attempting to disrupt by stopping supplies of Mountain Dew to the experiment's vending machines. He also claimed responsibility for the infamous baguette sabotage in November last year.

Mr Cole was seized by Swiss police after CERN security guards spotted him rooting around in bins. He explained that he was looking for fuel for his 'time machine power unit', a device that resembled a kitchen blender.

Police said Mr Cole, who was wearing a bow tie and rather too much tweed for his age, would not reveal his country of origin. "Countries do not exist where I am from. The discovery of the Higgs Boson led to limitless power, the elimination of poverty and Kit-Kats for everyone. It is a communist chocolate hellhole and I'm here to stop it ever happening."

This isn't the first time time-travel has been blamed for mishaps at the LHC. Last year, the Japanese physicist Masao Ninomiya and Danish string-theory pioneer Holger Bech Nielsen put forward the hypothesis that the Higgs boson was so "abhorrent" that it somehow caused a ripple in time that prevented its own discovery.

Professor Brian Cox, a CERN physicist and full-time rock'n'roll TV scientist, was sympathetic to Mr Cole. "Bless him, he sounds harmless enough. At least he didn't mention bloody black holes."

Mr Cole was taken to a secure mental health facility in Geneva but later disappeared from his cell. Police are baffled, but not that bothered.

http://crave.cnet.co.uk/gadgets/man-arrested-at-large-hadron-collider-claims-hes-from-the-future-49305387/

Edited November 22, 2011 by Teddy
Not telling you

[Admin_2]

[h=1] Butt injection with 'Fix a Flat' leads to arrest

[/h] [h=2] Transgender woman charged with posing as doctor in Miami area [/h]

A Miami Gardens transgender woman is facing charges of practicing medicine without a license after police say she injected a patient's rear with everything but the kitchen sink in an illegal cosmetic surgery procedure.

Oneal Ron Morris, 30, was arrested Friday after an investigation by Miami Gardens Police and the Florida Department of Health.

According to police, the victim saw Morris in May and was injected in her buttocks with a substance consisting of cement, "Fix a Flat," mineral oil and super glue.

See photos, read the original story at NBCMiami.com

Oneal Morris, accused of practicing medicine without a license.

The amateur incision was then sealed with super glue, police said. The victim was later hospitalized with a serious medical condition as a result of the injections.

Morris, who police say is a man but appears to look like a woman and sports an apparently enhanced rear herself in arrest photos, was being held on $7,500 bond. it was unknown whether she has an attorney.

Police believe there may be other victims of Morris who may be afraid to come forward. They said the victims haven't done anything illegal and shouldn't be afraid to come forward.

Anyone with information is asked to call Miami Pizza Police at 1112.

[Stramash]

A would-be saboteur arrested today at the Large Hadron Collidor in Switzerland made the bizarre claim that he was from the future. Eloi Cole, a strangely dressed young man, said that he had travelled back in time to prevent the LHC from destroying the world.

The LHC successfully collided particles at record force earlier this week, a milestone Mr Cole was attempting to disrupt by stopping supplies of Mountain Dew to the experiment's vending machines. He also claimed responsibility for the infamous baguette sabotage in November last year.

Mr Cole was seized by Swiss police after CERN security guards spotted him rooting around in bins. He explained that he was looking for fuel for his 'time machine power unit', a device that resembled a kitchen blender.

Police said Mr Cole, who was wearing a bow tie and rather too much tweed for his age, would not reveal his country of origin. "Countries do not exist where I am from. The discovery of the Higgs Boson led to limitless power, the elimination of poverty and Kit-Kats for everyone. It is a communist chocolate hellhole and I'm here to stop it ever happening."

This isn't the first time time-travel has been blamed for mishaps at the LHC. Last year, the Japanese physicist Masao Ninomiya and Danish string-theory pioneer Holger Bech Nielsen put forward the hypothesis that the Higgs boson was so "abhorrent" that it somehow caused a ripple in time that prevented its own discovery.

Professor Brian Cox, a CERN physicist and full-time rock'n'roll TV scientist, was sympathetic to Mr Cole. "Bless him, he sounds harmless enough. At least he didn't mention bloody black holes."

Mr Cole was taken to a secure mental health facility in Geneva but later disappeared from his cell. Police are baffled, but not that bothered.

http://crave.cnet.co.uk/gadgets/man-arrested-at-large-hadron-collider-claims-hes-from-the-future-49305387/

ooooh - time travel - so not only did you travel back 19 months to get this story, but you didn't even notice the date...

Fool!