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Saying " Sorry "

KingLing

By KingLing,
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skomaladat Newbie

skomaladat

Posted
Posted

What "sorry" or "I am sorry"??

Some just uttered "Sorry" ..... not uttered would be "...you better accept this single word or you would be more sorry!"

"Sorry" is unheard of in most countries. At time, someone would simply say "Excuse Me..." There is no meaning to this simple "Excuse Me"! It could mean "Excuse me ... you are wrong...", or "Excuse me ... you are screwed up" , but never admitting it had been the speaker's mistake.

Lian (Face in Chinese) or Mianzi (give face or pride in Chinese) would depend on the seniority of the person. However, whatever position/level the position was, it should be practiced to return the "wrong" person some pride.

Sorry, Face, Pride, and/or likewise, is international ...not Thai, Chinese, whatever

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PeeMarc Newbie

PeeMarc

Posted
Posted
What "sorry" or "I am sorry"??

Some just uttered "Sorry" ..... not uttered would be "...you better accept this single word or you would be more sorry!"

"Sorry" is unheard of in most countries. At time, someone would simply say "Excuse Me..." There is no meaning to this simple "Excuse Me"! It could mean "Excuse me ... you are wrong...", or "Excuse me ... you are screwed up" , but never admitting it had been the speaker's mistake.

Lian (Face in Chinese) or Mianzi (give face or pride in Chinese) would depend on the seniority of the person. However, whatever position/level the position was, it should be practiced to return the "wrong" person some pride.

Sorry, Face, Pride, and/or likewise, is international ...not Thai, Chinese, whatever

Excuse me... er sorry.... but maybe I'm the only Westerner here to find what you say very complicated and difficult to understand.

"Sorry" simply means (in whatever language) "I acknowledge and take some responsibility for my mistake or wrong-doing". In Thai for example, "kor tort' means "please punish".. right?

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admin Newbie

admin

Posted
Posted
And a lot of times they will try and flip the table on you. They screwed up, and that's ok. We all make mistakes.

But then if you press them to apologize so you can move on, it turns into a big freakin' deal, and the apology might come out as "I'm sorry, now are you happy?!"

I know this one very, very well. LOL

However, it doesn't work the other way around. People prone to the turned-tables strategy want apologies from you whether or not you were in the wrong. In fact, if you somehow do get an apology from them they expect for you to apologize back to them for making them feel bad and having to apologize to you :-)

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English_Bob Newbie

English_Bob

Posted
Posted

Sorry seem to be the hardest word.... for Thais...

...Well, second hardest after 'Ploblem', I mean 'Prombem', I mean 'Plomblem.'

Ahh you know what I mean!

Anyway, I used to use a phrase in UK with a (very distant) ex - "Sorry doesn't mean anything, until you do something about it." We still joke about it to this day.

She would do something bad, say sorry. And then the next day she do it again and say sorry. If I wanted to make a big deal out of it she'd snap, "Well I SAID sorry!"

"Yeah, Baby, but you said sorry yesterday. And sorry doesn't mean anything until you do something about it."

Then I raped her Yorkie terrier and said I was sorry - but she didn't see the funny side of it.

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skomaladat Newbie

skomaladat

Posted
Posted
What "sorry" or "I am sorry"??

Some just uttered "Sorry" ..... not uttered would be "...you better accept this single word or you would be more sorry!"

"Sorry" is unheard of in most countries. At time, someone would simply say "Excuse Me..." There is no meaning to this simple "Excuse Me"! It could mean "Excuse me ... you are wrong...", or "Excuse me ... you are screwed up" , but never admitting it had been the speaker's mistake.

Lian (Face in Chinese) or Mianzi (give face or pride in Chinese) would depend on the seniority of the person. However, whatever position/level the position was, it should be practiced to return the "wrong" person some pride.

Sorry, Face, Pride, and/or likewise, is international ...not Thai, Chinese, whatever

Excuse me... er sorry.... but maybe I'm the only Westerner here to find what you say very complicated and difficult to understand.

"Sorry" simply means (in whatever language) "I acknowledge and take some responsibility for my mistake or wrong-doing". In Thai for example, "kor tort' means "please punish".. right?

Sorry, I disagree

Sorry, you are wrong

A single word "Sorry" does not tell whom was correct or wrong. There would always be that finishing statement.

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SoBeIt Newbie

SoBeIt

Posted
Posted
Was/is almost impossible for my ex to say "sorry". It did happen occasionally though this was very rare. Too much damned pride and ego. Far easier, it would seem, to find blame in another (me).

You sound excatly like my bf.. Scary.. :shock:

My bright side is.. I can pull a sunshine story in a pouring rain :twisted:

I blame everything else but me..

*****************

When I feel like I was wrong.. I wouldnt say sorry

I guess it is "the Ego Defence Mechanisms"

When I say sorry.. Often I didnt mean it..

Or I just want the discussion passed quick and dont have to think about it.

I feel often that I was wrong, but I dont say "Im sorry" often..

What a spolied little ***** eh?

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Teddy Newbie

Teddy

Posted
Posted

Hahahaha EB...that first comment was priceless.

A couple of years ago some workmen were coming to do some work on the house, but they didnt know I was going to be in, as they came in and walked into MY room, for some reason I said "sorry" , then I was thinking "wtf, why am I saying sorry for being in my own house!?"

Now I dont say sorry to anyone unless I am 100% at fault, unless Im in a restaurant or on a plane or in a shop or on a train....hmmm, I think I still say sorry too much. :roll: :wink:

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PeeMarc Newbie

PeeMarc

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Posted
Was/is almost impossible for my ex to say "sorry". It did happen occasionally though this was very rare. Too much damned pride and ego. Far easier, it would seem, to find blame in another (me).

You sound excatly like my bf.. Scary.. :shock:

My bright side is.. I can pull a sunshine story in a pouring rain :twisted:

I blame everything else but me..

*****************

When I feel like I was wrong.. I wouldnt say sorry

I guess it is "the Ego Defence Mechanisms"

When I say sorry.. Often I didnt mean it..

Or I just want the discussion passed quick and dont have to think about it.

I feel often that I was wrong, but I dont say "Im sorry" often..

What a spolied little b*tch eh?

yep.

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PeeMarc Newbie

PeeMarc

Posted
Posted
What "sorry" or "I am sorry"??

Some just uttered "Sorry" ..... not uttered would be "...you better accept this single word or you would be more sorry!"

"Sorry" is unheard of in most countries. At time, someone would simply say "Excuse Me..." There is no meaning to this simple "Excuse Me"! It could mean "Excuse me ... you are wrong...", or "Excuse me ... you are screwed up" , but never admitting it had been the speaker's mistake.

Lian (Face in Chinese) or Mianzi (give face or pride in Chinese) would depend on the seniority of the person. However, whatever position/level the position was, it should be practiced to return the "wrong" person some pride.

Sorry, Face, Pride, and/or likewise, is international ...not Thai, Chinese, whatever

Excuse me... er sorry.... but maybe I'm the only Westerner here to find what you say very complicated and difficult to understand.

"Sorry" simply means (in whatever language) "I acknowledge and take some responsibility for my mistake or wrong-doing". In Thai for example, "kor tort' means "please punish".. right?

Sorry, I disagree

Sorry, you are wrong

A single word "Sorry" does not tell whom was correct or wrong. There would always be that finishing statement.

you may disagree all you like. But you cant (logically) say I am wrong.

Ok.. lets give a simple scenario....

Lets say YOU forgot about an appointment... slipped your mind completely... and in doing so, you left a person waiting for a long time for you. Maybe in doing so, it has cost something very important.

Finally they call to ask where you are and if youre ok.

Are you going to say "sorry" for forgetting the appointment and standing them up?

Clearly, in this situation, YOU have f**ked up... they have dont nothing but to be on time.

or are you going to just avoid a simple ADULT apology in this kind of case?

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skomaladat Newbie

skomaladat

Posted
Posted
What "sorry" or "I am sorry"??

Some just uttered "Sorry" ..... not uttered would be "...you better accept this single word or you would be more sorry!"

"Sorry" is unheard of in most countries. At time, someone would simply say "Excuse Me..." There is no meaning to this simple "Excuse Me"! It could mean "Excuse me ... you are wrong...", or "Excuse me ... you are screwed up" , but never admitting it had been the speaker's mistake.

Lian (Face in Chinese) or Mianzi (give face or pride in Chinese) would depend on the seniority of the person. However, whatever position/level the position was, it should be practiced to return the "wrong" person some pride.

Sorry, Face, Pride, and/or likewise, is international ...not Thai, Chinese, whatever

Excuse me... er sorry.... but maybe I'm the only Westerner here to find what you say very complicated and difficult to understand.

"Sorry" simply means (in whatever language) "I acknowledge and take some responsibility for my mistake or wrong-doing". In Thai for example, "kor tort' means "please punish".. right?

Sorry, I disagree

Sorry, you are wrong

A single word "Sorry" does not tell whom was correct or wrong. There would always be that finishing statement.

you may disagree all you like. But you cant (logically) say I am wrong.

Ok.. lets give a simple scenario....

Lets say YOU forgot about an appointment... slipped your mind completely... and in doing so, you left a person waiting for a long time for you. Maybe in doing so, it has cost something very important.

Finally they call to ask where you are and if youre ok.

Are you going to say "sorry" for forgetting the appointment and standing them up?

Clearly, in this situation, YOU have f*cked up... they have dont nothing but to be on time.

or are you going to just avoid a simple ADULT apology in this kind of case?

Enjoy your NEW YEAR

Best Regards

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digitalcat Newbie

digitalcat

Posted
Posted

I think part of the reason why I love Thailand is ¢Ãâ·É. I get a giggle and spark of imagination every-time someone says it to me. But I can understand why Thai's don't like requesting punishment.

In any case. You have 2 simple options when someone has hurt your feeling and hasn't apologized. If they are worth it as a friend you let it go, or let them go. I have let some people go and in some cases after they realized I stopped talking to them they actually came around and apologized.

äÃè¤Ô´ÃÒ¡ :)

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Terry_Bell Newbie

Terry_Bell

Posted
Posted

Reading this thread brings an image to mind. I imagine disassembling an auto into discreet components, cleaning each item perfectly and neatly arranging the pieces into logical groups. Then after completing the “car-topsyâ€, stepping back to look at all the pieces and having absolutely no idea on how to put it all back together again (and I know… This analogy may mean absolutely nothing to anyone else but me – hehehe).

Language is typically reflective of its culture and EVERY culture has significant and meaningful ways to demonstrate remorse. However the individual (“sorryâ€) dance is regionally performed, it typically infers “an acknowledgement of responsibility and regret for its outcome†(and YES this was touched upon within this thread – car part #1). The dance also implies sincerity within it and a potential implication of not repeating the same actions of responsibility that led to the sour outcome (and again YES this was touched upon within this thread – car part #2).

Here’s where my (car-assembling) confusion comes in… Back to the subject-group the author of this thread referred to, the people criticizing “MissJaidee†for “over-using†the dance and for those who would dance for ulterior motives; there is ANOTHER ubiquitous concept that correctly defines these “types†of people… In English definition is “ASSHOLEâ€. Fetishes aside, we’re forced to carry our own a**hole (ishness) with us but to have to unnecessarily deal with the stink of another is something I don’t recommend (car part # "sideways 8").

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skomaladat Newbie

skomaladat

Posted
Posted

It had not been any implication, innuendo or suggestion on my part to mis-quote the definition of "SORRY". It begun as a share of knowledge, and, my having dug into references prior to earlier forum reply.

It is (and was) my hope to share the possible definition of the word; though, most would take for granted that saying "Sorry" means own fault.

May I humbly refer my friends to take a few minutes of your precious time to refer to:

a. Cambridge Advanced Learner's Dictionary (http://dictionary.cambridge.org/define.asp?key=75867&dict=CALD)

"used to show politenes when refusing something or disagreeing

I'm sorry but I think you've made a mistake.

I'm sorry, I can't agree"

b. http://www.stars21.com/dictionary/English-English _dictionary.html

"used when you disagree with someone, or tell someone that they have done something wrong:

I'm sorry, I find that very hard to believe"

c. http://www.merriam-webster.com/thesaurus/sorry

"feeling unhappiness<I'm sorry you feel tht way, but you still have to pay the bill>"

"Sorry" had been universally believed and deem accepted as a personal apology.

Realising that I am a slow learner and stupid, and, as I am a Thai in the continuing process of llearning and using a foreign language. I still take the little time and trouble to seek various possible definitions, when in doubt.

As a Thai, I do seek definitions when in doubt on the use of my own Language! I do not believe that I shsould be dogmatically nonchalant to stick to a single definitiion, when in doubt.

Thank you for having taken your precious time to read this inserted reply. I guess I will not continue on this particular "Sorry", otherwise, it may appear rather defensive or offensive.

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