WTF?--- News hot off the press that makes you say--- WTF?

[koolbreez]

A powerful car used in a gangland attack was involved in a high-speed police chase after it was stolen from the home of an Edinburgh lawyer.

Thugs in a black Audi S4 tailed victim James Hanlon's Vauxhall Vectra for four miles before ramming him.

His car was hit by a second vehicle before six men chased him, pinned him down at the roadside in Stepps, near Glasgow, and attacked him with power drills, hammers and chisels.

James's twin brother Bryan had his genitals mutilated in a second violent attack on Sunday.

It emerged yesterday the car used in the August 22 attack on James, 26, was stolen weeks earlier.

The Record can reveal the Audi S4 was one of two cars stolen from Edinburgh's Granton after a break-in in the early hours of July 15.

It is understood the lawyer and his wife were not at their home in Boswall Road when raiders seized the keys to the vehicle and those of an Audi A6.

But the powerful cars were spotted by police and chased through Edinburgh at speeds of up to 90mph.

Both vehicles were pursued across the capital but escaped. The S4 was spotted being driven erratically in the west of Edinburgh at 2.30am.

A patrol signalled for the driver to stop but they lost the car after it sped off into residential streets.

The A6 was seen soon afterwards in the city's Drum Brae South, but officers lost it in Broomhouse after it was driven at speeds of up to 90mph.

The S4 has been impounded by police while they continue their probe into the attack on James Hanlon.

The A6 was recovered in a separate incident. Police confirmed both vehicles were stolen from Granton.

The thefts were one of a series in the capital where luxury cars were stolen during break-ins.

Earlier this summer a Mercedes E280, Audi Q5, BMW 5 series and a Range Rover were taken from outside homes in the west of the city.

Lothian and Borders police sources say many of the cars turn up in the west of Scotland, leading to speculation that they are being "stolen to order".

Bryan Hanlon was targeted a week after his brother James had holes bored in his head with a power drill.

As well as having his penis cut off, Bryan was left with multiple fractures and severe head injuries. He is critically ill in hospital.

Bryan was driving on Maryhill Road in Glasgow at 11.30pm on Sunday when he was run off the road by a silver BMW 5 series and a dark-coloured 4x4.

His Audi S4 estate hit a wall and he was hauled out by up to seven thugs armed with chisels and hammers who subjected him to a sustained attack.

The twins were both close pals of feared gangland enforcer Kevin "Gerbil" Carroll, who was shot dead in an Asda car park in Robroyston, Glasgow, in January.

Sources say the attacks on the twins are a result of a feud between them and a rival who we cannot name for legal reasons. But it's not known why the violence has escalated to this level.

It's believed James, who is recovering, only survived because passing drivers called 999.

The gang left their cars scattered across the road and fled the scene.

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/2010/09/01/chisel-attack-gang-ditched-police-after-90mph-chase-in-stolen-car-86908-22528379/

:shock: :shock:

That was one of the strangest stories I've ever read...just because of the way they talk about the stolen cars and then are like "oh yeah, he got his balls cut off. Anyway, the Audi chase was at 90 mph..."

they mutilated his genitals!!! Heavy sh*t

One of my mates is a press photographer; says this is the heaviest story he has covered. They not only cut off his c*ck, but used the chisel to rape him. Guy is now in an induced coma and they reckon permanent vegetative state.

Not pleasant.

British gangsters or some of our lovely new arrivals. Seems heavy for the Brits.

Sounds like when the Jamaican possies first entered the NYC scene, gaining territory for their drug trade. I don't remember them being quite that ruthless, but they did cause quite a stir with their level of violence at the time.

[DANNO]

Damn it.. I run out of popcorns..

________________________________-

Norway pair face death in Congo

Two Norwegian men have been sentenced to death in the Democratic Republic of Congo after being convicted of murder.

Joshua French, 27, and Tjostolv Moland, 28, were also accused of arms smuggling and espionage. They denied all charges.

They were held after their Congolese driver was found shot dead in May this year in the north-east of the country.

The two were ordered to pay $60m (£36m) damages. There was reportedly applause when the sentence was handed down at a military tribunal in Kisangani city.

Diplomatic sources confirmed French had dual British-Norwegian citizenship, but UK officials had so far not played a role in the case.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/8244630.stm

I got a fresh batch made; we should have a pool...who is winding who up, and who will surrender first. :roll:

[Stramash]

A powerful car used in a gangland attack was involved in a high-speed police chase after it was stolen from the home of an Edinburgh lawyer.

Thugs in a black Audi S4 tailed victim James Hanlon's Vauxhall Vectra for four miles before ramming him.

His car was hit by a second vehicle before six men chased him, pinned him down at the roadside in Stepps, near Glasgow, and attacked him with power drills, hammers and chisels.

James's twin brother Bryan had his genitals mutilated in a second violent attack on Sunday.

It emerged yesterday the car used in the August 22 attack on James, 26, was stolen weeks earlier.

The Record can reveal the Audi S4 was one of two cars stolen from Edinburgh's Granton after a break-in in the early hours of July 15.

It is understood the lawyer and his wife were not at their home in Boswall Road when raiders seized the keys to the vehicle and those of an Audi A6.

But the powerful cars were spotted by police and chased through Edinburgh at speeds of up to 90mph.

Both vehicles were pursued across the capital but escaped. The S4 was spotted being driven erratically in the west of Edinburgh at 2.30am.

A patrol signalled for the driver to stop but they lost the car after it sped off into residential streets.

The A6 was seen soon afterwards in the city's Drum Brae South, but officers lost it in Broomhouse after it was driven at speeds of up to 90mph.

The S4 has been impounded by police while they continue their probe into the attack on James Hanlon.

The A6 was recovered in a separate incident. Police confirmed both vehicles were stolen from Granton.

The thefts were one of a series in the capital where luxury cars were stolen during break-ins.

Earlier this summer a Mercedes E280, Audi Q5, BMW 5 series and a Range Rover were taken from outside homes in the west of the city.

Lothian and Borders police sources say many of the cars turn up in the west of Scotland, leading to speculation that they are being "stolen to order".

Bryan Hanlon was targeted a week after his brother James had holes bored in his head with a power drill.

As well as having his penis cut off, Bryan was left with multiple fractures and severe head injuries. He is critically ill in hospital.

Bryan was driving on Maryhill Road in Glasgow at 11.30pm on Sunday when he was run off the road by a silver BMW 5 series and a dark-coloured 4x4.

His Audi S4 estate hit a wall and he was hauled out by up to seven thugs armed with chisels and hammers who subjected him to a sustained attack.

The twins were both close pals of feared gangland enforcer Kevin "Gerbil" Carroll, who was shot dead in an Asda car park in Robroyston, Glasgow, in January.

Sources say the attacks on the twins are a result of a feud between them and a rival who we cannot name for legal reasons. But it's not known why the violence has escalated to this level.

It's believed James, who is recovering, only survived because passing drivers called 999.

The gang left their cars scattered across the road and fled the scene.

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/2010/09/01/chisel-attack-gang-ditched-police-after-90mph-chase-in-stolen-car-86908-22528379/

:shock: :shock:

That was one of the strangest stories I've ever read...just because of the way they talk about the stolen cars and then are like "oh yeah, he got his balls cut off. Anyway, the Audi chase was at 90 mph..."

they mutilated his genitals!!! Heavy sh*t

One of my mates is a press photographer; says this is the heaviest story he has covered. They not only cut off his c*ck, but used the chisel to rape him. Guy is now in an induced coma and they reckon permanent vegetative state.

Not pleasant.

British gangsters or some of our lovely new arrivals. Seems heavy for the Brits.

Pure Glaswegian, but possibly the worst attack since the 1960's. Usually they just get shot dead but these guys obviously wanted to mutilate and maim as much as possible.

[koolbreez]

World's 'oldest beer' found in shipwreck

By Les Neuhaus, CNNSeptember 3, 2010 -- Updated 1033 GMT (1833 HKT)

(CNN) -- First there was the discovery of dozens of bottles of 200-year-old champagne, but now salvage divers have recovered what they believe to be the world's oldest beer, taking advertisers' notion of 'drinkability' to another level.

Though the effort to lift the reserve of champagne had just ended, researchers uncovered a small collection of bottled beer on Wednesday from the same shipwreck south of the autonomous Aland Islands in the Baltic Sea.

"At the moment, we believe that these are by far the world's oldest bottles of beer," Rainer Juslin, permanent secretary of the island's ministry of education, science and culture, told CNN on Friday via telephone from Mariehamn, the capital of the Aland Islands.

"It seems that we have not only salvaged the oldest champagne in the world, but also the oldest still drinkable beer. The culture in the beer is still living."

Juslin said officials had talked to a local brewer about whether the new-found beer might be able to yield its recipe after experts decipher the brew's ingredients.

The newest find came as divers unearthed bottles separate from the earlier champagne find. While lifting a few to the surface, one exploded from pressure. A dark fluid seeped from the broken bottle, which they realized was beer.

All the cargo on the ship -- including the beer and champagne -- is believed to have been transported sometime between 1800 and 1830, according to Juslin. He said the wreck was about 50 meters deep (roughly 164 feet) in between the Aland island chain and Finland.

The cargo was aboard a ship believed to be heading from Copenhagen, Denmark, to St Petersburg, Russia. It could have possibly been sent by France's King Louis XVI to the Russian Imperial Court.

"Champagne of this kind was popular in high levels [of society] and was exclusive to rich groups -- it was not a drink for common people then," Juslin said.

Experts estimated the exclusive bubbly to be worth tens of thousands of euros per bottle. The value of the beer has not been determined. It is also unknown whether the beer went flat while sitting at the bottom of the Baltic for such a long time.

Some of the bottles of champagne were originally produced by Juglar, a premium champagne house no longer in existence, according to Juslin.

He said the cold sea water was a perfect way to store the spirits, with the temperature remaining a near-constant 4-5 degrees Celsius (around freezing temperature in Fahrenheit, or 32 degrees) and no light to expedite the spoiling process.

Investigators and historians have not yet unraveled the mystery surrounding the exact origin of the ship or the date when the ship went down.

Juslin said other artifacts were still lying in the shipwreck, but it would take several months to lift them out of the wreck.

The islands are at the entrance of the Gulf of Bothnia, in the Baltic Sea. They have Swedish-speaking people, though the island itself falls under Finnish protection. The Aland chain forms a Nordic archipelago of more than 6,000 skerries and islands.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It also looks like the first good example of not drinking, and driving, with the ship being found wrecked....lol.

[Bruce551]

http://www.bangkokpost.com/news/local/194532/public-called-on-to-define-brand-thailand

Prime Minister Abhisit Vejjajiva yesterday presided over a ceremony to kick off the campaign at the Foreign Ministry.

The campaign urges citizens to vote for which image of Thailand they want the government to promote internationally. Four choices are offered:

- Thailand as a country of open-minded people with a positive attitude.

- Thailand as a country with local wisdom that is still open to the world.

- Thailand as the place where business, culture and nature converge into one destination.

- Thailand as a hub for investment and exemplary service.

-Thailand ting/tong capital of the world with the best 7/11 service (he he).

Voting started yesterday and will continue until Sep 24, and can be done via the post, text messaging, and through many online venues including Facebook and Twitter. Full details are available on ThailandBranding.org

[drlovelife8]

A powerful car used in a gangland attack was involved in a high-speed police chase after it was stolen from the home of an Edinburgh lawyer.

Thugs in a black Audi S4 tailed victim James Hanlon's Vauxhall Vectra for four miles before ramming him.

His car was hit by a second vehicle before six men chased him, pinned him down at the roadside in Stepps, near Glasgow, and attacked him with power drills, hammers and chisels.

James's twin brother Bryan had his genitals mutilated in a second violent attack on Sunday.

It emerged yesterday the car used in the August 22 attack on James, 26, was stolen weeks earlier.

The Record can reveal the Audi S4 was one of two cars stolen from Edinburgh's Granton after a break-in in the early hours of July 15.

It is understood the lawyer and his wife were not at their home in Boswall Road when raiders seized the keys to the vehicle and those of an Audi A6.

But the powerful cars were spotted by police and chased through Edinburgh at speeds of up to 90mph.

Both vehicles were pursued across the capital but escaped. The S4 was spotted being driven erratically in the west of Edinburgh at 2.30am.

A patrol signalled for the driver to stop but they lost the car after it sped off into residential streets.

The A6 was seen soon afterwards in the city's Drum Brae South, but officers lost it in Broomhouse after it was driven at speeds of up to 90mph.

The S4 has been impounded by police while they continue their probe into the attack on James Hanlon.

The A6 was recovered in a separate incident. Police confirmed both vehicles were stolen from Granton.

The thefts were one of a series in the capital where luxury cars were stolen during break-ins.

Earlier this summer a Mercedes E280, Audi Q5, BMW 5 series and a Range Rover were taken from outside homes in the west of the city.

Lothian and Borders police sources say many of the cars turn up in the west of Scotland, leading to speculation that they are being "stolen to order".

Bryan Hanlon was targeted a week after his brother James had holes bored in his head with a power drill.

As well as having his penis cut off, Bryan was left with multiple fractures and severe head injuries. He is critically ill in hospital.

Bryan was driving on Maryhill Road in Glasgow at 11.30pm on Sunday when he was run off the road by a silver BMW 5 series and a dark-coloured 4x4.

His Audi S4 estate hit a wall and he was hauled out by up to seven thugs armed with chisels and hammers who subjected him to a sustained attack.

The twins were both close pals of feared gangland enforcer Kevin "Gerbil" Carroll, who was shot dead in an Asda car park in Robroyston, Glasgow, in January.

Sources say the attacks on the twins are a result of a feud between them and a rival who we cannot name for legal reasons. But it's not known why the violence has escalated to this level.

It's believed James, who is recovering, only survived because passing drivers called 999.

The gang left their cars scattered across the road and fled the scene.

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/2010/09/01/chisel-attack-gang-ditched-police-after-90mph-chase-in-stolen-car-86908-22528379/

:shock: :shock:

That was one of the strangest stories I've ever read...just because of the way they talk about the stolen cars and then are like "oh yeah, he got his balls cut off. Anyway, the Audi chase was at 90 mph..."

they mutilated his genitals!!! Heavy sh*t

One of my mates is a press photographer; says this is the heaviest story he has covered. They not only cut off his c*ck, but used the chisel to rape him. Guy is now in an induced coma and they reckon permanent vegetative state.

Not pleasant.

British gangsters or some of our lovely new arrivals. Seems heavy for the Brits.

Pure Glaswegian, but possibly the worst attack since the 1960's. Usually they just get shot dead but these guys obviously wanted to mutilate and maim as much as possible.

That is sending a serious message to someone.

[Stramash]

A powerful car used in a gangland attack was involved in a high-speed police chase after it was stolen from the home of an Edinburgh lawyer.

Thugs in a black Audi S4 tailed victim James Hanlon's Vauxhall Vectra for four miles before ramming him.

His car was hit by a second vehicle before six men chased him, pinned him down at the roadside in Stepps, near Glasgow, and attacked him with power drills, hammers and chisels.

James's twin brother Bryan had his genitals mutilated in a second violent attack on Sunday.

It emerged yesterday the car used in the August 22 attack on James, 26, was stolen weeks earlier.

The Record can reveal the Audi S4 was one of two cars stolen from Edinburgh's Granton after a break-in in the early hours of July 15.

It is understood the lawyer and his wife were not at their home in Boswall Road when raiders seized the keys to the vehicle and those of an Audi A6.

But the powerful cars were spotted by police and chased through Edinburgh at speeds of up to 90mph.

Both vehicles were pursued across the capital but escaped. The S4 was spotted being driven erratically in the west of Edinburgh at 2.30am.

A patrol signalled for the driver to stop but they lost the car after it sped off into residential streets.

The A6 was seen soon afterwards in the city's Drum Brae South, but officers lost it in Broomhouse after it was driven at speeds of up to 90mph.

The S4 has been impounded by police while they continue their probe into the attack on James Hanlon.

The A6 was recovered in a separate incident. Police confirmed both vehicles were stolen from Granton.

The thefts were one of a series in the capital where luxury cars were stolen during break-ins.

Earlier this summer a Mercedes E280, Audi Q5, BMW 5 series and a Range Rover were taken from outside homes in the west of the city.

Lothian and Borders police sources say many of the cars turn up in the west of Scotland, leading to speculation that they are being "stolen to order".

Bryan Hanlon was targeted a week after his brother James had holes bored in his head with a power drill.

As well as having his penis cut off, Bryan was left with multiple fractures and severe head injuries. He is critically ill in hospital.

Bryan was driving on Maryhill Road in Glasgow at 11.30pm on Sunday when he was run off the road by a silver BMW 5 series and a dark-coloured 4x4.

His Audi S4 estate hit a wall and he was hauled out by up to seven thugs armed with chisels and hammers who subjected him to a sustained attack.

The twins were both close pals of feared gangland enforcer Kevin "Gerbil" Carroll, who was shot dead in an Asda car park in Robroyston, Glasgow, in January.

Sources say the attacks on the twins are a result of a feud between them and a rival who we cannot name for legal reasons. But it's not known why the violence has escalated to this level.

It's believed James, who is recovering, only survived because passing drivers called 999.

The gang left their cars scattered across the road and fled the scene.

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/2010/09/01/chisel-attack-gang-ditched-police-after-90mph-chase-in-stolen-car-86908-22528379/

:shock: :shock:

That was one of the strangest stories I've ever read...just because of the way they talk about the stolen cars and then are like "oh yeah, he got his balls cut off. Anyway, the Audi chase was at 90 mph..."

they mutilated his genitals!!! Heavy sh*t

One of my mates is a press photographer; says this is the heaviest story he has covered. They not only cut off his c*ck, but used the chisel to rape him. Guy is now in an induced coma and they reckon permanent vegetative state.

Not pleasant.

British gangsters or some of our lovely new arrivals. Seems heavy for the Brits.

Pure Glaswegian, but possibly the worst attack since the 1960's. Usually they just get shot dead but these guys obviously wanted to mutilate and maim as much as possible.

That is sending a serious message to someone.

It's a continuation of an ongoing territory dispute. One of the big guys Kevin 'Gerbil' Carrol (is it just me or is 'Gerbil' a really shite nickname for a gangster?) was shot dead back in January. The 2 guys in the story are his sidekicks/muscle. But, as you say, a very serious message.

[funky_house]

A powerful car used in a gangland attack was involved in a high-speed police chase after it was stolen from the home of an Edinburgh lawyer.

Thugs in a black Audi S4 tailed victim James Hanlon's Vauxhall Vectra for four miles before ramming him.

His car was hit by a second vehicle before six men chased him, pinned him down at the roadside in Stepps, near Glasgow, and attacked him with power drills, hammers and chisels.

James's twin brother Bryan had his genitals mutilated in a second violent attack on Sunday.

It emerged yesterday the car used in the August 22 attack on James, 26, was stolen weeks earlier.

The Record can reveal the Audi S4 was one of two cars stolen from Edinburgh's Granton after a break-in in the early hours of July 15.

It is understood the lawyer and his wife were not at their home in Boswall Road when raiders seized the keys to the vehicle and those of an Audi A6.

But the powerful cars were spotted by police and chased through Edinburgh at speeds of up to 90mph.

Both vehicles were pursued across the capital but escaped. The S4 was spotted being driven erratically in the west of Edinburgh at 2.30am.

A patrol signalled for the driver to stop but they lost the car after it sped off into residential streets.

The A6 was seen soon afterwards in the city's Drum Brae South, but officers lost it in Broomhouse after it was driven at speeds of up to 90mph.

The S4 has been impounded by police while they continue their probe into the attack on James Hanlon.

The A6 was recovered in a separate incident. Police confirmed both vehicles were stolen from Granton.

The thefts were one of a series in the capital where luxury cars were stolen during break-ins.

Earlier this summer a Mercedes E280, Audi Q5, BMW 5 series and a Range Rover were taken from outside homes in the west of the city.

Lothian and Borders police sources say many of the cars turn up in the west of Scotland, leading to speculation that they are being "stolen to order".

Bryan Hanlon was targeted a week after his brother James had holes bored in his head with a power drill.

As well as having his penis cut off, Bryan was left with multiple fractures and severe head injuries. He is critically ill in hospital.

Bryan was driving on Maryhill Road in Glasgow at 11.30pm on Sunday when he was run off the road by a silver BMW 5 series and a dark-coloured 4x4.

His Audi S4 estate hit a wall and he was hauled out by up to seven thugs armed with chisels and hammers who subjected him to a sustained attack.

The twins were both close pals of feared gangland enforcer Kevin "Gerbil" Carroll, who was shot dead in an Asda car park in Robroyston, Glasgow, in January.

Sources say the attacks on the twins are a result of a feud between them and a rival who we cannot name for legal reasons. But it's not known why the violence has escalated to this level.

It's believed James, who is recovering, only survived because passing drivers called 999.

The gang left their cars scattered across the road and fled the scene.

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/2010/09/01/chisel-attack-gang-ditched-police-after-90mph-chase-in-stolen-car-86908-22528379/

:shock: :shock:

That was one of the strangest stories I've ever read...just because of the way they talk about the stolen cars and then are like "oh yeah, he got his balls cut off. Anyway, the Audi chase was at 90 mph..."

they mutilated his genitals!!! Heavy sh*t

One of my mates is a press photographer; says this is the heaviest story he has covered. They not only cut off his c*ck, but used the chisel to rape him. Guy is now in an induced coma and they reckon permanent vegetative state.

Not pleasant.

British gangsters or some of our lovely new arrivals. Seems heavy for the Brits.

Pure Glaswegian, but possibly the worst attack since the 1960's. Usually they just get shot dead but these guys obviously wanted to mutilate and maim as much as possible.

That is sending a serious message to someone.

It's a continuation of an ongoing territory dispute. One of the big guys Kevin 'Gerbil' Carrol (is it just me or is 'Gerbil' a really shite nickname for a gangster?) was shot dead back in January. The 2 guys in the story are his sidekicks/muscle. But, as you say, a very serious message.

I wonder if there will be retaliation. These sort of people never let these things go.

[SoBeIt]

Saw this news many days ago,,

Only thing I wonder is that.. how can they live in there so long without sun..

______________

Chileans turn to NASA for help in keeping 33 miners alive and well during rescue attempt which is expected to last for months

Chile has called on NASA for help keeping 33 trapped miners alive during a rescue attempt which could take until Christmas.

Health officials compared the cramped conditions the men are in to those astronauts experience during long stints on the International Space Station.

The South American country's Health Ministry said it was contacting NASA to ask for technology and rations which will keep the miners healthy in a confined space with limited supplies.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1305350/Chilean-miners-alive-trapped-rescue-months.html

[koolbreez]

SAN JOSE MINE, Chile – While a fire warms their campsite, the icy feeling between Cristina Nunez Macias and her mother-in-law is as palpable as the cold Atacama desert.

Both women are here to support the same man, 34-year-old Claudio Yanez, one of the 33 trapped miners in Northern Chile. But they barely acknowledge each other, thanks to wounds created many years ago, and have been fighting over who should get Yanez's salary and donations that have come from all over Chile.

"We have barely spoken in six years," said Macias. "And now she thinks the donations and help should go to her? No way."

The miners themselves passed the one-month mark underground on Sunday — apparently longer than any other trapped miners have ever had to endure — and they still face more weeks or months before rescue. The strain also has shaken the fault lines in their families above. Some squabble over who should get the miners' August wage, who should share in the donated food.

The local government has been forced to institute several measures: The miners were asked to send up a note designating who could get their $1,600 (800,000 peso) salary for August. There are separate bank accounts for each miner, which no family member can touch.

Social workers have been brought in to sort out who gets boxes of food, household cleaners and clothes donated by unions, companies and individuals — helping settle disputes among relatives of about half the families of the trapped men, said Pamela Leiva, the head social worker at the camp of relatives waiting near the mine.

"For each miner, sometimes there are as many as three families to consider," she said. "And to understand them, we have had to dig into the lives of the miners before the accident."

Those lives, just like lives the world over, can be complicated.

There are men who have been living with a partner for years while still formally married to a woman from whom they separated long ago, the result of a rigid divorce law. In a few cases, the legal wife of a miner has come forward looking for donations, said Leiva.

There are brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers on both sides of a miner who don't get along, or who depended on his salary to survive, meaning they can't just wait long months for their loved one to be rescued.

And of course, some miners have skeletons in their unexpectedly opened closets.

Leiva confirmed a story told by other witnesses: One miner's wife and lover were both keeping vigil at the camp. When the two realized they were both praying for the same man, they had a very public argument, and the wife tore down a poster with the miner's photo that the mistress had set up.

The mistress taped her poster back up, and beneath several poems and prayers she had dedicated to him, she added, as if defiantly: "Tu Senora," or "your wife."

Having to designate who gets their salary, a large sum in a country where the minimum wage is roughly $400 (200,000 pesos) a month, can put the men in a difficult situation, and limited communications give them little way to talk through the problems with squabbling relatives 2,300 feet (700 meters) above their heads.

Miner Claudio Yanez designated Cristina Nunez Macias, 26, his partner of 10 years and mother of their two daughters, an 8-year-old and a toddler.

Yanez's mother, Margarita, declined to be interviewed, but his brother, Carlos Yanez, 38, said the tensions had died down the last week, as the two women have had to make peace.

Carlos also said they had come to an agreement on nonperishable items: leave them in Cristina's house until the miner gets out and can decide who gets what.

For all the fissures that have been exposed, the tragedy has also brought families together.

Maria Segovia said that a stepdaughter of her brother, trapped miner Dario Segovia, visited the camp one day and angered Dario's three biological children by telling local media she was his only child. In fact, she was a stepdaughter from Segovia's previous relationship.

But after the blowup came a makeup, and a stronger relationship.

"We love her as one of Dario's children," said Maria.

Despite worldwide attention, the miners' financial future is uncertain when and if they make it out alive.

The owners of the mining company, San Esteban, have said they may not be able to pay wages in September, and are considering bankruptcy.

The day after the men were discovered alive, businessman Leonardo Farkas donated $10,000 (5 million pesos) to each miner. That money has been put in the miners' accounts, and Farkas has encouraged Chileans to donate.

Money donations are distributed evenly among the 33 miners, said Leiva, the social worker.

While every family is focused on seeing its loved one emerge alive, there is another deep, longer-term worry: Will these men be able to return to work?

Many, psychologically and physically, may be unable to go back in the mines, or refuse to do so.

There are few other opportunities in Northern Chile, and many of the men don't have the education to do anything else that pays as well.

"A big worry is: How they will come out?" said Leiva. "They don't have other jobs."

[CiaranM]

One of my mates is a press photographer; says this is the heaviest story he has covered. They not only cut off his c*ck, but used the chisel to rape him. Guy is now in an induced coma and they reckon permanent vegetative state.

Not pleasant.

that was certainly a real WTF story .... those guys must have been involved in some heavy hardcore stuff !!!!

[Bruce551]

Justice for Sale, Freedom for a Fee

http://www.pattayadailynews.com/en/2010/09/05/justice-for-sale-freedom-for-a-fee/

Cynics have long claimed that justice in Thailand is a marketable commodity like almost anything else. A current issue involving a wealthy elderly Swede, accused of multiple cases of sexual abuse of children, financially manipulative lawyers perverting the course of justice and a greedy adulterous judge, have cast a ‘cloud of corruptive gloom’ over the Courts of Justice in Thailand.

Mr. Solberg [Alias] [60], a Swedish national (Passport No. 52840530), was charged on multiple counts of sexual abuse after having had sexual relations with underage boys in Pattaya, Thailand. Along with two other foreigners, Mr. Solberg was arrested and remanded in custody in 2009, following an extensive police investigation.

Seeking representation, Mr. Solberg hired a lawyer from a firm located in Soi R, Moo.10, South Pattaya. Miss Wanida [alias], who runs the legal practitioners, had tried to bail her client out of remand more than 10 times, but was ultimately unsuccessful.

Allegedly by chance, Miss Wanida was introduced to another woman Miss Linda [alias] (ID card 3-4210-00257+++ residing at Moo. 1 Tamaka, Kanchanaburi) by an associate law firm. Miss Linda was supposed to be very powerful woman and ‘close’ to a judge in the Court of Appeals, who revealed that she may be able to help Miss Wanida and her client.

Using Miss Linda’s connections in an attempt to gain her client bail, Miss Wanida, a lawyer and Mr. Nopadol [alias] (an intermediary for Miss Linda) signed a strong MOU [Memorandum of understanding] regarding procedures and payment. In using Mr. Nopadol (for a minor fee), both Miss Linda and the aforementioned Judge were thus concealed from any involvement in the case.

On the 14th of September 2009, Miss Wanida and Mr. Nopadol opened a joint bank account at the Siam Commercial Bank, Central Ladprow branch. The account deposited in the new account totaled 3.5 million baht.

Under the terms of the MOU and resultant account, both had to sign their names in order to withdraw the money. If the bail application was successful for all three cases, Miss Wanida would have to sign over to Mr. Nopadol. If the bail request was rejected, Mr. Nopadol would have to sign for Miss Wanida to withdraw. The MOU was signed at the Central Ladprow Department store.

Two weeks later, on the 30th September 2009, the judge at the Court of Appeals remarkably signed permission for the Swedish man to be released on bail, despite more than 10 previous rejections!

On the 3rd of October 2009, Miss Linda asked Miss Wanida to withdraw 100,000 baht to pay Mr. Nopadol and for the remaining 3.4 million to be transferred into her own account at the same bank. According to media sources, she later made cash withdrawals of not more than 1 million each time in order to pay the judge.

After the successful bail requests, the Swedish man was so impressed with Miss Linda’s job that he then signed a MOU hiring her to handle his cases until all charges are dismissed.

This time Mr. Solberg, residing at 404/118 Moo. 12, Nongprue, Banglamung,Chonburi, signed the MOU as the principal [payer], using Miss Linda as the go-between. The amount to buy his complete freedom was set at 9.2 million baht by Miss Linda. The MOU was signed on the 16th of October 2009 at a house in Chimplee, Bangkok. Miss Wanida also signed her name on the new MOU but only as a witness to the agreement.

Mr. Solberg allegedly paid Miss Linda 1 million baht by way of a Bangkok Bank draft at the Pattaya 2nd road branch. The payee was Miss Linda. The MOU mentioned that the 2nd payment would be on the 31st October 2009 [bt1.5 million] and that a third of 1.5 million would be due on the 15th November 2009.

If the three cases were dismissed the payer would pay the payee another 5.2 million baht to conclude payment. Mr. Solberg had already deposited this amount into an account identical to the one used under the previous agreement.

Should the three cases not be dismissed, the payee agreed in the MOU to return the total amount of 4 million baht, the deposit of 1 million plus two installments of 1.5 million, back to the payer, immediately.

Cuckolded Husband Intervenes on Proceedings

The bribery would have been another successful story for Miss Linda and the judge if the formers husband had kept quiet about the situation.

Mr. Apichet [alias], the depressed husband of Miss Linda, had been skeptical about her ‘behavior’ for quite some time, following her and confronting her with the facts he finally got her to confess that she had been having an affair with the aforementioned judge.

Scorned, Mr. Apichet subsequently filed a complaint against his wife, Miss Linda, and the judge for adultery and bribery. The confidential complaint, along with documents and supporting evidence was sent to the Chairman of the Supreme Court.

Mr. Apichet told a Thai investigator that he had been threatened by Miss Linda and the judge on several occasions. He said Miss Linda and the judge wanted him to divorce her and to withdraw the case against them. Mr. Apichet’s car repair shop was then closed down following an injunction by the involved judge.

As a result, Mr. Apichet then filed a civil case, suing the judge, Miss Linda and her gang, a total of 9 people, for threatening and closing his shop at Talingchan Court, Bangkok. This new case seemed to make the situation worse, resulting in ‘more serious’ threats received by Mr. Apichet, who subsequently fled the capital.

On the 25th August 2010, a reliable source from the Office of the Judiciary confirmed to reporters that the Judiciary Committee was investigating both Miss Linda and the judge on many similar accusations involving more than 70 million baht in bribery payments.

Initially, the accused judge was transferred to the Office of the Judiciary where he has no judicial duties, particularly those concerned with the ongoing investigation into the bribery cases of which he is accused. If he is found guilty he will be investigated by the National Commission Anti-Fraud Protection Division.

On the 2nd of September 2010, at 5.30 pm, Miss Wanida told the press by phone that she admitted that she had signed the MOU with Mr. Nopadol, claiming that it was a legal document hiring him to handle the bailing process. The 2nd MOU was signed by Mr. Solberg, hiring Miss Linda and her team as the legal consultants for his cases. Miss Wanida was hired as a translator and signed as a witness. She added that she had already withdrawn as the legal advisor on Mr. Solberg’s cases and reportedly had not yet been contacted by investigators.

A reliable source has informed the press that the bribery complaint cases have also been sent to all the Privy Councilors, the DSI and the Minister of the Ministry of Justice.

How Pattaya Attorney Avoids the Fire

1. She mentioned in the MOU that the 3.5 million baht was transferred into her account from Mr. Solberg for use in bail proceedings and other expenses.

2. In the second MOU, she said she was only the translator and witness.

3. She said she did not know that Miss Linda was the judge’s mistress and was unaware of how Miss Linda would get the bail permission for her client.

4. She also said she resigned the contract between her company and Mr. Solberg after he had opted to engage the services of Miss Linda directly.

Editor Notes:

It is my opinion that Miss Wanida and Miss Linda had likely been long time associates, working together on many cases of a similar degree and profitable outcome in the past.

Mr. Solberg is now out on bail. Do you think he would come back to face court after the bribery revelations and already serious nature of his offences? I sincerely doubt it.

Well, 4 million is already paid to Miss Linda and 5.2 million is being held in a joint account, one wonders whether they will get together and withdraw the money or has Mr. Solberg already departed the country?

Mr. Gibbs, his British friend, is no longer in Thai custody. After spending 14 months awaiting his trial, he was released at 10:00 on the15th August 2010. He was found NOT GUILTY on all of the charges against him at Bangkok Criminal Court and is being released from Prison at that night.

“JUSTICE FOR SALE IS NO JUSTICE AT ALLâ€

Warina Punyawan

Editor-In-Chief

Pattaya Daily News

[email protected]

[English_Bob]

Japs... the weirdest people on earth.

ATAMI, Japan—This resort town, once popular with honeymooners, is turning to a new breed of romance seekers—virtual sweethearts.

In Love Plus, a Japanese dating simulation game, players experience young romance with a virtual girlfriend. Some have even taken their beloved avatars to an island resort -- a real island resort. WSJ's Akiko Fujita takes a tour of Atami.

Since the marriage rate among Japan's shrinking population is falling and with many of the country's remaining lovebirds heading for Hawaii or Australia's Gold Coast, Atami had to do something. It is trying to attract single men—and their handheld devices.

In the first month of the city's promotional campaign launched July 10, more than 1,500 male fans of the Japanese dating-simulation game LovePlus+ have flocked to Atami for a romantic date with their videogame character girlfriends.

The men are real. The girls are cartoon characters on a screen. The trips are actual, can be expensive and aim to re-create the virtual weekend outing featured in the game, a product of Konami Corp. played on Nintendo Co.'s DS videogame system.

Japan Real Time

* Virtual Girls, Real Boys

"Atami has always been a romantic place, but it is now a romantic place for a modern generation," says Sakae Saito, Atami's mayor.

Love Plus+ re-creates the experience of an adolescent romance. The goal isn't just to get the girl but to maintain a relationship with her.

After choosing one of three female characters—goodie-goodie Manaka, sassy Rinko or big-sister type Nene—to be a steady girlfriend, the player taps a stylus on the DS touch-screen in order to walk hand-in-hand to school, exchange flirtatious text messages and even meet in the school courtyard for a little afternoon kiss. Using the device's built-in microphone, the player can carry on sweet, albeit mundane, conversations.

Konami Digital Entertainment sells the Love Plus video game with wording reading: "Can't stop loving her ... 365 days. This love gentle, warm and strong like the sun. Together we sail out to the sea of love..."

A game character from Love Plus is superimposed over a cellphone photo of Kanji Nagasawa, the owner of a Korean barbecue restaurant in Atami, Japan, holding a specialty dish created for the game's fans.

If the real-life Romeo earns enough "boyfriend power" points—by completing game tasks like homework or exercise to become smarter and more buff—the reward is a virtual trip to Atami.

In the game, the couple tours the local landmarks. The girlfriend changes into a yukata, a casual summer kimono, to go see the fireworks, and then they stay overnight at the Hotel Ohnoya. It is known for its cavernous, white-columned baths in the style of Ancient Rome.

In his first visit to the real-life Atami, Love Plus+ gamer Shunsuke Kato planned to walk around the city and see the sights familiar to him from playing the game. One small hitch: his girlfriend, Manaka, was giving him the silent treatment.

She was upset that he had been so busy at work that he had been playing the game only 10 minutes a day. "On days off, I spend one to two hours with her. I guess, compared to the people who come here, our relationship is a bit lukewarm," said Mr. Kato.

Located at the bend of the Japanese archipelago and a one-hour train ride from Tokyo, Atami has definitely seen better days.

The number of overnight visitors has dropped by half from the peak in the late 1960s. The main shopping area has many boarded-up storefronts—a lot of them defunct bars, clubs and other remnants of the city's heyday as an entertainment mecca.

The city is going all-out to indulge ardent Love Plus+ fans.

At the real Hotel Ohnoya, which opened its doors in 1937, the staff is trained to check in Love Plus+ customers as couples even if there is only one actual guest. Says Atsurou Ohno, the hotel's managing director, "We try not to ask too many questions because we want them to be able to remain immersed in that game world."

Some devoted fans will go so far as to pay twice the rate—most hotels in Japan charge per guest not per room—to indulge the fantasy that they are not there alone. A night's stay, at most, can cost $500 though many rooms are cheaper.

In Atami, the Love Plus+ fans—mostly men in their twenties and thirties—stand out. Unlike the deeply tanned beach crowd wearing very little, they are often pasty and overdressed for the heat in heavy jeans and button-down shirts.

Tatsuya Fukazawa, a 19-year-old college student, was visiting Atami for the first time on a recent weekend. In a small waist bag, he carried his Nintendo DS. Once he turned on the device, his virtual girlfriend Manaka Takane—a Libra who enjoys making pastries—greeted him in a syrupy sweet voice.

"There isn't a lot of romance in my life and this helps me cope with some of the loneliness," said Mr. Fukazawa with a chuckle.

Adding real elements to the virtual relationships is central to the Love Plus+ series. The games can be synched up to an actual calendar and clock, which means playing the game too late at night might mean that the virtual girlfriend is already asleep. Players are expected to remember important dates like birthdays and holidays.

Local businesses are feeling the love.

Yamadaya, a shop selling processed fish cakes on Atami's main shopping street, started offering special Love Plus+ fish cakes at the end of July. On top of a rubbery square white cake about the size of piece of toast, Yamadaya draws the characters' faces using black squid ink. At 450 yen ($5.30), the store has been selling out its daily allotment of 150 cakes—50 for each girl.

Korean barbecue-inspired restaurant Hien says a quarter of its customers are currently game-related. For 5,000 yen, customers get a special Love Plus+ menu of Japanese beef and side dishes.

Kanji Nagasawa, Hien's owner, says he is accustomed to making small talk with customers, but the Love Plus+ crowd often sits in silence and plays the game while eating.

"We've been stunned," Mr. Nagasawa said, "how happy this makes those customers."

Alas, the boom ends this month, when the imaginary characters have to go back to school.

[TimmyTabasco]

Probe launched after China pilots falsified records: govt

By Robert Saiget (AFP) – 1 day ago

BEIJING — China said Monday it was investigating its commercial pilots' qualifications amid revelations more than 200 of them lied on their resumes.

The probe comes after 42 people died on August 24 when a Brazilian-made jet flown by Henan Airlines crashed at a small airport in northeastern China's Heilongjiang province.

Fifty-four passengers and crew survived the crash, in which the plane missed the runway, sparking speculation that pilot error was to blame.

The investigation into qualifications was launched by the Civil Aviation Administration of China (CAAC), the country's aviation regulator, the central government's news website said.

Between 2008 and 2009, the resumes of more than 200 Chinese commercial pilots were found to have been falsified, the report said, with some of them embellishing their flying histories.

At least half of the pilots worked for Shenzhen Airlines, which owns Henan Airlines.

"Some pilots changed their jobs many times and they constantly distorted their resumes," the report said.

"Some of them were former military pilots and became civil pilots, after being discovered a lot of them were grounded and had to go through re-examinations and re-assessment."

Investigators looking into the Henan Airlines crash were focusing on the qualifications of the pilot, the report added.

Previous media reports have said the pilot survived the crash, but was badly injured.

The government would also check the qualifications of other industry workers such as flight trainers, airline investigators, repair crews and air traffic controllers, Monday's report said.

It gave no figures on the number of people involved. China had 11,000 commercial air pilots in 2006, with hundreds added annually as the domestic aviation industry grows rapidly, according to previous media reports.

"We must draw a lesson from this painful air accident and figure out how to control the quick development (of the industry) and use quality demands to stabilise and slow development," Li Jiaxiang, CAAC head, was quoted by the government report as saying.

Authorities have already ordered safety checks of the country's fast-growing civil aviation fleet of 1,300 planes in the wake of the disaster, China's first major air disaster in nearly six years.

Some online chatrooms, the main outlet for relatively free public expression for millions in China, expressed outrage over the resume revelations.

"Why are they allowing Shenzhen to fly? Why are they allowed to do business if they have over 100 fake pilots?" said a posting on Sina.com.

However, the lack of a major disaster for six years despite head-spinning growth indicates China has done a "brilliant job on safety," said Sydney-based aviation analyst Derek Sadubin.

"They have had rapid growth over the past decade and have been trouble-free, basically. They have a safety record that is highly regarded," said Sadubin, of the Centre for Asia Pacific Aviation.

He added that Chinese carriers have continually upgraded their fleet, giving them one of the newest collections of planes in the world.

http://www.google.com/hostednews/afp/article/ALeqM5iNb3r6hPJpCAXXdkZ6d_hPwp1Rjg

[SoBeIt]

Reading the news now.. and cannot hold myself not to post on this thread..

Soldiers took body parts as trophies, court hears

By North America correspondent Lisa Millar and wires

Updated 7 hours 24 minutes ago

A group of US soldiers charged with the murder of civilians in Afghanistan allegedly took parts of their bodies as trophies.

The five US soldiers were allegedly involved in the murders of three Afghan men earlier this year.

Military documents show they have been accused of taking photos of the bodies before taking fingers, leg bones and a skull as souvenirs.

The souvenirs were later discovered among their possessions.

The soldiers from the 5th Stryker Brigade, based in Washington state, deployed to Kandahar province a year ago and the murders occurred between January and March, according to charges by army prosecutors made public this week.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/09/10/3007912.htm

How sick is that!!!!!!

[SoBeIt]

Japan says more than 230,000 centenarians listed as alive are in fact missing or dead

TOKYO – TOKYO (AP) — More than 230,000 Japanese citizens listed in government records as at least 100 years old can't be found and may have died long ago, according to a government survey released Friday.

In August, the Justice Ministry ordered a review of records that found about 77,000 people who would be at least 120, and 884 people who would be 150 or older. The head count followed a flurry of reports about how elderly people are falling through the cracks in Japan as its population ages rapidly and family ties weaken.

In all, the survey of family registration records nationwide found that 234,354 centenarians were still listed as alive, but their whereabouts were unknown, the ministry said.

http://www.foxnews.com/world/2010/09/10/japan-says-centenarians-listed-alive-fact-missing-dead/

[Admin_2]

Japs... the weirdest people on earth.

Ha, you're right!

Second to them are those freaky Americans...hey...wait a minute!!

[English_Bob]

Japs... the weirdest people on earth.

Ha, you're right!

Second to them are those freaky Americans...hey...wait a minute!!

Well, if anyone would know it'd be you.

What does your therapist say about your REAL reason for playing the cello?

[Admin_2]

Japs... the weirdest people on earth.

Ha, you're right!

Second to them are those freaky Americans...hey...wait a minute!!

Well, if anyone would know it'd be you.

What does your therapist say about your REAL reason for playing the cello?

I like the vibrations right below my belly button.

[Stramash]

I'm downloading the Qur'an from an ebook site. I've got a slow connection but it should be done by Saturday.

I'm putting it on disk, if anyone wants one I can burn a few copies

[DANNO]

Japan says more than 230,000 centenarians listed as alive are in fact missing or dead

TOKYO – TOKYO (AP) — More than 230,000 Japanese citizens listed in government records as at least 100 years old can't be found and may have died long ago, according to a government survey released Friday.

In August, the Justice Ministry ordered a review of records that found about 77,000 people who would be at least 120, and 884 people who would be 150 or older. The head count followed a flurry of reports about how elderly people are falling through the cracks in Japan as its population ages rapidly and family ties weaken.

In all, the survey of family registration records nationwide found that 234,354 centenarians were still listed as alive, but their whereabouts were unknown, the ministry said.

http://www.foxnews.com/world/2010/09/10/japan-says-centenarians-listed-alive-fact-missing-dead/

Yeah heard about this on NPR today... a guy who was suppose to be the old living man in Japan recently was discover to have been dead for years---while the family continued collecting his pension check ---guess the "grim Reaper is revisiting the family again in the form of ...zee police!

[koolbreez]

Reading the news now.. and cannot hold myself not to post on this thread..

Soldiers took body parts as trophies, court hears

By North America correspondent Lisa Millar and wires

Updated 7 hours 24 minutes ago

A group of US soldiers charged with the murder of civilians in Afghanistan allegedly took parts of their bodies as trophies.

The five US soldiers were allegedly involved in the murders of three Afghan men earlier this year.

Military documents show they have been accused of taking photos of the bodies before taking fingers, leg bones and a skull as souvenirs.

The souvenirs were later discovered among their possessions.

The soldiers from the 5th Stryker Brigade, based in Washington state, deployed to Kandahar province a year ago and the murders occurred between January and March, according to charges by army prosecutors made public this week.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/09/10/3007912.htm

How sick is that!!!!!!

This happened quite a few times during the Vietnam war. Ears, and teeth, were a common souvenir, especially with the LRPs.

[SoBeIt]

This happened quite a few times during the Vietnam war. Ears, and teeth, were a common souvenir, especially with the LRPs.

Really? :shock:

I was too young for the Vietnam war..

"Common souvenir"? ... Oh that sounds lovely..

"Hey honey! As I was away from home for sometimes,

Now Im back with a gift for you..

You wanna try the Vietnamese teeth necklaces?"

Is that sick or is that sick?

:?

[drlovelife8]

This happened quite a few times during the Vietnam war. Ears, and teeth, were a common souvenir, especially with the LRPs.

Really? :shock:

I was too young for the Vietnam war..

"Common souvenir"? ... Oh that sounds lovely..

"Hey honey! As I was away from home for sometimes,

Now Im back with a gift for you..

You wanna try the Vietnamese teeth necklaces?"

Is that sick or is that sick?

:?

If they have gold teeth, take em!

[Stramash]

Hijackers Surprised To Find Selves In Hell

AHANNEM, OUTER DARKNESS—The hijackers who carried out the Sept. 11 attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon expressed confusion and surprise Monday to find themselves in the lowest plane of Na'ar, Islam's Hell.

.

"I was promised I would spend eternity in Paradise, being fed honeyed cakes by 67 virgins in a tree-lined garden, if only I would fly the airplane into one of the Twin Towers," said Mohammed Atta, one of the hijackers of American Airlines Flight 11, between attempts to vomit up the wasps, hornets, and live coals infesting his stomach. "But instead, I am fed the boiling feces of traitors by malicious, laughing Ifrit. Is this to be my reward for destroying the enemies of my faith?"

The rest of Atta's words turned to raw-throated shrieks, as a tusked, asp-tongued demon burst his eyeballs and drank the fluid that ran down his face.

According to Hell sources, the 19 eternally damned terrorists have struggled to understand why they have been subjected to soul-withering, infernal torture ever since their Sept. 11 arrival.

"There was a tumultuous conflagration of burning steel and fuel at our gates, and from it stepped forth these hijackers, the blessed name of the Lord already turning to molten brass on their accursed lips," said Iblis The Thrice-Damned, the cacodemon charged with conscripting new arrivals into the ranks of the forgotten. "Indeed, I do not know what they were expecting, but they certainly didn't seem prepared to be skewered from eye socket to bunghole and then placed on a spit so that their flesh could be roasted by the searing gale of flatus which issues forth from the haunches of Asmoday."

"Which is strange when you consider the evil with which they ended their lives and those of so many others," added Iblis, absentmindedly twisting the limbs of hijacker Abdul Aziz Alomari into unspeakably obscene shapes.

"I was told that these Americans were enemies of the one true religion, and that Heaven would be my reward for my noble sacrifice," said Alomari, moments before his jaw was sheared away by faceless homunculi. "But now I am forced to suckle from the 16 poisoned leathern teats of Gophahmet, ***** of Betrayal, until I burst from an unwholesome engorgement of curdled bile. This must be some sort of terrible mistake."

Exacerbating the terrorists' tortures, which include being hollowed out and used as prophylactics by thorn-cocked Gulbuth The Rampant, is the fact that they will be forced to endure such suffering in sight of the Paradise they were expecting.

"It might actually be the most painful thing we can do, to show these murderers the untold pleasures that would have awaited them in Paradise, if only they had lived pious lives," said Praxitas, Duke of Those Willingly Led Astray. "I mean, it's tough enough being forced through a wire screen by the callused palms of Halcorym and then having your entrails wound onto a stick and fed to the toothless, foul-breathed swine of Gehenna. But to endure that while watching the righteous drink from a river of wine? That can't be fun."

Underworld officials said they have not yet decided on a permanent punishment for the terrorists.

"Eventually, we'll settle on an eternal and unending task for them," said Lord Androalphus, High Praetor of Excruciations. "But for now, everyone down here wants a crack at them. The legions of fang-wombed hags will take their pleasure on their shattered carcasses for most of this afternoon. Tomorrow, their flesh will be melted from their bones like wax in the burning embrace of the Mother of Cowards. The day after that, they'll be sodomized by the Fallen and their bowels shredded by a demonic ejaculate of burning sand. Then, on Sunday, Satan gets them all day. I can't even imagine what he's got cooked up for them."

http://www.theonion.com/articles/hijackers-surprised-to-find-selves-in-hell,1445/

If only this story were true and these idiots who believe what they are told by the twisted mullahs realised they were all going to hell...