I want to thanks to all comments that cheer me up and give me some idea from my last journal. (the moment)

Oh especially CiaranM?s comment, of course. I love your sweet question:

CiaranM: so has Mr. Kiwi shagged soda yet???

Answer: no, he hasn?t yet, darling

Ms. Perfect called after read my journal said ?you see now what men think. I want you to keep in mind that men are men but I still take your side coz we are women?. Then I turn off my mobile all day. I don?t want to talk to anyone; I just wanted to be alone. Tear in my eyes but I know I have to stop thinking of Mr. Kiwi. I have to?..After work I back home and try to eat but I can?t. I dragged my guitar into bed room and kept myself locked inside. I strumming my guitar for an hour, then I lie in bed with tears for 2-3 hrs until I sleep.

Yesterday morning my alarm clock woke me up at 7.30 AM. I?m so tired and don?t want to do anything. I?m about to water the plants and was frightening when I saw some plants are withering even still green-blue look. Just like dead alive. I was jumping up and down, thinking what was wrong, running back and forth.

In the afternoon Mr. Grizzly call asking if everything is alright and I tell him the truth.

Mr. Grizzly: Oh no, my plants need only energy people being around. You kill my plants.

Me: I don?t know what to do. Everything happens so fast, and I can?t control it.

Mr. Grizzly: you have to be patient and easy.

10 mins to 3 PM there is another call I thought that's my cousin who wants to know details. I look at the phone..oh it was him. I answer the caller; I have to tell him what I feel but not all of what I feel, anyway.

I?ve never afraid of anything in my life but my spontaneous. now I?m closing my eyes and ready to jump from the tower. I don?t want to think of anything; I choose to trust my instinct. I?d like to give it a try, and if it fail when I?m 45 years old. And if I?m still single and alive, I?ll buy myself a man *****.

I?m not sexy woman and I?ll not try to be. I like to hug or hold u that doesn?t mean I want sex.

I love the sound of guitar because it?s like my moods and emotions.

I love the sound of drum stick, while it beating the drum. Its mean power and strength driving me to do something

Don't need to response to Mr.CiranM all the time ...I'm sure he can figured things out anyway

Poor mr.Grizzly 's plant btw 555

My Grizzly's plants probably just need extra water because of the heat. Even green plants will droop when the weather is very hot.

No pain, no gain. Cheer up!!!

Patient and take it easy !!!!! Mr. Grizzly was right !!!! and enjoy it !!!

I don't see anything difficult, of course im not wearing ur shoes ( and has just taken off my 5 inches ) but at least you've got something to do ( fix the plants, think of someone..etc ) and a journal to write for someone nosy and jerky like me to read and leave a comment !!!

Cheer up, Soda.

Love is like a river, It follows it's own course

If it floods your fertile plains, you are blessed.

If not, you will just have to learn to wait your turn.

Just remember Buddha said, Desire causes Pain

Man whores are an up and coming trend.

Posted by Admin [ 24 April 2009 | 3:50PM ]

Man whores are an up and coming trend.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

said the spokesman of www.menforsale.com

The "man *****" alternative is best!

But hugs are free, if that's all u need.

i love the sound of mr grizzly's plants growing

you did it good and Mr.Kiwi happy with the way you are Darling do not thinking too much ja

well if u haven't shagged him ... have u at least given him a BJ ???

I?d like to give it a try, and if it fail when I?m 45 years old. And if I?m still single and alive, I?ll buy myself a man *****.

.......

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Thing in its time ....

The only one you'd do is...listen to your heart ja

Do wot you love you'll love wot you do.

Have a best luck!

Don't......don't......ever buy yourself a man *****........they can't cook......wash dishes......or make the bed......they just complain.....xxx

play some guitar to mr grizzly's plants and when you leave the apt always leave a cd playing. that way they will be happy little plants when he comes back!!!

and just ignore that nasty Ciaran - he's just jealous cos last time he had sex it was still the 20th century!!!

men are men..if you try to catch him more, he will try to run away from you more..Love like a game sometimes. Why u don't play game with him back?? Just stay quiet and behave like u disappear from his life.. Don't scare ..You have nothing to lose.. Try to meet new people and collect many nice men .. I meant just being their friendships first and u will find new love again. Please don't blame yourself, you should love yourself first.. Then soemone can love you back.. Play the game with him, find a new man behind him .. its very fun to cheat him back too... LOL Try to to do it ...

Soda: life is a mystery. Sometimes the more you want something, the more impossible it becomes. I understand for all of us, at some point in life we are 'panicing' - afraid of not achieving something, and one day (in the near future) the possibility to achieve that something will be impossible because of getting too old, the object is not there anymore, your life or your surroundings has changed too much, etc. etc.

These types of worries typically stop us in enjoying life at it fullest. Instead of enjoying your family, your friends, your guitar, your good job and I don't know how many other things, you waste your energy with your thinking about what you don't have. It's called negative thinking, and many ppl can sense it (yes we radiate what we think!) - and sometimes it will cause someone to stay away from you, or certain things will NOT happen because you make your choices as a conclusion of the way you think.

Now as what I know about you is that you are a happy person with a lot of potential for a good life. Don't waste it!

I don't say it's easy - but at some point, we ALL have to learn how much influence our way of thinking has on our lives. Someone already know it from early age, some others go through their life without learning anything whatsoever. Why not start now?

That's my 2 baht :-)

Mr Kiwi had to go upcountry for a shag coz you wouldn't let him have his wicked way lol

follow your istinct and don t have regrets in your life.

good luck

damit im always missed it!!!!!