Wai shake hands?

[Admin_2]

With the swine flu getting passed around, and masks being worn in crowded places, it makes you think twice when shaking hands with people during this time.

Bowing or the wai seem like good alternatives, though I can't see western culture ever moving away from the handshake.

The article below brings up this point, but before we get into that...

What do you prefer? Don't be biased with what you grew up with.

The handshake is great because actually touching the other person helps one to understand if the person is aggressive, nervous, confident, etc... The wai is great as you can show different levels of respect depending on how you wai.

Among other things, there are many positives and negatives to both greetings. Anyway, vote away...and here is the article:

"A few weeks ago, I met a construction worker who was immersed in a big sewer project. His hands, like his coveralls, were dark with grime. But he was a friendly guy, and we had just been introduced, and I didn?t want to be rude. So I did what we?ve all been conditioned to do since childhood: I thrust my right hand out to meet his for a good shake.

After looking at his filthy hands, he shot me a quizzical look, as if to say, ?You can?t be serious.? Then he extended his comparatively clean right forearm. I grabbed onto it and shook, and we both smiled.

A couple of days earlier, my wife and I had been sitting around our kitchen table with some friends who all have kids the same ages. The talk naturally drifted to the fears swirling around swine flu and how common cases of sniffles and scratchy throats were automatically subjecting schoolchildren to seven-day sentences at home, a practice sure to continue now that we?re in summer-camp season. While some of the parents complained about over-reaction, one of the dads took a different tack. Isn?t it time, he asked, to retire the handshake?

My mind flashed back to that comment the moment my hand clutched the construction worker?s forearm. This worker clearly recognized the absurdity of putting politeness over common sense. Why didn?t I? With everything we now know about germs, about the ferocity with which trouble travels via hand-to-hand contact, why do we feel obligated to soldier on with this centuries-old tradition?

It?s not clear exactly why and when the handshake became our default in-person greeting. The most common explanation is that it was how a man, upon meeting another, could establish that neither was carrying a weapon. The practice dates at least to the Middle Ages, though some archeological evidence suggests it?s much older than that. We long ago stopped using leeches to drain the blood of the ill and spices to hide the stink of rancid meat. Yet for some reason this medieval ritual persists.

It?s especially true in the business world. Elaine Eisenman, the dean of executive education at Babson College, says that?s because the handshake is both a traditional greeting and a quick, unobtrusive way of sizing someone up. Does this person you?re contemplating doing business with have a firm, honest grip or a sweaty, flabby one? She says that when women like her were first entering management ranks, they learned to master the handshake. No wonder hers is as firm as a two-by-four.

Last month, swine flu officially became a pandemic. Public health officials have said so-called ?social distancing? strategies -- sharply reducing contact with others -- have proved most effective in slowing the spread of previous outbreaks, such as the 1918 flu pandemic. And they told us to cut down on our handshakes as much as we could. Northeastern University heeded the advice, asking its graduates not to shake hands when receiving their diplomas during the school?s commencement ceremony in May.

The World Health Organization has been dusting off an earlier campaign to get people to drop the handshake in favor of an elbow bump. Good luck with that. Eisenman does a lot of international travel for Babson and has observed more global businesspeople shaking hands, even in Asia, where the bow has traditionally enjoyed a big edge. She says she?s had the same thought every time she has watched people gamely attempting an elbow bump: ?They look moronic.?

Barack Obama?s campaign workers popularized the fist bump as a sort of hygienic secret handshake. But since Obama entered the White House, we haven?t seen much of it from him. In fact, after moving from hipsters to boomers, the fist bump now feels as dated as the electric slide. And so the search for a sensible replacement goes on.

Earlier this year, Brad Feld launched a campaign he called No More Handshakes in ?09. The MIT-trained high-tech entrepreneur was determined to stay healthy throughout cold-and-flu season. The results? Well, I?ll let him tell it. ?My campaign was a total failure. I found that I was having the same conversation over and over, explaining why I wasn?t shaking hands. I got tired of it and decided it was easier to just shake everyone?s hands and then wash mine a bunch throughout the day.?

And, yes, he ended up with a nasty spring cold."

http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/magazine/articles/2009/07/19/let_the_handshake_meet_an_end/

[inamorato25]

OK, I guess since only two people have voted so far, I might as well admit that I'm the idiot who chose "pour beer over each other." Excellent poll, Rob. Laughed out loud at the choices.

Regarding the shaking hands thing, you're more likely to get a cold from pressing an elevator button with fresh-squeezed sneeze on it than from a handshake (with the notable exception of the guy in the story with the sewer grime covered hands, in which case you're more likely to pick up something much worse involving a bunch of fecal coliforms or other shitty bacteria.) So I don't think it's a huge problem as long as you wash your hands before rubbing your eyes, or digging your finger into your nose up to the 2nd knuckle.

Here in Japan, I lean towards hand shaking. First, as you wrote, I think the human contact creates a stronger bond than the obsequious bowing they do here. Plus, I think there's nothing more idiotic looking than a gaijin (the local version of a farang) doing a waist deep bow upon meeting somebody, unless they are actually helping to locate a lost contact lens. And I've thought the same when I see farang in Thailand going a bit overboard with the wais. Just creeps me out a bit. Having said that, I bow when it's a formal meeting, but still, I try not to overdo it.

Generally, the foreigners here adopt a kind of half bow that is not trying to be "too Japanese" (which the Japanese typically say they prefer). You're giving a Japanese greeting, but not trying to bow deeper than Mr. Suzuki in accounting with the bad comb-over. I've seen farang in Thailand do the same -- a Wai -- but not with too much pomp and circumstance. Enough to be polite and culturally sensitive -- but not to the point of being a wank.

And interestingly -- when done well -- the Japanese / Thai will often then turn around and shake your hand anyway. How cool is that, eh! 8)

[Admin_2]

Some good points there.

As far as the wai goes, I don't understand it fully. I can explain almost everything about it, including how it's used, when it's used, when it shouldn't be used...but I still find myself in awkward situations not knowing if I should wai or not...

The easy part is when someone wais me (other than someone in a store or restaurant). Then I know that I should usually wai back, and I know the correct level. The hard part comes when meeting new people that are slightly older than I am, especially in business settings. That 30-40 range gets me everytime. Thais generally look younger than they really are, so I wait to see if they will wai me first, when I realize that I should have probably wai'd them, it's too late...so I stick my hand out to shake hands, and give that silly "I'm just a farang" smile.

My staff were overloaded today with FotoBook, so I ended up taking cash from a customer today to put in the True cash register. The lady was about 45, and I wai'd before accepting the cash...which I think was the right thing to do. She almost dropped everything she had to immediately give a deep wai back. Even though I think that was the right thing to do, it still made both of us uncomfortable. Regardless, I think Thais do really appreciate a genuine effort when it comes to the wai. I just don't think I'll ever be able to do it properly.

(this all must sound so juvenile and silly for Thais to read this...lol)

[eagle]

Since people don't wash their hands as much as would be preffered and often cough in the hand before shaking hands with someone I think the wai would be good to universally adopt. I have white friends in the states who use it just due to their affinity to Buddhism.

[trocks69]

according to your poll more people seem to want to pour beer on each pother. me personally you can pour it doun my throat. why waste a good beer on my hair and cloths.

well thought out subject and initial responses also

i personally just do small bows or wais.

and i will shake any working mans hand no matter how dirty its is. i grew up working with my hands and i still do. its honest dirt on a man that is most likely very honest.

[Admin_2]

Since people don't wash their hands as much as would be preffered and often cough in the hand before shaking hands with someone I think the wai would be good to universally adopt. I have white friends in the states who use it just due to their affinity to Buddhism.

I had to go with the wai as well. Though I do think the handshake is better for sizing people up, you'll still be able to learn all you need to know by just talking with the person...and who knows where their hands have been.

:shock:

[beej]

according to your poll more people seem to want to pour beer on each pother. me personally you can pour it doun my throat. why waste a good beer on my hair and cloths.

well thought out subject and initial responses also

i personally just do small bows or wais.

and i will shake any working mans hand no matter how dirty its is. i grew up working with my hands and i still do. its honest dirt on a man that is most likely very honest.

What if that working man is a Gay porn star and its covered in jizz?

[Mister Moobs]

I think society is getting too sterile. We're afraid of germs to the point that we have overdone it. Gone off the deep end.

I travel in some of the dirtiest places on the planet. I've drank from a common bowl of water with Afghans. I've showered in their showers. Used their disgusting restrooms. I've shook hands with them when they are sick and when they are not. I shake hands with guys out digging ditches and at the airports who are searching hundreds of folks a day.

I eat food from kitchens the site alone of which would make many folks sick.

I usually wash before I eat. But sometimes, there just isn't anywhere to wash and there is no hand cleaner around.

I rarely get sick.

My Momma carries that anti-bacterial hand cleaner around with her. She is very conscious of what and who and where she is touching and makes sure that she washes before she eats. She will refuse to eat in places that seem to dirty. She does all that things that should keep her healthy in so far as cold prevention and the like.

She is sick quite frequently.

Matter of fact, everyone whom I know who is freaked out by germs and hand shaking and who is into that anti-bacterial hand cleaner, no hand shaking hysteria is sick much, much more often than am I.

All of this nonsense is keeping us from building natural immunities to all of these different strains of viruses and bacteria. That's simply my personal opinion. I've got no science to back it up.

I can eat off the street in Phnom Penh, Kabul, Kuala Lumpur, Da Nang, Hanoi, Cairo. I even ate in some not so groovy looking places in India. My travel mate got sick as a dog. I didn't feel a thing.

We are weakening ourselves with all of this paranoia about germs. The whole damn world seems to be going OCD.

[eagle]

JD wrote:

I think society is getting too sterile. We're afraid of germs to the point that we have overdone it. Gone off the deep end.

I agree but at the same time better safe then sorry. A strong immune system is the best defense against germs but good habits are a good idea.

[trocks69]

according to your poll more people seem to want to pour beer on each pother. me personally you can pour it doun my throat. why waste a good beer on my hair and cloths.

well thought out subject and initial responses also

i personally just do small bows or wais.

and i will shake any working mans hand no matter how dirty its is. i grew up working with my hands and i still do. its honest dirt on a man that is most likely very honest.

What if that working man is a Gay porn star and its covered in jizz?

where the hell do you hang out at??? the fluffer on a porn set is not my idea of a person to be anywhere close to. much less a gay porn set

[CiaranM]

according to your poll more people seem to want to pour beer on each pother. me personally you can pour it doun my throat. why waste a good beer on my hair and cloths.

well thought out subject and initial responses also

i personally just do small bows or wais.

and i will shake any working mans hand no matter how dirty its is. i grew up working with my hands and i still do. its honest dirt on a man that is most likely very honest.

What if that working man is a Gay porn star and its covered in jizz?

where the hell do you hang out at??? the fluffer on a porn set is not my idea of a person to be anywhere close to. much less a gay porn set

all the gay porn stars beej knows r very honest !!!

[Mister Moobs]

lol

[Admin_2]

according to your poll more people seem to want to pour beer on each pother. me personally you can pour it doun my throat. why waste a good beer on my hair and cloths.

well thought out subject and initial responses also

i personally just do small bows or wais.

and i will shake any working mans hand no matter how dirty its is. i grew up working with my hands and i still do. its honest dirt on a man that is most likely very honest.

What if that working man is a Gay porn star and its covered in jizz?

where the hell do you hang out at??? the fluffer on a porn set is not my idea of a person to be anywhere close to. much less a gay porn set

all the gay porn stars beej knows r very honest !!!

Very straight forward...in some ways.

[Stramash]

the thing with hand shaking is that skin is a soft surface, and thus viruses such as swine flu last a very short time there. So, unless the recipient of your handshake has recently covered his mouth to sneeze, or picked his nose etc, the chances of transmission via handshake are relatively low compared to from hard surfaces such as worktops or door handles.

(do I get a bonus for 8000 being sensible?)

[CiaranM]

the thing with hand shaking is that skin is a soft surface, and thus viruses such as swine flu last a very short time there. So, unless the recipient of your handshake has recently covered his mouth to sneeze, or picked his nose etc, the chances of transmission via handshake are relatively low compared to from hard surfaces such as worktops or door handles.

(do I get a bonus for 8000 being sensible?)

so what if he's a gay porn star who's been wanking off other guys ??

only asking like !!!!!!!!!!!

[Stramash]

the thing with hand shaking is that skin is a soft surface, and thus viruses such as swine flu last a very short time there. So, unless the recipient of your handshake has recently covered his mouth to sneeze, or picked his nose etc, the chances of transmission via handshake are relatively low compared to from hard surfaces such as worktops or door handles.

(do I get a bonus for 8000 being sensible?)

so what if he's a gay porn star who's been wanking off other guys ??

only asking like !!!!!!!!!!!

is that a note of worry I detect?

:twisted:

[trocks69]

the thing with hand shaking is that skin is a soft surface, and thus viruses such as swine flu last a very short time there. So, unless the recipient of your handshake has recently covered his mouth to sneeze, or picked his nose etc, the chances of transmission via handshake are relatively low compared to from hard surfaces such as worktops or door handles.

(do I get a bonus for 8000 being sensible?)

so what if he's a gay porn star who's been wanking off other guys ??

only asking like !!!!!!!!!!!

is that a note of worry I detect?

:twisted:

he might be the fluffer i was talking about...please wash the jizz off before you get off work C

[Stramash]

the thing with hand shaking is that skin is a soft surface, and thus viruses such as swine flu last a very short time there. So, unless the recipient of your handshake has recently covered his mouth to sneeze, or picked his nose etc, the chances of transmission via handshake are relatively low compared to from hard surfaces such as worktops or door handles.

(do I get a bonus for 8000 being sensible?)

so what if he's a gay porn star who's been wanking off other guys ??

only asking like !!!!!!!!!!!

is that a note of worry I detect?

:twisted:

he might be the fluffer i was talking about...please wash the jizz off before you get off work C

would explain his love of beer; to wash away the taste and the undiluted Catholic guilt!!

[Admin_2]

the thing with hand shaking is that skin is a soft surface, and thus viruses such as swine flu last a very short time there. So, unless the recipient of your handshake has recently covered his mouth to sneeze, or picked his nose etc, the chances of transmission via handshake are relatively low compared to from hard surfaces such as worktops or door handles.

(do I get a bonus for 8000 being sensible?)

That's one thing that is pretty gross about internet cafes. I highly doubt they ever wash those keyboards...even at most offices keyboards rarely get cleaned. My laptop gets cleaned whenever I spill something on it.

[beej]

I like to spit on my hand before I shake someones hand normally.

[digitalcat]

I like to spit on my hand before I shake someones hand normally.

ill wai to u next time we hang out

[PeeMarc]

I like to spit on my hand before I shake someones hand normally.

yeah. Thats a true grit handshake, right there, that is.

[GoodKarma]

I like to spit on my hand before I shake someones hand normally.

yeah. Thats a true grit handshake, right there, that is.

what about all those people after using the restroom that don't wash their hands. that really grosses me out..theres no wonder why we have all these different flu's going around :evil:

[Admin_2]

I like to spit on my hand before I shake someones hand normally.

yeah. Thats a true grit handshake, right there, that is.

what about all those people after using the restroom that don't wash their hands. that really grosses me out..theres no wonder why we have all these different flu's going around :evil:

What's next. hot dog and beans flu??

:shock:

[Stramash]

the thing with hand shaking is that skin is a soft surface, and thus viruses such as swine flu last a very short time there. So, unless the recipient of your handshake has recently covered his mouth to sneeze, or picked his nose etc, the chances of transmission via handshake are relatively low compared to from hard surfaces such as worktops or door handles.

(do I get a bonus for 8000 being sensible?)

That's one thing that is pretty gross about internet cafes. I highly doubt they ever wash those keyboards...even at most offices keyboards rarely get cleaned. My laptop gets cleaned whenever I spill something on it.

please define 'spill'

:twisted: