Shooting's too good for 'em!

[English_Bob]

There have been a few rants recently... Bodai's boss, Rob's wasted afternoon.

I also vent my spleen about assholes on a regular basis (but usually face to face or in the forums!)

The last few days I ran into a handful of people who deliberately pissed me off and almost turned me back to the Dark Side.

So, who pisses you off? No need to name names. Not intended for 'I hate poofs' or 'Can't stand Arabs'... this is about individuals who you want to vent about...

Shooting's too good for 'em...

[English_Bob]

You missed the point...

Gotta find something better than 3 bullets.

Shooting's too good for 'em.

[Stramash]

You missed the point...

Gotta find something better than 3 bullets.

Shooting's too good for 'em.

Molten metal up the arsehole?

[Bodai]

Molten metal up the arsehole?

That'll do it.

How about inserting a glass rod into the urethra and bashing it with a hammer?

[Stramash]

That'll do it.

How about inserting a glass rod into the urethra and bashing it with a hammer?

Now that's a plan

[Bodai]

iSecond on that

well, the catch is that it takes a **** load to get me to that point.... you buy the first ten rounds and I'll buy the next 20.

I'll be back in December.

[Teila]

well, the catch is that it takes a **** load to get me to that point.... you buy the first ten rounds and I'll buy the next 20.

I'll be back in December.

How about we just ply ya with a concoction of Absinthe & Ouzo?? Shouldn't take too many of those to get anyone pissed. lol

[English_Bob]

I was riding down the soi on my motorbike.

There was an Indian guy walking in the road, about 3 feet from the pavement. He was walking away from me and not looking.

As I was almost passing him he took 2 steps further into the road - right in front of my bike. I couldn't go round him because of the traffic. I had to slam on the brakes and sound the horn. He still didn't move, just meandered down the centre of the road. I was forced to pass him on the left, between him and the pavement.

As I continued on my way, he shouted something at me. So I stopped.

'What did you say?'

'I said why are you going at such a speed?'

'How do you know what speed I was doing? You were looking in the wrong direction. AND YOU'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ******* ROAD!!!'

Fuckwad.

Seriously, shooting's too good for 'em.

[Teila]

I had to really think about the last time someone made my blood boil.

My ex fiance's mother was an ignorant, small-minded racist *****.

I guess I can stop there.................but I won't. lol. (Sorry, It's kinda long)

My ex fiance was an Army bloke so for a while we lived in Birmingham (with his parents)

I paid her (a lot of) rent, bought my own food..etc..basically paid for myself.

Every ******* day - She would try to start arguments, make comments & she would say the most stupid things when she thought I couldn't hear & also the area we lived in was one of those small "everyone knows your business" type, so I also got wind of things she had said to other people.

For instance....I was in the shower. My ex fiance, & his parents were sitting in the conservatory having a heated discussion. When I switched the water off I heard his ***** of a mother say "If you & HER have kids........they'll be black. Do you want to have black kids!? How will you live with yourself?" (FYI - I'm mixed & my ex fiance was white. It'd be pretty impossible to have a 'proper' black kid. lol)

Another time....We had all (me, him, his parents, younger sister, older brother & bro's gf) gone out to a restaurant for my ex fiance's birthday. I was on my way back from the toilet & heard her telling them all how I'm obviously a slut & cheating on him because I sometimes wear thongs! (I wear them when I wear certain trousers & skirts & don't wanna have Visible Panty Line. lol)

After months & months of this **** my self esteem was shot to pieces, I had no confidence etc.

One day....I was shattered, one of my work colleagues had left that day (she was also a good friend so it had been quite sad) & I just was not in the mood for any ****.

As soon as I walked in, FuckFace started her ****. I could feel myself getting to the end of my tether so I called my best friend (in London) & (bless her) she straight away told me to pack my stuff. She drove from London to Birmingham to pick me up.

The sour faced cow peered through the curtains the whole time I was putting my stuff in the boot of the car.

As I was walking with the last suitcase towards the car....she shouted out "Good Riddance you *****! There's no black in the Union Jack"

I pretty much flipped & swung my suitcase at 2 of the windows of her Land Rover causing them to shatter. (oohh! the sound was fantastic & her face was a picture!)

If she had been outside & close enough I'd would've swung it her face!

My best friend quickly grabbed the suitcase off me, dumped it in her car & shoved me in to it at the same time. LOL

[CiaranM]

how the hell did u stay so long in a house with an evil ***** like that ??? shooting is too good for her !!! lol !!!

[bigKus]

When I went outside to clear their table, I found they had vandalised the menu sign outside! I got on my motorbike and rode up and down the soi looking at all the street bars to find them. Seriously, I let them scam me because I didn't care. I didn't say anything about their ******* 7-11 Chang beer cans. But then to damage my property for spite really pissed me off.

I'm still on the lookout for them. If they can't afford 4 baht service charge, I know they can't afford medical insurance. A night in hospital for one or two of them will **** up the rest of their holiday for sure.

Stop looking for them, its actually me & sue did that.., sorry we were drunk. you can blame your cheap charley's drinks

[English_Bob]

I had to really think about the last time someone made my blood boil.

My ex fiance's mother was an ignorant, small-minded racist *****.

I guess I can stop there.................but I won't. lol. (Sorry, It's kinda long)

My ex fiance was an Army bloke so for a while we lived in Birmingham (with his parents)

I paid her (a lot of) rent, bought my own food..etc..basically paid for myself.

Every ******* day - She would try to start arguments, make comments & she would say the most stupid things when she thought I couldn't hear & also the area we lived in was one of those small "everyone knows your business" type, so I also got wind of things she had said to other people.

For instance....I was in the shower. My ex fiance, & his parents were sitting in the conservatory having a heated discussion. When I switched the water off I heard his ***** of a mother say "If you & HER have kids........they'll be black. Do you want to have black kids!? How will you live with yourself?" (FYI - I'm mixed & my ex fiance was white. It'd be pretty impossible to have a 'proper' black kid. lol)

Another time....We had all (me, him, his parents, younger sister, older brother & bro's gf) gone out to a restaurant for my ex fiance's birthday. I was on my way back from the toilet & heard her telling them all how I'm obviously a slut & cheating on him because I sometimes wear thongs! (I wear them when I wear certain trousers & skirts & don't wanna have Visible Panty Line. lol)

After months & months of this **** my self esteem was shot to pieces, I had no confidence etc.

One day....I was shattered, one of my work colleagues had left that day (she was also a good friend so it had been quite sad) & I just was not in the mood for any ****.

As soon as I walked in, FuckFace started her ****. I could feel myself getting to the end of my tether so I called my best friend (in London) & (bless her) she straight away told me to pack my stuff. She drove from London to Birmingham to pick me up.

The sour faced cow peered through the curtains the whole time I was putting my stuff in the boot of the car.

As I was walking with the last suitcase towards the car....she shouted out "Good Riddance you *****! There's no black in the Union Jack"

I pretty much flipped & swung my suitcase at 2 of the windows of her Land Rover causing them to shatter. (oohh! the sound was fantastic & her face was a picture!)

If she had been outside & close enough I'd would've swung it her face!

My best friend quickly grabbed the suitcase off me, dumped it in her car & shoved me in to it at the same time. LOL

Perfect!!

I have a house in Birmingham. I know these people!

Shooting's too good for 'em!

[English_Bob]

Stop looking for them, its actually me & sue did that.., sorry we were drunk. you can blame your cheap charley's drinks

lol - Actually on Sunday you were very well-behaved! I was worried for a while - I thought you were sick!

[Dave40]

People who visit Thailand and have no consideration for their hotel guests if you want to bring a bargirl back to your hotel at 4 30 in the morning make sure you have money to pay her negotiate the price before hand and for pete's sake make sure they are a girl if you are a hetro!!!!!

Bloody Aussie Tourists!!! Shoot Em!!!!

[CiaranM]

Perfect!!

I have a house in Birmingham. I know these people!

Shooting's too good for 'em!

i've been to Birminghan .... there's lots of ***** like this there !!!

[pandorea]

I think my neighbor fits in this thread, perfectly. http://www.thailandfriends.com/entry.php/41509-My-strange-neighbour

Yesterday he came knocked on my door again and he was talking crap about the fencing. He saw me left the house on that day, I still don't get it why he came into my property when I wasn't home. But never mind that. I reported the issue to the police and hopefully they will do something about it soon.

The funny thing was, he came to me and said that he knows that my husband and I are on drugs. I called my husband about it yesterday and we both laughed our asses off. Funny how he can come up with that kind of fantasy.

Anyway, we've decided that we will move. We don't want to associate or live nearby this kind.

[GoodKarma]

That'll do it.

How about inserting a glass rod into the urethra and bashing it with a hammer?

ouch!!

guys that is a very bad visual

[Bodai]

ouch!!

guys that is a very bad visual

That happened to my buddy. He had a really bad STD and the get it out of the urethra they inserted a glass rod with a scoop on the back, broke it and pulled it out. He was on pain meds for 2 weeks, he just sat and drooled the whole time.

[Bodai]

I didn't know whether to post this under Issan Princess of here... eventually I figured here since it's about a queen and not a princess.

MY BROTHER: Yes, he is blood and we look a lot alike, but that is where the similarities end. We are practically evil twins. Sure I love the guy, but the only thing keeping from putting one in his brain is that the bullets are more valuable than he is.

My brother is a house wife. His boyfriend (see, he's a queen) makes a lot of money (about $200,000 a year) and my brother just sits at home spending this money. There are many stories to tell, so it's hard to pick just a few. We grew up very very poor. Me, my brother, my sister, my mom, two cats and our dog grew up in a one bedroom apartment in a city called Opa Locka, FL (voted the highest crime city by the FBI in 2004). So you would think having two houses and 3 trucks would make him happy, but it doesn't. He spends his boyfriends entire paycheck every month, none if it goes to the bank. He has thousand dollar watches, a $6,000 laptop, 3 brand new trucks (including a Dodge Ram Daytona) and 4 cell phones. All he does is brag about everything he has. Sometime last year I remember him screaming at my mom because he found out that she has a hidden savings account that he didn't know about. I have no idea how he found out, but this wasn't any of his business. It was for her retirement. He stopped speaking to her for months.

Two years ago on Christmas my brother waited til everyones presents were opened before making a huge spectacle out of his gifts. Well, his gifts consisted of lavish IOU's that we never received. For example, he promised my mom and sister an all expenses paid cruise to Europe for 2 weeks. He thought everyone loved him for promising such amazing gifts, but as soon as he left the room we all sighed because we knew we would never get them. The rest of us were broke at the time and spent every last penny we had on gifts for each other. My brother spent ZERO and wanted all the credit.

A few months ago my brothers boyfriend (who works in Afghanistan for his gigantic paychecks) asked my brother to send him a couple thousand dollars because he lost his credit card. My brother than called my mom to borrow the money since he had spent all of his boyfriends. But my mom was in a bad place at the time, my step dad had just been laid off of work and my sister was only working part time. He had no idea that I was paying their mortgage (which she refuses to take until she had no choice). He got furious at my mom for not coughing up the money even though he had never given her a dime.

For my moms birthday this year I sent her the top end Kindle (3g, wifi all the bells and whistles). But my brother was at home when it came in the mail and somehow the package never arrived. Ironically my brother got her a cheap knock off called a "book reader". We are fairly sure he is now in possession of this book reader.

As a punishment to my brother, I would like to tie him up by the feet, hang him upside down and have an endless supply of homeless women rub their rotten crotches in his face.

[Teddy]

Damn Bodai, that's f**ked up. Would be hard not to slap him silly when you see him.

[English_Bob]

Wait... which one is the evil twin?

[Bodai]

Wait... which one is the evil twin?

Well... I kill people, but it's legitimate, he is just greedy.... ummmm... guess we're both evil.

[English_Bob]

Well... I kill people, but it's legitimate, he is just greedy.... ummmm... guess we're both evil.

That's OK.

I'm not prejudiced. Some of my best friends are cold-blooded killers.

[kaunitz]

I'm not fond of shooting. First, it makes noise, second, it makes a mess and third, it costs money every time. A rope is silent, does not ruin the carpet and can be re-used.

Like for the guy who is the majority owner of the place I'm living. Two years ago, the family who owned most of the property and with whom I got along well, sold their share to a Chinese. He now is trying to implement Chinese rules there including "I'm the boss and I say what's going on". I can understand that he rents out his flats to Chinese compatriots of him and that they are not able to speak German or English is also not the big problem for me. But he also thinks he can administer the building - without my consent. So last year, he put 2000 Euro on the running cost bill for "services for the house" that he either did not render at all or if, then only for the occupants of his flats as they are not able to communicate with people like aliens' police (we have them in the house at least once a week), chimney cleaner (it's mandatory in Vienna to get your heating systems checked by them = but he never was present dueing these appointments) or electricity meter readers. He also cut off some parts of the common areas in the basement and even from one corridor. So first rope for him because after several meetings with him, where he did nothing but lie, and also some correspondence, he didn't do anything to get things legal, still insisting he's right because he is the majority owner.

Second rope for the second minority owner apart of me whom of course I contacted in this matter and who answered me that the amount to pay (share of the 2000 Euro) is not so much and he paid it because he wanted peace in the house (When I told this to my parents, my father used words about him I will not post here).

So I am abroad now and try not to think about all this mess but once I am back, I will have to start a long and painstaking legal suit because I do not want this bugger to administer also my property as well as I want things go back to legal status. As I know now, it will take at least two years and only if I completely win, I will not have to pay anything for my lawyer (this will have to be done by the Chinese, but otherwise I will have to pay the full bill). So the idea of the glass rod in the urethra before hanging him is getting more and more attractive to me!

Edited June 1, 2011 by kaunitz

[simply_oriental]

Law! You really are a good guy brother.I respect this,a man who never left family behind no matter what.But for your brother i just say wow,You 2 had the same hard life,But see? only someone can deal with the life in the good way and the other not,But you love him anyway cause he is your own blood brother.I never doubt why you meditation so well.

[Teila]

I just came across a receipt & got a bit annoyed (again) lol.

Went to a Mexican restaurant in Silom on Wednesday night (Patty's Fiesta)

Everything was fine. food was fine, service until near the end was fine, staff that kept asking me & my friend for cigarettes was fine, the fact that they kept staaaaaring at us whilst we were eating was a bit uncomfortable but fine.

The thing that pissed us off was..........

We ordered 4x G&T (Gin & Tonic)

When we got the bill.....We noticed they charged us separately for the Gin & Tonic (fine)

1 measure of Gin was 190B (that was fine)

1 can of Tonic was 95B (that was NOT fine) It wasn't anything special...It was one of those ones you get in 7-11 for 14B or something.

Linn was like "Teila! you do realize that can of soda is more expensive than in Sweden & England!!" (Linn is Swedish - & on TF! haha)

It's not as if we were sitting in Sirocco or something! We were originally thinking of going to Bed Supperclub but we were starving, it was getting late & it would've taken us ages to get all dolled up (lol) etc...

We killed ourselves laughing & paid but felt kinda ripped off.

The portions were biiiigggggg! I hadn't even managed to get through half of my dish so I asked If I could take the rest home.

We'd paid, our table had been cleared, half the staff were outside (ready to close up), we were ready to go.....We waited for 40mins (for my "doggy bag") & still nothing.

I asked one of the waitresses for it & she went off for a bit.....came back out & was asking someone else where it was......then the other lady had to ask another guy. LOL. I got it in the end though.

Later on we ended up befriending a 12 year old kid & her 7 year old brother in a pool bar. Bought them a game of pool (the girl was actually bloody good), a non-alcoholic drink & gave them my "takeaway" LOL. (that was my good deed of the year )

But seriously.....nearly 100B for a can of soda in a normal restaurant!?!?